Title: Give
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Will LaMontagne/Ethan Delacroix
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: PG-13
Table: 2, stories_a_z
Prompt: G
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Will LaMontagne or Ethan Delacroix, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Will leaned back in his chair, his eyes fixed on Ethan. He had started coming to the club every night that Ethan played here; the other place that he played in, which was more of a bar, was a place that he felt more at home in, but he hadn't been able to stay away.

Ethan had told him that it was no big deal if Will didn't come to see him play every night; he didn't expect that from anyone. But Will loved watching his boyfriend play; he loved the way that Ethan swayed at the piano, the way his fingers moved over the keys like a lover's caress.

He loved the way Ethan's eyes closed, the way his lips parted slightly; to Will, the only time Ethan ever looked as sexy as he did when he was playing the piano, lost in his music, was when they were in bed together, their bodies joined in the most primal of embraces.

Just watching Ethan play the way he was now made Will's body tighten with desire; he couldn't imagine looking at this man and not wanting him. All he could think of at the moment was getting Ethan out of here, walking home with him, and taking him to bed.

But that wasn't going to happen until later, he told himself, wishing that the clock would speed ahead in time and that they could leave the club now. He wanted to be with Ethan; no, he needed to be with him, to hold him, to touch him, to kiss him, to make love to him.

Ethan had been the only thing on his mind for the last few days, and that wasn't always good, he thought ruefully. He'd had a hard time concentrating on the cases he was working on; the other cops that he worked with had started to notice that, in a big way.

They were all teasing him about his new girlfriend, none of them knowing yet that he was dating a man. All of his colleagues knew that he was bisexual, that he liked men as well as women; no one seemed ot have a problem with that, which was definitely a good thing.

But he still hadn't been able to bring himself to tell his colleagues on the police force about Ethan yet. It wasn't that he was ashamed of his boyfriend; how could he be? Ethan was smart, beautiful, and talented; he was a man who anyone would be proud to have by their side.

He didn't really want to break that magical spell that still seemed to surround his budding relationship with Ethan. He didn't want to let others into the life that they shared; he couldn't help that when they opened up about their relationship, problems would start to flood in.

He didn't want that, Will told himself firmly. He wanted the two of them to stay as they were now, both of them still caught up in the rapture of falling in love, feeling that what they shared was unique, and that it would stay this way forever, with no pitfalls in their path.

That wasn't going to be an option, not for the rest of their lives, Will thought with a soft sigh. Sooner or later, they would have to tell all of their friends, the people they worked with, even the general public, that they were a couple. They wouldn't be able to hide it indefinitely.

Not that he wanted to hide it, not really. He wanted to stand on the rooftops and scream his love for Ethan to the world at large; he didn't care what anyone else thought about it. He loved Ethan, and Ethan loved him. That was the only thing that really mattered.

The truth was, he was terrified that letting everyone in his life know that he was involved with Ethan might make his lover a target. He'd dealt with that before; there had been threats against other people he'd dated, though those threats had never come to pass.

Still, he wasn't going to take any chances with Ethan's safety. But he couldn't keep their relationship hidden in darkness; just leaving the club and walking home with his boyfriend tonight would show people what they meant to each other. He wouldn't be able to keep his hands off Ethan.

Will knew that when his boyfriend finished playing this set, Ethan would sit down with him and take a short break, have a drink before he went back to the piano for his last set. And they would kiss, probably hold hands, and smile at each other in a way that would clue everyone in.

It would have to happen sooner or later, he told himself, sighing again and sipping his drink. He might as well get used to the idea that there would be people who might try to use his relationship with Ethan against him -- and there would be those who'd be opposed to it.

What other people thought of them didn't matter, Will reminded himself fiercely. As long as he and Ethan loved each other, that was enough. They could stand as a citadel of two against the rest of the world, if they had to. He was never giving this man, now that he'd found him.

He just wished that he could give Ethan more. There wasn't a lot that a cop had to offer; he put his life on the line every day, each time he went out on any kind of case. He could be killed at any time, and leave Ethan a lonely man. He had no way of knowing if that would happen.

Will closed his eyes, pushing that thought away. He wasn't going to die. He wasn't going to leave Ethan, not when they had only so recently discovered each other. Surely fate wouldn't be so cruel as to give them this much happiness, only to arbitrarily snatch it away.

