Title: Upping the Ante
Author: Dee
Rating: R
Pairings: Gil/Nick
Characters: Gil, Nick and some team members and an OMC
Warnings: Fluff and (very) AU. Not SS friendly.
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: In my dreams they are like, totally mine!
Beta: jayceepat and podga for their invaluable help in the Americanisation of the fic and their insightful comments – which I may well have ignored! I thank high_striker for his wonderful icons. I am indebted to them all. Any errors are mine.
A/N: This is Part Three of Seven of an ongoing saga. It follows on from BFF which followed on from Facing Up. It will help to be familiar with these as they form part of the whole!

So, that's exactly what they did, they dated........platonically.

When Gil left Nick's apartment that evening, he'd been in a happy mood. Nick didn't want to end their friendship; the big 'secret' was his homosexuality. Gil wasn't fazed by the revelation; he'd never had any feelings for men or any inclination to 'experiment' with men, but that didn't mean he........didn't mean what exactly?

He would have to give this some thought - the reckless proposition to Nick that they should 'date' - albeit platonically - had just popped into his head. He wasn’t usually given to impulsive actions or words. What did it mean? He had no idea, but he was clear that he'd told Nick his feelings, that he wasn't, as far as he knew, gay. But, it was also true that if Nick was, and there did seem to Gil to be some room for manoeuvre in that declaration, he would explore the...what...possibility...the idea of it. It certainly wasn't repulsive, in any way, to him; he was of the opinion that just because he hadn't, it didn't mean he wouldn't. Like bungee jumping, one of these days he really would have a go at that.

In fact, as Gil mulled it over he had to admit that the thought of Nick, whom no one could deny was a very handsome man, having dreams, wet dreams even, about him, was flattering. He’d never considered himself to be a handsome man. He chuckled, because according to Nick, both Sara and Sofia wouldn't say 'no' to a date with him.

He then laughed out loud at a thought – he’d gone from being a sad bastard to having not one, but three, gorgeous specimens lusting after him.....no, he corrected himself, two, he would not call Sara 'gorgeous'. A fine brain, no doubt about that, a good figure too, but, what.....whining, paranoid, humourless, self absorbed......now he'd starting thinking he couldn't stop with the derogatory adjectives, and that was mean, but he was absolutely certain he wouldn't be 'dating' her. Nor Sofia; he was going to try out this 'thing' with Nick. Nicky.

Nick was in his condo feeling light-hearted and panic stricken at the same time. Gil. Gil. Gil. Gil had actually suggested 'dating'...okay it was going to be a platonic set up but it did give him a chance to be with Gil and he hoped that it could lead to other things. What he had to ask himself, seriously, is how he would cope if it didn't lead...to anything other than 'platonic’? Gil had stressed that he would be his 'friend' regardless, that gave them both some leeway......there was always the possibility that Nick may discover that he didn't actually 'like' Gil 'that' way.

Nick laughed out loud at that thought - there was no way that would happen. He wanted Gil, like he'd never wanted anyone else in his entire life, and that thought gave him both solace and dread. In the end, if Gil didn't want him physically he would have to be content with his friendship - that would have to be the bottom line. It would be better than nothing at all, and that's what he's had up until now and he managed. Well, no, he hadn't, he'd ended up in therapy, but he did have Gil as a friend, and he hadn't had that before. This was going to be good; he had a feeling in his bones.

He was cleaning the grill and let all these thoughts whiz around, inside his mind. He’d just finished when his cell rang. He picked it up, its display announced 'GG’. His very first thought - he's changed his mind.

"Hey."

"A fine prospective boyfriend I turned out to be - I left without fixing up a date. Should we count it as our first or was that tonight?"

"Not tonight, let’s do something special to sort of - mark the event." Nick's mood soared at the happy and playful tone in Gil's voice.

"Exactly my thought - I thought about a show, what do you think? I haven't seen any of the Cirque du Soliel shows, how about you?"

"Nope - I've heard that 'O' at the Bellagio is the best."

"I'll see about tickets; when's your next night off?"

"Errrr next Wednesday, what about you?"

"Doesn't matter, I'm the boss, remember? So it'll be Wednesday."

“Okay.” Nick was nearly jumping up and down in excitement, but tried to keep his speech as even as he could, but he must have sounded just as happy as indeed, did Gil.

"If I can't get tickets for 'O', shall I just go with the flow?"

"That'd be good.......but, Gil, you know you don't have to do this...I won't hold......" Was as far as Nick got before Gil interrupted.

"I wouldn't have suggested it, if I wasn't prepared to give it a try Nick...and Nick?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm not going to ask Sofia out to dinner – I will remain faithful." He was joking with Nick now, but nevertheless it was with serious intent.

"Thank God for that....the likelihood of me scratching her eyes out in a locker room fight was looming!"

"A fight...over me.....could I get some mud for that Nicky?"

"Errrr, no.......mind you, even I would watch Sara and Sofia..."

"Oh, no......well, perhaps."

"Well, Gil, I'm certainly seeing a different side to you, man."

"The 'dirty old man' side, do you mean?"

"No....well not the 'old' bit anyway!"

"You say the kindest things. Hey, we should have breakfast before Wednesday, but it won't be our first date - it can be 'date, minus one and counting'."

"Yeah, that'd be good."

"See you at work tonight then and breakfast afterwards?"

"See you...and Gil, thanks man."

"You're welcome and Nick…sweet dreams!" Gil ended his call and left Nick staring at his cell as if he’d never seen one before in his life.

Nick was swinging dangerously between ecstasy and despair. He was ecstatic that Gil would be 'dating' him, and this was a truly auspicious start. But, what if Gil tired of him, what if he wasn't what Gil wanted after all. Nick berated himself; this was more than he'd dared hope for and he was going to make the best of it, which was all he could do.

He'd speak to Ed though; that made him smile, he bet Ed didn't think he’d be a relationship counsellor to a newly gay guy and his straight boyfriend. Catherine'd be good at this, he thought, as he headed for the shower and then his bed.

Gil finished his call to Nick and sat back on his couch and thought about the banter they'd just shared. It was no more than they usually shared and yet it was so much more. Gil was very conscious that he would have to be vigilant with Nick. He would continue to be his friend, he had no doubt about that, but he would have to take this new development both carefully and cautiously. He knew, even if Nick was oblivious, that Nick's psyche was fragile.

