Title: Out In the Open
By: psychokid
Pairing: Reid/Hotch
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds
Warning: Violence, abuse.
A/N: Well, not really liking this, (really don't like that title but I couldn't think of anything) but I'm bored. Like most of my stories, it will be ooc, a little scatter-brained, and might end up being a slash story - Hotch/Reid. I prefer Morgan/Reid, but I wanted to try something new. There's a little OMC/Reid in here too.
Summary: Spencer's ex shows up to humiliate him in front of his team, and reveals a secret...

***

Oh no, no, no, no, no no no nononono.

"And here's the book you left in my car…" Another book dropped onto Reid's desk, as the rest of the team watched shamelessly in their fascination of his public humiliation.

"And here are the books you left on my couch…" Another three books fell onto Reid's desk. For his part, all Reid could do was to stare at his irate ex-boyfriend, wide-eyed, open-mouthed and stunned. Shawn dug into the backpack he was holding, and withdrew another small stack of books. "And here are the books you left in my bedroom." The books fell on top of the stack with several dull thuds, and then Shawn slung the backpack over his shoulder, folding his arms across his chest and glaring at Reid. Gaping, in a fashion similar to an out-of-water fish, Reid could only continue staring at Shawn, shocked and dismayed that he would go so far as to come to Reid's workplace and do this, knowing full-well that Reid wasn't ready to come out to his team. Maybe Reid could just play it off as a pissed-off friend…

"And, just so you know, I fully plan on going out tonight, hooking up with someone a little more attentive in bed, and forgetting about you completely, Spencer."

If Reid's eyes could have gotten any wider, they would have. When Reid still didn't say anything, tongue-tied, and frozen in horror, Shawn took a deep breath, and turned, walking out of the bullpen. Reid watched him go, clutching a closed case file to his chest, face still frozen in horror. Once Shawn was out of sight, and the bullpen door was closed, Prentiss' voice cut through the awkward silence that hung in the air.

"God, you really pissed him off, Reid…"

Reid snapped his head in Prentiss' direction, so fast his neck popped. "No, really?" he squeaked, the first noise he'd made since Shawn had stormed into the room. The silence resettled, only interrupted as Reid's forehead hit his desk with a sharp thunk. Then, brisk footsteps echoed throughout the bullpen, followed by quick, sharp knocks to the door to Hotch's office. Reid tilted his head to the side, leaving the side of his face against the desk, and watched as Hotch answered his door, looking at Rossi with a confused expression.

"Dave, I was in the middle of something-"

"Reid's gay, you owe me twenty bucks."

"Reid's gay?" Morgan echoed from the bullpen, still sounding shocked from the scene. Hotch stepped out of his office slightly, staring into the bullpen, his eyebrows knitting together as he took in the sight of his team, all frozen in place in an awkward silence.

Rossi cleared his throat, folding his arms across his chest. "I'll tell you about it later, Aaron, now, if you would…" Reluctantly, Hotch pulled out his wallet, and handed a bill to Rossi.

With an indignant, uncharacteristic groan, Reid pushed away from his desk, and got up, heading out of the bullpen. Suddenly JJ, who had been standing and watching horrified by her office door, sprung to action, following Reid, sending an angry glare over her shoulder at the rest of her team members as she headed out.

Walking briskly to keep up with Reid, JJ caught him on his way out of the building in the foyer. "Spence, slow down, please…" Reid slowed to a stop, just outside the building, staring down at the cement sidewalk.

"I can't say that's the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to me, but it's high on the list," Reid muttered, squaring his shoulders and folding his arms across his chest. JJ reached up and put a hand on Reid's shoulder.

"Why didn't you just tell us? We don't care if you're gay, Spence."

Reid rolled his eyes, looking out at the street to avoid JJ's gaze. "I just didn't want anyone to know, okay? Morgan already teases me for being a little…effeminate. He calls me Pretty Boy, for god's sake! Do you know how emasculating that is? Being the geeky gay kid in college sucked…I don't want to be the geeky gay FBI agent. And, I know about the rumors the other units have about me, I'm not…I'm not stupid." His voice cracked slightly, and he swallowed as he ran his fingers through his hair, still not looking at JJ.

"Spence, we don't…wait, what rumors?"

Reid raised his eyebrows and finally looked at JJ, a bitter smile pressed into his lips. "You really don't know?" JJ shook her head, frowning, so Reid stuck his hands into his pockets, and started to look around, as if the street and surrounding area had suddenly becoming immensely interesting. "JJ, they let me in under special circumstances, I was younger than what was usually allowed, and I don't really scream 'field agent.' I've been called a 'pipe cleaner with eyes' on more than one occasion. A lot of the other agents don't understand the circumstances that got me into the Bureau, especially those who had been looking for a spot on the BAU. So, they made up their own reasons why I got in."

"Like….but no, you didn't…they let you in because you're a genius, not because…"

"You don't need to tell me that." Reid took in a deep breath, before letting it out in a slow sigh. "You'd better head back into the office. I'll be back in, I just need to take a walk first."

JJ nodded, and walked slowly back into the building, taking the elevator up to the correct floor, before heading into the bullpen. Hotch and Rossi were holed up in Hotch's office, and the rest were sitting around Prentiss' desk, including Garcia, who was staring confusedly at Prentiss.

"Reid's not gay, he's just a little…different…" Garcia started, glancing at Morgan as if asking him to confirm her statement. Morgan just shook his head, running his hand over his scalp.

"Sorry, Baby Girl. I wouldn't believe it either, if I hadn't been here…" Just then JJ walked up to them, her lips tight as her arms folded across her chest, almost defensively.

"Hey, JJ, tell Garcia we're not lying, because she doesn't believe us," Morgan said, waving his hand at Garcia. He obviously hadn't caught JJ's hostile posture and expression.

"This isn't funny, Morgan," she said, her voice cooling over.

"I'm not making fun of him," Morgan chuckled, putting his hands up in a defensive posture. "I'm just letting Garcia know that our little genius is a little…you know, bent." As Morgan spoke, the door to the bullpen snapped closed, and Reid walked in, ignoring the looks he got as he sat down at his desk. Morgan smiled, flashing his white teeth. "Hey, Pretty Boy." Reid ignored him, piling the books his ex had left him into a neat pile on the corner of his desk.

"What do you want, Morgan?" Reid asked, his voice dry as he pulled his chair up to his desk, starting up his computer.

"Nothin', just saying hi," Morgan answered, sounding a little put-off. Reid didn't answer, staring studiously at his computer screen. Morgan and Prentiss got the message, and left him alone, going back to work. JJ paused, but then left, going into her office. Reid refused to look up throughout the rest of the work day, staying focused on his files and computer screen. When no cases came, and it was finally time to go, Reid let out a heavy sigh of relief, grabbing the books and a couple files, and shoving them into his bag before heading out, not looking back as he made his way out of the bullpen.

He walked to the subway, and then got onto the train, taking his seat silently, pulling out one of the books, and opening it as the train started to move. The trip passed in a haze, and Reid could hardly remember what he had read as he got off, walking up the concrete steps and out onto the street. He made it into his apartment, and turned on the lights. A quick, precautionary glance around revealed that the apartment was empty, so he turned, and shut and locked the door, toeing off his shoes. He walked into the tiny living room, dropping his bag down onto the cluttered tea-table.

Reid then walked over to his phone, and began listening to the messages on the answering machine. Two were from colleges, offering him a job, and the third was from Austin, the girl he'd met in Atlanta. He smiled a little as Austin chattered along, asking him to call her back when he got the time, and tell her how he was doing. After the case in Atlanta had wrapped up, and he'd gotten home, Reid had made the dreaded phone call to make up some excuse why they would never work. Instead he had ended up telling Austin that he was gay, and she had been remarkably understanding, and they had even managed to become friends and keep in touch.

Once he finished listening to her message, Reid went to the bathroom and got undressed, pulling off his tie before yanking his sweater-vest and button up shirt off over his head at the same time. He then took a quick shower, trying to decide what he would do with the rest of his day off. As he began to dry off, Reid decided that being forcibly outed to his team by his ex-boyfriend was a good enough excuse to spend the rest of the evening relaxing, barring the possibility of getting called in for a case. He put on the pair of comfortable black silk pajamas Austin had sent him for his birthday before heading out into the living room.

