title: Fear
fandom: CSI: Vegas
pairing: Nick/Gil
rating: NC17
series: Second Chance
sequel to: Miracle, Breaking Away, Misconceptions
spoilers: totally AU, so none
author: nancy
email: the_tenth_muse1@yahoo.com
feedback: yes, please!
archive: sure, just let me know!
summary: Gil and Nick conquer their fears together.
warnings: bad language and sex (almost a pwp *grin*)
disclaimers: not mine, never will be, not making any money from this.

****

At about two am, Gil finally pulled the car over to the side of the deserted highway. He had no idea where they were, so it was a good chance that no one else did either. They'd only stopped now and again for bathroom breaks or to get gas in their newly purchased clunker, which had been paid for in cash and registered with a false name right at the dealership.

His hands were shaking with fear, all of a sudden, with just how close they'd come to losing everything; how close they'd come to losing each other. Fear had never sat well with Gil and he'd always tackled it head-on, but this time.this time was different. This wasn't the kind of fear he'd dealt with before and wasn't sure how to do so. It was very different to be scared witless for someone else, as opposed to for yourself, and right then, Gil wished fervently that he only had himself to be afraid for, that Nick was back in Las Vegas, safe and sound.

Feeling shaky all over, Gil looked over at Nick and drank in the sight of him, sleeping soundly in the passenger's seat. It calmed him a little, just having Nick there, seeing his lover right across the seat from him. There was no tension anywhere that he could see, but that didn't surprise him. Once Nick was asleep, unless he had a nightmare, the younger man was just out cold. Or at least, that's how it had been since they'd been sleeping together. Gil wasn't sure if it was the new changes in his body, or that Gil was there, but it didn't really matter.

As if sensing the scrutiny, or maybe feeling that the car had stopped, Nick stirred and his eyes fluttered open as he yawned. Rubbing his eyes, Nick looked over at Gil and froze. "Gil? What's wrong?"

But Gil couldn't speak, his throat closed again by the fear of losing his lover.

"Oh baby, come here," Nick ordered softly, pulling off the seatbelt and setting his hand on Gil's shoulder.

Gil yanked his seatbelt off and straddled Nick, wrapping his arms around his lover's neck and burying his face against the hollow of Nick's throat. With the strong arms holding him, it was almost possible to believe that they could do this, that they could get away and lead some anonymous life together. That they wouldn't be parted.

"God, baby, you're shaking," Nick observed in a worried tone. "Gil, c'mon man, you're scaring me here."

"I can't lose you."

Rubbing a hand up and down Gil's back, Nick promised, "You're not going to. That was just bad luck and worse timing, Gil. My fault. I should've listened to you about everything."

Gil shook his head and pulled back enough to say, "They've got endless resources, Nicky, it's just a matter of time until."

"No!" Nick interrupted fiercely. "You are not going to lose me, or leave me, in any way, shape, or fashion. I won't let that happen!"

"I want to believe it, Nicky, I do, but." Gil's voice trailed off.

Nick seized his mouth in a hard, desperate kiss and Gil's lips opened instantly. The arms around him were tight enough to make it difficult to breathe, but he didn't care, breathing was secondary. Moaning in need, he responded just as forcefully, thrusting his tongue into Nick's mouth and sliding it over and around its mate.

He felt and heard the rip of fabric and shuddered in lust and love as Nick's hands were on his suddenly bare ass, gripping him too tightly. There would be bruises later, and they'd barely started. He was pushed back, against the dash, and Nick tore off the pants the rest of the way, then yanked open Gil's shirt and attacked his bare chest, sucking and biting at the flesh until Gil's world was upside-down with sensations of pain and pleasure.

Arching into the savage lovemaking, Gil collapsed against the unyielding support from behind and moaned, splayed out for his lover. His nipples were sore and bruised in a matter of minutes, teeth marks and hickeys decorating his body in short order. A finger pushed inside him from behind and Gil hissed, "Yes!" pushing down on it, ignoring the nearly dry burn.

After leveling Gil up with one arm, Nick's hot, wet mouth closed around Gil's cock and he shouted at the unexpected sensation. Two fingers almost distracted him from the excruciating pleasure as they moved in and out of him, stretching his body for the invasion to follow. His face was almost pressed against the windshield, body arched and contorted as Nick mastered Gil's body, and all he could do was beg for more.

Nick pulled him back down and he groaned at the loss of his lover's mouth, but then his own was taken in a possessive kiss and he welcomed it. Nick's cock teased over his opening, spreading the pre- come over his hole. Taking that bit of control back, Gil pushed down, forcing the shaft inside and crying out as he was filled, his voice joining Nick's shocked shout.

Grabbing his hips before Gil could go all the way down, immobilizing him, Nick took back control of the situation and snapped, "Don't do that again, Gil! I could hurt you, dry like this!"

Gil leaned forward and kissed him as sweetly and with as much feeling as he could. Nick moaned in response, but the hands didn't lessened their hold on his ass, keeping him half impaled on Nick's cock, his ass throbbing around the shaft. Slowly, too slowly by half for Gil, he was allowed to sit all the way down, taking Nick inside the rest of the way and then squeezed his ass tight around the cock. Nick shuddered under him, his hands spasming tight on Gil, bestowing more bruises.

Smiling that he could do this to his lover, Gil undulated against Nick. His knees were already killing him from this position, but he ignored them, even as he was grateful for Nick's strength in helping him move up and down. Wrapping his arms around Nick again brought his cock into contact with the muscled abdomen and he gasped as the friction increased against it.

It didn't take long for the movements to become hurried and frantic. Gil knew that Nick was still holding back, but it was as close as the younger man had ever come to losing control since that first time. He sucked and mouthed Nick's shoulder and throat, gripping the short hair tight and pulling sharply.

"Fuck! Gil!" Nick cried out, losing it and shoving up hard into the willing body as he came.

The hard jet of seed inside sent Gil over the edge and his heart stuttered, his breath stopping as he spilled between them.

For several long, silent minutes, they just stayed limp that way, holding each other and nuzzling at the nearest part of their lover's body. Gil moved gently on Nick, the hardness inside needing another release to soften completely. Nibbling on Nick's earlobe, Gil whispered, "I love you, Nicky, so much, you're everything to me."

Nick gasped and came at the barely-there words, his fingers clenching Gil's hips one last time with almost crushing force.

And then it was Gil holding Nick, who was shaking with words tumbling out, "I almost didn't get to you in time. If I'd been slower, if I hadn't gotten to you, they would've had you, baby, they would've had you and who knows what they would have done to you. All my fault, Gil, it's all my fault. You shouldn't be in danger like this, never you, you should be home, in Las Vegas, the pride of the county, safe."

"Nicky, listen to me," Gil ordered, putting a finger over his lover's mouth to stop the words. Now that his own fears had been conquered, he could help Nick. Wide eyes stared at him, haunted and fearful, but filled with love. "I wouldn't be anywhere else, Nicky, except with you. I won't ever leave you, not willingly. Ever."

Nick kissed him again, this time slow and soft and achingly loving. "Me, either."

Next part of the story - Second Chance: Captured