But he had to face facts, he told himself. He couldn't give Ethan everything that his boyfriend deserved. If only he could, he would capture the sun, moon and stars to give to the man he loved; but he had to be content with only being able to give Ethan all the love that was in his heart.

He knew that his boyfriend would say that was more than enough; Ethan wasn't the kind of man who would expect the person he loved to give him anything but the same kind of love in return. He didn't ask for anything other than that love, and for fidelity, which Will had no problem with.

He wanted to give Ethan more than that. He wanted to be able to offer his boyfriend an easy life, the kind of life he deserved. But he would never be a rich man; he would never be able to give Ethan the riches of the world. Only his heart. Only his unending devotion, for all of their lives.

Will opened his eyes, his gaze focusing on his boyfriend. How had he gotten so lucky as to find someone like Ethan, just when he needed a good man in his life? It was as though fate had decided to smile on him, sending this man into his life at precisely the right time.

Ethan had fallen into his life so seamlessly; it was as though they had always been meant to be together. There had been no arguments about their space, no problems thus far, nothing like what Will had dealt with from other lovers in his past.

Of course, he and Ethan had only been together for a few days, he told himself. There was plenty of time for them to have disagreements -- and he didn't doubt that they would. But somehow, he felt that they'd always be able to work out some way to compromise.

He really shouldn't worry about what he could give Ethan, because that didn't really matter. They had each other, and beyond that, they could take their lives one day at a time. Nothing was important other than their love for each other, and that it was able to blossom and grow.

What worried him just as much as not being able to give Ethan all that he deserved was that he didn't want to hold Ethan back, he mused as his gaze followed his lover's movements. Ethan had so much talent, so much to give the world. He shouldn't be stuck here in New Orleans.

Of course, Ethan said that he didn't want to be anywhere else, that this was where he belonged and where he felt most comfortable. But Will still couldn't help thinking that his talent deserved to be heard, that he should be playing for more people than drunks in bars and French Quarter nightclubs.

If Ethan was happy here, then Will didn't want to encourage him to leave. And if Ethan left, there was always a chance that he would find someone else to love and leave him, Will, behind. That was the last thing he wanted to happen. Losing Ethan wasn't an option for him.

Though if leaving New Orleans -- and leaving him -- was what it took to make Ethan happy at some point, then Will would let him go. He could give the man he loved that much; if Ethan ever wanted his freedom, he would have what he needed as the last gift Will could give.

Just the thought of losing Ethan made his eyes well with tears; Will pushed them back ruthlessly. Breaking into tears here wasn't something he wanted to do; he didn't need to be thinking about things that would never happen. He and Ethan wouldn't leave each other; they'd be together for all of their lives.

At that moment, the song Ethan was playing finished; his boyfriend looked up and smiled at him, their gazes meeting and holding. Will was sure that he could feel his heart turn over in his chest; at the moment, his heart felt so full of love for Ethan that he thought it might burst.

It didn't matter what he could give Ethan in material ways. All that mattered was that he'd already given Ethan his heart -- and Ethan had surrendered his heart to Will. Nothing beyond that was really important; their love for each other was enough to make them both happy.

He would give Ethan all that he could -- and that would be enough. He would give Ethan all of his love, and all of his heart, every day of their lives together. Neither of them really needed anything else; whatever they gave each other beyond that was only icing on the cake.

They'd both already given their bodies -- and their hearts. They could each give each other so much more over time, but neither of them would ever ask for more than the other could give. They would take each day one at a time, and simply be thankful that they'd found love with each other.

Will put his drink aside as Ethan got up from the piano to take a break before the last set, a smile curving his own lips as he held out a hand to his boyfriend. It was time to start giving right here and now; whatever the rest of the world thought, he wasn't going to let it matter to him or to Ethan.

They loved each other, and no matter what anyone else might think of it, that love was the greatest gift either of them could give. Will had seen enough relationships fade away to know that what he and Ethan shared was something special, something that would grow stronger with time.

He was going to keep giving his heart, his body, and his soul to this man. Ethan already had all of him, but he would do his best to give even more. As he watched his boyfriend approach, Will stood and reached for him, ready to pull Ethan into his arms and show the world just how he felt.

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