Gil actually wondered if Nick would mind if he accompanied him to a session with his therapist - see the lay of the land, so to speak. As he thought it, he knew that Nick would have no objection – Ed might though. Catherine'd know how to go about this, he thought, as he hauled himself up from his couch and headed for the shower and then his bed.

The next shift arrived and Nick saw Gil in his office as he made his way from locker room to briefing room. Gil was absorbed in something he was reading and looked as serious as ever. Nick smiled a secret little smile as he thought about the Gil he now knew, Sara would kill him if she even suspected what was going on; Sara was strange, there was no getting away from that.

Gil took the assignments in to his team and he paired Sara up with Nick - Nick nearly burst out laughing at the deliberate ploy by Gil. He'd have him over breakfast about it, and both men knew it. It was a murder/suicide and fairly straightforward. On the way back to the lab, Sara spent some time talking about Gil - Nick felt fraudulent for just 'yes-ing' and 'no-ing' to her meanderings about the similarities between her and Gil.

As far as Nick could see there were none. As far as Sara could see they were kindred spirits - so absorbed with their work they excluded everything and everybody else. Nick wanted to set her straight so much, that he was gritting his teeth and nearly wrenching the steering wheel from its column.

There was a 'B&E' waiting for them when they got back. Nick volunteered to go alone while Sara wrapped up their other case. It gave Nick a chance to calm down and luckily that case was straightforward too; barring major incidents, he would be breakfasting with Gil.

And so, not more than ninety minutes following the end of their shift - there was always some last minute crisis - Nick and Gil were in their favourite haunt ordering a fairly healthy breakfast for both of them.

"Man....Sara?" Nick started with a whine, but had a huge grin to go with it.

“You know that our friendship is all above board and that's no problem, but I think that we should be cautious in revealing what is going on...you never know Nicky...I am your supervisor and some people......would be less than understanding and have a field day if there was even a sniff of impropriety."

"I understand completely Gil, and would not expect anything else, but you did do it deliberately didn't you.......?"

"Yes, I'm sorry...just a momentary lapse, I'll share you around properly from now on - unless, of course you upset me then it could be Sara, case after case, shift after shift." He laughed at the outraged look on Nick's face.

"I’d completely missed this evil streak you have, Gil."

"You don't know the half of it, Nicky, my boy."

Nick was laughing along with Gil, but couldn’t resist it, he said. "Well according to Sara, she knows you better than anyone, because you are so alike......”

"That's not nice at all Nick - I might have to return the tickets I have for 'O'."

"You got some? Man, that was lucky at short notice."

"Yes, good seats for the ten-thirty performance on Wednesday."

"Great - how much do I owe you?"

Gil's face was suddenly serious. "Nothing Nick, this is a date, remember - I've got it covered."

"You can't pay for me all the time, that wouldn't be fair and I'd feel......I don't know......embarrassed, I guess."

Gil looked at him for a few moments as if weighing up the situation. "You're right, I'm sorry, I'm sort of throwing myself into this a bit too enthusiastically, aren't I?"

"No, you're not Gil, it's great. Look, why don't we just take it in turns to pay, that'll even it out and mean we are dating each other and not exactly going 'dutch', what about it?"

"An excellent idea, if ever I heard one Nick. I was going to ask about something........"

"What? Go on. You can ask anything you want, I won't be offended, I think we’ve gone past the 'shy' stage after all I've told you." Nick smiled, directly at Gil, making eye contact. Gil looked down.

"Well, do you think...I don't know now; well....?” It was unusual, but Gil was floundering.

"Spit it out Gil, come on."

"Do you think I could come to see Ed with you....about this...what do you think?"

Nick flopped back in his seat, he was amazed. "I thought the same thing Gil, exactly the same thing - I'll have to check it out with him, obviously, but I want to get this right. He may not want it though, but that doesn't stop us seeing someone else does it?"

It was Gil's turn to amazed, when did the pair of them turn into 'therapy' junkies? "Now this is a worrying trait in both of us...remember months ago we were debunking therapy...and here we are...wholeheartedly embracing it."

"I did think Catherine would do it for free and love it."

"Good lord, Nicky, so did I, so did I."

They both dissolved into helpless laughter as the waitress arrived with their juice and fruit salads with yoghurt. They were regulars of hers and she'd spent many an idle minute or two debating, with herself, whether they were gay or not. Some days they were, other days they weren't. Today they were.

They met again the next day for dinner before shift - this was officially 'date - minus one', as the breakfast had been 'date - minus two'. Gil thought it was ‘a real friendship’; the first he’d for many, years; well, if the truth was known, the best (real) friendship he’d ever had. 'A real relationship', was how Nick viewed it. To an outsider, if they were looking in, 'a relationship', was probably nearer the mark.

Nick's therapist had not been overjoyed at Nick's request - he thought that Nick could be rushing headlong into a potential train wreck, while this Dr Grissom was exploiting a young man with 'issues'. However, since they both were being cautious enough to request a joint session, it would be negligent of him not to see them together, even if it was to assess the situation and do a bit of prospective damage control.

Nick had also requested a reduction in his anti-depressant dosage. Ed thought that it could be too soon, but if he didn't acquiesce to his patient's wishes and actually control a gradual reduction, he could well see him flushing the drugs down the toilet. That would do a lot more harm, so a gradual reduction was agreed.

Ed actually liked Nick - he seldom had patients who were so willing to bare their souls and be so committed to recovery. It was quite refreshing really and it made up for all his middle aged men and women, who had more money than problems and usually only wanted someone to excuse their infidelities as 'identity' issues over non-existent childhood trauma – a ‘scolding’ for being naughty and obnoxious did not constitute childhood trauma. If they’d had just a few weeks living in the stressful situation that the young Nick Stokes had endured, they’d know about trauma alright..... But they paid well and that kept his wife happy.

Gil and Nick had their 'official' date. They had a meal at the hugely expensive Chinese restaurant, ‘Olives’, within the Bellagio and then went on to see 'O'. In truth it was just like any of the other meals together and then the show, but both had made an effort to dress just a little smarter than normal, and if Gil had to describe Nick he would say he was a bit 'shy' - like on a first date. Nick would have said that Gil was 'attentive'. Both were right.

