Title: A Night With Adam
Disclaimer: none of these characters belong to me!
Note: For AJ and Carmicakes, am missing you both so much….x
Summary: An Adam and Danny story. Danny looks after Adam when he has an asthma attack in the lab and thinking about their backgrounds, they individually contemplate the reasons they are drawn to each other.
Adam wasn't sure what had started it off but he felt all the familiar warning signs. That slow tightening in his chest, his breathing becoming shallower, the sound of wheezing in his lungs. He looked around him on the lab table he was standing over, trying to work out what had caused the imminent attack. A brown folder containing the lab results Mac had asked him to review lay closed beside him. He wished he had sat down and looked through those first as he probably wouldn't be in this situation now. He leant down on the table with both hands and closed his eyes as his breathing became more laboured. The open liquid samples he hadn't identified seemed to be the most likely suspects, maybe he'd breathed in something chemical. Unable to think of anything else he tried to concentrate on his breathing which was getting further out of his control. He tried taking some deep breaths but could only manage a few wheezy attempts. He put his hand up to his chest, which by this stage felt like it was in a vice. It had been a long time since it had been this severe but he was determined not to panic, not here. He shakily undid the top two buttons of his shirt, grateful that the lax lab rules allowed him to wear loose comfortable clothes to work. He needed to get somewhere cooler but didn't want to move. He shifted more weight onto the table and retrieved his ventolin inhaler from his jeans pocket. He shook it as best he could and raised it to his mouth. Waiting for an in breath he squeezed his inhaler and tried to suck in as much of the spray as possible. He felt the cool mist at the back of his throat and hoped his weak breathing could carry enough to his lungs. He tried again frustrated at how difficult it was to co-ordinate his panicked breathing with the release of the medication into his mouth.
"Hey Adam…" Danny trailed off as he quickly realised something was wrong, he was a Detective after all. Adam's mind started to race, he didn't want Danny to see him like this. Relaxing the tight grip he had around his inhaler he slid it back in his pocket, although he knew it was far beyond the point of pretending he was OK. He kept his gaze fixed down the table afraid he'd see sympathy in Danny's eyes. Painfully aware of the increasing volume of his wheezing and the worsening of his attack he tried to keep some control of his situation and not clutch onto Danny for help.
It hadn't always been like this, there had been a time when Adam had prayed for the next asthma attack to come. Attacks bad enough for the school to send him to hospital so he could avoid going home to his abusive father and neglectful mother. He had been lucky back then. His parents never parted with money to get 'the little shit' the medications he'd needed so he'd spent countless nights alone on a nebuliser in the county's paediatrics ward. It hadn't taken the hospital long to become suspicious of the Ross family, especially when an X-ray of Adam's lungs revealed years of healed fractures all over his malnourished torso.
"Hey," Danny spoke calmly and quietly as he came up behind Adam. "It'll be OK, I've got you now cupcake." Danny felt Adam tense as he gently placed his hand on Adam's heaving shoulder and gave it a little squeeze. He put his other hand on Adam's waist feeling the younger man's body expand and contract as he fought for breath. "Lets go somewhere where you can sit down, OK?" Adam, still resisting giving himself up completely to Danny, made a small murmuring sound in consent and let Danny pull him gently away from the lab table and towards the little staff room on the opposite side of the hall. Danny pulled Adam a little closer towards him as they moved to the other room and wondered whether movement was a good idea after all. Adam was really struggling now and Danny realised he might have over estimated his own abilities in dealing with the situation. "Do you need me to call an ambulance Addy?" He took Adam's sudden flailing and attempts at speech as protest. "Whoa, alright its fine, its fine if that's what you want." Adam tried to concentrate on calming himself again but found his thoughts more concerned over what Danny would think of him if he couldn't calm down. Every step felt like a marathon but it would be worth it when he could sit down on the fabric couch which now looked more inviting than ever. Danny left Adam leaning on the couch while he ran over to open the windows. He got behind Adam again and manoeuvred him so his back was to the couch. Danny sat down first and tugged Adam down so he was sat in between Danny's legs.
Danny sat up straight and pulled Adam's back close against his chest. "Breathe with me OK?" Unable to speak Adam nodded and focused on Danny's steady breathing and tried to move his body in time with the CSIs. Adam turned his head slightly so he could feel Danny's warm breath on his face. He was beginning to feel calmer already and the pain in his chest was very slowly diminishing but he wasn't sure if it was the ventolin beginning to work or the close presence of his friend.
