Title: Bottom of the Glass
Author: trek
Pairing: Horatio/Speed
Rating: NC-17
Note: There are slight spoilers for 'Dispo Day' and 'Lost Son', although I've tinkered with events slightly.
Summary: Emotional turmoil for Horatio, Speed tries to help.

***

Lieutenant Horatio Caine had been sitting at the bar for... well he wasn't really sure how long he'd been sitting there or quite how much he'd had to drink. Signalling to the barman another scotch appeared in front of him. Horatio paused for only a moment and then downed the contents in one go.

"I think it's time to call it a night, H."

The soft, deep voice startled Horatio momentarily while his sluggish brain attempted to identify it.

"Speed," Horatio raised his now empty glass in greeting.

"C'mon H, let's settle up and get you out of here." Horatio made no effort to move in response to Speed's request. Speed sighed and glanced around the dark bar before reaching towards Horatio. "Fine then," Speed grabbed Horatio's wallet out of his jacket pocket. He was glad to see that H had removed his gun and concealed his badge within the inside pocket. Speed pulled several bills out of the wallet and passed them to the barman, "Don't worry about the change, he's feeling generous tonight."

Slipping the wallet back inside Horatio's jacket Speed then used the lapels to pull him to his feet. Horatio didn't put up a fight and rose obediently.

"I can walk out of here on my own." Horatio's quiet statement was directed to his feet but Speed got the message and took a step back. As they walked towards the exit Speed was surprised at how steady Horatio was considering the sizeable bar bill Speed had just settled up for him.

They walked in silence to Speed's car, allowing Tim the opportunity to study his Lieutenant. Horatio's head was down and his shoulder's slumped. Tim had watched over the last few weeks as Horatio had sunk deeper into his introverted personality. Horatio was spending more and more time holed up in the lab, he was there when they arrived and still there when they left. Tim strongly suspected that Horatio now only returned home for the bare minimum of sleep and a change of clothes. The most troubling element in this was that Speed had no idea what had caused Horatio's decline. There was no sudden switch or easily identifiable cause, but there was definitely something weighing heavily on the Lieutenant's mind.

As they drove towards Horatio's house Speed continued to think over Horatio's recent behaviour while the subject of his scrutiny stared blankly out the window. Neither spoke, and in all honesty Speed had no idea what to say.

Speed pulled up outside the building and they both climbed out of the car. Horatio made no protest as Speed followed him. Horatio pulled out his keys and fumbled with the lock while having difficulty getting his eyes to focus.

"Here," Speed reached out and took the keys from Horatio and opened the door.

Horatio studied his shoelaces before walking through the open door, "Thanks."

"I'll put some coffee on," Speed offered as Horatio pulled off his suit jacket, laying it over the back of a chair.

Horatio slumped down into his couch and buried his head in his hands while Tim disappeared into the kitchen. Speed returned a few minutes later and placed a mug of coffee on the table in front of Horatio before sitting in the chair opposite.

"I have absolutely no idea what to say to you right now, Horatio." The frank confession startled Horatio enough to lift his head and regard Speed with curiosity.

"I didn't really expect you to say anything," Horatio mumbled, mostly to himself.

"What? You honestly thought that I was gonna get called out to some crappy bar at one o'clock in the morning to come get you, then when I do find you, you're drunk off your ass and have nothing to say about it?" At that Horatio once again raised his head, this time to protest but Speed carried on before he could. "Don't try to deny it, H. You hide it well, but you are so close to passing out right now. I have no idea how you thought you were gonna get home tonight, but you sure as hell wouldn't have been able to make it here on your own. You can't focus your eyes, and you can barely manage to walk in a straight line. Drink the coffee; you've got five hours to sober up before we have to be back at the lab."

For a moment Speed thought Horatio was actually going to object to drinking the coffee but then he picked up the cup and began sipping it absently.

"I didn't intend to drink this much."

Speed regarded Horatio gently hoping he would open up to him. Unfortunately this hope was in vain, Horatio continued to drink his coffee in silence.

Speed took a deep breath. "H, what's been going on with you lately?"

"Not a lot."

"H!"

"What do you want me to say?!" Horatio exclaimed loudly flinging his arms out wide, narrowly avoiding throwing coffee across the room. It was a rare occasion that Speed had heard Horatio raise his voice, but this was something different. There was a sense of desperation in those words and Speed wasn't sure what to say to him. Thankfully he was spared the dilemma when Horatio carried on talking. "Look, you're right I'm drunk and I have no idea what's going on in my own head right now. Can we please, not have this conversation tonight?"

"You need to have this conversation."

"That, is becoming apparent."

"You gonna be alright for the rest of the night?"

Horatio nodded. Speed lifted himself out of the chair and gathered up the coffee cups and took them back out to the kitchen. Before walking out of the apartment Speed turned back to Horatio, "We are going to have this conversation."

The door closed quietly after Speed leaving Horatio to stare after him for a long moment, "I know." Horatio could still feel his head spinning and knew that he would be feeling the effect this night come the morning. Kicking off his shoes Horatio sprawled out across the length of the couch and passed out where he was.