Reid turned on the tv, and was delighted to find an old rerun of "Lost In Space" on. He went to the tiny kitchen that was adjacent to his tinier living room, and got out the half gallon of vanilla ice cream that he'd bought before heading out on the last case. He got a spoon, and then sat down on his scratchy old purple couch. As the show started, Reid pulled off the top of the ice cream, and then grabbed the blankets that were bunched up at the end of the couch, and curled up in the blankets, digging into the ice cream.

As the show ran on, Reid giggled helplessly at B-9, and occasionally muttered angrily at the scientific mistakes, and nearly forgot why he was eating ice cream and watching a science fiction, until a knock sounded at his door. He let out a small groan, and got up, carrying his slightly-melted treat with him.

Reid checked the peephole, and frowned at the figure on the other side of the door. Hotch was staring at a spot on the wall in the hallway, and as the door opened, he looked over at Reid. Reid felt his face heat up as Hotch looked him up and down, his eyebrows twitching upward before he finally met Reid's gaze. Suddenly silk pajamas didn't seem like such a good idea.

"Uh…Hotch…what are….what are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to make sure you're okay." Hotch looked genuinely concerned, but Reid knew he wanted to come in and talk, but he stayed in the doorway, barring Hotch from entering. He hadn't exactly overlooked the fact that Hotch and Rossi had made a bet regarding his sexual orientation, which was, to be frank, just a little weird, in Reid's opinion.

"I'm fine," Reid answered, a slight sarcastic tone edging its way into his voice. "I find it extremely amusing that my ex unexpectedly outed me to my team, and that you and Rossi had an ongoing bet on whether or not I'm some sort of fag. Oh, and sorry to let you down about that," as Reid spoke, his tone became more and more clipped and sarcastic, a tight, bitter smile forming on his lips. "But Rossi was right, I'm gay. Sorry about the twenty bucks. Now, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to get back to what I was doing." As Reid slammed the door closed, he locked it once more, vaguely aware that he probably shouldn't have treated his boss so disrespectfully. Ignoring the little voice in his head that was rambling on about how he shouldn't piss of his boss, Reid sat back down on the couch, forcing himself to pay attention to the show once more. However, ten minutes later, he was interrupted by a knock at his door once again.

With a sigh, Reid got to his feet, going to the kitchen to put the ice cream away (it was nearly all the way melted at this point, and he knew he might as well just throw it away, refrozen ice cream really wasn't all that good) and then he answered the door, frowning as he was once again presented with the sight of Hotch at his doorstep. "What now, Hotch?" Reid asked, exasperated.

"I didn't drive all the way out here to Stafford just so you could shut the door on my face, Reid, so let me in" Hotch answered, shortly, sounding just as exasperated as Reid. Grudgingly, Reid moved out of the way, letting Hotch enter the tidy apartment. Reid closed the door, and turned, leaning against it, watching as Hotch stepped into the middle of the room, glancing around, as if eyeing a crime scene. Reid cleared his throat loudly, just to let Hotch know he wasn't comfortable with Hotch profiling his home. Hotch turned to face Reid.

"Well?" Reid asked impatiently. Hotch waited for a moment, before speaking.

"Rossi told me about what your…ex-boyfriend did," Hotch began, speaking in a slow, measured tone.

"And…?" Reid prompted, wishing Hotch would just get to the point.

"And, I just want you to know that, if you need some time, you can take some time off…"

Reid's eyebrows flew upwards briefly, and his lips parted in surprise. "Hotch, I don't need a break from work…" Reid suddenly couldn't look Hotch in the eye, his gaze darting haphazardly around the apartment, his breath speeding up slightly as he stuck his hands into the pockets of his pajama bottoms, anger starting to cloud his mind, and he looked back at Hotch, meeting his gaze. "If you really think something this stupid is enough to make me crack, maybe you should take me off the team, because if I can't handle a simple break-up, I really shouldn't be able to handle the cases we work on." Reid tried to keep his voice down, but only managed to keep a steady tone as the volume increased.

Hotch looked slightly surprised, and simply stared at Reid for a moment. If he hadn't been so angry, Reid probably would have run to get his camera out of the bedroom to take a picture of Hotch's shocked expression so he could show it to Morgan and Prentiss. "I wasn't implying that-" Hotch began, sounding too formal and professional for Reid's taste. Why couldn't he have been professional in regards to Reid's sexuality? Why had he been talking about it with Rossi in the first place?

"If my ability to work isn't under question, then I'd really like to get to enjoying my night." Hotch nodded, and Reid moved away from the door, unlocking and opening it, motioning for Hotch to leave. Hotch walked out, and Reid closed the door behind him, locking it once more. He slumped back onto the couch, curling up and promptly falling asleep.

***

Reid rolled over, sometime in the morning before the sun had come up, and fell off of the couch, groaning as he hit the ground. A quick glance at the clock on the wall revealed the time to be 4:12 in the morning. Pushing his hair out of his face with one hand, Reid pushed himself up off of the ground, and then stood, rubbing his face with his hands. He shuffled into the kitchen, dragging his feet across the carpet as he walked, and set the timer on the coffee pot, before going into the bathroom, and taking a quick shower, mainly to wake himself up. By the time he'd gotten around fully, it was almost six, so he grabbed his bag off of the tea-table, removing the books from the bag, and headed to work, taking his car in this time.

As he walked into the empty office, he left the overhead lights off, and went straight to the break room for a second cup of coffee, before heading to his desk. Getting situated, Reid turned on his desk lamp, and hunched over, pulling a couple case files out. After a couple minutes, enjoying the rare quiet of the bullpen, Reid leaned back in his chair, getting comfortable as he absent-mindedly flipped through the files, making occasional marks when necessary. At some point, he must have gotten too comfortable in the mostly dark, warm, silent room, and nodded off, dropping his file onto the floor. However, when he woke up, it was too an entirely different scene, lights on, people moving around the crowded bullpen, noise emanating from every corner of the room. Reid started, his neck popping as he groggily sat up straight, his head having lolled to his chest at a funny angle.

Morgan, who was sitting at his desk, noticed Reid waking up. "Well, good morning, sunshine. Late night?" Morgan asked, the usual grin on his face. Suddenly, the grin faltered, and he took on an apologetic tone. "Not that…it's any of my business, what you were doing up late…"

Reid blinked and looked around, a little disoriented by the sudden change in his surroundings. He put a hand up to mask a yawn before answering off-handedly, "I was watching an old Sci-Fi program…Lost in Space…It was originally called 'Space Family Robinson'…." He recognized the disinterested look on Morgan's face, and stopped before he could think of another piece of useless trivia from the show. Rubbing his stiff neck with one hand, Reid reached down to pick up the file that had fallen onto the floor. "Why didn't you wake me up?" Reid asked grumpily as he sorted out the pages. Morgan shrugged, and turned back to his desk.

"I figured I'd let you get some sleep."

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Reid got up from his desk and went to the break room to get another cup of coffee. As he fussed with the coffee maker, Rossi came in, taking a sip off of his own cup.

"You and Hotch have two consults to do this week, and it sounds like you two are going on a road trip," Rossi commented dryly. Reid frowned, turning slightly as he pushed 'on' on the coffee maker.

"You're kidding, right?"

"Nope."

"I didn't know about any consults…where are they?"

"The first one's in Baltimore, and the second is in Philadelphia."

"Why aren't you going?" Reid asked, suspiciously. He still didn't want to deal with Hotch, let alone spend a couple days on the road with him, especially after last night.

"Because I don't want to go," Rossi answered, as if it were the most obvious thing ever. Instead of arguing, Reid just let out a heavy sigh, and finished making his coffee, stirring in sugar and creamer in silence. He made his way back into the bullpen, deciding not to approach Hotch about the consults just yet. However, soon enough, Hotch approached him, briefcase in hand.

"Do you have your go-bag?" Hotch asked shortly. Reid pressed his lips together tightly and swallowed, but nodded slightly. "Good, grab it and meet me in the parking garage, we have some consults to go to. One is in Baltimore, and the other in Philadelphia, so we'll be gone for at least a week. We're leaving in ten minutes." Without another word, Hotch turned and left, leaving Reid to glare at the spot he had vacated.

"Oooh, consults. Sounds fun," Morgan joked. Reid rolled his eyes, packing his files into his bag.

"Yeah, a week with Hotch," Reid groaned, rubbing his face with his hand.

"Well, mom's just worried about you, kid," Morgan's tone was still light, and joking, but there was a hint of concern under it all. Reid couldn't help but smile lightly, because if anything, the light teasing and joking was Morgan's way of showing that he still accepted him.

