Title: And Baby Would Have Made Three
Author: Jaxson K.
Disclaimer: "I own nothing, just visiting friends..."
Summary: mpreg, angst, tears
Notes: This one was kinda hard to write. It deals with some very sad subject matter, plus a very disturbing Adam.

Don knew something was wrong with Adam, but he wasn't sure just what exactly.

Adam had been moody and sullen of late, and Don had given up trying to find out why. Every time he tried to get Adam to open up and talk about what was on his mind, it always ended with raised voices, slammed doors, and more silence.

Don loved Adam deeply, but the way he was acting was really getting to Don. It was to the point that Don was ready to scream. Adam had been moody before, but never like this. Earlier in the day, Danny called Don to let him know that Stella had sent Adam home sick. Danny said that he didn't know for sure, but it might be a stomach bug because Adam had barfed all over the lab. Don thanked Danny and tried to call Adam's cell only to get Adam's voicemail.

When he got home, the apartment was very quiet. Don called out Adam's name, but got no response. He put his things away and changed into a t-shirt and shorts to start dinner. Shortly before dinner was ready, Don heard the familiar sound of Adam's key in the door. Adam came into the kitchen, tears streaming down his face, and sat down at the table.

"Baby, why are you crying?"

"Don, I've got a lot on my mind, and I need some help trying to figure it all out. Will you please help me?"

"Anything for you, babe. What seems to be the problem?"

"First of all, I know I've been a real dick towards you, and I know I've put you thru Hell. I want you to know I am very sorry about that."

"Adam, I accept your apology, and I want you to know that I'm here for you."

"That's good to know especially after you hear what I've got to say. Do you remember a conversation we had right before we got together when I told you about my unique medical condition?"


"Well, I went to the doctor this afternoon, and I found out that I'm 2 months pregnant!"

Don sat waiting for the punchline, and when one was not forthcoming, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. When he looked at Adam, he could see the fear of rejection and the uncertainty on his face.

"So have you decided what you want to do?"

"Yes, Don, I want to keep the baby."

"Well, that settles it! We're gonna have a baby!!!"

"Don, are you sure? You don't have to stick around. I can do this on my own, you know."

"Adam, I've never been more sure of anything. I want you, I want the baby, and I'd be a damn fool to walk away now."

Don was really excited at the thought of Adam having his baby. They talked long into the night about all sorts of things like getting a bigger place, names for the baby, just all sorts of things. Don's excitement helped ease some of Adam's doubts. The next day, Don came by the lab to check on Adam and to ask him what he thought about telling everybody at one time. Adam said it would makes things easier so they agreed to have everyone meet them at Kelly's Bar after work.

Once everyone had been assembled, Don stood up and said that he and Adam had an announcement to make. Adam stood next t him and shyly told everyone that he and Don were ecpecting a baby. After a heart-stopping moment of dead silence, Danny and Mac proposed a toast to the happy couple. After answering endless questions about how, when,and what made it possible,Don thanked everyone for coming and showing support. He then told everyone that Adam needed to go home and get some rest.

The next day, Danny came by Adam's lab and asked him to have lunch. Adam agreed and they made arrangements to meet at a diner around the corner from the lab. As they waited for their food, Danny had a million questions.

"Does it feel weird?"

"Kinda...I'm really not used to it yet."

"What does Donnie really think? Is he as happy as he seems?'

"Don is thrilled, and I think he's happier than he seems."

"Adam, I want you to know that I am very happy for you and Donnie, but I have to admit I'm a bit envious."

"Really? Why would you be envious?"

"Are you kiding me? I'd give anything to have a kid with Mac!"

"Well, Danny, there's always adoption."

"It's not quite the same."

THe two men finished their meal and made their way back to the lab. When Don picked Adam up from work that evening, Adam was in very good spirits and it showed. He was all smiles and loving and very happy.