***

Speed watched Horatio carefully the next morning at the lab and had to admit that Horatio didn't look like a man who had been as drunk as he had been the previous night. The signs were there, of course, if you knew to look for them. His eyes weren't as bright as they usually were, there was a darkness now surrounding them much like it surrounded the man himself. However, Horatio being Horatio, there was of course an easy way to hide this: his ever present sunglasses spent less time being fiddled with and more time being worn. The lieutenant looked like he had forgotten to shave; there was a faint line of stubble now visible. His walk was off too. There seemed to be less certainty and purpose to his movements as if everything he did required a much greater amount of thought before it could be carried out. The final sign that Speed noted which indicated his boss was in fact feeling the effects of the night before was the coffee he carried around with him throughout the day. They were all caffeine junkies, it was the nature of the job, but today Horatio was taking this need to an extreme.

Horatio for his part tried to keep himself as focused on work as he could but, despite his best efforts, he knew his mind was wandering and the case was not getting his full attention. This only added to his growing sense of guilt. Horatio knew that Speed had been keeping a close eye on him all day, the young CSI had given his boss a once over when he had arrived that morning and the Lieutenant was sure that Speed would have been able to immediately tell he wasn't at his best. The combination of alcohol and an exceptionally poor night's sleep had taken its toll on Horatio. He had awoken later than usual, stiff and sore from a night spent on the couch, and had rushed to get ready for the day ahead.

Sitting with his back to his office door Horatio was staring into space when he felt someone hovering behind him.

"You can come in."

There was some shuffling behind him and then the sound of the door closing. Horatio continued to sit with his back to his desk but turned eventually when he could no longer bear the feeling of Speed's gaze on his back.

"What can I do for you?"

"You can go home," Speed told him.

Horatio sat up straighter in his chair, "Excuse me?"

"Go home. It's late, you've been working all day with what I can only assume is one hell of a hangover and I doubt you got any meaningful sleep last night. Go home and don't do anything stupid."

"Anything stupid? What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" Horatio could feel his anger building up and desperately tried to maintain a sense of calm. He knew Speed was worried about him and only trying to help, but that knowledge wasn't helping.

Speed took a deep breath and let it out as a long sigh, "It means don't go for a repeat of last night, coz it's really not gonna help solve any problems." Speed took another deep breath, "Look, I'm not trying to be all over you about this but you and I still need to talk about whatever the hell it is that last night was all about." Speed raised a hand to stop Horatio from jumping in "I know now is not the best time for this. Neither of us is really in any state to have this conversation right now, I didn't exactly get a lot of sleep last night either," Horatio dropped his head and looked guilty. "Please just go home."

Horatio knew Speed was right and decided there was no point in even pretending to fight him on this. So instead he simply said, "OK," and rose from his chair.

"Thank you," Speed said as he turned and headed back towards the door but was stopped but a quiet question from Horatio.

"When would you like to have this conversation?"

Speed turned back to Horatio. "This isn't about me H. We'll have this conversation whenever you want to."

Horatio studied his shoes intently for a several long moments while he summoned his nerve. "Come over Saturday night," this first part had been addressed to his shoelaces but now Horatio lifted his head and made the rest of the invitation directly to Speed, "I'll cook dinner and we can talk." Hints of a shy smile were beginning at the edges of Horatio's mouth.

Speed was slightly shocked by the openness of Horatio's invitation but was glad to see an actual willingness on the other mans part to open up about what was troubling him. "That sounds good. Thank you, Horatio," Speed paused and decided there really was nothing else left to be said tonight. "Good night, H," with that Speed turned and left the office.

***

Dinner had been a relatively quiet affair. They talked about a variety of topics, only skimming over anything work related, and entirely avoiding anything to do with the real reason why they were dining together. That was a conversation which would require their full attention.

Speed had been content to let Horatio set the pace for their evening, but was now growing slightly concerned that he was being far too efficient at avoiding the issue.

"Do you want a beer?" Horatio asked, glancing at Speed as he began clearing away the dishes. They had both been drinking wine with their meal, but now beer was to be the more appropriate beverage of choice.

"Sure," Speed replied, eyeing Horatio suspiciously. "H-"

"I know," Horatio interrupted, well aware that he had spent the majority of the evening stalling for time. "Let me finish clearing away. Then we can sit outside and talk," Horatio said, gesturing to the expensive decking at the back of his house.

Speed nodded, waiting while Horatio rinsed off the dishes and loaded up the dishwasher. When he was done Horatio grabbed two beers out of the fridge, opened them, and passed one to Speed before leading the younger man outside. Both men stepped out into the cooler night air, a soft breeze breaking the heat and humidity of daytime in Miami.

Horatio chose to stand and pace while Speed, feeling his role in this would be to listen while Horatio talked, took a seat in the closest available chair.

It was several long moments before Horatio finally found his voice again. "I've been... distant, lately," he began. Speed nodded, urging him to continue. "I've been, withdrawing, from the team. I think it was an effort on my part, to protect myself." Horatio was hesitant, not used to opening up in this way. "I thought that setting some distance from all of you would be for the best in the long run."