"Don't let him hear you call him that," Reid warned, turning back to his computer to shut it down. Morgan snorted, leaning back in his chair. Reid noticed with mild amusement that Morgan hadn't quite started working yet, his file folders not yet taken out.

"What'll he do? Turn into the Hulk and chuck me across the room?" Reid's overactive mind immediately picked up and formed an image of Morgan's statement, and Reid had to press his lips together tightly to keep from laughing.

"That is soo not funny," Reid muttered, standing up and slinging his bag over his shoulder. Morgan just grinned, taking out some folders, and pretending to look through them.

"Uh-huh, whatever you say. You have fun in…Baltimore and Philly with Mom-Hotch." There was enough sarcasm in Morgan's voice to make Reid groan aloud.

"Sure. I'll see you when we get back." Reid then headed out, grabbing his go-bag from the closet he kept it in before leaving the building. As he entered the parking garage, he turned to where the Bureau SUVs were, and found Hotch waiting for him, staring impatiently at his watch while standing next to the vehicle. Reid didn't wait for him to say anything before hopping into the passenger seat, tossing his bag between the front seats into the back, before putting on his seat belt. Hotch got into the passenger seat, and turned on the engine. For the first few minutes of the trip, neither of them spoke, and Hotch seemed content to let the silence between them hang. However, once they had left town, and Reid still hadn't spoken, Hotch let out a slow sigh.

"Are you not going to talk to me for the entire trip? It'll make the consults more difficult than they need to be, and I'm sure one of the police officers notice something if you continue to give me the silent treatment." Reid shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"It's not that I'm not talking to you, I just choose to talk to you as little as possible," Reid answered, before turning in his seat, almost curling up in it as he stared out of his window.

"I don't see why you're so mad at me." Hotch's voice was controlled and authoritative, as always, but there was a hint of underlying anger in his tone. When Reid spoke, his voice was harsh, even though he tried to keep it calm.

"You made a bet with Rossi about me!" A good way to start a calm conversation is to begin it by yelling. "We're not supposed to profile each other, yet its okay to muse over one of your agent's gender preferences?" Reid had turned in his seat to look at Hotch as he spoke, and noticed Hotch's eyebrows draw inwards slightly as it sunk in. "You really don't see how that would make me uncomfortable? What the hell else were you discussing while talking about me?"

"I realize that it was a…lapse in judgment and professionalism, and I'm sorry for that," Hotch sounded slightly unsure about his words as he spoke, something Reid wasn't used to. "I wouldn't have said anything, but right after Dave joined, he approached me on the subject. I simply said that I didn't think you were gay, and he bet me twenty dollars you were…I really didn't think anything would become of the bet. I'm sorry."

"Why would he even bring something like that up with you?" Reid asked, not quite hysterical, but obviously rather upset.

"God, I don't know…why don't you ask him?" Hotch asked, exasperated. Reid frowned, and then muttered something coherent, turning back around to stare out the window. "Reid, this conversation isn't over yet, so if you're done with dwelling on the bet, there are still some things I'd like to talk to you about."

Reid groaned, and Hotch heard a dull thud as Reid smacked his forehead against the SUV's window. "Okay, fine, what else did you want to talk about?" Reid asked, not bothering to turn around.

"I'd like you to talk to me about your ex-boyfriend, Shawn."

"Is it normal for an SAC to interview his agents about their ex's?" Reid asked, annoyed.

"No, not unless their ex comes into the FBI building to cause a scene in the office."

"That wasn't my fault! How was I supposed to know he had the security clearance to make it into the bullpen?" Reid asked, turning around again. As he spoke, he gesticulated widely, violently hitting his hand on the door, but not seeming to notice. Hotch's jaw got tense, and Reid knew he was beginning to get on Hotch's nerves, so he calmed down a little. "I'm sorry; I just didn't know he'd had a previous job with the FBI. I promise it won't happen again."

"Reid, that's not…I just want to make sure he isn't going to be bugging you anymore, at work, or otherwise."

"That's none of your business."

"How'd the relationship end?" Hotch pushed, determined.

"I broke up with him."

"Why?"

"He was pushy, and controlling. I decided to break it off before it got any worse."

"Did he ever hurt you?"

"Stop interrogating me!" Reid snapped, his frustration evident in his voice. "No, he didn't hurt me, okay?" Reid stared at the dashboard with a look of contempt on his face.

"So the abusive behavior didn't start until after you dumped him?"

"Abusive be….Hotch, stop profiling my ex!" Reid exclaimed, staring at Hotch in disbelief. "He was obsessive in the relationship, when I dumped him, he got mad, okay? I'm not sure what Rossi told you, but it really wasn't a very big deal. He was just pissed off."

"What do you mean by, 'pushy, controlling and obsessive'?" Hotch asked, undeterred by the growing annoyance in Reid's voice.

"None of your business! Now drop it, or…I'm going to report you for a lack of professionalism."

"Reid…" Hotch began, obviously ready to continue.

"I'm serious, so drop it." Reid's tone held a sense of finality, and he turned away again, looking out of his window and curling up in the passenger seat, managing to get his knees up onto the uncomfortable seat. It wasn't late, but after a couple of hours of driving, Reid fell soundly asleep, leaving Hotch to his own thoughts.

***

As Reid slept, the cabin of the vehicle quieted, reduced to the steady hum of the vehicle, and Reid's slow, rhythmic breathing. This left Hotch with nothing but the road and his thoughts to center on as he drove, and, although inter-team profiling was prohibited, the ever present profiler in Hotch began to analyze Reid and his actions.

He knew why Reid was so angry, it was only natural. Reid was a very private person, especially after what happened with Henkel, and Gideon leaving. Any time his private life came up in a conversation, Reid immediately put up his defensive walls, shutting everyone out. And hearing that his superiors had been discussing an aspect of his life would lead to the natural assumption that other aspects of his life might have been scrutinized. Reflecting on the night the conversation with Dave had taken place; Hotch knew that Reid was right to feel uncomfortable, but for different reasons.

After Dave had first joined the team, he had naturally begun to visit Hotch at his empty home. They had drinks, and talked. As old friends, they naturally discussed their previous experiences with one another. Dave also brought up Haley, which led to an in-depth conversation about Hotch's divorce. For the most part, the conversations were all expected. However, when Dave had approached him, asking about Reid, Hotch had been taken aback. He shouldn't have been, Dave always been able to get into his head better than anyone else. Naturally, he had picked up on his feelings for Reid, and approached him on it. For Hotch, simply talking about his attraction to Reid was a step too far, but when Dave suggested that Hotch pursue a relationship with the resident genius, Hotch had simply said the first thing that came to his head: Reid's not gay. Of course, that had led to the bet, which on retrospect was more unprofessional than anything else. And it hadn't helped that Dave had brought it up in front of Reid.

After a couple of minutes of beating himself up for making the bet, Hotch refocused on what was bothering him most: Shawn. There was obviously something wrong with Reid's ex-boyfriend, and Reid wasn't telling him everything. Reid didn't display the usual symptoms of being a victim of domestic abuse; he hadn't started wearing long sleeves, no drastic changes in personality. Which was unsettling in itself, Hotch knew that Shawn's behavior at the office was a huge, neon-colored sign that screamed 'abusive.' How far that abuse went, Hotch couldn't figure out unless Reid opened up to him.

Reid stirred in his sleep, and Hotch took his eyes off the road momentarily to glance at him. Curled up in the seat, Reid looked unfathomably small, and Hotch wondered if he had lost weight in the last month. Maybe he was just imagining it, but it kept his mind going, fueled his worry.

The drive was short, just over an hour, and soon Hotch found himself at the hotel. Getting out, Hotch grabbed his and Reid's go-bags from the back before heading to Reid's door. Putting the bags on the ground, Hotch opened the door, and then reached inside, gently shaking Reid's shoulder. Reid moaned softly, shifting, and straightening his back.

"You okay?" Hotch asked, on impulse. Reid slid out of the seat, rubbing the back of his neck as he stood.

"Yeah, just slept funny," he muttered. They grabbed their bags and walked into the lobby, and as Hotch got the key to the hotel room, Reid used the visitor's bathroom. When they finally made it to their room, it was late, but not quite late enough, so Reid took out the files for the consult, and began going through them. Hotch left the room, going out for a quick walk around the hotel. When he returned, Reid had discarded the file (he'd probably gone through it at least four times in the ten minutes Hotch had been gone) and was lying on his stomach on the bed, his face buried in a pillow.

"Neck still hurt?" Hotch asked as he closed the door, sitting down in one of the uncomfortable chairs around a little round table.