Don ordered in that night, and they had a quiet dinner at home just enjoying each other's company. They made love that night even though Don was afraid of hurting the baby. Adam had to assure him that it was still okay. Things progressed in the normal fashion with Don attending Adam's appointments with Dr. Price. Insted of a traditional baby shower, Adam  invited their friends to oune of his and Don's favorite bistros, and everyone brought a gift to the dinner.

Around the beginning of the seventh month, Adam began to have some problems. At first there were cramps, and then there was that frantic trip to the ER in the middle of the night when Adam found blood drops on the sheets. After this, Dr. Price had to take Adam off from work because she felt he was doing too much. Mac filed the paperwork for Adam's leave and told Adam to follow his doctor's orders. Don got on his case about over-doing it, too. At first, doing nothing was nice, but it got to Adam after a while. Don made up for it as much as he could by coming home early, or taking Adam to his favorites restaurants, and even surprising him by taking him to "their" spot in Strawberry Fields.

One afternoon Adam was looking for something in the top part of the closet in the bedroom. He was standing on a chair while reaching for a box when the world tilted at a crazy angle as the chair gave way beneath him. The last thing Adam thought of as he passed out was the baby. Don was having a very shitty day. There had been some questions regarding a couple of old cases, and he had spent most of the day tracking down paperwork, trying to get in touch with witnessess, and generally just spinning his wheels. By the time he arrived home, it was dark and his mood hadn't improved much. As he went in, he called out to Adam, but got no response. He put his coat away and headed to the bedroom. He was definitely not prepared for the sight that greeted him when he turned on the light. The closet door stood open and Adam lay on his back in a pool of blood coming from between his legs next to an over-turned chair.

Don screamed Adam's name and knelt down next to his still body. He found a faint pulse, and called 9-1-1 while trying to get Adam to respond. When the medical techs arrived, Don explained Adam's condition and told them that Adam had been seeing Dr. Edna Price, and that she needed to be contacted ASAP. Don rode with Adam to the hospital, and was stopped from going into the exam room by a nurse with a handful of forms to be filled out. After what seemed like a lifetime later, Dr. Price came looking for Don. Don could tell that the news wasn't good, and braced himself for what was coming.

"Don, please come with me to my office."

"Dr. Edna, please tell me what is going on. How bad is it?"

"Don, it's not good at all. Adam had a miscarriage. He's lost a lot of blood, and suffered some internall damage as well."

"Is he going to be okay? Can I see him?"

"he'll be okay eventually, but right now he needs rest. You can possibly see him after he wakes up."

"Doc, will you tell me about the baby?"

"What do you want to know?"

"Was it a boy or a girl?"

"It was a little boy, Don."

Don sat there and cried until he didn't think he could cry anymore. He cried for Adam, he cried for his dead baby, and he cried for the injustice of it all. Damnit, it just wasn't fair. When he was able to compose himself, he apologized to Dr. Price and they left the office together. Dr. Price said she was going to check on Adam, and would be back with an update as soon as she had more information. When they reached the waiting room, Don found Mac and Danny waiting for him. He thought there were no more tears left but the minute he saw the two friends, his tears returned. The two men held him while the storm passed, and he sat down with his friends and explained what he knew so far.

After what seemed like hours, Dr. Price came looking for Don. She sat down next to him and said that she had news. She explained that Adam was doing well physically, but she was concerned about Adam's mental state. When Don asked what she meant, she explained that Adam was showing very little , if any, emotion at all. She went on to explain that when she explained to Adam what had happened, it didn't seem to faze him. No tears, nothing. He still didn't want to see Don, so Don went back to the waiting room to sit with Mac and Danny. While Don was gone with Dr. Price, Danny had gone and gotten some food. Don tried to eat, but was too upset. After Mac and Danny left, Don settled in for what was sure to be a long night. Around 3 A.M. Dr. Price woke Don gently telling him that Adam was asking for him.