The show was phenomenal and they thoroughly enjoyed it. Both wanted to see it again and Gil, to Nick's eternal adoration, said that they should save it for their 'first anniversary'...he wasn't joking.

They had discussed about being seen out together, and agreed that it would just be 'friends' out for an evening. If they elaborated or tried to embellish it with a concocted story it would be suspicious and plain ridiculous for them. It had the added bonus of being, very nearly, the truth.

And so their little dating game continued. It was platonic, but Nick continued having the wet dreams; he wasn't bothered in the least, he felt great. He’d also come to terms, he thought, with the prospect of this being all they had together. He could live with it, he was happy.

Ed thought otherwise.

Part Two

Ed had agreed to see Gil, but wanted to discuss it, in depth, with Nick beforehand. This was so he'd be able to get a feel of things from Nick's perspective and support him, if need be, from what he supposed would be a 'I know what I'm doing and can handle Nick' approach from Dr Grissom. So, some four weeks after 'O', Gil and Nick waited outside the therapist's office, both were nervous, though they tried to hide it from each other.

Nick, in keeping with his 'normal' pattern of behaviour, wanted approval from Ed.

Gil, in keeping with his 'normal' behaviour, knew that Nick wanted approval, not only from him, but also from Ed. He only hoped that he could fulfil the role, because, frankly, he wanted to. What he really needed to do was question his own motives in all of this. He actually thought he might need to see someone....Nick's therapist...maybe not...someone independent with whom he could bounce ideas around.

Very shortly into the session, Ed had to issue a silent apology to Dr - please call me Gil - Grissom. He was a very likeable man. There was no doubting his intelligence but he had a good sense of humour and was clearly a sensible man, he plainly did want what was best for Nick - he could see that.

Why had he thought that he would be arrogant? Because Nick had said that he was the most self assured man he'd ever met and Ed had jumped to his very own conclusion that that equalled arrogant. He was not and their conversation - that was all it seemed to be - was searching and honest.

Gil's main concern was for Nick - he had suggested this platonic dating and both of them seemed to be ‘enjoying’ it - his word. But, he was concerned that he was only setting Nick up for a fall - Nick strenuously denied this - but Gil insisted that if all he could ever give Nick was 'friendship', wouldn't this, ultimately, be holding Nick back from seeking and finding a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

Gil was not in any way opposed to a physical relationship, but he was worried about that first step, because once made, Nick would be waiting for more.....and this was what really worried Gil......what if he couldn't pursue it, didn't like it, couldn't do it?

Gil had never intended or expected to spill all these beans at a first 'talk' with Ed, but the relaxed atmosphere and the personable man who was facilitating the session had just led him into it and it all came tumbling out.

Nick was astounded at Gil's revelations, but, at the same time happy that these issues were in the open - he felt he understood more about Gil and what he was thinking and the problems that Gil felt they were facing. Gil had apologised to Nick, there and then, for surprising Nick, but he did say that until he'd started talking about them being 'together' he hadn't realised exactly what it was and what it meant for each of them.

Ed seemed to understand the dilemma facing both men. Nick, sure that he was gay, but with only a very short, traumatic, experience to go by; Gil, not fazed by the homosexuality aspect, but having no previous inclination towards that sexual behaviourism was hesitant to take the step for fear of not liking it and hurting the person he least wanted to hurt in the first place.

Gil was in agreement with everything he'd said but Nick was far more hesitant - because he knew that Ed and Gil were not convinced that one encounter in a shower constituted enough evidence for a definitive 'diagnosis'.

"Look, both of you. I know in my heart of hearts that I. AM. GAY. It doesn't matter to me that my only 'experience' was with a boy called 'Mitch', nearly half my lifetime ago. Since that time I have lived my life in limbo. I know I have major Daddy issues, and you can throw in Momma and my brother and the girls and a babysitter for good measure.

“But, give me some credit here, despite everything, I am a functioning human being, I have a job I love and I now know I do it well, really well. In all of this I have had a realisation that I...want...my boss and when push comes to shove he's not exactly been reticent about 'us'.

“I know that neither of you believe that I could live with just friendship and nothing more. But let me tell you that I can, because HE…” For good measure Nick pointed at Gil, “…. has given me more with just his friendship than ANYONE has EVER given me before...in my life....and if he's never able to physically love me, then that's okay with me because I know, I absolutely know, that he loves me!"

Nick had startled himself with his speech, let alone Ed and Gil, but as realisation of the full impact of his words hit him, he jumped up from his seat and started pacing the room.

Ed thought that keeping his mouth shut was the best advice he could give himself right now, but he keenly observed both men. Nick, his words spoken with passion from his heart, his poor fragile heart, that had been broken so many times and was only just about patched up, was starting to panic. And, Gil, whose calm face was now furrowed in thought as he, very obviously, pored over every single syllable uttered by the young man.

"Nick, you are absolutely right - I do…I do love you." Gil's words were spoken quietly but firmly. Both he and Ed looked at Nick.

"Told you so, man." Nick replied quite evenly and then he grinned, the shit eating grin he'd given the first time to Mitch, all those years ago.

"I have to work through this though.....this is a surprise to me, you know."

"Sure, I know a good therapist if you want one!" His humour diffused the tension on the room.

"I think YOU might be a little more 'therapeutic' than you realise."

"Gentlemen, as much as I would like to continue this session my next patient was due in twenty minutes ago. But, all in all, excellent progress has been made today, especially by you Nick, you can work through this.....as much as it pains me, as a therapist, to say this Dr Gri...Gil, may I point out an adage, favoured by my mother, I'm afraid to admit, but, 'nothing ventured, nothing gained'.

Gil nodded. "I understand, thank you, very much." He stood and shook hands.

The two men left the office and didn't speak again until they were out in the morning sunshine.

"Nick?"

"Mmmm?"

"It's still not going to be easy.....I don't exactly do easy, you know."

"I know Gil, it's just like...well.... it's out in the open now and we can work at it can't we? I meant what I said Gil, I really did...if you can't, or don't want to then it is okay with me. I promise."

"You are....." Gil suddenly found himself choked up by the openness and kind nature of this man, who, out of all the people he'd ever known, had more traumas, more reasons not be kind and yet he'd risen above them all. "You are a very kind and generous man Nicky; let no one tell you otherwise."