"Yeah, remind me to never sleep in a car again," Reid muttered, pushing himself up onto his elbows, turning to Hotch. A wave of guilt rushed over Hotch when his body warmed to the way Reid was sitting, his back arched. Reid didn't seem to notice as he grabbed one of the files off of the bedside table, and opened it. "Have you read the file on the Baltimore case? I think there might be an extreme level of psychosis, the killings are ritualistic…" Hotch couldn't pay full attention on what Reid was saying as he drawled on about the possible delusions the killer could have for the next ten minutes, he was simply too caught up in his previous thoughts from the drive. He watched Reid as he talked, his face animated as he flicked through the pages, as if he might have missed something the first few times he'd read the reports. Once Reid finally finished, Hotch nodded, refocusing on the present.

"Make sure to mention that to the Baltimore P.D., but maybe a condensed version." Reid nodded, a serious look on his face as he put the file away. He was momentarily quiet, staring at the headboard, biting his lips together.

"Reid?" Hotch prompted when he didn't say anything. Reid snapped out of whatever reverie he had fallen in, raising his eyebrows at Hotch. He got off of the bed, putting his hands on his hip, and arching his back, leading to a series of audible clicks as his back popped.

"We should get something to eat, I'm hungry," Reid said, flopping back onto the bed.

"I'll order something," Hotch muttered, getting up and getting the phone book off of one of the bedside tables. As he flicked through the pages, Reid's cell went off. He answered it promptly, his voice professional.

"Doctor Reid." Reid answered curtly. There was a moment of silence, and Hotch watched as a frown settled on Reid's face before he spoke again. "Um, actually I'm out of town, so maybe when I get back, sometime next week." Hotch heard the phone click shut just as he found the section in the phone book he was looking for. He glanced up from the page, his eyebrows inching upwards.

"Who was that?"

"Landlord."

"What did he want?" Hotch wasn't a profiler for nothing, he knew Reid was lying.

"He was wondering if I could pay rent early."

"Reid, is it really worth our time for you to lie when we both know that's not the truth?"

Reid pretended to think it over, his face scrunching up in concentration. "It would probably work better if you went along with it," he pointed out after a minute, his head tilting to the side as he studied Hotch. Forcing himself to break the gaze, Hotch looked back at their food delivery options, which mainly consisted of pizza, not wanting to get too drawn into the way Reid's hair fell over his face as he tilted his head.

Instead of probing about the phone conversation further, Hotch merely picked up the receiver of the hotel telephone, and said, "Whenever you want to tell me the truth, I'm here to listen." Reid looked a little surprised by the statement, even though he shouldn't have been, not after Hotch had tried so hard to get Reid to talk earlier. Maybe it was the tone Hotch had purposefully used: calm and comforting, as opposed to his worried demeanor in the car. Reid was used to people worrying about him, but Hotch knew he wasn't used to anyone comforting him, not since Gideon had left. Hotch ordered a pizza, and then set the phone down. He noticed Reid fiddling with his hands, staring at them as his lips quirked to the side as he thought.

"He never hit me." Reid looked up at Hotch, face open, as if anticipating some form of reprimand. Hotch just sat down next to him, forcing himself not to put his hand on Reid's shoulder, or engage in any other form of physical comfort.

"We both know that abuse isn't restricted to physical assault."

Reid shifted uncomfortably, shaking his head, pursing his lips. "No…he didn't…" Reid's head jerked as the hotel phone rang. Hotch answered it, putting it down when he was done.

"I have to go get the pizza from the lobby." Reid nodded, looking back down at his lap and biting his lips together. Hotch hurried to the lobby and paid the pizza boy before returning to their room. Reid was sitting just as he had been, and looked up as Hotch set the pizza on the little table. Reid sat down in the chair across from Hotch, and immediately launched into a lecture about the history of the public's view of psychosis, which led them back to the topic of the Baltimore case. By the time they had finished compiling their thoughts, and what they would say to the Baltimore police, it was late enough that they decided to turn in for the night.

As Reid fell asleep, curled under the covers, Hotch's phone began to vibrate. Hotch got out of bed grudgingly, and left the hotel room, not wanting to wake Reid. As he stepped out into the hallway, wearing sweats and an FBI tee-shirt, he flipped the phone open.

"Hotchner."

"How's the road trip with Reid going?"

Hotch sighed, recognizing Dave's voice on the other line. He began walking down the hall, heading towards the lobby. "Well, after yelling at me for making that bet with you, he spent the rest of the drive sleeping." There was a chuckle on the other line, and Hotch couldn't help but feel irritated. Hotch walked into the lobby, and then out of the front door, stopping as he walked out into the night air.

"You know, this would be much easier if you would just tell him about your feelings for him."

"You know why I can't do that." When Hotch heard Dave snort, his lips tightened into a thin line as he tried to control his rising irritation.

"I think it would do you a great deal of good to break the rules, just this once."

"It wouldn't be good for Reid."

"What wouldn't be good for Reid? A stable relationship with someone who actually cares about him? I think he could benefit from being with someone who appreciates him. Someone who understands him."

Hotch pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, shaking his head. "Dave, he doesn't trust me enough to tell me about Shawn, he definitely doesn't trust me enough to start a relationship."

"Whatever you say, Romeo." The line went dead, and Hotch slowly walked back to the hotel, dragging his feet as he made it down the hallway to his and Reid's hotel room. As he opened the door, enough light came into the room to reveal Reid standing in front of the window. Closing the door, Hotch flicked the lights on, and Reid turned, an alarming amount of curiosity on his face.

"What are you doing up?" Hotch asked, frowning.

"I heard you get up," Reid said, his eyebrows arching upwards. He had the look of an expectant puppy, waiting for a treat. It was disconcerting.

"Sorry I woke you," Hotch answered shortly.

"You do know you were standing right outside the window while talking to Rossi?"

***

Hotch stared blankly at Reid, his expression the usually dark frown, but inside his mind was spinning wildly. Reid leaned back against the window frame, his expression expectant, but not upset, or angry. Which worried Hotch…he couldn't start a relationship with Reid, even if Reid were open to it. He couldn't be enough for Reid, like he wasn't enough for Haley. Reid deserved someone who could focus their full attention on him, and as the SAC, Hotch couldn't do that. But, seeing the expression on Reid's face, Hotch knew he couldn't just skirt around the issue. Slumping into a chair, Hotch put his palm against his temple, closing his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Reid, I didn't know you could hear me."

Reid's eyebrows shot up again. "So you really…you're attracted to me?" Reid asked, sounding unsure of himself. He frowned, folding his arms across his chest. Hotch looked up and found Reid looking at him, analyzing him like a complex problem he was determined to solve. With a sigh, Hotch shook his head, looking over at the door, contemplating simply leaving. He couldn't bring himself to admit his feelings to Reid, they seemed too inappropriate. He wondered what kind of man he was, to be drawn to such a vulnerable young man, after being married with a kid. Hotch wasn't homophobic, and Reid wasn't the first man he'd felt drawn to, but he had never acted on those feelings…and Reid was just too young, and he was a co-worker.

When he couldn't find something to say, he simply shook his head, staring down at the table. Reid obviously wasn't done talking about it though. "I guess I should have known, it explains what Rossi did in the bullpen. At first I thought he was just being discourteous." When Hotch still didn't answer, Reid persisted, sounding determined. "I could…I wouldn't tell anyone…if, you know, you do…" Reid's voice trailed off as he became more and more insecure. Hotch rubbed his face, sighing loudly.

"Reid, relationships in the workplace are highly inappropriate."

Reid nodded, biting his lips together momentarily, sitting down across from Hotch, looking at him with puppy-dog eyes through his bangs. "So….that's a no?" Reid looked suddenly miserable, and Hotch had to resist the urge to get up and simply hug him. But Hotch assured himself that it was for the best, and nodded.

"Do you really think now is a good time for you to start a new relationship?" Hotch asked gently, still skirting around the issue of his attraction to Reid; he couldn't admit it, but he didn't want to hurt Reid's feelings by denying it either, not now that Reid had heard him talking to Dave. A flurry of emotions passed over Reid's face; hurt, uncertainty, doubt, fear…Hotch couldn't tell what they all were.

"I wasn't…he didn't abuse me, Hotch." Reid's voice was harsh, and quiet, and he paused to swallow. "A-and you wouldn't…"

Hotch felt his chest tighten. "I would never hurt you…." Hotch started, staring right at Reid. He cleared his throat, and waited a second to calm down before he spoke again. "I'll be here for you, not matter what you need…but not like that."

