Title: Break Up
By: Pairing: Nick/Warrick
Spoilers: guess not. At least I haven’t based it on an episode or anything
Rating: FRAO
Warnings: bad language, drug (ab)use, no smut yet (there will be in the next one, don't worry), and unbeta'd
Disclaimer: Still not mine.
Feedback: love it!
Summary: This one is inspired by the first two verses of a song by Anouk, that’s called ‘fluid conduction’.

I've been sleeping all day
Slummin' all night in a 44 hour sedation
Since the day you cut me out of your life
The night I killed your patience

Always tried to lie to you
The truth is that I love you
I need you more than anything
Without you I discover, I'm a maWarrick had been pissed off since his shift had started. Getting stuck with a B&E in a jewelry store, while Nick got to work a double homicide on a high-class couple that got shot in their bedroom. It seemed like Grissom didn’t want him on a case like that, sending him to this store for some stolen bling. Nobody got hurt here, and it had all been captured on camera. Any CSI could have solved this on their first day, damnit.
 
When he got back to the lab, after spending way too much time talking to the manager of the jewelry, that felt the need to keep yapping about how afraid he had been during this ordeal, he just wanted to see Nick. They had been working their asses off lately, and if they hadn’t been practically living together they wouldn’t have seen each other in weeks now. Hell, he couldn’t even remember the last lazy day off, doing nothing but sleeping, eating and making love.

Despite his faul mood, it brought a smile to his face thinking about that. He couldn’t remember exactly when he had started calling it ‘making love’, instead of ‘having sex’, but that was how it felt. What had started as something purely physical, something they hardly talked about outside of their respective bedrooms, somehow had become something more than that.
 
As on cue, his man came around the corner, so engrossed in a report he was reading that he almost bumped into Warrick.
 
‘Hey,’ Nick greeted, smile on his face. ‘How’s the case going?’
 
‘Don’t get me started,’ Warrick snapped. ‘For some reason Grissom is getting a kick out of sending me to the most stupid cases he can find. I swear, the last two weeks I could have solved every case with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back.’
 
Nick nodded. ‘That sucks man, I know.’
 
And then, with an evil smirk.. ‘Want me to make you forget about all of this later?’
 
Warrick slowly nodded, hint of a smile around his lips.
 
‘Okay,’ Nick said. ‘Just come to my place after shift, and I’ll see what I can do.’
 
He briefly put his hand on Warrick shoulder and squeezed gently, a gesture that had to say everything he couldn’t say with words right now.
 
‘See you later Rick. I gotta go catch a bad guy now.’
 
 
A few hours later, Warrick had let himself in Nick’s house and was waiting for his man to come home. Nick was running late, which didn’t improve his mood in any way. He knew why Nick was late as well, cases like that got a lot of attention and the sheriff usually kept harassing everybody until a suspect could be picked up somewhere. That made it extra stupid of Grissom not to put him on the case too. They could have used a few extra hands, and the sooner the case got solved, the sooner he could get Nick naked and in his arms.

Warrick sighed, and turned on the TV, constantly changing the channels and not finding anything that could hold his attention for more than 5 seconds.
He felt like getting seriously drunk and forget about these past weeks, the soft-ball cases that Grissom kept tossing him for whatever reason and whatever else was bugging him.
 
Finally he heard someone at the front door, and seconds later Nick entered the house, looking exhausted. He threw his coat on a chair, kicked his shoes off and dropped on the couch.
 
‘Thank God this night is over,’ he stated.
 
‘You took your time allright,’ Warrick answered.
 
Nick looked at him, one eyebrow raised. ‘Well I’m sorry Rick, somehow this was the kind of perp that didn’t want to get caught. As opposed to every other case, where the perp just waits for us to arrive and hands over all the evidence.’
 
Warrick sighed. ‘Sorry, you’re right. I’m just having a bad day.’
 
‘No shit,’ Nick deadpanned. ‘But we did catch someone, and thus far the evidence is pointing straight towards him. We just gotta wait for some DNA results and then he can be put away.’
 
‘Lemme guess,’ Warrick said, ‘butler did it in the library with a candle stick.’
 
‘Nope,’ Nick answered. ‘a 16-year old gang-banger that thought this was the right way to throw his life away.’
 
That got Warrick’s attention. ‘Why would a gang-banger get into the bedroom of a rich couple to kill them without stealing anything valuable?’
 
‘Beats me,’ Nick shrugged, ‘maybe he got scared after the killing and just ran for it. Police picked him up three blocks from the scene, wearing all the right gang colors, carrying a gun similar to the one used at the crime, bullets seemed a match too when we compared them.’
 
‘You sure he wasn’t arrested for being the only black kid in an all white neighborhood? Maybe he just found the gun on the street or something.’
 
