Title: Vision of the Future
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Will LaMontagne/Ethan Delacroix
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: PG-13
Table: writers_choice
Prompt: #477, Vision
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Will LaMontagne or Ethan Delacroix, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Will sighed as he stared down at the file open on his desk, then looked up at the clock on the wall of his office. He didn't want to be here right now; he wanted to be at home with Ethan, rather than working on a new case that wasn't holding his attention.

He had to come to work every day, regardless of the fact that he didn't want to. He had to earn a living, just as Ethan did. But somehow, it seemed like a lot more fun to play piano in a jazz club than to see dead bodies every day and try to catch criminals.

He didn't want to spend his life like this, working every day when he would rather be with Ethan. Maybe one day, the two of them would be able to afford to retire, to live in peace and quiet, and not have to spend so much time away from each other.

Will almost laughed at the thought, shaking his head ruefully. When was he going to be able to retire? He'd be in his sixties before he could mange to do that; he'd be an old man before he had the majority of his time to himself, to spend as he wanted to.

But by then, he would also have been with Ethan for decades, he thought, a soft smile curving his lips. He had no doubt that he'd found the person he was meant to spend his life with; he had never felt this way about anyone before, and he knew that he never would again.

It might seem sappy and romantic to some people, but he was convinced that Ethan was his soul mate, his dream come true, the other half of his heart. He might not say those words out loud to anyone but Ethan, but then, no one else needed to hear them.

Will had to fight the urge to jump out of his desk chair, run out of the office, and head home to Ethan, work be damned. He didn't want to spend his day sitting here, filling out reports and trying to concentrate on the case load he had. He wanted to be with the man he loved.

Reluctantly, he pushed the thought of rushing home to make love to his boyfriend for the rest of the afternoon out of his mind. They both had responsibilities that they couldn't shirk; Ethan would have to get ready to head for work within the next couple of hours, before Will would get home.

After work, he himself would head out to the bar that Ethan was playing at tonight, have a few drinks and enjoy the music that his talented boyfriend provided. Not too many drinks, though -- he didn't want to be too drunk to make love to Ethan when they were finally at home alone.

If only the clock would go faster! He kept looking up at it every few minutes, rather than focusing all of his attention on the file in front of him. Nearly half an hour had gone by now, and all he'd done was think of Ethan. He couldn't remember a single word he'd read.

Ever since he and Ethan had become a couple, it had been harder and harder for him to concentrate on his job. He had to have more willpower than that, Will told himself firmly. If he kept on like this, he might not even have a job for too much longer.

He was still getting things done; he didn't always focus on his boyfriend. When he was on a case, out interviewing people and pursuing suspects, he was entirely focused on what he was doing. But on days like this, when he was just sitting at his desk writing reports, his mind wandered.

Maybe he just needed a vacation, he told himself, sighing softly as he looked up at the clock again and saw that it was only two minutes past the last time he'd glanced at it. He and Ethan needed to be able to take some time off, go to some romantic, remote location ....

He pushed that thought out of his mind, too. That wasn't going to happen for a long time; he didn't have any vacation time coming for another few months, and he had no idea when Ethan would be able to take some time off from working. That was still a big question mark.

For all he knew, the time that they had off for a vacation wouldn't even sync up -- but that was something they could work around if they tried, he was sure. It was something to think about, and plan for. It would have to be part of their vision for their future together.

Just thinking about having a future with Ethan made him smile; he could imagine the two of them being old and grey, living in a nursing home -- but still being together, and still just as much in love as they were now. Will was sure that they'd be even more in love.

He had a vision for his future with Ethan, one that he hoped would end up coming true. It was hazy at best, but Will knew that he could add more to that vision as time went on, as the two of them knew each other better and grew more accustomed to each other's personal rhythms.

He could imagine the two of them ten years from now -- he would still be on the police force, though he'd have risen in rank, and Ethan would still be playing piano, but he would be a composer in his own right. The two of them would be happier together than he could ever have dreamed of being.

And twenty years from now, Will imagined that they would be much the same -- older, each of them sporting a few more wrinkles and probably less hair, but still as much in love as they were now. That was something that he couldn't ever see changing, no matter how long they were together.

He could only see himself loving Ethan more as each year went by -- he already loved his boyfriend more with each passing day, so that wasn't hard to imagine. Will leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes and letting his imagination take flight, thinking about their future.

His vision for the future might change in some ways, but there would always one constant -- he would always be with Ethan, and they would always be in love. He couldn't see that changing, not if they lived to be a hundred years old, or even longer.

Life without Ethan would be no life at all. Maybe he could have lived fairly happily without the two of them ever meeting or knowing each other, but if that had happened, he wouldn't have known what he was missing. Now, he knew all too well what he would lose if they parted.

He would lose the love of his life, the only person he'd ever completely given his heart to. And that would be a loss that he couldn't deal with, a loss that would destroy him. He didn't even want to think about losing Ethan; that wasn't an option for him, in any way.

That vision of the future was going to remain strong, Will told himself firmly. It might still be a cloudy dream, but Will had no doubt that the dream would solidify and become fixed in his mind's eye the longer that he and Ethan were together. That dream wasn't going to die.

What would he have done if he'd never met Ethan? Will mused, leaning back in his chair. That didn't really bear thinking about; after all, he had met his boyfriend, and they were together. But what would his life -- and his future -- be like if that had never happened?

He supposed that he would still be on the police force; that had been his life's dream ever since he'd been a child. He hadn't really had a significant other in his dreams in those days; it seemed to be enough to be a cop, to follow in his father's footsteps.

But now that he was an adult, his work wasn't enough. He had wanted a special person in his life for a long time, but no one he'd met had ever seemed to be the right one. Until he'd first spoken to Ethan and looked into his eyes -- and had tumbled head over heels into love.

Life without Ethan would probably have gone on just the same as it had in the past -- with that unfulfilled longing for something more, for someone to love, someone to go home to at night, someone to hold in his arms and in his heart for the rest of his life.

That wasn't a life that he would ever have to contemplate now, he thought with a smile. Now that he had found the man of his dreams, the man he wanted to spend all of his life with, he would never have to deal with the loneliness that had been a part of his life before Ethan. It was gone for good.

That loneliness had been a part of his life for so long that he hadn't thought he would ever be able to shake it off, lock it away into the past. But now that he had, he couldn't be happier. His vision of the future was much different now -- and it had a much happier ending.

Will glanced up at the clock again, relieved to see that it was now only five minutes before time for him to go home for the day. He would be here again tomorrow, probably doing the same thing -- but at least then, he would hopefully be able to better concentrate on his job.

He stood up, closing the file folder on his desk and reaching for his jacket. He couldn't wait to get home to Ethan; his vision of the future might be hazy, but he knew exactly what he had planned for tonight, and he was eager to get their evening together started.

***