"But…I heard you…Hotch, I trust you, I really do, I just don't like talking about Shawn," Reid's voice rose in pitch and sped up. Hotch kept his expression firm, and shook his head.

"It would be unprofessional of me to allow-" Hotch began, but Reid interrupted him, sounding incredulous.

"Fine, don't admit that you like me! I'll just go to bed." Reid emphasized his point by getting up and noisily crawling into the bed, pulling the covers over his head. Sighing, Hotch got up and turned off the lights before getting into his own bed, hoping Reid would realize the ridiculousness of the situation in the morning and drop the subject.

Of course, Reid didn't bring up the topic the next day as they got ready for the conference, and he definitely didn't say anything while they were in the police station, nor did he say anything once they'd finished. In fact, he didn't say anything that didn't pertain to the case they'd helped the police with. As they drove back to the hotel to grab their bags and check out, Reid stopped talking entirely, reading a book he'd bought at the gas station. Once at the hotel, Reid simply shut the book and jumped out, leaving the book on the seat as he walked into the hotel. Hotch followed him in, but stopped at the front desk to check out. Just as he was finishing up, Reid came out, carrying both of their bags. He set the bags down and handed Hotch the keys before picking the bags back up and heading out. Hotch gave the receptionist the keys, thanked her, and then followed Reid out.

"You're back to talking to me as little as possible?" Hotch asked, going for a light tone.

"Mm-hm," Reid answered, staring blankly out of the window.

Hotch didn't push him further, and focused on his driving once more. However, after ten minutes of silence, Reid spoke up.

"Why don't you let me drive?"

A little startled, it took Hotch a few seconds to process the question. "Well…you drive like Gideon. If you start thinking too much, you pretty much stop paying attention to the road."

"I do that?"

"Yes."

"So you don't trust my driving?" Hotch frowned at the road, unsure of where Reid was going with all of this.

"Well…I guess so."

"So I'm a hopeless case when it comes to being in a relationship because I can't be trusted while driving?"

If he hadn't been driving, Hotch would have found the nearest hard surface, and simply began to bang his head against it. "Reid…you know that's not the same thing."

"I told you I trust you, but you still don't think I can handle a relationship."

"That's not what I said. Reid, I'm the SAC, I can't start a relationship with a subordinate."

"What if I'm persistent?"

"No."

"Is this what they're talking about when they say someone is 'hard to get'?" Hotch knew Reid was asking a serious question, that he didn't mean it as a joke, but it was still slightly comical, and Hotch had to take a deep breath and count to ten to keep himself from laughing. Before he could answer, though, Reid continued. "Should I be playing along? I could get you chocolate and you could turn me down. That's how it's supposed to go, right?"

"No, I'm not playing hard to get, and I don't want you to try to…catch me, or whatever it is you're supposed to do."

"Okay…most relationship therapists actually think that playing hard to get starts a relationship off on a deceptive note, so we shouldn't do that."

"Reid, I'm not talking about this anymore, so just drop it." Hotch glanced at Reid, just as Reid slumped in his seat, a frown darkening his features. His sudden determination to start a relationship was strange, after all, Reid had never made a move towards him before. Hotch figured it was a combination of finding out that Hotch was attracted to him, and the need to have someone who would care about him now that his 'questionable' relationship with Shawn was over. Reid picked up the case file for their consult in Philadelphia, and went through it as they drove.

***

Around noon, Hotch stopped at a diner, and got out of the SUV. Reid looked up from the book he had exchanged for the case file, looking a little drowsy from driving. Looking out of the windshield, he seemed to get the idea, and hoped out, stretching his arms and legs.

"Hotch?"

"What is it, Reid?" Hotch asked, keeping his tone neutral as they walked up to the diner.

"I'm sorry, about earlier," Reid stuttered, focusing on the ground, as if it would suddenly crack open and swallow him whole if he weren't careful. Hotch looked at Reid, hiding his surprise.

"Do you usually have such drastic mood changes?"

"Umm…no." The corners of Reid's lips pulled upwards into a nervous smile. "It's just that…Rossi and Morgan always got on my case, for not pursuing a crush…so we'll just, not talk about it anymore, if that's what you want." Reid pushed the door to the diner open, and Hotch went in, closely followed by Reid. As they took their seats, Reid's phone went off, and he answered it, with the usual, curt, 'Doctor Reid'. After a couple seconds, his lips pursed tightly before he answered.

"Everything's fine, Rossi." He waited for a moment, and then simply snapped the phone shut. The waitress walked up, smiling cordially while handing them menus. Reid opened his, and after a brief second to scan the menu, he put it down.

"Ummm, water, and a grilled turkey sandwich." The waitresses eyebrows went up, but the smile remained.

"Sure thing. And what for you, dearie?" she asked, turning to Hotch.

"Water, and a burger," Hotch answered, handing her the menu. Once she left, Hotch turned back to Reid.

"What did Dave want?"

Reid bit his lips together, shrugging. "He just wanted to know how we're doing."

Hotch resisted the urge to ask exactly what Dave said, scrutinizing the cheesy old photos on the diner wall. As the waitress came with their food, Hotch looked up and thanked her. When she walked away, Reid began picking at his sandwich, taking out the onions, and setting them to the side of his plate. Reid glanced up, and found Hotch watching him curiously. He cleared his throat, and sat up straight, putting a French fry in his mouth, before raising a finger, and saying, matter-of-factly, "ah, onions are gross."

Hotch couldn't help but laugh a little, shaking his head, and began eating as well. "Your picky," Hotch commented dryly. Reid frowned, and took a bite and swallowed before answering.

"I grew up on tv dinners. I can be as picky as I want now."

Once they were finished with lunch, Reid went to use the restroom while Hotch went out to the SUV, pulling out his cell phone. Flicking it open, he clicked speed dial 'two', and waited as it rang. A cheery voice on the other line greeted him.

"Well, hello Mr. Boss Man. What magic can I do for you?" Garcia asked.

"I need you to find anything you can on Shawn, Reid's ex-boyfriend."

"Ahh…Sir, I'm not sure…I mean, does Genius-Cakes know you're doing a background check on his ex?"

"Garcia, please."

"There's not much I can do with just a first name."

"He had security clearance to get into the bullpen."

"Oooh, I can work with that."

"So you'll do it?"

Garcia was silent for a moment, and then let out an audible sigh. "I don't see the harm in it, so sure, why not. I'll call you when I have something."

"Thank you Garcia."

Hotch hung up, and waited for another minute, before Reid emerged, carrying a bag with a couple doughnuts in it. After a questionable glance from Hotch, Reid shrugged slightly.

"For the ride there, just in case I get hungry."

"You plan on eating all three?"

"Umm…did you want one?"

Hotch shook his head, trying and failing to not smile as he got into the SUV. As Reid got in, he didn't pick up his book or the case file once inside, so Hotch took a chance at talking to him. "Reid, I hope you understand why I don't want to start a relationship with you."

"Um, yeah. I guess so," Reid answered nervously, slumping into his seat.

"I care about you. It's just-"

"Relationships in the workplace are highly inappropriate, I know…I don't think anyone would really care though...no one said anything about Morgan and Emily."

"Because no one wants Prentiss mad at them."

Reid laughed a little, shaking his head. "You've got a point. She can be a little scary at times." He was smiling, but he was staring out of the window with a sad, 'not quite there' look on his face.

"What's on your mind?" Hotch asked gently, glancing at Reid, and then back at the road.

"Oh, just…thinking."

"That's a first." Reid let out a nervous, awkward laugh.

"I guess I was being a little vague."

"Is it about Shawn?" Hotch asked. Reid shifted, and shrugged, biting his lip.

"No."

"What's it about?"

"Um, you?" Reid answered, but his voice had a questioning tone to it, as if asking if it were okay. Hotch sighed, but kept his eyes on the road. He took a moment to think. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to simply admit to Reid how he felt.

Sounding defeated, Hotch answered in a quiet voice, "we'll talk more when we get back to Quantico, okay?" Reid smiled and his eyes lit up, and Hotch had a feeling he was going to be giving in to Reid more than he'd planned, judging by the way his stomach flipped with that bright expression directed at him.

"Okay," Reid said, nodding, his smile widening slightly. Hotch's phone rang, and he picked it up, flipping it open.

"Hotchner."

"Uh…sir?"

"Yes?" Hotch answered curtly. There was a pause, and then Garcia started talking.