‘What are you suggesting Rick,’ Nick asked, slightly annoyed. ‘We arrested a black kid just because he was there and we needed a suspect? All the evidence we got points towards the kid. He would have been arrested is he had been purple or green as well.’
 
‘Yeah, and how hard did you search for evidence that might point another way? Or was it just as convenient to arrest a brother for this one?’
 
‘What the fuck?’ Nick got off the couch. ‘You calling me a racist now, Warrick?’
 
Warrick knew full well he was treading on thin ice, but he was unable to stop himself, all pent up anger suddenly finding a release. He stood up and walked over to Nick.
 
‘It is how you were raised Nick. I’m not saying you do it on a conscious level, but yeah, maybe you are.’
 
Nick looked at him, incredulous. ‘You have got to be joking me! I’ve never been comfortable with the things I was taught when I was a kid, and I thought it was clear how I felt about the way I was raised when you and I got together. Not to mention the fact that I lost contact with my father and over half of my siblings the moment I told my family about us, because they couldn’t deal with the fact that I share my house, my bed and my life with a black man. I choose you over them without a moment of hesitation, and you are calling me a racist?’
 
He shoved Warrick out of the way and walked to the kitchen to get himself a drink, not bothering to bring one for Warrick.
 
‘Well thank you for making such a big sacrifice,’ Warrick said, voice dripping with sarcasm. ‘I didn’t know I was such a burden for you to deal with.’
 
‘That’s not what I said and you know it!’ Nick said, raising his voice. ‘Goddamnit! If I am such a racist, feeling superior to everyone with a colored skin and only out there to arrest innocent black kids, would I let you fuck me every other day and twice on Sunday? No, I wouldn’t. I’m with you because I want to.’
 
‘Or letting a black man give it to you is a way to get back at your parents for not being there when you needed them most. After all, you didn’t have to tell your family that a brother is doing you. It’s not like we’re in a relationship or anything.’
 
It was a low blow, he had gone too far this time and Warrick knew it the moment the words left his mouth. He hated himself for acting like this, for letting his anger, that had nothing to do with Nick in the first place, take over and yet he felt unable to stop it.
 
‘That is without a doubt the meanest thing you have ever said to me,’ Nick said, voice surprisingly calm, dangerously calm in fact. ‘And that says a lot, considering I deal with your moods for a few years now. But if that really is how you feel Rick, I suggest you leave now. I don’t want to talk to you and don’t want to see you until you can come up with some sort of apology that actually sounds like something I can believe. And now go, before this gets even uglier.’
 
‘Getting a bit too close to the thruth, Nicky?’
 
That finally did break Nick’s control. Half a second later his fist connected with Warrick’s jaw, hitting him hard.
 
‘Get the fuck outta my house!’ he yelled, tears from anger and grief welling up in his eyes. ‘Just get out and stay out!’
 
‘You want me to go Nick?’ Warrick asked, rubbing his jaw. ‘Fine, just fine. I’m going.’
 
And with that he stomped off towards the front door, overwhelmed by the need to get out, to stop fighting, to stop hurting Nick on purpose. He slammed the door shut behind him, the sound of Nick’s ‘and don’t you bother coming back, you goddamned asshole’ following him outside.
 
****
 
Warrick couldn’t believe how he fucked this one up. Just because he was pissed off at Grissom he somehow had ended up picking a fight with Nick. And as always he wanted to win his fights and that often lead to fighting dirty.
But this time he really had gone too far. He couldn’t believe what he had done, how he had treated Nick and what he had accused him of. Nick was right, he had dealt with his unpredictable mood swings for as long as they knew each other, but Warrick usually didn’t try this hard to hurt Nick. And he didn’t even know why he’d wanted to hurt the man he loved more than anything in this world. He did love him, just like Nick loved him, he knew that much. The fact that they didn’t talk about that, didn’t change how they felt. But today he just needed to get rid of his anger and he’d taken it out on Nick for no better reason than that the man was there.
And because of his ridiculous behavior Nick had kicked him out, probably for good this time. So now not only his job had taken a turn for the worse, for reasons he couldn’t explain other than it being one of Grissom’s weird actions again, the kind that only made sense to Griss himself, but his personal life just hit rock bottom in seconds as well.
He didn’t want to deal with that right now. He didn’t want to deal with anything right now, he just wanted to forget everything that happened.
He only had held a few persons close in his life. His mother was one of them, his Gram another and now there was Nick. And he could play it cool all he wanted, but deep down he knew damn well he loved that man to pieces. He suddenly recalled his Gram, telling him to watch himself for hurting those that are the closest just because they are there.
 
God, how right that woman was.
 