"Why?" Speed asked suddenly. He had intended to let Horatio talk himself out but had felt compelled to interrupt.

Horatio turned to look at Speed, leaning back against the railing and taking a long, slow gulp of beer.

"I watched you get shot," Horatio said finally, his voice faltering slightly at the memory. "I watched you get shot, and I was scared... scared of losing you. For the second time, I thought I was going to watch you die." Horatio's voice was quiet now, but still Speed could hear the raw emotion and found he was no longer able to hold eye contact with him.

"I don't remember much of what happened in the jewellery store," Speed admitted slowly.

Horatio nodded, "I know." But he remembered. Horatio remembered every moment, clear in his memory. The horrifying sound of Speed's gun clicking helplessly as it misfired. The sickening sound as the bullet tore through Speed's flesh. The feel of blood surging out of Speed's body. Holding his hand over the wound desperately trying to stop the flow while calling, begging, for help. All of this was seared into Horatio's memory.

Neither man spoke for several long minutes, both lost in that day.

Speed was first to find his voice. "We have dangerous jobs, Horatio. You know that, possibly better than anyone else. Shutting yourself off from everyone won't make things any easier should the unthinkable happen," Speed said reasonably.

"Tim, you know there is more to it than that."

Speed looked down at his beer bottle again, willing Horatio not to follow the line of conversation he now thought was imminent.

"I've been withdrawing from you Tim, more than anyone else. This, all started, with dispo day."

Speed rose from his chair, now pacing on the opposite side of the deck from Horatio.

"H, we agreed. We agreed, that some things were better left unsaid." There was an audible note of desperation in Speed's voice.

"And they were left unsaid. So, I withdrew from you, didn't check that you were actually cleaning your weapon and you got shot!" The spark of anger was gone, almost as quickly as it had appeared. Horatio took a deep breath, calming himself, and looked expectantly at Speed.

"I admit that I can be careless with maintaining my weapon. It was my carelessness and bad luck that got me shot, not you, Horatio. I should know better. I do know better." Speed quit his pacing, slumping back down into the chair he had been occupying, head in his hands. "I could have gotten you killed. That thought alone scares me more than you will ever know," Speed admitted quietly.

"Maybe, it is something I should know."

Once again Speed resumed pacing, while Horatio continued to lean against the railing. Horatio pushed away from the rail, moving to collect both his and Speed's empty bottles, allowing the other man to collect his thoughts. Disappearing, briefly, into the house Horatio returned with two more beers. Passing one to Speed, Horatio returned to his previous position.

"This has always been about you and me, Speed."

"H, we agreed. After dispo day, we agreed not to have this conversation. No matter what we may feel for each other, we can't do this," Speed was nearly pleading with Horatio now.

"I think, it is more than time we had this conversation," Horatio continued on. "Ignoring our feelings has not made them disappear. Speed, I'm not going to deny my attraction to you. Nor will I deny that my feelings for you go far beyond friendship." Horatio took a deep breath before concluding his thoughts, "I can't keep denying this. I can't keep pulling away."

Horatio took a couple of quick strides towards Speed, stepping in close to the younger man, forcing him to make eye contact.

Not breaking that eye contact, Horatio slowly slipped his right hand against Speed's cheek. Horatio leaned towards Speed, tentatively brushing their lips together. Speed didn't pull away, Horatio pushed forward increasing the contact. Their mouths pressed together, lips parting instinctively. Slowly their tongues darted forward, sweeping together. Horatio slid his hand from Speed's cheek to his neck, drawing him closer.

The demand for oxygen grew too great and the pair pulled apart. They maintained close proximity for a few short moments, before Speed abruptly took a step backwards breaking all contact with Horatio.

"H, I can't. I'm sorry." Speed turned and, without letting Horatio say a word, headed back into the house.

Horatio did not go after him; he heard the front door close quietly. Once again, Horatio gathered the two beer bottles before entering his now empty home.

As he passed the liquor cabinet, Horatio removed a bottle of whisky and picked up a glass. Sitting down on the couch, Horatio place both items on the coffee table in front of him.

He stared at the bottle for a long thoughtful moment before finally rising to his feet and retiring to bed.

***

Horatio Caine, dressed casually in khakis and a light shirt, opened his front door and found Tim Speedle shuffling his feet nervously, twisting a motorcycle helmet between his hands. Speed looked even more rumpled than usual, if such a thing were even possible. He was wearing a combination of old faded jeans and t-shirt; he hadn't bothered to shave at all over the weekend. Despite his own casual attire, Horatio still looked well presented next to Speed.

"Hi," Speed little more than mumbled, lifting his head only slightly to glance at Horatio.

Without saying a word in reply, Horatio simply stepped back from the doorway allowing Speed to enter the house. Speed walked the familiar path to the living room, depositing his helmet on an empty table top, with Horatio trailing behind him.

"You want something to drink?" Horatio asked, attempting to alleviate some of the awkwardness which had settled between the two.