"I looked up our little Brain-Muffin's ex…thirty-five year old Shawn Jay. Ex-military, worked for the FBI for two years, but in a different building. He quit, citing personal problems, fifteen months ago. Six months ago, he was charged for assault and battery…" Her voice trailed off.

"Is that all?" Hotch asked.

"Yes sir."

"Alright, thank you."

Hotch hung up abruptly, earning a curious look from Reid.

"Who was that?"

"Baltimore P.D."

Reid nodded, and thankfully, bought it, getting comfortable in his seat. "The Baltimore Police Departments Mounted Unit is the oldest, continuous unit of its kind," Reid offered, off-handedly.

***

By the time they'd talked out the profile for the Baltimore P.D., and actually made it there, Hotch was, to say the least, tired. It wasn't late, not yet past three, so they decided to go straight to the station, but Hotch found himself of little use, and he was glad he brought Reid. The young man noticed Hotch's exhaustion, and basically took over the consult, only stumbling over his words a couple times as he gave presented their profile to the cops. Afterwards, he answered all of the chief of police's questions, seeming more confident than Hotch had ever seen him. Maybe it was because, with the rest of the team gone, and Hotch keeping mostly quiet, he was, for the first time, in control. As Hotch talked to a detective, Reid drew a rough geographic profile for the P.D., while giving profiling tips for other cases they might have later on.

Once they finished up, it was getting late as they got into the SUV. Reid was idly sipping at a half-full Styrofoam cup of coffee from the police station, looking alarmingly wired as he tapped the fingers of his free hand against his thigh, bobbing his head to the music of the radio.

"I hope you don't mind staying in Baltimore for the night," Hotch said as he drove towards the hotel he'd set up, just in case they decided to stay. It was looking like staying would be the best idea, as Quantico was a good three hours or so away.

"No, I don't mind," Reid answered, turning to Hotch with a slight smile. They had already eaten while at the station, so he went straight to the hotel, pulling into the parking lot with a sense of relief. It had been a long day, and he was looking forward to a hot shower, and a soft bed. As he stood in the shower, his tired mind wandered, more so than he would allow it to while on the job. Unsurprisingly, the first thing to come to mind was Reid. Nothing explicit came to mind. When he closed his eyes, he could see him, smiling, a simple image. As he came out of the shower, retired from his suit and tie in favor of sweats and a tee-shirt, he was presented with that same image. Reid was curled up on his bed, wearing blue pajamas, his glasses, and an absent-minded smile, a book open in his lap. He looked up from his book, the smile on his face turning a little shy.

"Hi," Reid greeted, closing the book. Hotch smiled, sitting down on his own bed.

"What are you reading?"

"It's Rocketship Galileo, by Robert Heinlein. It was actually written for adolescents, but I never got around to reading it as a kid." His expression changed, turning thoughtful. "It's actually rather…" Reid paused, looking for a word, pursing his lips thoughtfully. "It's really stupid." Reid closed the book, and tossed it to the side.

Hotch smiled, it was rare Reid used a term like 'stupid'. Reid managed to get the covers out from under himself, and crawled under them, despite the fact he still looked wired. Hotch sighed in relief, too tired to talk any longer, and turned off the light, he set the alarm clock, and got into bed.

When Hotch woke up, he could think of no immediate reason for being awake. Groggily, he turned his head to the digital clock, the red numbers giving the time to be four in the morning, definitely too early to be up, and not the time he had set the alarm to. A soft murmur from the other side of the room revealed the reason for his sudden consciousness. Hotch had never been a light sleeper, always alert, even in his sleep as a child, for footsteps in the hallway. So the sound of Reid, whimpering softly, brought his attention to fullness immediately. Hotch got up and stumbled over to Reid's bed, and found the younger man curled up with his arms around his midsection, his face turned into his pillow. His breathing was harsh, but he only let out the occasional murmur or whimper as he slept.

"Reid?" Hotch called softly, leaning forward. When there was no response, Hotch leaned in closer, laying a hand on Reid's shoulder. "Spencer?" He called, a little louder. Reid stirred, groggily opening his eyes, and blinking as Hotch came into focus.

"Hotch?" Reid asked confusedly.

"Everything okay?" Hotch asked, smoothing Reid's hair away from his face. Reid nodded, the groggy, confused look still on his face.

"Yeah…Yeah, I'm okay. Why? What's happened?"

"I think you were having a nightmare."

"I don't remember it…sorry if I woke you up, I know you wake easily…sorry, you were tired, go back to sleep," Reid was sitting up, brushing a stray strand of hair from his forehead, absently touching the spot where Hotch's fingertips had skimmed across his skin. "I'll just, go for a walk." He sounded unsure, but stood up, stretching.

"Reid, wait, lay down." Reid paused, and then sat down, yawning. Hotch sat next to him, putting a hand on Reid's arm. "I wish you would talk to me." Reid looked up, his emotions more prominent than usual, drowsiness impairing his ability to hide them. With his mouth half-open, Reid stared at Hotch, before licking his lips, looking away.

"I'm talking to you right now…" Reid muttered, sounding a little confused.

"I mean about the nightmare," Hotch said, gently rubbing circles on Reid's back. Reid leaned into the gentle motion, closing his eyes.

"I don't remember it…" Reid yawned, and leaned closer, just a little, as if seeking more contact, but fearing that any sudden movements would scare Hotch away. "You're tired," he stated gently, opening his eyes. Hotch pulled him close, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, hoping the comfort would make him open up a little.

"This is the time I usually get up in the morning. I'm fine. I want to talk now." Reid's face lit up a little, and he unconsciously pressed against Hotch's side.

"I'm a little tired, but…I mean, if…"

"It can wait till you've had more sleep, if you want."

"No." Reid tensed slightly, putting arm around Hotch's waist, and laying his cheek against Hotch's shoulder. "No, I'm okay. We can talk now. I'm just not sure how this talk is supposed to go."

"I'm not really sure either," Hotch admitted.

"If we…were to start a….relationship…I mean, how would you want it to go?"

"Well, I think I'd have to take you out on a date, first, before anything else."

"You'd woo me?" Reid asked, laughter in his voice as he tried to hide the smile on his face by nuzzling Hotch's shoulder.

"Is there something wrong with that?" Hotch asked, his eyebrows going up.

"No, no, not at all…I think I'd like that," Reid whispered. "What kind of date?"

"Dinner, at my house."

"More personal than a restaurant."

"We've known each other long enough for that level of comfort, I think."

"Mm-hm. What else? Dinner, then what?" Reid sounded like he was drifting off to sleep. Hotch knew that he was screwed, he hadn't expected to start a relationship with Reid, but there was no going back now that he was planning their 'date' together. Somehow, he found himself not caring, even relieved that he was letting himself hold and talk to Reid like this, gently stroking his fingers through Reid's hair, talking softly.

"Dinner, then we'd watch a movie in the living room." Reid was smiling, relaxing more and more, his breathing deepening. Hotch gently eased him back onto the mattress, but Reid reached up, not grabbing, but gently laying his hand on Hotch's arm. Hotch hesitated, and then lowered himself down next to Reid.

"Movie?" Reid asked sleepily, rolling onto his side to cuddle with Hotch.

"Get some sleep, Spencer," Hotch answered, pulling the comforter around Reid's shoulder.

"You're sweet," Reid muttered, but then his breathing evened out as he fell asleep. Hotch continued to run his palm over Reid's hair, smoothing wayward strands from his face. As Hotch lay in the dark, Reid curled against him, he began to wonder if he could really be enough for Reid, and if he could find out the truth about Shawn Jay.

As Hotch woke up, he found himself alone in the bed, the sound of running water floating over from the bathroom, barely audible over the insistent screeching of the alarm clock. Shutting it off, Hotch stood, and stretched before getting dressed in his suit, tie and jacket. The shower in the bathroom shut off, and a couple minutes later, Reid emerged, buttoning the cuffs of his dress shirt, a yellow tie with red diamonds draped over his shoulder. He smiled at Hotch as he entered the room, but then looked down at the floor, wet strands of hair falling into his face.

"We should probably head back," Reid muttered, fussing with the button. Hotch nodded, grabbing his and Reid's bags. They walked out to the car, Reid silently avoiding eye contact with Hotch. As they got into the SUV, Hotch put the bags in the back, and got behind the wheel, glancing at Reid.

"Is everything okay? You seem a little quiet."

Reid looked up, his eyes wide. "Yeah…everything's okay."

"What's wrong?" Hotch asked as he backed out of the parking space. He expected Reid to say that nothing was wrong, to hide what was bugging him.

