Title: Who We Are
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Spencer Reid
Fandom: Doctor Who/Criminal Minds
Rating: PG
Table: 100_tales
Prompt: 83, Questions
Author's Note: Continuation of Thunderstruck.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Spencer Reid, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor looked around him at the people walking through the park; it had been a while since he'd done something like this. But, he told himself with an inward smile, he hadn't had anyone to keep him company until now.

Spencer sat down on the grass beside him, leaning back and propping himself up on his elbows. The Doctor had a hard time keeping his eyes off the slender body stretched out next to him; he had to force himself to concentrate on Spencer's face.

He copied the other man's position, stretching his lean body out on the grass and gazing at the lake in the center of the park. For some reason, he didn't seem to be able to think of anything to say, which was odd, as conversation had flowed easily between them up to this point.

"You haven't told me a whole lot about yourself," Spencer said, glancing over at him. "Just places you've been, things you've seen. But not about you personally."

Oh dear. He should have known that a question like that was coming soon. Spencer wasn't the sort of man who'd be put off with vague descriptions, things that weren't really a part of him personally. He'd have to think of something that sounded plausible.

But he couldn't think of anything; it was as though his brain had decided to pack up and take a long holiday, just when he needed it to function at its sharpest. If only he didn't feel such an urgent attraction to Spencer, his brain would be working smoothly.

If Spencer had questions, he'd have to answer them as best he could, without making this young man think that he was a raving lunatic. But he rather doubted his ability to do that; he was fairly good at dissembling, but he didn't like lying to Spencer.

The Doctor sighed, looking down at the emerald green carpet of grass that they were lying on. "I don't think there's much to tell," he said, hoping that would mollify Spencer but know that it wouldn't. "I don't lead a very interesting life."

"Oh, come on. Everybody's life is interesting. Every person is different," Spencer pointed out with a smile. "Just because you don't think your life is interesting, that doesn't mean that somebody else won't. What you think is an everyday boring life could be awesome to another person."

"Is that how you think about your life?" the Doctor countered, hoping that he could distract Spencer from his questions. "That being a profiler is mundane?"

Spencer shook his head, a wry smile crossing his features. "Hell no. The last thing I could say about my life is that it's boring. I've .... been through some things that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. What I do never gets boring."

Those words caught the Doctor's attention; it was as though Spencer was hiding something just under the surface of his placid calm. He wanted to question the young man about what he meant, but that would only lead to Spencer countering with more questions of his own.

"It sounds like you might have had a very interesting life yourself," he said softly, wondering what it was that Spencer could be hiding. Given what he did for a living, he'd probably had more than a few hair-raising experiences.

Spencer shrugged, looking uncomfortable. "Yeah, you could say that," he murmured, not meeting the Doctor's gaze. The way that the young man was avoiding his eyes told the Time Lord that Spencer did indeed have incidents in his life that he'd rather not talk about.

He wasn't going to push anyone into talking about something they weren't comfortable with; that would come later, when Spencer knew him better and felt more at ease with talking to him. The Doctor hoped that time would come fairly soon.

"So we both have experiences in our pasts that we don't want to discuss," he said, his eyes not leaving Spencer's face. "We should both respect that."

Spencer nodded, sighing softly and finally looking at the Doctor. "It's just that I think you're the most fascinating man I've ever met. I don't know why, but I feel like something's drawing me to you. And I want to know as much about you as I possibly can."

The Doctor laughed, hoping that he could hide his uneasiness from Spencer. "That's where you'd be wrong," he said, shaking his head. "There's nothing fascinating about me. I'm just .... who I am," he finished lamely, groping for words.

"We're all who we are," Spencer countered, laughing as he spoke. "And that just might be the stupidest thing I've ever said. I'm trying to impress you with my intelligence, and I end up making these idiotic remarks that'll just make you think I don't know what I'm talking about."

"On the contrary," the Doctor said softly, reaching for Spencer's hand. "I don't think you're idiotic at all. And what you just said has a lot of meaning in it. None of us can change who we are. We have to work with what we're given."

Spencer looked doubtful for a moment, but then his expression changed. The Doctor couldn't quite read what he saw in the young man's face, but at least he didn't look annoyed by the way the Time Lord was avoiding any direct answers to his questions.

"Some of us weren't given that much to work with," he said softly, looking up at the sky. "People might look like they have it all, but things aren't always what they seem."

"I know that better than most people," the Doctor told him, wishing he could take the words back the moment they were out of his mouth. He'd known that he was going to do that -- say more than he'd intended to, and arouse Spencer's curiosity about him even more.

But the young man didn't seem to notice; he was caught up in his own musings, apparently. The Doctor breathed a sigh of relief, then turned his own thoughts to what Spencer had said. After a while, he ventured a question of his own.

"It seems that you've got a lot on your mind," he said, his words hesitant, searching for the right thing to say. "I'm not going to pry, Spencer, if that's what you're worried about. I'll respect your privacy -- but I'd like you to respect mine as well."

"It's hard for me to not ask questions about people," Spencer told him, turning his head to look at the Doctor. "It's part of my job to ask questions, you know. And I .... I've leaned the hard way that people aren't always what they seem on the outside."

"I can assure you that you've got nothing to fear from me," the Doctor answered, reaching for the young man's hand and grasping it in his own. "I may not want to tell you everything about msyelf at once -- but I'm not someone you have to be wary of. I can promise you that."

Spencer looked down at their entwined hands, then back up at the Time Lord, finally nodding and taking a deep breath before he spoke.

"I guess I'm just too used to not being able to trust people. Sometimes I let my work bleed over into who I am when I'm not working, and that's not a good thing." He sighed, shrugging his shoulders in a somewhat philosophical gesture. "No more questions, I promise."

"I wouldn't keep anything from you that I thought you should know," the Doctor murmured, his fingers tightening on Spencer's. That wasn't entirely true -- but he couldn't tell this young man just who and what he was. Not yet. This wasn't the time or the place.

"Come on." Spencer let go of the Doctor's hand, getting to his feet and brushing bits of grass off his jeans as he held out a hand to the Time Lord. "Let's go someplace more private. My apartment, if you feel comfortable going there."

The Doctor rose to his feet, nodding and taking Spencer's hand again. He had no idea if the young man would ask more questions, but if he did, hopefully he could come up with answers that would satisfy Spencer -- without giving too much away that he knew he couldn't reveal.

Where was this going? he thought as they walked out of the park together, hand in hand. He had no way of knowing what would happen, but something told him that Spencer Reid was going to be a major player on the stage of his life.

He was definitely looking forward to seeing how the next act would unfold.

***

Next story in series - Runaway.