“Hey, I’m hungry. Shall we have a cholesterol laden, heart-attack-on-a-plate breakfast and live a little dangerously?”

"You don't have to ask me twice. Lead on MacDuff!"

"Hey, 'Macbeth' - did that mumbo jumbo at school."

Gil groaned. "I'm positive that only a Texan would call Shakespeare 'mumbo jumbo'."

"Wash your mouth out, Dr Grissom; you cannot bad-mouth God's favourite state."

"Favourite, huh? You know this because?"

"It's the first thing the doctor says when you've been birthed....’Welcome to God's favourite state'!"

"Right, delusional from birth then?"

"You wanna go to that New York diner in The Forum at Caesar's, my treat?"

"Lead on....errrr......that would be very nice Nicholas, thank you."

The next few shifts were frenetic and both men worked doubles and nearly triples, so saw little of one another. Gil missed Nick, but was mostly too tired to think too much about where things would go next.

Nick missed Gil and while he was mostly too tired, he did think about his 'declaration' - as he'd taken to calling it. Gil's response still made him weak kneed if he thought about it too much - so he did, because he liked the feeling.

But then, as so often happens, things took a bit of a 'turn'. Everyone was recovering from the heavy workloads, caused in the main by a virus sweeping around the staff and knocking them off their feet for a few days. On the fifth day after it started Nick came in to work and looked, well Warrick said, 'Like something the cat dragged in'!

He was as white as a ghost, shivering, despite a fair number of layers of clothes, and yet he was sweating. To the touch he was hot and then cold but always clammy. He swore he was feeling better than he had and that he was okay to work. Gil looked at him as if he was stark raving mad and was about to shout at him at his stupidity for leaving his bed, when he realised such a display would certainly arouse suspicion. Gil was annoyed that Nick had not called him when he started to feel ill; he should be looking after him, taking care of him.

"Right - assignments." He gave them all the jobs they had to cover. "I'm taking Nick home, he's not fit to work, nor drive. I'll get him home, make sure he's comfortable and then be back here in the lab if anyone wants me.

Sara hoped that she would be next victim of the virus - Gil could then take her home and make her comfortable.

Nick was silent on the journey to his condo and looked to Gil as if he was about to pass out. He didn't, but Gil had to support him to get him into his home. In the bedroom he ordered the sick man to undress and unearthed, at Nick's direction, some old sweat pants and tee shirt and turned to put them on the bed, in time to see Nick grab the waste bands of his pants and underwear and push them to the floor and kick them off his legs.

Part Three

Gil was struck dumb and immobile as he looked at a naked Nick for the very first time. What a body he had, despite his illness it was all rippling muscles, not bulging, but toned and defined, and his skin was more smooth and evenly coloured than Gil could ever remember seeing - not only on a man, but a woman too. He did, after all, see a lot of bodies, though most were lifeless. He shook himself out of his reverie and reminded himself that the poor man was ill and here he was...what...ogling? Was that a good sign?

"Have you eaten?" He asked Nick as Nick struggled to pull the shirt over his head. Gil went to him and did a bit of tugging to get it onto a weakened Nick.

"Couldn't man, just the thought...."

"You should try and get something down Nick, it'll make you feel better - have you got any soup in your cupboards?"

"Might have, but honestly......"

"No 'buts' Nicky, I'll go and see what I can find - you get into bed."

"'Okay then."

Gil found a can of chicken soup in the cupboard; he was surprised that Nick's cupboards were now very well stocked and when he checked the ice box that that too was in a much better state than it used to be, and certainly much better than his own. 'Must eat here more often', he mused. He heated the soup and took it back into Nick, he helped him sit up in bed and virtually spoon fed a reluctant Nick, his soup.

"Jewish penicillin."

"Man?"

"Chicken soup, or more properly Chicken broth, renowned as a 'cure all' by Jewish mothers the world over, so I'm told."

"Don't want you to be my Momma, Gil"

"Brain activity seems to be okay."

"Gotta sleep, man,"

Gil settled Nick back down under the covers. "You warm enough?"

"Feet cold."

Gil rummaged around until he found a pair of sports socks and then lifted the bedclothes up at the bottom of the bed and encased two cold feet in the socks. He rubbed the feet for a few minutes to try and heat them up and then settled the bedding down. He took the dirty dish to the kitchen, Nick had eaten most of the soup, and got a bottle of water and a bottle of raspberry flavoured sports drink and took then back into Nick. He put them on his nightstand.

"If you wake up try to have some water and the isotonic drink - it'll stop dehydration setting in, that’d make you feel even worse.'

"Yeah, Momma."

"Cheek. I'm going back to work, if you need me for anything, call me - promise?"

"Promise."

"I'll be back at the end of the shift."

Nick gave a half hearted little snort.

"I will, I promise." Gil looked down at Nick and felt a rush of warmth in his chest - an actual physical feeling.

"Sleep tight, hope the bugs don't bite." His own mother had said that to him every night until he'd protested he was old enough to go to bed on his own. He missed her even now.

Nick was asleep; Gil kissed his own fingertips and then pressed them to Nick’s clammy forehead.

Gil was back at the lab in a little over an hour; it was quiet, everyone out on their assignments. Gil intended to stay in, in case Nick needed him. Besides, he had about a month’s worth of paperwork to do. He settled in to do it. He actually made good progress for a couple of hours and then went to get a coffee, when he returned his cell was ringing; it was Nick.

"What's wrong?" He began in panic mode.

"Nothing man, just got up for a pee and thought I'd say 'hi'. 'Hi'."

"Oh. How're you feeling?"

"A bit better - managed to hold onto the soup and I'm warmer. Did you put socks on me?"

"I did."

"Phew, man, I thought I was suffering black outs."

"No, you do sound better though - don't forget to drink some...."

"Man, you're a real mother hen."

"And what? You're my chick-a-dee?"

"Mmmm; wouldn't mind!"

"Go back to bed and rest up......I'll see you in a couple......"

"Aren't you busy?"

"Doing paperwork, everyone else is out. I will take the opportunity to finish on time Nick."

'Okay. Hey......."

"What?"

"Love you." And Nick ended the call, he didn't want or need a response; he knew.