And now Nick had more or less kicked him out, telling him to stay away. He had no clue how serious Nick was about it, if this really was the end. If he would be asked to give back the key to Nick’s house the next time he’d see him, or would find a box with his stuff from Nick’s house next to his locker at work.
 
He didn’t want to deal with that idea right now, couldn’t deal with it. Couldn’t decide between staying out and going back, but chose the first, coward that he was. Always searching for the easy way out, hurting others before they could hurt you. He loathed himself for it, and couldn’t help it.
 
After driving around for a few hours, doing nothing more than running his gas tank empty, barely noticing where he was going, Warrick couldn’t take it anymore. Desperate to take his mind off of this whole mess, he parked his car near the Strip and got out. He refused to get back to gambling, knew he’d be lost again if he’d end up in a casino feeling like this. There were other ways to forget though.
Reluctantly he pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number he hadn’t used in years.
 
‘Yo!’ A voice on the other side answered.
 
‘Dwayne, hey man, it’s Warrick.’
 
A chuckle came through the phone. ‘Mr CSI! I thought you didn’t want to remember us low-lifes from the past.’
 
Warrick shrugged and then realized that wasn’t visible through a phone. ‘I need to relive some of the old days, you know?’
 
‘Aaaaahh! Well, my man, in that case you have called the right number. I’m still at the same spot as I used to be. Meet you there, okay?’
 
‘I’m on my way.’
 
Warrick shut his phone and got back into the car. After making a stop at a liquor store first to buy a 6-pack of beer and a bottle of Jack, he drove to the spot Dwayne had set up shop.
Dwayne greeted him enthusiastically, like an old friend.
 
‘What do you need Warrick?’
 
‘I’ve been out of the scene for years, Dwayne. Just give me something that goes with beer or Jack and makes the world smile at me again.’
 
‘You wanna go out clubbing or something?’
 
‘Maybe, I’m not sure yet. Don’t need anything to get hyped up even more though. I just want to mellow out.’
 
Dwayne smiled. ‘Still got the lingo down, haven’t you? But I got what you need my friend.’
He dug in his pockets and came up with a few pills.
 
‘Here’s some E, in case you want to dance or fuck, and I got a few uppers and downers right over here. Not very heavy when used without the other, but when you combine them together with this,’ he dug up another small pill. ‘Man….’ he let his eyes roll back in his head. ’You feel like you’ve never felt before.’
 
He handed Warrick about a dozen pills. ‘Here man, no charge. Wouldn’t want to get caught selling dope to a cop, you know?’
 
They briefly hugged, like the friends they once were. ‘Thanks’
 
Warrick left the ally in a bit of a hurry. For one, he didn’t want to be seen by some officer that happened to pass by, and he just needed to forget this whole night. As soon as he got back into his car, he swallowed three pills in the combination Dwayne had suggested and washed them down with beer. He sat for a few minutes, just waiting for the effects of the pills to kick in, before he got out of the car again.
 
‘Allright,’ he said to himself, ‘time to have some fun.’
 
Famous last words.
 
Within the hour Warrick had lost all sense of time and place. His world had changed into some sort of kaleidoscope of beautiful colors and views and he felt like smiling at everybody he met. Somehow in the back of his head he knew he was walking around looking like the dope-heads he used to arrest, but right now he didn’t care. He felt totally at peace, his brain didn’t function so he didn’t have to think or talk and the world was his friend.
Just to be sure nobody tried to reach him, he had shut his phone off and tossed it in the glove-compartment of his car. He had enough of talking, he just wanted to feel this loving feeling induced by the drugs for as long as possible, as long as he could stand on his feet and stay awake.
 
Suddenly a familiar voice startled him.
 
‘Warrick?’
 
He turned around in a weird slow-motion movement. ‘Jim…. heeyyyy,’ he slurred, smiling widely.
 
‘Hey there big guy,’ Jim Brass answered. ‘Having a bit too much fun, aren’t we?’
 
Warrick chuckled. ‘Nope, not nearly enough.’
 
He lowered his head a little and said in a way too loud whisper. ‘But I’ve got ways of making sure I will have even more fun.’
 
Jim bit back a grin. ‘Yeah, I can see that. Hold on just a sec, okay, I need to make a phonecall.’
 
‘You’re not gonna spoil my night out now, are ya?’ Warrick asked, looking at Jim through heavy-lidded eyes.
 
‘Warrick,’ Jim answered. ‘Your night out has started yesterday. You are in the next night out already and maybe it’s time to sleep it off now.’
 
‘Huh?’ Warrick said intelligibly. ‘Come again?’
 
‘I’ll explain it later. Just gimme a sec, okay?’ And with that Jim turned around and grabbed his phone, leaving Warrick in a state of confusion about his earlier remark.
 