"No, thanks, I'm fine." Speed was not really paying attention to Horatio as he stood in the middle of his living room. Instead, he was staring fixedly at the half empty bottle of whisky which still remained on the coffee table.

Horatio followed Speed's gaze as he asked, "Did you drink that?"

"No," Horatio found himself slightly annoyed by Speed's quick assumption. Crossing the room, Horatio lifted the bottle and returned it to its rightful home.

"H, you know-"

"Yes, Speed, I know that the answers to my problems don't lie at the bottom of a bottle," Horatio defended himself quickly, wanting to move past this point.

Speed nodded.

Neither man spoke. The pair maintained an uncomfortable silence, standing on opposite sides of the room.

Finally, Speed dropped heavily on to the couch.

"We need to talk about what happened last night," he stated firmly.

Horatio made a sound of agreement, "Mmm hmm," as he too sat down.

"That wasn't the conversation I thought we were going to have, Horatio," Speed admitted uncertainly, still not sure what he really wanted to say.

"It was, the conversation we needed to have," Horatio countered, locking eyes with Speed.

Speed was unable to hold Horatio's intense gaze, he didn't want the other man to be able to easily read his uncertainty.

Speed decided to take a different approach to opening up this conversation, "I wanted to apologise for running out on you last night."

Horatio nodded, "It's alright. I know I took you by surprise, kissing you."

"Yeah," Speed agreed. Abruptly, Speed rose to his feet and began pacing around the room. "God, H! This is exactly the reason why we agreed to let this go. Everything is too complicated." Speed paused, taking a deep breath, "I fucked up on dispo day. But you came to me that night; you came to make sure I was ok. That night we started down a path that we wouldn't have been able to come back from."

"Nothing has changed," Horatio interrupted quietly. "We started down that path and right now we, are in exactly the same place. We can't, I can't, keep pretending we are nothing more than friends." Horatio rose to his feet and walked slowly over to Speed. "Tim, can you honestly say your feelings have changed, that you don't want this?"

"I don't know what I want," Speed admitted, looking desperately into Horatio's eyes.

Horatio nodded. They were both silent now, standing close in each others personal space. Despite the internal conflict both were feeling, they found themselves slowly edging closer to each other. Their lips met softly, delicately, at first. Speed snaked a hand out, wrapping it around the back of Horatio's neck, drawing him closer. Horatio in turn wrapped his arms around Speed's waist, bringing their bodies together. Under continued pressure, both men opened their mouths. Their tongues came together in heat and passion, duelling for control. This kiss was more intense and passionate than the one they had shared the night before. Speed a more willing participant, but no less confused than he had been then.

After what could have been an eternity, but in reality was nowhere close, they pulled apart. Gasping for air they sucked in several deep breaths. Regaining their composure, Horatio and Speed took a step back from each other, but remained close.

"I need time, H," Speed asked, hoping that Horatio would understand: he couldn't do this all at once.

Horatio nodded, uncertain as to whether or not Speed was giving him the complete brush off.

Sensing Horatio's uncertainty, Speed continued, "I just need time H, to figure all this out." Speed hesitated slightly before adding, "I need space too, H." His words were not meant to hurt or reject Horatio, Speed simply wanted him to understand that he needed time to figure all this out for himself.

"Ok," Horatio took a few steps further back from Speed, opening up the gap between them.

Speed quickly grabbed hold of Horatio's arm, preventing him from moving too far away. "Wait," he pleaded, "I need you to understand that I'm not just trying to push you away. I need some time to adjust to all of this. Less than a week ago, you were as close to an emotional wreck as I have ever seen. And now, now you've laid this on me and I need some time. I'm not pushing you away. I don't want to push you away," Speed paused, weighing up what to say. "H, I don't want to push you away. I've never wanted that."

Horatio smiled slightly, satisfied that Speed was not rejecting the possibility of developing their relationship out of hand.

"We good?" Speed asked hopefully.

"We're good," Horatio answered, "I'll give you as much time and space as you need. I will be here when you are ready."

"Thank you," Speed hesitated for a moment, "I'd better go. I'll see you in the morning."

"Bright and early." Horatio followed Speed back towards the front door, watching as he picked up his helmet.

Speed glanced briefly at Horatio before closing the door behind himself, leaving the older man alone once more.

***

Horatio gave Speed the space he requested. They continued to work together, making no mention of what had transpired between them.

Speed observed Horatio for a number of days after that final conversation. He watched as Horatio slowly pulled himself out of the darkness that had enveloped him. Horatio began to reconnect with the rest of the team. He spent less time at the lab too; Speed hoped that this meant Horatio was now sleeping properly. The brightness had certainly returned to his eyes.

Speed was feeling better too. He hadn't really noticed how tied in with Horatio his own mood was, until now. Ever since the pair had reached their agreement to take some time apart, Speed had in many ways felt that his professional relationship with Horatio was improving.

They worked together smoothly, no hint of the emotional undercurrent running between them.

True to his word, Horatio gave Speed all the space and time he needed. Until, nearly a month later, Speed arrived at Horatio's office door, shuffling his feet nervously.