Gil looked at his cell for several long moments as he digested what Nick had said. He did love Nick. He knew he did. But what worried Gil now was the way in which he loved Nick. When he'd told Nick he didn't do 'easy', he wasn't kidding. Nick himself had, this very night, referred to Gil as 'momma', and while Gil knew that Nick didn't mean it literally, Gil had to question his own feelings about this. Was his love for Nick not what a lover might have but more a 'parental' love. He was concerned for Nick, he wanted to take care of him, keep him safe.

The trouble was Gil had no 'terms of reference' - he'd never loved a woman, and certainly never a man, deeply, he'd never had children. His only reference point was his own mother. He knew that the actions he’d taken towards Nick mirrored hers towards himself.

Back when he'd first discovered how badly he'd treated Nick he'd hugged and comforted him like his mother had done for him. Gil had never, once, had the inclination to do that with anyone else, but following that and even after the time spent with the therapist, the closest they'd been physically had been this very night when, once again, Nick needed comfort, and not......well.....sex.

"I hope you're contemplating work, Gilbert." Jim's voice brought him back to his office.

"Errrr...well...."

"I was only joking, Gil, but you obviously weren't. You'd make a lousy criminal, good job you're on the right side of the fence."

"Jim, how do you know when you're in love?" Gil had not intended to say this; it just....'popped' out. He must get out of this newly formed habit…stupid man.

"Oh, oh, well this is a surprise; has the great glacier melted, have you finally succumbed to what we, mere mortals, have to contend with?"

"I......"

"Well Gil, the simple answer to your question is 'why on earth ask me' – do I look like I have a wealth of knowledge on the subject? All I can say is, if you are, you'll know it and if you're not you'll question it.....anyway who's the poor....I mean 'lucky' lady?"

"Like I'm telling you anything Jim...a bigger gossip than Catherine....I think the two of you are conspirators in the gossip stakes."

"I'm hurt." Jim replied with a hand over his heart. "But, come on Gil, you asked me in the first place."

"And I will live to regret it; just say that I have a 'situation' and I'm in a quandary. That's all I have to say on the matter."

"Let me see, is it Sara..." At Gil's horrified look Jim chuckled.

"That's a 'no' then'......can't be Catherine, 'cause she'd have told me......." He had the good grace to look sheepish at Gil's raised eyebrows.

"Well, that leaves....half the population of Vegas. I can't see you with a lab rat.....they're all a bit...well not your type, shall we say....."

"What does that mean?" Gil was feeling a bit like one of his own specimens under a microscope.

"Well they're a bit...young.....you know, club scene...that sort of thing..."

"And I'm too old to get into a club, is that what you're saying Jim."

"Too old and too ugly, Gil, I'm sorry but I am lumping you in with me."

"Oh thanks Jim, so nice to know, when I must give you....ten years at least." Two can play this game.

"Hit a nerve there did I.....so she's a lot younger then?"

Gil groaned, he couldn't argue with a cop, not one as astute as Jim... "If you breathe a word of this, Jim Brass, I swear I'll commit a perfect murder - your body’ll never be found."

"Look Gil, sorry. I can't help though, you know my track record. If you tell me who she is I'll see if I can...well...'see you together'....sort of thing."

"Do I look like a complete idiot, Jim?" Gil laughed.

"Well.......you did ask the question Gil.....I rest my case.”

"Yeah, well...please...don't bandy it around, will you Jim?"

"No. I promise." Jim said, quite seriously, but left Gil's office with a lecherous wink.

Gil thought about the fact that Nick was a 'man'. If this 'relationship' did end up working out, they would be gossip fodder for years. Gil also thought about what Jim had said....'if you have to ask'.....but he didn't need to ask - he did love Nick - what he needed to know was how he loved him. Father to son, or man to man.

Gil left the lab on time, excusing himself from Sara's blow by blow account of her crime scene. She was open mouthed at the put down. Gil had been very polite but to Sara it sounded as if he'd berated her with profanities and ended up with a slap, or two, to her face.


Part Four

Gil drove straight to Nick's condo and let himself in with Nick's own keys, taken earlier. He needed to get spare keys, in case he ever had to come over in an emergency, he thought...same with Nick and his house.

Nick was asleep, but had more colour than when Gil had left him earlier. Gil noticed that about half of both drinks had been consumed, but the bed looked like some storm had hit it full blast.

"Hey." Nick had woken, he thought, at the feel of Gil's eyes on him.

"Hey you. How're you feeling? You look better."

"Yeah, feel it. Could eat something, don't know what. Could use a shower"

"Well you get in the shower, I'll change the bedding, get you spruced up and then we'll discuss menu choices."

"Sounds like a plan."

Nick was shaky but made it to the shower pointing out where the clean bed linens were on his way. Gil stripped the bed, and remade it. The dirty linen was already on a the wash cycle when a damp Nick emerged from the bathroom. A towel wrapped around his middle he looked for some clean clothes for bed wear. Again, without thought, he lost the towel, naked in front of Gil again, from the back view this time; Gil really did appreciate the ass on the man, tight, compact and Gil noticed that it was hairless, like his chest. Gil chuckled then, trying to remember if his own ass was actually hairy or not, he couldn't remember ever contemplating that particular subject before.

"What?" Nick turned to look at Gil; he had sweat pants on now.

"Nothing Nicky, nothing at all."

"Must have been something."

"Well, if you must know….I was actually wandering if my ass was as smooth as a baby's…like yours….."

"Want me to take a look for you Gil?" Came the instant retort.

"Someone is feeling better."

"I am....did you like what you saw?"

"I......I.....well....." Damn this man for rendering him inarticulate.

"S’okay! Don't get your pants in a twist!"

"I liked what I saw, okay?" He said this quite forcefully - he wasn't sixteen for God's sake.

"You did, did you......" It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

"Eat Nick, what do you want to eat?"

"Don't know......eggs and toast.....sound good?"

"It does; eggs and toast it is."

Gil scurried off to the kitchen to prepare a meal for both of them. Nick wrapped himself in a robe and went to lie on his couch. He had some new information to mull over. He hadn't thought about being naked in front of Gil, it hadn't crossed his mind - but he now knew that Gil liked his ass. That was a definite move in the right direction; very definite.