When Don walked into Adam's room, he was shocked at his husband's appearance. Adam looked like a doll sitting up in the bed.  When Don tried to lean over and kiss him, Adam turned his head away. Don was confused, but didn't say anything about it.

"Adam, how do you feel?"

"How the hell do you think I feel?"

"I was just asking, Adam. Is there anything I can get for you?"

"Yeah, get me the hell out of here. Now!"

"Adam, you can't leave just yet.You've been thru a lot, and you need some time to get better."

"No, what I need is to get out of here and away from you!"

"Adam, what the hell are you talking about? What did I do?"

"Well, let's see... All I've heard for the last 7 months is about that damn baby, how YOU were excited, how proud YOU were, and on and on and on! I thought I wanted the baby at first, but somewhere along the way, my heart changed its mind. By that time, it was too late for an abortion, and I knew it had to be an accident."

"Adam, please stop talking like this. Tell me you didn't kill our baby on purpose."

"That's EXACTLY what happened, Don!"

Don couldn't take anymore. He turned and left the room as if the hounds of hell were right behind him. Although it was late, he called Mac. After explaining what Adam had just told him, Mac told him to stay put and he would be there as soon as he could. After talking to Mac, Don went looking for Dr. Price. He found her in her office, and knocked on the door. She motioned for him to come in.

"What can I do for you, Don?"

"Dr. Price, I just came from talking to Adam, and I'm so confused. He just admitted to killing our baby!"

"Don, I'm so sorry. What can I do?"

"Do you think you can give me some sort of insight as to what the hell happened?"

"Sometimes pregnancy causes severe hormonal changes, and when that happens, then anything is possible."

"But he seemed so happy, and he acted like he wanted the baby."

"There's no accounting for some peoples' actions. What do you plan to do?"

"Can you recommend a good psychiatrist? A clinic, or something?

"As a matter of fact, I can. I'll make a call in the morning, and will get in touch with you as soon as I know something."

"Thanks, Doc. I need to go home for a while. You can reach me there."

When Don left the office, he found Mac waiting for him. As they left the hospital, they caught a cab and went to Don's place. When they arrived, Don made coffee and they sat at the kitchen table.

"So, Mac, what the hell am I gonna do now?"

"What does the doctor recommend?"

"She's gonna call a psychiatrist who has a clinic where Adam can go."

"What do you think about that?"

"It's better than me facing Adam right now, especially after what he's done."

"Don, do you want to file charges?"

"No, Mac, I can't do that to him. I honestly don't think he was in his right mind when this happened."

"I realize that, Don, but murder is murder."

"I know, but I just can't put him in that position. I still care about him, just not the way I used to."

"Whatever you decide, just let me know."

"I appreciate that. Mac, please don't tell anybody what we found out tonight, okay?"

"I promise."

The next morning, Dr. Price called Don at home and let him know that her friend agreed to take Adam's case, and would be coming to pick him up from the hospital the next day. Don thanked her and packed a bag for Adam's hospital stay. He went to the hospital and dropped the bag off at Dr. Price's office. Dr. Price asked if he would like to see Adam, but he declined stating that it would be best for all parties involved if he didn't.

About a week after Adam went away, Don received a letter from him. He didn't even bother to open it, just marked it "return to sender" and sent it back. This continued off and on for about 6 months until one day, out of curiosity, Don opened one of the letters.

Dear Don,

I know you'll probably send this letter back just like all the others, but maybe you won't. I want you to know that I've made considerable progress during my stay here, and am hoping that maybe you will come for a visit. That may be asking too much, but here's hoping anyway. I 'm hoping that maybe we can work on getting back together because I really miss you, and even though what I did was wrong, I'm hoping maybe you can forgive me. Please drop a line when you can. Will be waiting to hear from you.  Always, Adam

Don read the letter a second time, drying the tears from his face. He couldn't believe that after everything Adam had done and taken from him that all he could think about was getting back together with him. Like that was ever gonna happen. Don got up from his desk, and threw the letter away.


The End

Next story in series - Moving On