Title: Bull...Shit
Author: Dee
Rating: R
Word Count: 1512
Pairings: Gil/Nick
Characters: Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes and some of the gang.
Warnings: Fluff and AU
Spoilers: YES! For 'BUll ' and several passing references to much older episodes.
Disclaimer: In my dreams they are like, totally mine!
Beta: jayceepat and podga for their invaluable help in the Americanisation of the fic and their insightful comments. I thank high_striker for his wonderful icons. I am indebted to them all. Any errors are mine.
A/N: This is a first for me! It is a episode related fic and a reminder of what happened in the last S8 episode screened; okay....so this didn't actually happen, but it could have and in my imagination it did - so there!


Nick walked into the breakroom intending to get himself a coffee but interrupted an obviously serious and secret little discussion between Catherine and Warrick. 'Serious' because they weren't smiling and 'secret' because they'd jumped apart from leaning across the table towards each other.

"Sorry to interrupt you guys but I need some coffee."

"You're not interrupting, Nick....have you seen Gil?" Catherine asked.

"Not in the last couple of hours or so; why?"

"Oh nothing."

"'Oh nothing' like hell, Catherine...what's going on? Warrick?"

Neither spoke to Nick but shared a look between them. Nick was suddenly worried.

"Is he okay, has something happened?"

"He's not hurt or anything, don't panic...it's just that he's...errr...angry....yes he's angry." Catherine elaborated.

"Right. Okay. Do you know anymore or do I have to play twenty questions?"

"Well, Nick he's angry at you..."

"Me?"

".....yes and Jim."

"Jim?"

"Stop repeating everything I say. Look you either need to leave the lab and lie low for a couple of years or, alternatively, go and confront him and risk physical injury."

Suddenly Catherine and Warrick had regained their sense of humour and both were now grinning.

"You know what it's about don't you?"

"My lips are sealed, Nicky."

"Come on, man!" Nick tried an appeal to Warrick, man to man.

"Can't say, Nick, I'm on parole, man, gotta keep my nose clean!"

Nick didn't need to do or say any more because at that moment Gil entered the breakroom and hissed at Nick.

"My office. Now."

Nick was taken aback; Gil had never spoken to him quite like that before. Nick's eyebrows rose and he felt a blush start on his neck and worst of all, he felt the first prick of tears behind his eyes. Why was he always so fucking emotional?

Gil had turned on his heels and left the breakroom almost as soon as he'd issued the command. Nick didn't look back at his co-workers, but followed Gil back to his office. Nick thought frantically about what he'd done in the time since he last saw Gil....three hours...tops.

Nothing sprang to mind. He'd been working the hit and run of a hooker and then the murder of her pimp, with Greg. They'd got a result and they'd been tying up the loose ends in the lab ever since.

"Shut the door." Was Gil's order as he'd reached his desk and turned around to face Nick as he'd entered the office.

"What's wro....?" Nick started to ask.

"What the fuck do you think you've been playing at, Nick?"

"I don't know what you mean...I haven't done...."

"You walked right up to an armed man and talked him into surrendering."

"Oh. Right. There was no way he was going to do anything....."

"YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW THAT!" Gil shouted

"Gil...please..."

"Don't you 'Gil please' me, we're not at home now we're in work and you are my responsibility and it's not your fucking job to disarm suspects you could..."

"What? Could have been killed? Is that what this is all about? Don't you want to give me a bit of credit about this, Gil? Am I just the usual 'fuck up' guy I ever was?"

"You're not a fuck...."

"Oh no? Don't you bullshit me, Gil...you think I'm some sort of walking disaster, can't do fuck right and you have to bail me out...that's it isn't it, Gil...isn't that what you think? Tell me; go on tell me it isn't what you think." Nick's temper was a match for Gil's now.

"I don't think that Nick; I don't think that at all, but you were unarmed and you walked right up to an armed and dangerous man..."

"He wasn't dangerous Gil; don't you think I gave it some thought? I didn't think he'd kill himself and I knew he wouldn't kill me...I've been around the block enough to be able to read a situation. But you don't believe me do you? You think I'm always in the wrong don't you...well don't you?"