Speed watched Horatio for a few moments, oblivious to his presence, working through a pile of reports. Finally, Speed drew the other man's attention with a soft, "Hey."

Horatio looked up from his desk and returned the greeting, "Hi," with a slight smile.

Speed looked away from Horatio, readjusting his feet nervously as he did so. "I, uh," Speed paused and took another breath, "Do you want to go get a beer?"

Horatio smiled, "Sure. Can you give men ten minutes to clear this away?" Horatio asked, gesturing to his crowded desk.

Speed nodded, narrowing his eyes slightly as he asked, "Do you mind driving? Eric gave me a ride in this morning," Speed explained.

"No problem. Meet me by the Hummer in ten minutes," Horatio instructed.

Speed nodded wordlessly before turning on his heel and leaving Horatio to finish.

***

Horatio drove them to a bar several blocks away, one not generally frequented by members of the MDPD, hoping to preserve their privacy for the time being.

Directing Speed to take a seat, Horatio bought them both a beer before joining him at the table.

Once again neither was willing to speak at first, both wary about what the other might say.

Eventually, Horatio decided to give Speed a push, "This is your show now, Tim." Horatio had given him the time he wanted. However, Horatio now needed some answers in return.

After taking a, hopefully, fortifying gulp of beer Speed began, "My feelings for you haven't changed." Speed didn't look up at Horatio. Instead he studied the label of his bottle. "But, I'm still not sure if that is going to be enough."

"Enough for what?" Horatio asked quietly.

"Enough to," Speed hesitated, "Enough to risk pursuing this."

"I've never known you to shy away from a risk."

Speed nodded, accepting the observation as truth.

"Speed, answer me this," Horatio pleaded. "Ignoring everything else, do you want this? Tim, we could make this work. If you give it a chance, we could make this work."

Speed considered Horatio's words. For all the time he had taken to think, he had been unable to come up with a firm final decision to bring to Horatio. Despite this, Speed had still chosen to reach out to Horatio; he didn't feel it was fair to keep him waiting. The truth of the matter was that Speed did not enjoy the imposed physical distance between himself and Horatio, even if it had been established at his own request. That fact probably gave some degree of insight into what he wanted.

"I'm not going to push you into anything you don't want," Horatio started, interrupting Speed's thoughts. "If you say no now, we can just walk away," Horatio paused and added quietly, "Pretend this never happened."

"I," Speed spoke up suddenly, "I don't want to do that. I can't do that," Speed said firmly, looking up at Horatio for the first time in many minutes.

Horatio raised his eyebrows hopefully, "Yeah?"

Speed nodded, "I want to try."

Horatio let out a relieved sigh.

"So, now what?" Speed asked.

"Now, now we take it slow."

"Slow?"

"Yeah. It's late, so I am going to drive you home. Then, tomorrow night, we are going to going to go out for dinner."

Speed nodded, glad Horatio was taking the lead.

They rose from their table and headed out of the bar back to the Hummer. Before they parted to move to opposite sides of the car, Horatio laid a hand on Speed's arm drawing his attention. Horatio leaned in to Speed, brushing their lips together. As Horatio began to lean back again, Speed moved forward extending the kiss.

They parted again, this time separating completely to get into the hummer.

Horatio and Speed drove in silence, enjoying the quiet, both happy to be alone with their own thoughts for the time being.

Horatio killed the engine as he pulled up to the curb outside Speed's building.

"I'll see you in the morning, Speed."

Speed reached for the door handle and was about to get out when he changed his mind. Turning back to Horatio, Speed leaned over to him, their lips meeting eagerly. Horatio opened his mouth to the advance of Speed's tongue. Their tongues continued to duel for long minutes. When they eventually pulled apart, both men had threaded their fingers through the others hair in desperation for contact.

"I'd better go," Speed said with a smirk, "before we stop taking things slow."

Horatio nodded, unable to speak, as Speed got out of the Hummer.

***

Dinner didn't happen the next night as planned. Double homicides had the tendency to get in the way of dinner plans.

The closest they managed to get to sharing dinner was three days later, eating take out in the break room. However, the presence of both Eric and Calleigh as the team discussed the case at hand certainly did not lend itself to a romantic occasion.

Horatio and Speed did manage to achieve some, brief, physical contact while trying to work the case to its conclusion. By night five, Horatio declared that the whole team was clearly exhausted and sent everyone home for a few solid hours sleep, assuring them all that this would be beneficial for the case in the long run. Not trusting Speed to drive safely on his motorbike through a haze of exhaustion, Horatio insisted on driving him home. This led to them making out in front of Speed's apartment building for fifteen minutes before good sense prevailed. They parted knowing that in the end sleep would be better for them and this could be picked up in the, hopefully, near future.

It was not until nine days after that, with the murderer now in custody, that they managed to follow up their initial plans.

Their resolve to take things slow had been severely tested by the forced time apart, just when they most waned to be together. So, not trusting themselves to enjoy a meal in public they agreed to go back to Horatio's house and order take out.

