Title: Corner of the World
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Spencer Reid
Fandom: Doctor Who/Criminal Minds
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1, letter100
Prompt: 98, Space
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Spencer Reid, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

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Dear Doctor,

Before I met you, I always thought of outer space as something that only astronauts got to explore. It seemed like something that took years of training, that I'd never be able to do unless I dropped everything else I was interested in and concentrated on that.

It still kind of amazes me that I'm actually out here in time and space with you. When I look at any of the viewscreens on the Tardis, and I see space stretching out all around me, it's like this surreal dream to think that I'm here, in the middle of all that.

I think that's the way most humans are taught to believe -- that there are only certain things that can be possible in their lives, and that they have to concentrate on just one goal all their lives and work towards it if they want to have any hope of achieving their dreams.

I thought I had achieved most of my dreams when I became part of the BAU. There didn't seem to be anything else to reach for, other than to keep getting more degrees. But those were really just empty dreams that I was chasing to fill up an emptiness in my life.

That was something I never wanted to admit to myself. It wasn't until I realized that I was in love with Hotch that I finally did; even then, it was hard for me to come out and say to myself that I wasn't happy with my life and that I didn't have everything I wanted.

It took me a while to get past that. But once I did, I still had that empty feeling inside. It wasn't just the lack of a meaningful relationship in my life that was making me feel empty. It was because I'd never really felt like I belonged.

I know that I was needed in the BAU. I know that the people there cared about me, and looked at me as not only a colleague, but a good friend. And I felt the same way about them. Still do, and probably always will. They were a big part of my life.

But even knowing how much I was needed and how valued I was never really made me feel like I fit in. Yes, I had my niche with the team, but I still felt like I was on the outside looking in. And not just with them, but with every aspect of my life on Earth.

I never felt comfortable in my own skin. Maybe it's because I've always been a genius, because I'm so different from all the other people I've been around. But even with people of my own intellectual caliber, I never felt like I was where I should be. I never had a sense of belonging.

Out here traveling in time and space, I finally feel like I've found the place I belong. I don't know exactly why, but I feel more comfortable with myself and who I am here. I suppose it's because I don't feel like I have to tone down who I am to be accepted and looked at as "normal."

I've never been considered normal on Earth, but you'd know that. I think one thing that drew us to each other was the fact that neither of us would fit in within the kind of society that exists on my planet. I've already spent my whole life trying to do that, with disappointing results.

I'm talking like a scientist, aren't I? I need to stop that, and just talk like a person. I'm not used to doing that. I've always hidden behind my intelligence, tried to cover up for my social deficiencies by being the "smart guy." With you, I don't have to do that any more.

It's such a relief to be with somebody who accepts me exactly the way I am -- and values me for more than just how they perceive me to be. I know that I was valued for my intelligence with the BAU, but that's an entirely different kind of existence.

On Earth, I was always a social outcast because I was different. People even though that I didn't have much of a life, just because I'm not just like everybody else. Being thought of as naive and innocent got really old after a while.

I've obviously had lovers before. I'm not an inexperienced kid who's never been emotionally or physically involved with anyone. But you're the first person I've ever been with who I felt that I could give myself to completely, in every way possible.

I'm kind of finding it funny that it took coming out into time and space for me to feel like I've found myself. This wasn't something that I ever dreamed I'd be doing; it's something completely new for me, a kind of life I'd never have even thought of living.

When I was a kid, one of the things I thought I wanted to be was an astronaut. There was something about being out there in space, alone, just communing with the galaxy, that always appealed to me. It seemed like the perfect place for a kid who didn't fit in.

Then I found out that I'd never be alone -- that if I went through the training program, I'd always have at least one other astronaut with me. That kind of killed any desire I had to try, because the isolation was what always appealed to me about that life.

I'm in space now, and I'm not isolated. True, I only have one other person with me -- but it's different from being with other human beings. You're not like them. You accept me just as I am, without making me feel that I have to be someone I'm not or hide behind a mask.

So in a way, I guess I've finally achieved that childhood dream. Here I am, out here in time and space, traveling around and communing with the galaxy. The only part of that childhood fantasy that doesn't fit in with my life now is the isolation part.

I don't want that any more. I don't mind being isolated from other humans -- but I never want to be away from you. I could spend every second of the rest of my life with you, and be perfectly happy and comfortable with having that constant companionship.

I've found where I really belong. Here with you, out here in time and space, in your arms and in your hearts. I belong with you -- and you with me, in our own corner of the world. I think the way we found each other and have an instant attraction proves that.

Being in outer space started out as a dream for me, and now it's become my reality. And as long as I can share it with you, I want to keep living in this reality for a long time to come. It's a lot better than any dream I could ever have had.

All my love,

Spencer

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