The eggs and toast tasted good to both men. They ate in silence. Nick was thinking about his ass and that he must work on it at the gym......needed to keep on his toes now 'it' had an 'admirer'. It was his turn to chuckle.

"I know I'm going to regret this but - what?"

"Just thinking about my ass, s'all."

"Oh, there's a surprise...what about it?"

"Need to keep it toned....in case it...sees any action."

"I.....I.....Nick will you stop this please.....we've got to take this easy.....and by 'we' I do mean both of us."

"Right."

"I mean it."

"Sure, no probs."

"Nicky..........."

"Well, stop calling me 'Nicky' then."

"......Oh....I thought you liked it...sorry, I'll try not to do it again." Gil was taken aback at Nick's plea.

"I DO like it, man, I like it too way too much when you say it, all sweet and plaintive......like."

"Oh."

"Hey, you'd better be getting on home to get your zzz’s in and before you ask, I'll be fine, I feel so much better, just a little wobbly; I'll be in work tonight, no sweat."

"Are you sure, I don't want you relapsing."

"I'm sure; it's run its course. My recuperative powers are legendary."

"I'll get the dishes and set your bedding to dry and then I'll be off."

"I can manage that."

"No, beddy-byes for wittle Nicky!"

"You say the nicest things....not."

"Hah-hah, but you love me....." The moment Gil had said it he regretted it. No, he didn't. Yes, he...... NO, he didn't.

Nick saw the looks passing over the face of the man he did, actually, love. "That would be in the affirmative. It's okay Gil, I'm taking this slow, I promise. I want it to last, I don't want to scare you off; you know neither of us have any 'terms of reference'..." Gil looked surprised when he said that. ".....so we've got to work it out as we go....take it real slow.....?"

“Sounds like a plan to me…come on, bed."

"Nope, gotta go."

"You, young man, are going nowhere."

"Oh yes I am, bathroom break."

"You...right...take a dump."

Nick was downright shocked at hearing Gil say such a what.....crude.... thing...although he would have no hesitation in saying it himself to Warrick or Greg. But, this was Gil for God's sake. His face must have reflected that shock and Gil laughed.

"I bet you didn't think that I actually do defecate - but I do, and refer to it as 'taking a dump', as I'm sure a fair proportion of the male population do - to themselves."

"Yeah....it's just a shock to hear you say it....you're Gil Grissom for God's sake.......Gil Grissom." It was as if the thought of who the man was had only just this second hit Nick. He loved THE Gil Grissom, Dr Grissom - world renowned entomologist. "Wow!"

"Are you okay Nicky?"

"Mmmm - I love Gil Grissom."

"You do, and I have admitted that I do indeed, love you back."

"Can I hug you man - just hug you?"

His answer was in the open arms of Gil Grissom. He stepped into them, circled his arms around Gil's back and leaned his head on his shoulder. He felt loved and safe and thought....'so this is what it feels like'.

Part Five

Nick returned to work that night and caused a ripple to pulse around the briefing room. He'd had three days of beard growth, not having bothered to shave when he fell ill, but before coming in to work this evening, he'd gone to shave and then thought he'd maybe try out a goatee beard for a change. Gil had looked bemused when he’d picked him up for work – he’d just raised his eyebrows and Nick had done the same right back.

Catherine was plainly somewhat disturbed by it. "Nicky, you look sooo......I don't know....sexy.....yep.....sexy.....!"

Nick blushed to the roots of his hair and then some. He didn't want to look sexy for her.......and Gil was looking at him strangely and Catherine had called him 'Nicky'.

"Catherine....." Geez, he sounded like an adolescent, whining. "Stop it...it's not...sexy...it's a goatee....is all."

Catherine wasn't going to let go now she had him squirming, and Nick knew he'd played right into her hands. "Well, you're all pale and interesting from being sick and you have a black 'goatee' beard...I'd say that was 'sexy'...what do you think Sara?"

Sara was not in the least interested in Nick's beard, however, Gil's was another matter; she didn't want to be seen as a spoil sport so she joined in. "Now you mention it Cath, he has an interesting look going on - you're right about the pale, sort of 'Byronic' features and the dark beard.....yeah the guy could be officially, 'sexy'."

Warrick and Greg were also taken up in the banter and it was Greg's turn. "So this is what the ladies like.....'Byron'...goatees and ‘Nickeee’"

"We know the look we need to go for then....the pale bit’s going to be....."

"That's enough...come on, work to do....and it won't get done while we're here wasting time." Gil was furious. How dare they take the piss out of Nick, his Nicky - he'd make Catherine pay. He looked down at the assignments and mentally shuffled them. He sent Warrick out to Boulder on his own, Greg to an assault, already in the hospital, Sara to a suspected arson and for Catherine. "A body in a dumpster, back of the 'Nugget'." Smile wiped off her face.

"Ughhhh, on my own, can't Nicky come with me?"

"As you said yourself, he's still pale, so it's wise for him to stay in the lab and work on his ongoing cases. If something else comes up he can come out with me. Come on lets get this show on the road." He got up and almost ran out of the room. They all looked after the retreating figure.

"What's crawled up his ass?" Catherine started but the others all shook their heads, even Nick. Although he hoped he knew exactly what was wrong.

"Mr 'pale and interesting' is 'his master's favourite' tonight." This was Greg.

"Yeah, I am, so do as the man says and get the 'show on the road', and when you're out there, free and easy, think of me, here, stuck with a bad tempered Grissom." That should do the trick.

"You're not wrong, man." Greg agreed.

They were all gone in ten minutes.

Nick had quite a lot of work outstanding and he was actually glad of some spare time to play catch up. But, he wanted to see Gil, who was in his office, door closed - quite unusual for him. So Nick kept at his work for a couple of hours and then stole some of Greg's 'special' coffee, from his secret stash, that no one, except the entire lab, knew where it was hidden. The coffee ready, he took two mugs to Gil's office.

"Coffee break, Gris?" 'Gris' at work, but he was thinking of a pet name for out of work - but would need a lot of courage to use it.

"That would be good, thanks Nick."

Nick let the door close behind him again; he wanted a little privacy, even if the place was a goldfish bowl. "You calmed down now, man?"

"Yes...actually a dose of anger works wonders for getting my paperwork done...I've cleared more than usual."

"I think it had more to do with the closed door and the.....tantrum......everyone's steering clear."

