Title: Very, Very Bad Fic
By: geekwriter
Pairing: Greg/Arche, Nick/Greg, and a threesome I'm so not even going to mention again
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: verb tenses that change within sentences, Hilary Duff song lyrics, sole mates, and pervy things done in popcorn buckets. I am so sorry.
Summary: So, um...people in the SGA fandom were writing bad!fic on purpose to be funny, so I followed their lead and wrote CSI bad!fic on purpose to be funny and, um...I am so ashamed of myself. Really, I am.

***

Title: Cry
Pairing: Nick/Greg OTP forever but maybe not??? Red to find out!
Rating: NC17 alot
Summmary: Nicks a flirty slut and Gregs upset because Nicks his boyfriend so he goes out with Archie to make Nick jelus but it maybe goes too far? I suck at summarys, so just read it to find out.
a/n: OMG I drank so much Dr. Pepper and then I ate cheesecake and ice cream and some candy I found in my purse and then I had a mountain Dew and saw a picture of Greg and hes soooooo hot that I just had to rite this and inclue my total favorite song ever! Hilary Duff is soooo pretty, can you imagine if she and Greg had babies? Theyd be the cutest babies in the hole world--OMG, leav a review if you want me to write that as a fic!
Feedback: yes but no flames u h8rz! Im just doing this four fun so there!
 
 
So Nick's in the lab looking all hot and he sees David and he winks at him becuz he thinks Greg is out of the lab but hes not.

Oh, that slutty Nick! Greg thinks. He thinks I wont see him being all flirting but I do and hes just going to have another thing coming! So Greg goes to the lab room with the tvs where Archie works and said Do you want to go to a movie with me later? And Archie says yes becuz Greg's so hot.

So Greg and Archie go to the movies and Greg makes a whole in the bottom of his popcorn and puts his thing through it so when Archie reaches in he touches Gregs thing and forgets all about King Kong because wow! Gregs even bigger than the dinosaur!!1!

So Archie rubbed Gregs thing all through the movie and it was all slick with hot popcurn butter and then Greg goes UUUUUUHHHH URRRR UUUUNG becuz Archies hand feels soo good he cummed right there and Archie liks the popcorn butter and the stuff from Gregs thing off his fingers and thinks that King Kong is the best move ever.

Greg feels really bad tho because Nicks his boyfriend 4ever and he just did a bad thing with Archie so he started to crie and their in the parking lot and Archie says Whats wrong Greg I thought you liked what I did? And Greg says I did but I love Nick! And Archie understands and he crys too becuz he never wanted to come between Nick and Gregs perfect love but he always wanted to touch Gregs thing so he did. So Archie hugs him and said I wont tell Nick and Greg stops crieing and hugs Archie back and he feels ARchies thing hard against his stomoch and says Hey! I love Nick and I can't do anything with you Archie you slut!

Archie says That's OK you jus tmake me hard but you don't have to touch my thing because secretly Im living with Bobby and his boyfriend and the three of us are a couple.

Oh wow, Greg said, I didn't know that its really hot. If Nick and I don't brake up becuz he flirts too much and I let you touch my thing can we come over and all five of us have sex?

And archie says OK, but I have to tell you a secret--Bobbys boyfriend is Captin Brass! And Greg says He's kind of old but he's funny so that's hot so its OK, well do it it if Nick forgives me for what I did with you.

And then Greg goes home to his big house that he shares with Nick only it's a secret because it looks like its two houses only its not because its one house stuck together to look like two houses with two doors and two driveways and too garages and everything so people think that he and Nick just live nect door to each other. So Greg went inside and says Nick, where are you? And Nicks there on his bed touching his thing and making it all hard and red with his hand.

I was thinking about you all night how was your movie? Nick asks.

It was good Greg says, but then he feels so bad becuz of what he did with the popcorn bucket that he starts to crie and he covers his face with his hands.

What is it lover? Nick asks really worried. Whats wrong are you disgusted with me? And he thinks that Gregs upset because he was touching himself but that usually doesn't bother Greg but maybe hes mad because Nick started without him.

I didn't mean to touch myself, I know its bad and God says nto to but when I think about you my thing Gets hard and I wont to touch it so bad that I can't stop Nick says.

No I'm not mad at you Greg says crying really ahrd. Tonite at the movie I let Archie touch my thing and I cumed right in the popcurn bucket and he licked it off his fingers. I was just so mad at you becuz your always flirting with Hodges and you act like such a slut can you ever fogrgive me?

And Nick says No! You had sex with Archie and I thought you were my lover not his! And he locks himself in the bathroom and he cries and cries and then he cuts himself because hes very sad.

In his half of the house (that looks like two houses but its not) Greg was listening to music really loud because he wants to forget everything bad he ever did with Archie at the movie. Hes listening to Hilary Duff and he turns it up even louder so Nick cant hear him crying.

****~~~~~*****#####*****~~~~*~**~****

Cry love
Cry war
Cry innocence
That is lost forever more
Cry joy
Cry thief
Cry beautiful
That is just beyond belief
So I

Cry at the end
Cry 'cause it all begins again
Here you are
And so am I
And we cry

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***#*#*#*#*#*######******~~~~

He rapped his arms around himself and rocked back and forth on the floor becuz he know that he shultn't have gotten angry with Nick just for a wink at Hodges becuz he had done something so much worse. He was so awful just because his thing had gotten hard and sometimes he wished he doesn't have it at all except that would make it hard to do it to Nick and he liked it so much when he and Nick did it like they were so connected at their souls.

***~~~~~~######~~~~~*******~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~***

Cry alone
Cry to me
Cry freedom
Then let yourself be free
To shed the tears
That have to flow
To hold somebody close to you
And then to let them go

Cry peace
Cry hate
Cry faithlessness
Then just have a little faith

Cry at the end
Cry 'cause it all begins again
Here you are
And so am I
And we try to be true
Try 'cause we're only passing through

[these lyrics are Hilary Duffs she tottaly rawks! Lindsy Lohans a hor!}

***#####~~~~*~~~~~####~*######$~~*

And Nick comes upstairs and hes got bandaids on his arms from where he was cutting and he felt so guilty about it becuz it scares Greg when he does it.

I love this song so much Nick said and Greg jumps about a hundred feet because the music was so loud he didn't hear Nick coming into his room.

I love this song too Nick and I love you. Can you ever forgive me for what I did?

And Nick says I don't know and Greg starts to cry even harder and his hole body is shaking so hard because Nick has to not be mad at him because their sole mates forever and ever.

And Nick says OK I wont be mad at you but you hurt my feelings rilly bad and Greg said I kno I did and Im so sorry and I wont ever do that again I promise you but I feel so bad when you flirt with other people. And Nicks like I never want anyone but you baby and Greg cried again but this time becuz hes happy.

I love you more than anything in the whole world! Nick cries as he carried Greg to bed.

I love you even more! Greg screams with extasy and he and Nick do it rite there with the windows open so the neighbors could see in if there were somewhere close, maybe in the backyard or even in their own yards if they had binoculars.

OHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHH UNNNNNNGGGGG! says Nick.

UNNNNNG AHHHHHH OHHHHHH UNNNNNNGGGGG! says Greg.

And they both cum so hard that they faint and collaps rite there on the bed holding each other so tight forever and ever becuz there soul mates and was true love.

TBC???!! Will Bobby and Archie and Nick and Greg and Brass all do it with ech other?!! Plz review if you want this to happen becuz im only going to rite it if people tell me they wont to.