"Shawn called…"

***

Hotch almost ran into the curb, but hit the break before going too far back. Taking a moment to compose himself mental, Hotch put the SUV in drive and started out of the parking lot, keeping his tone neutral when he spoke.

"What did Shawn want?" Hotch noticed out of the corner of his eye that Reid had begun fidgeting in his seat, his eyes darting around anxiously. He didn't answer, choosing instead to chew on the edge of his sleeve, so Hotch tried again, in a more gentle, comforting voice. "Spencer, whatever it is, you can tell me. I'm only asking because a care about you."

"He wants to see me when I get back…to apologize."

"You seem uneasy about it."

"His methods for apologizing are unpredictable. If I don't go see him, he'll just show up at my apartment, so it would probably be better to just get it done and over with."

Hotch frowned, his brow furrowing. He chose his next words carefully. "If you think he might…cause some sort of trouble, I could go with you, just in case." Reid frowned, a slight pout forming on my face.

"I can take care of myself, Hotch…I'm just not really looking forward to seeing him."

"Then don't see him."

"I told you, if I don't, he'll just come to my apartment-"

"Spencer, I can get you a restraining order over the phone if you need one. You shouldn't have to see him if you don't want to. I don't want him anywhere near you if he makes you uncomfortable." Hotch stopped at a stop light, and glanced a Reid, who had his hand under his chin, looking contemplative.

"I guess…it couldn't hurt?" Reid looked up at Hotch, but then back down at his lap, shaking his head as the car started moving again. "No, no…I don't need one…I'll just talk to him."

"Spencer, you used the term 'unpredictable' to describe his 'methods for apologizing.'"

"I think I said that wrong."

"Maybe you should explain it to me."

"He seemed to think that sex was the best way to solve an argument." Even with his previous suspicious about the nature of Shawn's abuse towards Reid, Hotch's eyebrows flew up, his lips parting in surprise, but he managed to keep his eyes on the road.

"He didn't ever push you into anything?"

"No, of course not. It was always…consensual. It's just...I broke up with him, but he seems to think we're still together, that we're just fighting, but we're not."

"I wouldn't forgive myself if I let you go over there, and he hurts you," Hotch says firmly, his fingers tightening on the steering wheel.

"Hotch, he isn't going to hurt me. I'm just going to go over there and have a quick conversation."

"Spencer, he's a violent man. I wouldn't put it past him to-"

"What do you mean 'he's a violent man'? You don't even know him, you weren't even there when he was in the bullpen."

"I'm just worried about you. You didn't even know he had worked for the FBI, what else didn't he tell you about himself?"

"It'll be fine."

"At least let me come with you," Hotch insisted, his voice only slightly pleading. Reid sighed, shaking his head.

"No, it would be best if I just went alone."

"I don't want you to be alone with him."

"Nothing is going to happen."

"Spencer, you keep telling me that he never hurt you, and that he won't in the future, but the way you've described his behavior says otherwise."

Hotch heard a click as Reid swallowed. "Could we talk about this later?"

"Okay…what do you want for breakfast? We should probably get something before heading out of town."

"Coffee?"

"I'll get coffee, but you need to eat something too."

"Whatever you want then…"

Hotch sighed, getting a feeling that Reid was beginning to crawl into himself, that the drive back to Quantico would be long and quiet. He was right, after ordering food at a drive-in, Reid goes reticent, mostly just staring out of the window for the long drive. By the time they got back, it was four, and Hotch decided that it was a little late to go back to the office, so he drove Reid to his apartment, pulling up along the curb and getting out, opening the passenger door for Reid, who remained silent, getting his bag out of the back and heading up the steps. Hotch followed him up, ignoring the annoyed look Reid sent him over his shoulder.

"You don't have to follow me," Reid mumbled as he walked into the building, heading up a flight of stairs before turning down the hall, walking briskly. Hotch kept pace behind him, letting out a sigh.

"I know that. I just want to sort some things out."

Reid frowned as he took out his keys and opened the door. Hotch half expected him to slam the door in his face and lock it, but instead, Reid moved to the side, letting him in. "Like what?" Reid asked, following him in and flicking on the lights.

"Like why you would want a relationship with me."

Reid looked thoughtful, sitting down on the couch, his shoulders slumping. "It's not because I want to manipulate you in the office, if that's what you're wondering. I just…like you. I'm comfortable around you, I trust you. I hadn't really thought about it before, but I know you'd be a great…" Reid paused, blushing slightly. "You would just be great, I know you would. And if you're attracted to me…I'd be crazy not to want you." Reid sounded awkward, his voice quiet as he tumbled over his words, but he also sounded determined, and honest. Hotch swallowed hard, his chest tight as he sat next to Reid. His face felt hot, he'd never imagined Reid talking about him like that, never thought he deserved to have someone talk about him like that.

"It's not that you just need someone? I'll still be here for you, even if it's not in a romantic relationship."

"I know…I don't need anyone," Reid said, a hint of irritation in his tone. When he spoke again though, his expression relaxed, and his voice calmed. "I'm not going to use you to get over my break-up. I wouldn't ever do that." Reid paused, leaning closer, turning towards Hotch. "So, will you be my boyfriend?" Reid asked, his voice neutral, and Hotch knew it was just because of the fear of rejection.

"If you promise not to keep things from me."

"You're talking about Shawn." Reid sounded defeated, and Hotch couldn't help but feel guilty.

"I'm not just talking about Shawn. When you're ready, I do want to talk about him, but not until you're ready. But I also want you to tell me if you're ever unhappy with me, for whatever reason."

"Okay."

"You promise?"

"Yeah. Do you need a signed copy of the promise?" Reid asked, joking lightly. Hotch sighed, shaking his head.

"No. Are you sure you want this with me?"

"Why don't you kiss me and then try asking me that again."

Hotch's chest seized up, and it took him a moment to react. When he did, he put an arm around Reid's waist, drawing him just close enough, and then put a hand in his hair, gently carding his fingers through the strands as he brought his lips to Reid's. It was almost a surprise, the way Reid kissed. He brought both hands to Hotch's face, immediately deepening the kiss. Reid tasted wonderfully masculine, the rough stubble on his lip just as exciting as the almost brutal way he pushed his lips to Hotch's, tilting his head to the side, and inviting Hotch's tongue into his mouth. When one of them groaned, (Hotch wasn't sure if it had been Reid or himself) Hotch gently pushed at Reid's shoulders, and ended the kiss, panting, and pressing gentle, chaste kisses to the sides of Reid's lips.

"You sure?" Hotch murmured, brushing his thumb over Reid's bottom lip.

"Very," Reid answered, his body relaxing against Hotch's as he rested his forehead against Hotch's shoulder. The kiss had been urgent, and needy, but he now seemed content to simply cuddle against Hotch. It wasn't scary, like Hotch had thought it would be. Instead, it was sweet, the way he rested his lanky body peacefully against Hotch's, as if he were ready to simply take a nap that way. Hotch suddenly realized that he was smiling, and put an arm around Reid, turning his head to kiss Reid's forehead. In that moment, Hotch let himself relax, forgetting about his troubles. He didn't think about his ex-wife, the feelings of inadequacy she inspired; he didn't think about the rules he was breaking; he didn't think about Shawn. All he thought about was the happy, peaceful expression Reid wore, his eyes closed, the corners of his lips turned upward slightly. He wasn't surprised when Reid's expression relaxed even further, his breath even out as he fell asleep. Even though it was the middle of the day, and his arm was falling asleep, Hotch relaxed, and let Reid sleep.

***

Hotch woke up pleasantly warm and comfortable, despite the dead weight that rested on his body. Slowly opening his eyes, he glanced around, and found himself in Reid's apartment. A glance at a clock on the wall revealed the time to be just past eight. And that weight on his body was Spencer Reid. Hotch was lying mostly on his back, with Reid on top of him, draped over him. With some effort, Hotch managed to get out from under Reid without waking the young man. Hotch grabbed a blanket from the foot of the couch, putting it over Reid, smoothing it down over his shoulders affectionately, running his hand down Reid's back. His fingertips hovered over the fabric that covered the small of Reid's back before he pulled away, going into the little kitchen.

The coffee was already out, so Hotch didn't have to search the cupboards to find it. He put on a pot, and then looked around. Reid didn't have any notes, or papers in the kitchen, which wasn't surprising. He could remember addresses and phone numbers effortlessly, so there was no need for notes. As the pot finished brewing, a sleepy-eyed Reid came into the kitchen, eyes glued to the coffee pot with single-minded purpose.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." Reid jumped, as if he had just noticed him. He rubbed his eyes, shaking his head.