"Oh God, does everyone know.....of course they do! I'm sorry Nick I shouldn't have let a little teasing aggravate me...but...I didn't think about the 'goatee'...and what the ladies might say – you might have warned me."

"What, about them joking around…I had no idea."

"Well....yes....errrr...Catherine is right......it's......a...good look on you."

"Sexy, right?" Nick was about to laugh, but Gil looked very serious. He didn't speak though he just nodded at Nick and Nick managed one of his spectacular smiles.

"I'll shave it off, it itches anyway."

"You don't have to...."

"I so do...Catherine ain't gonna leave this alone - especially after you sent to her to a dumpster, man, you're brave."

"No. Foolish. I'm foolish for drawing attention to us and it'll stop now, believe me."

Nick looked horrified.

"No, Nicky, at work, at work. Please don't worry. Do you think I should shave off my beard?"

The change of subject astounded Nick. "Why would you do that?"

"Change of scenery. If you shave your goatee off I can empathise, besides you know I grow it and shave it off, on a whim."

"No I didn't, why?"

"'Cause it's on a whim, that's what it means, no plan - I just do....."

"Contrary to your Californian learning, you do know they do schooling in Texas, don't you?"

Gil looked at Nick and was about to apologise when he saw the look on his face and the shine in his eyes. He threw his hands up. "I AM Dr Grissom you know, world renowned idiot!" They both laughed and Nick left feeling on top of the world but he would have a go at Catherine. He wasn't that much of a push over.

If the night before had cause a 'ripple' in the lab, the next night was more like a tsunami. Nick's goatee was gone and Catherine was right there.

"Can't stand the heat then, Nicky?"

"Not the heat Catherine - I live in Vegas, remember? It was itching, man, I forgot about the itching. How do you manage when your Brazilian starts to re-grow?"

"How…....oh, nice one, Nicky!"

"You just looked like a 'Brazilian' sort of gal to me, Cathy!"

"Don't call me 'Cathy'....you know I hate it!"

"Really? I thought you were into 'ee's'. You know 'goatEE', NickEE."

"Ooooohh, Nick'ee' is on the offensive here - knife drawn and sharpened." Greg was right in the fray

"You......" Was as far as Nick got because Gil strode purposefully into the room. And everyone's focus was on him. Nick laughed.

"Something funny Nick?" Gil asked.

"No boss." Nick could not stop himself smirking. "My loss of facial hair pales into insignificance alongside your...'loss'....and Catherine's Brazilian, I guess!"

"Catherine's......?"

"Don't go there, Gil." Catherine groaned.

"I feel as if I've entered some sort of twilight zone." Gil knew about Nick's 'loss', but what was this about Catherine.

"Why have you shaved your beard off, Gris?" Sara couldn't cope with not knowing.

"A....friend.....well....I just did, okay?"

"Who?" It was NOT okay.

"Sara, it's of no consequence, come on, work everyone, this is beyond a joke....well except Catherine's Brazilian, that is." They all laughed; Catherine knew that Nick had won that little skirmish.

And so their 'dating' continued. They shared breakfasts and dinners four or five times a week. They went up to Lake Mead and did some bird and bug watching again and against Nick's better judgment he was persuaded to go and see the Polish film, with subtitles. This time, however, he was pleasantly surprised, or more accurately unpleasantly surprised; it was a psychological thriller with some really scary moments...and as Gil discovered, the Crime Scene Investigator who could deal with death, and goodness knows what else, was scared witless by these 'moments'.

At one scene he very nearly jumped out of his seat and grabbed hold of Gil's arm - Gil put a hand over his and squeezed it and Nick had difficulty in concentrating on the remainder of the film. That was all, though; there was no more physical contact between the two men.

Nick was okay about it, he still attended his therapy sessions and still contended that he could and would deal with the lack of a physical relationship. Funnily enough, Ed thought that Gil would eventually succumb; it was not unheard of for heterosexual men and women to fall in love with members of the same sex and have homosexual relationships. Strangely, history proved that these relationships were longstanding and faithful affairs, mainly because they were based on a very real love between the parties, and not just the sexual aspect.

Time would tell. Nick's other issues, primarily with his parents, were gradually being sorted. Nick, in his heart of hearts, knew that he was an unwanted child and the feelings he'd had throughout his life of worthlessness, mirrored this knowledge. But, he just needed to grasp that it wasn't his fault, that he'd done nothing to deserve his fate and then keep that mindset. It was easier said than done.

Gil thought that he should be doing 'more' in his relationship with Nick; he'd actually gone back to see Ed on his own, and discussed this. But the major factor, despite the 'nothing ventured, nothing gained' adage, was taking their time, being comfortable in their decisions, Gil's decisions. Besides, Ed and Gil both thought that the 'relationship' was moving forward slowly, but surely.

Gil was reminded that just by being a close and supportive friend to Nick he was being the most stable influence in Nick’s life. Gil liked that and was very content to be that friend, because, in truth, it was the closest relationship he'd ever had and he too, was reaping a great many rewards from his developing life with Nick. The therapist knew this too and was pleased to be helping these men, especially Nick.


Part Six

Catherine had just caught sight of someone and moved around a couple of slow moving browsers to get a better look. Her first thought was right, it was Nick......and well I never...he was with Gil. Gil Grissom.

Nick had never been to a street market in his life. He wasn't much of a shopper anyway, if you ruled out clothes and food, and clothes, and games, and clothes, and CDs, and clothes, then he didn't do much shopping. So the thought of browsing around stalls filled with what - rubbish - did not appeal to him at all but Gil had put on a pleading voice and an extremely sickly sweet smile, so with an eye roll, an exaggerated shoulder shrug and even a sigh, Nick had caved. They both knew he was going to anyway and their smiles to each other told them so.

So here they were browsing and Nick had never seen so much rubbish, not actually on a dump site, in his life. But, Gil could ferret out a thing or two, and within an hour had picked up a neglected old ship's compass for five bucks. He said that it was brass and that he would restore it to its former glory and present it to Nick. Nick's eyes had shone with pride that Gil would do something like that for him.

Gil thought it was just a small gesture but he had been humbled by Nick's unrestrained joy at the promise. He reminded himself not to underestimate just how 'damaged' Nick was from the years of parental neglect and the abuse he'd suffered. He hid it well, but Gil knew it was always there, just under the surface.

