Title: Fast Times at the Miami Dade Courthouse
By: Monkey Dom
Pairings: Horatio/Speed
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I don't own them. If I did, I wouldn't be so bloody poor.
Summary: Waiting to testify takes it toll.

***

Speed sighed and tapped his shoes against the tiled floor of the courthouse. The jury had been deliberating for a good hour and showed no signs of being done yet and Speed was bored out of his mind. Both Speed and Horatio had given their testimonies, showing all their hard work over the last month, but it was still taking forever.

Speed glanced at Horatio, who was sitting next to him, his fingers skimming over the keypad of Speed's iPod. There was a slight frown on his face.

"Is this annoying you yet?" Speed asked, tapping his shoes even harder.

"No…. Huh… Did you know that Amanda Bynes was given her first show at 13?" Horatio was still staring at the iPod. As Speed leant over to see what he was doing, Horatio quickly pulled away, getting Speed's attention.

"What are you doing?"

Horatio looked up. "… Nothing."

Speed held out his hand. "Show me."

"No."

"It's my iPod!"

"So?"

Speed lunged forward and grabbed the iPod out of his bosses hand and glanced at the screen. "I'm bored out of my mind and you've been playing Movie Quiz?!"

"I beat your record too." Horatio smirked at Speed as the iPod was safely returned to Speed's pocket.

"No more for you."

A few minuets passed in silence. Speed looked over at Horatio. "Wanna count the fat people?"

Horatio looked around the hallway. "It'd be easier to count the people who aren't." he mumbled.

"I spy?"

"What are you? Five?"

Speed sighed and watched the clock in front of them.

"You know what we need?" Horatio suddenly said, sitting up straight in his chair as Speed waited for the saviour of his boredom. "One of the bouncy ball things that can hit the ceiling if you do it right. They would keep Ray and I entertained for hours when we were kids. Until they got taken away." Speed watched as a far away look crossed Horatio's face. He knew not to ask and he knew to change the subject.

Speed smirked and he let his eyes roam over Horatio's body, now slouched in an impossibly uncomfortable chair, yet still he looked amazing. Speed leant over and placed his lips close to Horatio's ear while one hand slipped up his thigh. "You know what we could do…" he whispered.

"I am not having sex with you in a courthouse bathroom." Horatio deadpanned.

"It's not like anyone will notice that we're missing, I doubt they remember that we're here waiting for them."

"Pretty sure they will."

"Pretty sure they won't."

Speed watched as Horatio sighed and glanced around the room, counting the people, the distance between them and the nearest bathroom and how long it would take to get there—always the analyst.

Horatio suddenly grabbed Speed's hand and before either man knew it, they were in an empty men's bathroom with the door locked behind them. Speed's back hit the wall and Horatio ran his hands up under Speed's shirt. He took Speed's lips in a knee-buckling kiss and began working on the clasp of Speed's pants.

"I thought you said you wouldn't have sex with me in a courthouse bathroom?" Speed panted.

Horatio grinned as the clasp snapped free. "Well, not the kind you were thinking of." One more smirk and he dropped to his knees.

Both men emerged from the bathroom with identical grins on their faces before almost colliding with a clerk.

"Oh, Detectives! I forgot all about you! Guilty on all counts, good work."

Horatio grumbled something that sounded like "Lieutenant."

Speed asked, "How long ago was this?"

The clerk looked surprised, "Oh, they were only in there for about 10 minuets." He said, before he scurried away from Speed's death glare.

"An hour. A fucking Hour we waited and they'd only taken 10 minuets."

Speed stalked off with Horatio's laughter trailing not far behind.

***