"No, it's okay. It is too early to be asleep anyway, and I probably shouldn't sleep on the couch." Reid grabbed two mugs out of the cupboard, and filled them with coffee, taking the sugar off of the counter, and dumping a generous portion into his cup. He took a couple drinks, leaning against the counter, while shyly watching Hotch over the rim of the cup. He glanced down at his coffee, a small smile tugging at his lips while his eyebrows knitted together in amused confusion. "I'd ask you to stay the night, but it feels like it's too soon for that."

Hotch didn't even have to take a moment to think about it to come to a decision. "I'll stay, if you want." Reid blinked, and looked up, shock and confusion written on his face, and Hotch swallowed, taking a drink of coffee, trying to appear calm. "I'll just sleep on the couch, but I want to stay." Reid's expression was torn between hopeful, and suspicious, and he put his coffee down, frowning slightly.

"Why?" Reid looked so insecure, Hotch had to look away briefly, taking a deep breath.

"Because I want to be here, for you, if you need me."

It took a moment, but eventually the emotions in Reid's eyes shifted over, his lips parting slightly. He looked away, biting his lip before swallowing. "It would be…nice, if you stayed. You know you don't have to sleep on the couch. The bed's big, and I don't move around much when I sleep."

Hotch repressed a smile, knowing Reid just wanted the company, that there was no innuendo in his offer to share the bed. He'd already slept next to Reid once, and he had just gotten up from a nap he took sleeping under Reid, but he wasn't sure he was ready for sleeping in Reid's bed. "I appreciate the offer, but I think it would be best if I stayed in the living room." Reid tilted his head, looking a little put out, so Hotch added, "I'll be here when you wake up."

A shy smile pushed at Reid's lips, and he looked at the ground, pushing his hair behind his ears. "Promise?" he asked, glancing up at Hotch, his lips curling even more at the corners. Hotch walked over to him, and put one hand on his waist, the other around his shoulders, and pressed his forehead to Reid's, closing his eyes.

"I promise."

Reid's eyes fluttered shut, and he brought his hands up, sliding them to the back of Hotch's neck. "Thank you," Reid muttered, swaying slightly in Hotch's embrace. They stood that way for a couple more minutes, before Hotch pulled away.

"I have to go get my bag out of the car."

Reid nodded, reluctantly letting go of Hotch. "Hm, okay. I'll get some sheets and pillows for the couch." Reid pecked Hotch on the cheek, and then turned and went down the little hallway, disappearing into the unlit area. Hotch turned around and walked out of the apartment. As he made it to the door leading outside, the door opened. The man on the other side held the door for him, and Hotch walked out, muttering a thank you. He paused, standing in the cool evening air for a moment before walking to the SUV. He grabbed his bag and then immediately headed back into the building.

As he walked onto Reid's floor, the faint sound of raised voices floated down the hallway, getting louder as he got closer. Hotch walked faster, dropping his bag in the hallway, and as soon as he made it to Reid's door, he grabbed the handle, and flung the door open. He felt his chest become unpleasantly tight, and the next few seconds seemed to last forever.

Hotch assumed the stranger, who had held the door open for him, was Shawn. Shawn was mostly turned away from him, standing in front of Reid, who had his back pressed into a corner, staring at Shawn with eyes the size of dinner plates. Shawn was yelling, and for a moment, Hotch was frozen, the words not even registering in his brain. However, when Shawn slammed his fist into the wall next to Reid's face, Hotch reacted immediately, crossing the room in record time. Shawn was well built, and with his military and FBI training, he could probably beat Hotch in a fight, nine times out of ten, but he was caught off guard as Hotch yanked both of his arms behind his back, slamming him into the wall next to Reid. Shawn grunted as his body hit the wall, and struggled. Hotch didn't have his cuffs, but he managed to keep Shawn's arms behind his back.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!" Hotch tried, and failed to keep his voice under control. Shawn tried to worm free of Hotch's grip again, and Hotch responded by pushing his arms further up his back. Shawn stopped struggling, taking in a slow, deep breath.

"Just let me go and we can talk this out, okay? You're hurting my arm."

Shawn seemed calm, so Hotch let him go. Shawn turned slowly, holding his hands up, but Hotch soon regretted letting him go as a solid fist made contact with the side of his face. He stumbled backwards, tripping as pain temporarily overrode his thoughts. He stood back up, forcing himself to focus, just in time to see Shawn pulling Reid up by both of his shoulders, blood on Reid's lips and chin.

"Baby, I'm sorry, but you can't do that, you just can't…" Shawn whispered, trying to pull Reid into an embrace. Reid pushed him away, and tried to step back, but made contact with the wall just as Shawn grabbed his arm, yanking him forward. Hotch took a step forward, but Reid reacted first, kneeing Shawn in the groin, which instantly led to his arm being released. Reid then darted to the tea table a couple of feet away, and grabbed his gun from the holster where it sat, pointing it at Shawn, who stared at him, disbelief and pain written on his face as he tried to stand up straight.

"Get out," Reid ordered, coldly, swallowing past a lump in his throat.

"You little slut…" Shawn muttered through gritted teeth. Reid clicked off the safety on his gun.

"Get out," Reid repeated, more firmly. "And…if I see you again, I'm calling the cops."

Shawn's gaze darted around, but he reluctantly turned and left. As the door clicked shut, Reid's shoulders sagged in relief, and he clicked the safety back on, setting the gun down, before turning to Hotch, breathing heavily, looking shocked and terrified. Hotch approached Reid slowly, the pain in his head fading and leaving his mind clear.

"I'm…I'm so sorry," he began, but Hotch shook his head, framing Reid's face with his hands, his heart pounding.

"Are you okay?" Hotch asked softly, doing his best to remain calms. Reid stared at him, incredulous.

"Yeah…I'm okay…we should probably get you to a doctor, and have you checked…you might have a concussion."

"No, I'm fine, it doesn't even hurt any more, here sit down," Hotch said, guiding Reid to sit on the couch, when he moved to leave, Reid grabbed his hands, pulling him down next to him.

"I'm serious, Hotch! You could have a concussion. Do you feel dizzy or have muscle weakness?" Reid began, tilting Hotch's face towards the light, checking his eyes.

"No, I'm really fine." Hotch stood, despite the way Reid tugged at his sleeve to get him to sit back down, staring up at him with terrified eyes. Hotch pulled away from Reid, and went to the kitchen, grabbing a washcloth, and getting it wet, before sitting back down next to Reid, gently dabbing at the corner of Reid's mouth. Reid flinched slightly, but then relaxed, closing his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Hotch…I really messed up. I lied to you, and you got hurt because of me." Reid's voice was quiet, and harsh, and once he finished, he swallowed hard, letting out a shaky breath.

"It's okay, Spencer. We can talk about this later."

Reid opened his eyes, which shone abnormally bright. "You going to stay out on the couch?"

"Yes," Hotch answered, finishing cleaning the blood from Reid's lip.

"Could I stay on the couch with you?"

Hotch shook his head, and put the washcloth down on the tea-table, and then stood up, gently guiding Reid to his feet. He wrapped his arms around the thin frame, pressing his cheek against Reid's hair. "I'll lock up, you go ahead and go to bed."

"I don't want to be alone...Aaron, please…"

"You won't be," Hotch whispered, kissing Reid's forehead. Hotch's heart was hammering in his chest, his thoughts still revolving around what had just happened. "I'll see you in a minute."

Reid nodded, pulling back and staring at the floor before getting up and heading into the bedroom. Hotch locked the front door, and put on the chain, before going down the short hall into the little bedroom. Reid was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at his hands in his lap.

"I'm sorry…" he whispered, looking up as Hotch sat next to him. He still looked terrified, which was the last thing Hotch wanted. He wanted to comfort Reid, and make him feel safe. He felt his heart break at the insecurity and terror in Reid's eyes.

"It's not your fault, you didn't do anything wrong…I still love you. I do want some answers, but we can talk about this tomorrow, after work. Right now, you need some sleep."

Reid hesitated, but then nodded. "You'll stay?" he asked, nervously. Hotch nodded, and guided Reid to lay down, following him as the both lay facing each other. Reid curled up against him, and Hotch could detect the stress in his body. He stroked Reid's hair and waited until Reid had relaxed further to speak, gently whispering into Reid's ear.

"Don't worry, I won't leave, I'll be here when you wake up. Just try to get some sleep, and we'll talk about this later."

***

Next part of Out In the Open.