Story Title: Round Table Discussion
Author: Esynnaj
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Pairing: Gil/Warrick
Rating: FRM
Email: vebesahchalarc@sbcglobal.net
Warnings: Language
Summary: The team agreeing to disagree.
Disclaimer: CSI and all characters from it belong to CBS Productions, Touchstone Television, Alliance Atlantis Communications and Jerry Bruckheimer Films.

ROUND TABLE DISCUSSION

One morning when they were all sitting in their favorite restaurant unwinding from a rough midnight shift….

"Look, you're either gay or you're not. I don't hold with this bi-sexual and metro-sexual crap. You've got to be one thing or the other or else you're nothing much."

"Ah, Sara, that's seeing things too black and white. I know plenty of people who swing both ways and others who get whatever they can however they can get it. You know some yourself."

"Yeah, I do and they're all lying to themselves. It's like everything else. They just don't want to admit to what they really are and make a final commitment."

"That's ridiculous. I've got a friend right now who just came out as a part time lesbian and she's never been happier. She lives with a guy but has a couple of chicks on the side."

"Well, she's a prime example of what I'm talking about. If she wants the women, why doesn't she just go for it and leave the guy alone?"

"Because she loves him and he loves her. He knows about the other women and even goes out with her when she's with them sometimes. Hell, last time I talked to them, he was thinking about trying a man on for size."

"Catherine, that's incredible. That's just incredible. Pretty soon, you're not gonna be able to tell the men from the women or the women from the men and that's going to be a sad day for everybody. I LIKE knowing a man's a man and a woman's a woman. Take Warrick here, for example. He's the straightest man I know."

"Hey, c'mon now. Don't go dragging my name into this."

"Why not? I'm complimenting you, Warrick. All somebody has to do is look at you to know you're not gay. You haven't got a homosexual bone in your body. If a stranger had to choose between you or Nick or Grissom, they'd know right away who's straight and who not."

"Sara. Are you sure about your facts on this?"

"Sure I am and you know it, Grissom. I'm not trying to say anything personal about you, but you've gotta admit, you make it difficult for anybody to tell what direction you're flying in. For all we know, you're some kind of weird celibate or buried so deep in the closet, you can't see daylight. You sometimes seem to get interested in a woman, but nothing ever comes of it. I know you've never respond to any of my feminine wiles."

"Well, Sara, there are reasons for that. One number, we're co-workers and it wouldn't be appropriate. Number two…"

"…Number two is you ain't got any feminine wiles, Sara. You're a bull in a china shop. You wouldn't know feminine wiles if one of 'em hit you upside the head."

"Oh, and I suppose you consider feminine wiles to be running around shaking your ass at every man you see who's able to breathe without being given CPR first, Catherine. Gimme a break. I can seduce with as much class as anybody."

"Hey, let's get back to what we were talking about before. What about me? I'm as masculine as Warrick. I don't look like a homosexual, do I?"

"Aw, Nick, don't get your panties in a bunch. But, the truth of the matter is, I wonder about you. I mean, really, you cry too easy. Let somebody put a gun in your face or a knife to your throat or throw you out a window and you get all weepy. You're supposed to be cop of sorts and able to handle that kinda shit. I've never seen a guy who cries as much as you who wasn't gay."

"Sara, I can't believe you just said that!!! That was such a homophobic comment to make!! Nick, I'd be insulted, if I was you."

"Catherine, I am insulted. Very insulted. Just because a guy's sensitive doesn't make him gay. I'll have you know, I like women. I like 'em a lot."

"Yeah and Nick's the baby of his family. He's been spoiled. Even down in good ole Texas where it's probably illegal for a guy to even have tear ducts and definitely illegal for one guy to put his cock up another's ass, they always give more leeway to the baby boy in a large family. I think it's wonderful that Nick isn't ashamed to be sensitive."

"Catherine, you're not helping me out here. I'm not trying to make any excuses for being the way I am. What I'm trying to say is you don't have to be some macho idiot going around saying 'duh' and banging your head into brick walls just cause they're there, to be a straight man. These are modern times and every man, straight or gay, should be able to express his emotions just like a woman does without some stupid jerk putting a label on him."

"Maybe so, but society doesn't work that way and we don't have any other society to live in."

"Then, we need to change the society, make it fair and impartial for everyone."

"Yeah, Catherine, and that'll be the day hell freezes over."

"Hey, Sara, can I ask you something?"

"Absolutely, Warrick, shoot."

"What if I said, me being this big, bad straight black man, that I was going down on another man a couple, three, four days a week, sometimes more that once in the same day, and was loving every second of it?"

"I wouldn't believe you."

"Why not? Suppose I'm for real? Suppose I say I haven't been with another woman or man since I met this guy, but still like the hell outa the ladies."

"I'd believe that last part about how you like the ladies and figure the rest was you playing the devil's advocate just to get me going."

"What if it was me saying Warrick was doing what he said he was doing, Sara?"

"Grissom, I wouldn't believe you either. I know how you like to start something up just to see how it's gonna turn out."

"But, I'm not kidding, Sara. I have personal information about who Warrick's with that couple of times a week or more he mentioned. I'm the one he's going down on."

"Grissom, that's not funny."

"Not only that, I'm the one he's exclusive with. May I add, I also still like the ladies, if only to converse with and look at. I'm true to my lover and my lover is a man. Warrick, to be exact."

"No. It's not so. It's not so and it's not funny."

"Perhaps it's not funny, but it's definitely so. Warrick has frequently had his mouth on my penis and, just as frequently, his penis up my rectum. That is the whole truth and nothing but."

"Know what? This conversation is over. I'm going home."

"Guess I'll go, too. I've got to get Lindsey up and ready for school."

"Yeah, me third. I'm not leaving cause I'm mad or cause I've got a little girl to look after. I'm leaving cause I'm sleepy as hell and going home to go to bed. See ya, boss. See ya, Warrick."

"Warrick?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"Do you think she believed us?"

"Nah. Sara doesn't believe in facts that don't fit her version of how things are until they slap 'er in the face. She's not gonna believe anything that might take the apple of her eye, meaning you, away from her. Maybe next time we have a talk like this, I'll reach over and jerk you off or something. That should shut her up."

"Get that look out of your eye, Warrick. As interesting as that sounds, you'll do nothing of the kind."

"Try me. Just try me. That lady has a comeuppance coming and I'm just the one to give it to her."

"Oh, she's harmless. Right now, I'd like to stop thinking about Sara and try out some of those illegal in Texas things you and I mentioned that we do together. Why don't we go home for that, since they're best done in privacy?"

"Yeah, fine. But I'm straight, Grissom, remember that. All you've got to do is look at me. Can't be doin' any more of that gay shit with you or anybody else."

"Warrick, please. I want you to forget about Sara and her locked in stone ideas. Come feel this. Doesn't that tell you we've both got better things to think about than Sara?"

"Oh, yeah, no doubt. We're outa here. We can talk about all that other stuff later. Much later."