Gil had also found an old and tattered teddy bear. He wouldn't have normally given it a second look but Nick had seemed quite taken with it, so Gil had bought it, and although he couldn't restore it himself, he was sure there would be someone in or around Las Vegas who could do it and then he would have another present for Nick, though he didn't tell Nick that bit. What amazed Gil was the thought that he was going to give these small presents to Nick, caused him to feel happy.....yes...he was happy.

They laughed and browsed for a couple of hours, then had a 'lunch' - an unusual daytime meal for them, they were usually asleep - and then went home to their respective beds to ready themselves for their work that evening.

As usual they were seated waiting for their assignments; Gil had just arrived and settled himself down, chatting with Warrick about a case.

Catherine said, very casually. "Didn't expert to see you at the market up in Henderson, Nick." She'd seen the two men laughing and joking as they made their way down a row of stalls. Gil picking up an item or two and showing Nick, who'd nodded or laughed at Gil's observations and had made Gil laugh in return. It was 'odd', no, not odd, it was 'strange', no, not strange, it was...she had no idea what, she couldn't put her finger on it, it just wasn't 'normal' - that's all she could come up with.

Hah, so it was Catherine's back he'd seen, just momentarily, between stalls. "First time ever Catherine, Gil, apparently, is a regular browser, so volunteered to show me the ropes. He picked a bargain too - although..." (And here he leaned forward conspiratorially) "....I only have his word for it!"

Gil had listened to the exchange and was so pleased that Nick had told him he was almost certain he'd seen Catherine at the market. So, over lunch, they'd formulated a response to the almost certain questioning they'd get from Catherine.

Catherine was blindsided, she was sure she'd been discreet and unseen. Damn. She knew she was outed and that further questioning would be futile. But then a thought struck her. This was a 'staged' response. They'd seen her and had a reply ready and waiting, now that was 'odd' and 'strange' indeed.

Nick didn't notice but even as she thought the thought, Gil picked it up, Catherine was putting two and two together and making, well it was Catherine, so it was it was likely to be about an 'eight'. If she then paired up with Jim......so be it.....was Gil's immediate response to himself. He then looked up and seemingly into space, 'so be it', he wasn't bothered by the thought of exposure, of course, there was nothing to expose but friendship...yet. But even so, he felt relaxed and philosophical about it. He was suddenly aware that he was being addressed, by Sara.

"Why did you take Nick to the market?" Her voice was betraying her hurt, and there was a lull in the murmured conversations around the table.

"I didn't 'take' him Sara, we just went for a look around, like he said, he'd never been to a street market. Right, assignments..."

"But how did you know he wanted to go?" She was heading for a fall, they all knew.

Gil took his glasses off and looked at Sara. "I'm very tempted to say he wrote me a long letter, begging me to take him; called my cell day and night, e-mailed me constantly...Sara you've got a DB in...Henderson."

She snatched the assignment, threw her chair back as she got up and stomped out of the room.

"Nice." Commented Greg, and when all eyes fell upon him said, "What?"

"Assignments."

Catherine stayed behind when the others had gone and made her way to Gil's office.

"So...what's going on then?"

Straight for the jugular - this was the Catherine he knew and loved. "Going on? Have I missed something here Catherine...Sara?"

"Not Sara, Nick. When did you take anyone to a street market Gil?"

"This morning actually - why is this such a big thing Catherine, for God's sake are you and Sara stalking me?"

"Sara most probably is, or will be now. No Gil, you're being deliberately obtuse here, well more obtuse than you normally are....this is not 'normal' behaviour for you."

Catherine had stepped over a line here and they both new it. "'Normal', Catherine, 'normal' behaviour? Do you know I could very easily take offence at your implication here? I have been to a street market...a street market, you know, in a street, out in the open, with a member of my team, just having an enjoyable couple of hours and I'm subjected to a third degree from Sara and snide remarks from you."

"I'm sorry....."

"Well, Catherine what I'd like to know is why, when you saw Nick and myself, you didn't come and speak to us, pass the time of day, that's what friends do isn't it? You know Nick thought he saw you, but then discounted it because he thought that if it really had been you, you would have stopped and chatted. What is it you want to know, that I've befriended Nick, when you, yourself, told me to be more involved, what, Catherine?" He'd given a little too much away for his liking but he was pissed now - let her go tittle-tattling with Jim, he really didn't care.

"I am sorry Gil, I had no intention to......whatever...and I know that you were at a street market; its just that you seemed so friendly and happy Gil, and even you have to admit that that is not how you are.....normally."

"Thank you for that Catherine." Gil was on an angry roll here. "And how would you know what I'm like out of work, since we only share breakfasts or dinners before or after work and go to work functions. Did you ever go to a street market with me?"

"No.... Look I am sorry and I won't be so presumptuous again...its good that you're..."'

"Catherine, don't dig the hole any deeper."

"No....okay...but, Gil...be careful of Sara, she is utterly focussed on you to the exclusion of everything and everyone else. Okay."

"Okay, yeah, thanks."

Catherine went to leave the office but she was absolutely determined to get the last word in. "Oh, and Gil.....you did look happy."

Gil smirked, if she teamed up her knowledge with Jim's snippet he wondered what on earth they'd come up with. But, Sara? He knew she was a loose cannon and could be dangerous. To both of them, but especially Nick, but Nick was the most important thing in his life so he'd...... He sat up straight in his seat, 'Nick was the most important.....'

He relaxed back into the seat and it was as if he'd had a huge warm wave wash over him - Nick, he loved him and he knew there and then that he wanted him and it wasn't in a father-son way, at all. Nick Stokes was the most important person, 'man', in his life and he would do anything for him and that, he'd just realised, would include leaving this lab if necessary. He'd never admit it to Catherine, because he could make perversity an art form, but he was happier than he'd ever been in his life. Ever.

He picked up his cell and speed dialled Nick. "Hey."

"What's wrong?" A clearly anxious Nick asked.

"Absolutely nothing Nicky, absolutely nothing."

"That's good then, babe, that's good."

The End of Upping the Ante….tbc with ‘Four times in twenty four hours’… in three weeks time, after my holiday! (Did I mention my holiday???)