‘Yes, hi, Jim here’
 
….
 
‘Yeah yeah, I found him.’
 
…..
 
‘Well, I wouldn’t say that. He seems to be having a great time, although I’m sure he won’t remember anything of it later.’
 
……
 
‘Okay, I’ll try. Just don’t bite his head off, okay?’
….
 
‘Sure, see you later.’ And with that, Jim broke the connection and turned back to Warrick, who was gazing at the horizon again, lost in whatever he saw at that moment.
 
‘Yo, Rick. Time to go home man.’
 
Warrick shook his head to clear his vision a little. ‘Nah, don’t want to go home. I just got here!’
 
This time Jim did chuckle. ‘No you didn’t. You left Nick’s house a day and a half ago.’
 
‘Huh?’
 
‘Yeah, huh allright,’ Jim stated. ‘Get in man, time to go home and sleep it off and pray you won’t get tested in the next week.’
 
What should have been a smirk but in fact was some sort of lopsided smile spread across Warrick’s face.
‘I’m a CSI Jim, I can beat those tests.’
 
‘Sure you can,’ Jim snorted, ‘but not in this state you can’t.’
 
Running out of smart-ass answers, Warrick followed Jim to his car. The world still looked wonderful to him, and he spent the drive enjoying the scenery. Suddenly Jim pulled into a parking space and turned towards him.
 
‘Rick, you with me?’
 
Warrick slowly turned his head. ‘Yeah man, with you all the way.’
 
Jim sighed. ‘Rick, I need you to listen to me. I know it may not all stick in you foggy brain right now, but just hear me out, okay?’
 
Warrick nodded, still in slow-motion.
 
‘I don’t know what has happened between you and Nick, but judging from the bruise on your jaw I’m guessing you took whatever was bothering you out on him and you went a bit too far.’
 
Jim looked at him. ‘And since you’re not answering and trying very hard to disappear through this seat I’m probably right.’
 
He put a hand on Warrick’s shoulder. ‘Warrick, I may not know a lot, but I have a pretty wide range of experience in fucking up relationships.’
 
Warrick averted his eyes, dopey grin on his face. ‘Whaddaya talking about?’
 
‘Trying to pretend there’s nothing going on between you two isn’t gonna solve this mess, man.’ Jim answered. ‘Just because I haven’t had a relationship in, well, forever, doesn’t mean I don’t recognize two people head over heels in love with each other.’
 
‘We’re just fucking, that’s all,’ Warrick said, hoping he’d sound convincingly.
 
‘Okay,’ Jim tried to keep from wincing. ‘that’s something I really didn’t need to know for sure.’
 
After a few seconds he continued. ‘But you keep telling yourself that, Rick. That’s it’s just fucking. One of these days you may start to believe it.’ Jim took out his cellphone. ‘Here, see for yourself. Nick has tried to call you numerous times and when you didn’t answer, he started harrassing me. Look! The guy has made 12 calls in the last day, hoping I’d tell him I had found you. He took a day off from work, so he’d be there in case you got home again. And you are ready to kiss your career goodbye after a fight, buying enough dope to end up in jail and lose your job. That’s not just fucking Rick, it wouldn’t hurt so much if it was just that.’
 
He pulled out of the parking space again.
 
‘I’m gonna take you home, and you’re gonna sleep this off and then you are going to Nick and you’ll apologize for whatever it was you did. And I don’t care if that means you have to crawl and beg, just do it. I’m not spending my day off searching for you for nothing,’ Jim ended gruffly.
 
Warrick slumped back in his seat, overwhelmed by everything Jim had said. Even though his mind didn’t work at full speed right now, he knew Jim was right. Hell, he had known that already, which was the reason he wanted to forget what happened tonight in the first place. And he had no clue how he could make this up to Nick. He only knew that he had to do whatever it took, because the idea of losing him was more than he could take.
 
He groaned, hanging his head in his hands. Jim looked at him, worry on his face.
 
‘You’re not gonna hurl in my car, are you?’
 
Warrick turned his head towards him. ‘No, I’m fine. An enormous asshole, a stupid SOB, and some other things that won’t come to mind right now, but other than that I’m fine.’
 
He looked at Jim with a plea in his eyes. ‘Can you just drive me to Nick’s house?’
 
‘You sure? Don’t you think it’s better to face him sober and able to form a coherent sentence?’
 
Warrick shook his head. ‘I just need to see him, Jim. I don’t wanna wait ‘till tomorrow.’
 
Jim sighed. ‘Okay, but don’t blame me when this goes wrong.’
 
He turned left, driving towards Nick’s place. ‘Yeah, you guys are only fucking allright,’ he mumbled under his breath.

Next story in this series - Make Up.