Horatio had barely closed the door behind himself and Speed when he snaked out an arm, wrapping it around Speed's waist and manoeuvring him back against the wall. Horatio immediately crashed his lips against Speed's, locking them in a passionate kiss. His hands roamed Speed's body, seeking out contact. Horatio's appetite had been whetted by their vehicular make out session, since then he had suffered nine days of frustration. As a result he was now more than eager to move things along with Speed.

Speed pushed Horatio's jacket off his shoulders, losing himself in the sensation of hands roaming over his body.

Horatio ran his hands over Speed's chest, exploring under his t-shirt. When his hands came into contact with Speed's belt buckle Horatio began undoing it. His efforts were thwarted by Speed who took hold of Horatio's hands and redirected them back under his t-shirt to continue their earlier work. They maintained this position for another few minutes until Horatio once again began moving things south. Once more he was stopped by Speed.

Sensing a definite hesitancy from Speed, Horatio broke away from the kiss. He took the separation a step further, literally, by backing away from Speed and releasing all physical contact.

Both men were breathing hard. Neither spoke as they each tried to regain control of themselves.

"What's wrong?" Horatio asked finally.

Speed didn't answer right away. Eventually he simply mumbled, "Nothing," without looking up at Horatio.

Horatio took a step forward, re-entering Speed's personal space. "Tim, look at me," he demanded forcefully. Speed obeyed. "What, is wrong?"

Speed looked away again, "Can we just, sit and talk for a minute?" he asked quietly.

Horatio nodded taking a step back, allowing Speed to walk ahead of him into the living room.

They sat at opposite sides of the couch.

"Look, things were just going a little fast for me, ok." Speed stated, hoping that his explanation would satisfy Horatio.

Nodding, Horatio said, "I'm sorry if I was pushing you," he paused, "but I don't think that's what is really bothering you."

Speed knew that Horatio was very good at reading people. That skill appeared to be just as effective when applied to Speed.

"No, its not," Speed admitted.

Horatio didn't say anything; he merely waited for Speed to continue.

"Its not, that I don't want this." Horatio nodded, accepting that this was not a rejection on Speed's part. "I want this. There have been times this week when you have been all that I could think about." Horatio smiled to himself, flattered by Speed's attention.

Speed took a deep breath considering what to say next. "I, uh," he hesitated, "I haven't been with that many guys. And, even those few times haven't really meant anything to me. This means something, H. You mean something to me," Speed said softly, glancing over at Horatio. "Every time I've been with a guy before, it has been about a quick fuck. I guess I just got nervous."

Horatio reached along the back of the couch, taking Speed's hand in his own.

"I've had relationships with both men and women. I'm comfortable doing whatever you are comfortable with, whenever you are ready," Horatio explained, lightly caressing Speed's knuckles with his thumb.

Speed nodded gratefully; glad that Horatio understood where he was coming from.

"So, how about how about we go back to the original plan of ordering in some take-out and watching the game?" Horatio asked, reaching for the phone.

***

Horatio and Speed lay comfortably together on the couch. Speed was lying with his back against Horatio's chest, their hands joined together on his own chest, feet dangling off the side of the couch.

They lay watching the game, neither really paying it that much attention, simply enjoying being in such close proximity to each other.

"When you said you are comfortable with whatever I am, what exactly did you mean?" Speed asked suddenly.

Taken slightly by surprise, Horatio took a moment to consider his answer. "I meant that you are running the show. If I go too fast for you, just let me know and I will back off. We will do... things," Horatio said with a smile, "however you want." Pausing Horatio decided to be completely frank, "Speed, I've been 'around the sexual block' a few times. There isn't a lot I'm not comfortable doing. Alright?"

Speed nodded, satisfied with Horatio's response.

Tuning slightly, Speed leaned up and kissed Horatio softly.

"I should probably head home," Speed said when they broke apart.

Horatio was threading his fingers through Speed's hair, "You don't have to."

Speed looked up at him, confused.

"You can stay here, if you want."

Speed still didn't say anything.

"Just to sleep." Horatio added with a smile, "I promise to keep my hands to myself."

Speed laughed and leaned up to kiss Horatio again. When they broke apart he said, "Thanks, H."

Horatio moved to sit up, dislodging Speed from his position.

"Come on, we'll be more comfortable in bed."

Horatio took Speed's hand and led him to his bedroom.

"There are extra toiletries in the bathroom, help yourself."

The pair settled down into bed fifteen minutes later, resuming the same position they had been in on the couch, except now they were both stripped down to their boxer shorts.

The exhaustion and stress of their last case finally caught up with them and they fell asleep quickly, comfortably wrapped up in each others arms.

***

Horatio was helping Speed clear away dishes, both enjoying some light flirting as they did so.
Speed had cooked dinner and Horatio had been pleasantly surprised to discover that he was actually a more than reasonable chef. It wasn't gourmet cooking by any stretch, but it was definitely better than anything Horatio was generally capable of rustling up on short notice.

As he moved around Speed to put dishes back in the cabinet, Horatio leaned in and, placing both hands either side of his body, pinned Speed against the worktop. Stepping closer to Speed, Horatio brought his chest against Speed's back. Horatio began kissing Speed's neck, licking, sucking and nipping at the skin there.

