Title: If Loneliness Can Kill Me
Author: Jaxson K.
Pairing: Don/Adam
Rating: PG
Summary: Adam tries to deal with loneliness.


Adam sat on the fire escape looking out over the neighbor. The setting sun cast a reddish-orange glow and he could hear the street sounds below him. He got up and went back inside, closing the window behind him. He went to the fridge, got a soda, and sat down on the sofa. He sat there waiting for the tears to come like they usually did this time of day, knowing that once again he would be powerless to stop them.

It was always the same. The crushing weight of loneliness would bear down on him, and the tears would flow freely. He'd have a good cry and go to sleep, get up, start another day, and repeat the same process every night. It had gotten to the point that it was harder and harder to maintain the facade of goofy lab tech. It was harder still to keep thinking that this was all his fault.

Adam felt that if he'd been just a little bit smarter, a little bit more on the ball, a little more...everything, then Don wouldn't have left. Adam knew it wasn't completely his fault, but it sure felt that way when the loneliness came every night. He knew that Don tried to be patient with him, and to his credit, he DID try to be what Don wanted, but it just wasn't enough.

One thing Adam did know was life without Don was lonelier than he could have ever imagined. He didn't realize how big of a difference being alone could make. He felt like the loneliness was killing him slowly, and as he drifted off to sleep, Adam thought, "If this loneliness can kill me, then I'm just as good as dead....."