"No, of course I don't Nicky." Gil was totally deflated now; his attacking position had turned into a defensive one. "Nicky, things have happened to you - you can't deny that....."

"Don't fucking 'Nicky' me...let's look back shall we? Kristy Hopkins, that's the big one isn't Gil? I slept with her, I didn't murder her. Nigel Crane, he killed a woman for me and set up home in my loft. Walter Gordon abducted me and imprisoned me. Oh and let's not forget Amy Hendler...

"Nicky. Nick."

"Did I ask for any of that shit? Did I? Did I know any of those things were going to happen to me? NO, I fucking didn't; yet when I exercise MY discretion regarding a situation - a situation over which I HAVE got control - you have me in here, humiliate me in front of my colleagues and...you know what Gil? Fuck you."

Nick had said his piece and he was as deflated as Gil now but he was smarting from Gil's assumptions about him. He'd never knowingly put himself in danger...not like Gil had with Goggle and Milander. No that was different wasn't it....Gil'd said he knew what he was doing but he's implying I don't.

"Y'know what Gil? I'll pack up and leave your place after shift; y'know if you can't trust me to do my job and exercise control of my actions then there's not much point to 'us' is there? It's supposed to be give and take; it seems to me you do all the taking and I do all the giving. We can't live like that...I can't live like that." Nick turned away from Gil and slowly walked towards the door, rubbing his face with both hands. Funny, just a few minutes ago he'd thought he'd cry when he'd been summoned in here and now it was all over and he didn't think he'd cry again - ever.

Gil had listened to the last few moments of Nick's anger as it dissipated and then turned into a resigned monologue about their relationship. He suddenly realised what Nick had actually said. He launched himself towards Nick and shouted. "NO, Nicky, Jesus Christ Nicky, what are you saying? You can't leave, you can't, please don't leave."

By this time Gil was in front of Nick with his back against his own office door. He grasped Nick by his upper arms and shook him.

"Nick please don't go, you don't understand. I can't lose you I can't. You could've been killed, Nick. I didn't mean to undermine you, I didn't, and I'll apologise to Catherine... and Warrick...and Jim. I promise. Please don't go."

"I'm not a child Gil and you're not my father...I'm nearly forty for God's sake and you still treat me like a kid. All of the things that've happened to me have been out of my control Gil...I couldn't do a rat's ass about them...but when I can do something and I did do something you haul me in here like a kid in front of the principal and bawl me out.

"Now if I had done something wrong I'd own up but in this case Gil I was right and I knew it and I bet Jim did too.... he watches my back and he wouldn't have let me go in otherwise... he said I did good."

"That's what he said to me; exactly what he said. He said you'd done good Nicky, but when I'd heard about it, the uniforms were talking about how fucking fearless you'd been and unarmed and I thought you'd been reckless and put your life in real danger Nick. If your life was in danger Nick, then mine would be too. You're....you're all, everything I have...I love you, you know I do. Don't go."

Nick sighed and shrugged his shoulders, in truth he'd been talked out of leaving quite quickly and he was nothing if not a forgiving man but Gil had to learn a lesson here.

"I'll think about it, okay?" But his face had given him away, his eyes shone with affection even as he tried to be nonchalant. His lips had twitched a little towards a smile and Gil didn't miss a trick.

"That long enough?"

"Yeah."

"I'm really sorry. I'll really try to behave with a little more circumspection....providing you do the same....in the future."

"You will?"

"Promise."

"What's circumspection mean?"

"You know darn well."

"I promise to be cautious and not take undue risks."

"See...you did."

Gil then decided to break their cardinal rule about work and kissed Nick, wrapping his arms around Nick's back and pulling him towards him, Nick's arms had nowhere to go but around Gil's waist. Gil's back was resting against his office door. His clear glass office door.

As Catherine and Warrick sauntered past that very door, Catherine was heard to offer a little prayer of thanks to God that they'd kissed and made up and Warrick shook his head in disbelief at the sight of Gil.....KISSING his best friend.

Gil and Nick were, of course, completely oblivious.......

The End