"I swear, Horatio, if you leave another hickey where someone can see it, I am going to make you suffer," Speed threatened, even as his body leaned back into Horatio.

"Is that a promise?" Horatio asked, only breaking away for a moment.

"H, ahhh. Cal and Eric gave me hell the last time," Speed protested, although he made no actual effort to move away from Horatio. Speed was enjoying his efforts far too much to do that.

"And I enjoyed watching you squirm."

"Bastard."

Speed turned around to face Horatio, immediately catching his lips for a passionate kiss.

Finally, Speed moved to slip out of Horatio's restriction. He took Horatio's hand and led him back to the living room. They stumbled down onto the couch, their lips immediately seeking each other out.

Horatio moved to straddle Speed, placing one hand on the back of the couch for leverage and threading the other in Speed's hair, continuing the kiss. They were moaning into each others mouths as the passion of the kiss intensified.

Leaning back, Horatio broke away from the kiss and began laying a trail of kisses along Speed's stubble roughened chin and neck. As he did this, Horatio started opening the buttons of Speed's shirt, redirecting his trail of kisses along Speed's chest.

Horatio moved one hand between their bodies and began unbuckling Speed's belt. Sensing no resistance from Speed, Horatio gently unbuttoned his jeans. Slowly Horatio slipped his hand into the warmth of Speed's boxer shorts. Wrapping his fingers around Speed's shaft Horatio began to caress his rapidly hardening length.

Speed began writhing under Horatio's ministrations, his moans increasing in volume.

Horatio lowered himself to his knees in front of Speed. Glancing up at Speed, seeking permission to take their physical relationship a step further, Horatio grinned warmly before leaning forward to take him into his mouth.

Speed hissed loudly as Horatio worked his tongue along sensitive flesh. In order to keep himself under control for as long as possible and not thrust wildly into Horatio's mouth, Speed ran his hands along the back of the couch and gripped tightly.

Horatio worked Speed's length all the way into his mouth before slowly releasing it again, alternating between running his teeth and tongue along the flesh. Speed gasped and moaned loudly as his now moist skin was exposed to cool air.

Flicking his tongue over the tip of Speed's dick, Horatio lapped up the pre-come he found there. With one last sweep of his tongue, Horatio again took Speed's dick into his mouth.

Unable to hold himself back any longer, Speed moved one arm from the back of the couch and threaded his fingers into Horatio's hair. Initially, Speed was able to keep still but he was only able to hold this for a few moments longer before he began thrusting into Horatio's willing mouth. He set a steady rhythm at first but as his control slipped Speed's actions became increasingly erratic until he was thrusting wildly.

With a shouted moan Speed came.

Horatio kept swallowing until Speed stilled. Sitting back, Horatio watched as Speed sucked in air, attempting to regain his composure.

Eventually, Speed opened his eyes and looked down at Horatio. "That was..." Speed trailed off, unable to find an appropriate end to that thought.

Horatio was rising to his feet as his cell phone started ringing.

Looking at the display screen Horatio muttered a curse, telling Speed, "Dispatch," before moving away to take the call.

"Fuck," Speed responded, fastening his jeans, guessing this would probably be the end of their evening.

"I've got to go," Horatio said once he turned back to Speed. "Night shift are short, they need me to go check out a DB." Horatio was slipping on his shoes as he spoke, "You are probably going to be called in next."

Speed nodded as Horatio walked over to him. Horatio kissed Speed slowly. Speed could taste himself on Horatio's tongue.

"I'm just going to use the bathroom quickly."

When Horatio returned he was pulling on his jacket. This time, when Horatio moved to kiss him, Speed could only taste mouthwash.

"Bye," Horatio said, leaving Speed's apartment.

***

True to Horatio's prediction, Speed received his own call from dispatch fifteen minutes later. By the time Speed arrived at the scene, Horatio was bent over the body with the ME.

Speed could not stop his thoughts from travelling back to less than an hour ago. The image of Horatio's head bobbing up and down between his legs was burnt into Speed's memory.

Willing himself to keep control Speed walked over to Eric Delko, another member of the team whose night off had been interrupted.

"Hey man," Eric greeted. Eric paused and took another look at Speed. Grinning widely, Eric noted, "Nice hickey."

Groaning, Speed realised this was going to be a very long night.

***

Horatio pulled Speed through his front door, their lips locked in a fierce embrace. Both men had been extremely grateful when the case which had interrupted them the night before was ruled death by natural causes. Thus, they had not been kept late in the lab today. Both were eager to pick up where they had left off the night before.

Pulling back from Speed, Horatio said, "I thought, we were going to go slow."

"To hell with slow," Speed replied firmly. "You have no idea how much I wanted to pin you against the nearest surface last night and -"

Horatio silenced Speed with a kiss. "I am aware, of the difficulty of the problem, Speed," Horatio stated, making it clear to Speed that he too had suffered the night before.

They returned to kissing, slower than before, knowing that better things were yet to come.

