Title: The Lonely Times
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Spencer Reid
Fandom: CSI: Las Vegas/Criminal Minds
Rating: PG-13
Table: Emotions, mission_insane
Prompt: 10, Lonely
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Spencer Reid, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Greg closed his eyes, feeling happier than he had in a while. Spencer was here, and he was in his boyfriend's arms. The loneliness that he'd been feeling for the last couple of weeks had been swept away, forgotten for the moment in the joy of being with Spencer.

But it wouldn't last forever, and he knew it. Spencer would have to leave all too soon, go back to his job with the BAU and be away for another week .... or two .... or more. Fortunately, it was rarely more than a couple of weeks, but even that felt like too long for them to be apart.

Greg resolutely pushed those thoughts of his mind, locking them away. He didn't want to think like that, not when Spencer was here with him. He wanted to enjoy every moment they had together, not fret about when Spencer would have to leave again.

If this was all they could have for the moment, then he would take that, and be happy with it. It was enough to know that Spencer loved him, and that they could be together in spirit, even if not always in body. Besides, there would come a time when things would change.

They wouldn't always have to be apart. At some point, they would be able to make the decision to move in together -- it just might not come as quickly as he wished it would. And for now, just having any relationship with Spencer at all was good enough for him.

Though that still didn't stop the loneliness from feeling as though it was overpowering him when Spencer was gone, he thought with a soft sigh. He was already dreading the day when his boyfriend would have to leave, and he would be alone again for a while.

"You seem like you're lost in thought," Spencer said soft, raising a hand to push Greg's hair back from his forehead. He'd let it get longer lately; Spencer had told Greg firmly that he needed to let his hair grow out, and he'd complied with his boyfriend's request.

"I guess I'm just worried about you leaving again," Greg admitted with a soft sigh. "I know I shouldn't be thinking about that while you're here, but I can't help it. It's like this black cloud hanging over my head all the time." He bit his lip, wishing that he hadn't been so candid.

The last thing he wanted to do was to make Spencer feel guilty about having a job that took him away from Greg so much of the time. Spencer already dealt with a lot of stress due to that job; he didn't need the person he was involved with piling more stress on him.

"I know it's hard not to think of that," Spencer said softly, running his fingers through Greg's hair. "I think about it, too. But for right now, we don't have any other choice, Greg. I don't want to leave the BAU, and I know you don't want to leave the Vegas crime lab."

"I guess I could work in the DC crime lab, if it came down to one of us having to move," Greg murmured, his teeth worrying at his lower lip again. "But you're right -- I don't want to leave here. This is the best crime lab in the country. And I'm comfortable here."

"I like knowing that you're here, that you're close to my mom," Spencer said softly. "I know it's hard, not being able to be with each other all the time, but we'll make this work. We're already making it work. If we can do this, then we can do anything."

Greg nodded, managing a smile. Spencer was right; being apart so much might be hard for them to deal with, but at the moment, they really had no choice in the matter. And in some ways, maybe it was a good thing that he he was here in Vegas.

After all, he was close to Spencer's mother, in case she needed anything. He could be there for her when Spencer couldn't, if there was ever a point where she needed that kind of care. It was such a little thing to be able to do for the man he loved.

But there was still the loneliness to stave off -- a loneliness that seemed to permeate his very bones when his bofyriend wasn't here. It sank into him, became a part of him, to the point where there were times when he thought that he would always feel that ache of loneliness.

Then Spencer would be here, and the loneliness would disappear as though it had never existed -- for a while. Then the feeling would start to come back, slowly, in the first few days after Spencer had left. It always came back. It never went away permanently.

All he could do was try to fight back that loneliness, and hold on to the fact that Spencer would always come back to him. No matter how long he had to be gone, he would always come home -- and that fact would just have to keep him going through the lonely times.

"I'll always come back here to you, y'know," Spencer whispered, echoing Greg's thoughts. "I know it's hard on you when I'm away -- it's hard on me, too. I always miss you so much, Greg. And I worry about you. I worry that ...." His voice trailed off, and he swallowed hard before he spoke again.

"I worry that Foyet will show up again," he continued, his voice flat. "I worry that he might try to finish what he started, and that you're not protected enough. I worry that I can't always be here with you, and that we can't seem to find Foyet and put him behind bars where he belongs."

"I don't think he's going to come back for me," Greg told him, lifting his head to look into his boyfriend's eyes. "I honestly think he's done with me, Spencer. I think your team needs to look closer to home. He's already gone after you through me. One of your other team members is next."

Spencer nodded slowly, releasing a breath that Greg hadn't known he was holding. "I guess you're right, but it's for me not to worry about you. I wish I could be here all the time, Greg. But right now, it's not possible. I'm looking forward to the day when it will be."

"So am I," Greg said softly, echoing Spencer's sigh with his own. "I worry about you, too. I know that you're putting your life in danger on a lot of the cases you work on, and that scares me. But it's what you love doing, and I"m not going to hold you back from it."

"We'll just have to deal with being lonely when we're apart -- but we'll always come back to each other," Spencer said, a soft smile curving his lips. "And you know something? I've always read that spending time apart just makes being together that much better."

"'Absence makes the heart grow fonder,'" Greg quoted with a smile. "Yeah, I guess we're finding that out now, aren't we? I think it's true. We appreciate each other more when we're together, because we know that time is going to be brief."

"I know we're lonely when we can't be together, but we've always got something to look forward to," Spencer told him, his voice firm and strong. "The lonely times don't last forever, Greg, even if they feel like they do. We always have each other, even when we're apart. You know that."

Greg nodded, firmly pushing any thoughts of loneliness into the back of his mind and slamming a door on them. He didn't want to think about being lonely, not while Spencer was here. His boyfriend was right; those lonely times never lasted forever.

Besides, he didn't need to think about being lonely, not while he was here in Spencer's arms and they were together. He didn't want to waste a moment of their time together; he wanted to revel in it, to wring out every last drop of joy from being with Spencer that he possibly could.

He wasn't lonely now, and that was the most important thing. Greg smiled contentedly, burrowing into his boyfriend's embrace. He would enjoy every second that he had with Spencer, and when they weren't, he would look forward to the future -- and get through the lonely times as best he could.

***