Title: Intrusive Memories
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1drabble
Prompt: 05, Memory
Warning: Mentions of rape.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Aaron Hotchner or Spencer Reid, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

"Relax and it'll go in easier."

Those words rang in Aaron's ears as he sat up slowly and looked around his darkened bedroom. Beside him, Spencer was still sleeping peacefully; apparently Aaron's soft gasp upon waking hadn't disturbed him. But then, Spencer had been exhausted after a long flight.

He was glad that he hadn't woken his boyfriend; as far as Aaron was concerned, his nightmares about Foyet were his own problem to deal with. Having Spencer there to comfort him helped a lot, but he wouldn't be happy until those nightmares were gone for good.

No, not just nightmares, he corrected himself, wincing at the thought. Memories. Horrible memories of what Foyet had done to him -- what the bastard had taken from him. Something that he should have had the right to give, rather than having it ripped from him.

The memory of that night was still so strong within his mind, though he had tried his best to banish it. It just wouldn't fade away, no matter how much he tried to ignore it.

He hated remembering that night. He hated to think that the rest of his life would be colored by that memory -- and Spencer's life as well. Aaron didn't fool himself into thinking that his young lover wasn't nearly as affected by what had happened to him as he himself was.

Those memories kept coming back to him when he least wanted them around -- at times like this, when he should be resting peacefully in bed, with Spencer sleeping beside him. He should at least be able to have a little peace of mind when he was safe here at home.

But that was when the disturbing memories seemed to come back with the most force -- at the times when he thought that he was safe from their intrusion.

He didn't want to remember Foyet's words, the silken tone of his voice, or the fear he had felt. He didn't want to remember the utter helpless, the memory of what it had felt like to be completely at someone's mercy, with no way to defend himself against a violation.

The memory pressed down on him, making a scream start to rise to the surface, a sound that came from somewhere deep within him. A scream that, if he let it out, felt as though it would go on forever, with no end in sight. If he started screaming, then he would never stop.

Aaron clenched his fists, forcing himself to lie back down beside Spencer and close his eyes. He wasn't going to let those screams out. He wasn't going to lean on Spencer more than he had to. He would deal with this if it was the last thing he did.

If only the memories weren't always waiting to attack him when they were least expected.

***