Danny thought back to when he'd had asthma as a kid, it had never been very bad but he could remember some basic stuff. "Do you have your inhaler?" Adam nodded and took it out of his pocket again clutching it tightly in his fist. "You used it already?" Adam nodded again but shook it up trying to indicate he could use it again now without overdosing himself. Danny got the message. "Do you have a spacer or something?" Danny remembered how he'd inhaled his asthma meds through a chamber when he couldn't co-ordinate his breathing. Adam shook his head thinking how useless his spacer was lying in the draw of his bedside table at home. Adam's wheezy breaths were getting longer, slight progress on earlier and he wondered what Danny was thinking. "Hang on, I have an idea." Danny slid around behind Adam to get up and started tearing through the cupboards in the staff room. Adam closed his eyes trying to remember the feeling of Danny breathing behind him and to keep the rhythm without his chest pressed against him. He hoped that Danny's idea was related to his asthma attack and that he wasn't just looking for something to eat. He was well aware of how Danny's mind could wander when food came into play. "Great, got it!" Adam opened his eyes and looked at Danny nervously as he enthusiastically showed Adam a large paper cup. Adam frowned in confusion as Danny slid back around behind him. "Come here, stay with my breathing again while I sort this out." Adam felt the warm comfort of Danny's chest against his back again and watched as Danny made a hole in the bottom of the cup. He understood. He let Danny take his inhaler from his hand and push the mouthpiece through the hole in the cup. Danny pulled Adam up straight against him and put the cup over Adam's nose and mouth. He squirted the inhaler four times to let Adam inhale it from the cup at his own pace. With his other hand he gently massaged Adam's neck and shoulder which were strained from the effort of his breathing. Adam reached up to hold his inhaler himself allowing Danny's hand to find his other shoulder. He felt his neck and shoulders relaxing as Danny ran his strong fingers over them. He was still wheezing loudly but knew he would soon feel the pain subside as the medication started to kick in thanks to Danny's clever cup idea.
Danny was glad it was a last minute nightshift so that they were pretty much alone in the labs. He wasn't sure what the others might have thought if they'd have seen them together, him, legs straddled around Adam. He enjoyed the flirty attention he got from Lindsay. Flack… would Flack have been jealous? It was good between them when Danny was in the mood for something rough, but Adam. He never seen a look of judgement pass behind Adam's eyes, like the kind of look he was used to from Mac. Adam only looked at him with respect and admiration, feelings that Danny craved. He knew Adam was keen to impress him. He guessed he could be more natural with him, be in control of the situation. He'd learnt a little about Adam's past during a reluctant recall from the shy lab tech and it had been in Danny's instincts to want to protect him. He moved his hands further down Adam's back and reached under Adam's shirt wanting to relax more of his tight muscles and felt glad he could feel his breathing becoming easier. The wheezing had reduced dramatically and his breaths were much longer and stronger. Danny moved his hands around Adam's torso to his stomach and then up to his chest, careful not to squeeze him too tightly. He ran his fingers across Adam's ribcage and then up his chest again feeling Adam's nipples harden as he brushed over them. Adam felt eased by Danny's warm soft hands all over his back and chest. Apart from his chest, which was still a little tight and sore, his muscles felt relaxed. His breathing was much easier than it had been just a few minutes ago. He took two more deep puffs on his inhaler and then leant back against Danny who was still rubbing him gently. He felt a stiffening in Danny's tight jeans against his back and he moved his hand up Danny's thigh unsure of what to do next.
Overcome by the unexpected compassion shown to him and partly due to relief he was able to breathe easily again, Adam let out a slight sob. "Its OK, you're gonna be fine cupcake." The relief in Danny's voice was evident.
"I'm, not, used, to," Adam gasped between the words, "people, caring."
"Hmm," Danny whispered slowly, nuzzling Adam's neck "Me too."
Adam wasn't sure if he was interpreting right but he'd often wondered if Danny had had similar experiences to him when he was younger. He could see the way Danny also looked to Mac like a son looks to a father, for support, for approval.
"Thanks." Adam felt the tears start to roll slowly down his cheek and pulled Danny's arm around him knowing he didn't need to seek approval any further. Danny took his other hand out from beneath Adam's shirt, away from his smooth, soft skin and started to stroke his hair. Adam feeling safer than ever before snuggled up in Danny's muscular body cried silently and let the energy escape from his body. Danny stayed awake for a while longer listening to Adam's now steady breathing before he fell asleep too.
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