Pulling away, Horatio led Speed to his bedroom. Both men began shedding clothes as they moved so that by the time they reached the bed, they were stripped down to their boxer shorts.

Kissing hungrily they collapsed down onto the bed in a tangle of limbs. Exploring each others bodies they kissed, licked, sucked and touched every piece of exposed flesh they could reach.

Speed pulled back looking hesitant, "H, I..."

"You are running the show here, Tim," Horatio said reassuringly. Reaching out Horatio retrieved a condom and tube of lubricant from his bedside unit. "What do you want, Tim?" Horatio asked, kissing Speed softly.

Hesitating only slightly, Speed replied huskily, "I want to fuck you."

"Good." Horatio kissed Speed deeply. "How do you want me?"

Speed considered the question, "H, I don't want to hurt you."

"You're not going to."

Nodding, Speed answered, "Hands and knees."

Horatio kissed Speed deeply, both slipping out of their boxers as he did so, before turning over and presenting his ass to Speed.

Speed reached out for the lube, squeezing a generous amount onto his fingers. Slowly, Speed worked a single finger inside Horatio, allowing him to become accustomed to the intrusion before adding a second then a third finger, loosening Horatio's entrance.

Responding to Horatio's gasps and groans, Speed could feel his own arousal growing. Speed was becoming increasingly desperate for completion.

Tearing open the foil packet, Speed slipped the condom onto his aching dick. Speed coated himself in more lube, and then added some to Horatio's entrance, checking his readiness as he did so.

"Fuck, Speed... please, I need you," Horatio begged, desperate to feel Speed inside him.

Speed lined himself against Horatio, before slowly moving forwards, pushing inside. They both moaned loudly at the flood of sensation.

Speed buried himself into Horatio, letting his balls nestle against his ass, hissing, "Shit," as he did so.

Horatio pulled away from Speed, urging him to thrust. Taking the hint, Speed pulled back a little more before thrusting forward. Speed set a steady rhythm, resting his hands on Horatio's hips to generate leverage. Horatio used one hand to hold himself up on the bed and wrapped the other around his dick, stroking himself in time with Speed's thrusts.

"Fuck! Yes!" Horatio exclaimed as Speed's dick brushed against his prostate.

Speed repositioned himself so that he could hit this spot with greater frequency. Snaking an arm around Horatio's body and knocking his hand out of the way, Speed wrapped his own hand around Horatio's dick.

Speed continued thrusting and stroking, increasing the pace of his movements as both he and Horatio moved closer to completion.

It did not take much longer for Horatio to finally come, spurting his release over Speed's hand. As he came, Horatio's muscles clenched around Speed, dragging his release from him.

They called each others names in ecstasy, before collapsing down onto the bed with Speed lying on top of Horatio.

Horatio and Speed worked to regain control of their erratic breathing. After a few moments Speed lifted up from Horatio, slowly pulling out of his body and crumbling back down onto the bed.

Turning around to face Speed, Horatio kissed him, removing the condom from his now limp dick.

Horatio slipped out of bed and entered the bathroom quickly disposing of the condom before moving to clean himself up a bit. When he returned to the bedroom, Horatio brought a damp wash cloth with him so that could Speed wipe away some of the lingering stickiness.

Once this was done, Horatio rejoined Speed in bed. Speed settled his head down onto Horatio's chest, and they both drifted off to sleep.

***

Speed awoke the next morning to an empty bed. Momentarily disoriented, Speed realised where he was. Hearing the sound of running water, Speed assumed that his companion was in the shower. Horatio emerged from the bathroom ten minutes later, hair still damp and a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Morning," Speed greeted groggily from the bed.

"Good morning," Horatio dropped a kiss onto Speed's forehead. "The bathroom is all yours. It would probably be a good idea to keep stuff at each others places from no on. Make life easier," Horatio suggested, thinking out loud.

"Thanks. That's a good idea. I've got a spare set of clothes at the lab; I'll change when we get in."

Horatio was moving around the room, gathering clothes.

"I'll make a start on breakfast, while you are in the shower." Speed opened his mouth to object but Horatio continued, "We didn't eat last night. You will have breakfast."

Speed relented, nodding.

Fifteen minutes later, Speed joined Horatio in the kitchen, just as he was finishing scrambled eggs.

Speed watched Horatio for a couple of moments, noticing that he was moving with a slight stiffness.

Sensing Speed's attention, Horatio turned to him.

"Did I hurt you last night?"

"No," Horatio insisted. Noticing Speed's scepticism he continued, "I admit, I am a little stiff but you didn't hurt me." Horatio walked over to Speed, slipping his arms around his waist. "I would imagine this will be more distracting than painful, though."

"Why?"

"Because," Horatio kissed Speed softly, "every time I feel a little twinge, I am going to be thinking about you fucking me." This time when Horatio kissed Speed he slid his tongue into the younger man's mouth, igniting their passion once more. "Besides," Horatio added as an afterthought, "the more sex we have the less stiff I'll be."

"Now there's a thought," Speed agreed.

Stepping away from Speed Horatio directed him towards the kitchen table.

"Let's eat, or we, will never make it to the lab."

END

***