Previous part of Finding Father.

***

Adam spent the next week in the lab working on whatever the others needed him to do. He found that he really enjoyed falling back into the rhythm of being in the lab rather than out in the field. He did hate that it put Mac in a bit of an awkward situation, but he thought that his lover would listen to him and let him do what was best for him in the end.

"Hey," Danny said, letting the door shut behind him, "so I just saw the final paperwork. You and Mac really thought this out, didn't you?"

"Yeah, it took some talking, but we finally managed to work it out," Adam said. "I know that restraining orders rarely work long-term, but I'm going to move in with Mac at the end of the month. Two buildings was easier to put in paperwork than three."

"You sure you're ready for such a big step?" Danny asked. "You guys only been together couple of months. I thought you guys planned to take it slow."

"We did, but when we were at Mac's place for two days, I realized I felt safer and more at home there than I ever have in my own apartment," Adam replied. "Trust me, Mac asked me about a zillion questions to make sure that this is what I really wanted to do, but it is. I'm sure this is the right step and at the right time. Mac makes me feel more like I can step out and do other things if I want to, Danny. Does that make sense?"

Danny nodded with a grin. "Yep, because you know he's there supporting you the whole time," he said. "What about your father? How big a risk is he gonna be?"

"I have no idea, I haven't spoken to him in years and I'm not starting now," Adam said. "I do need to talk to Mac though. I want to stop going out in the field."

"Whoa, back up a minute there," Danny said. "You worked hard to get your CSI field cert, Adam. You really sure you want to give all that up?"

"It's not that hard of a choice, really," Adam said. "I've been having more fun this past week than I have in months, Danny, and I've been in the lab the whole time. That tells me that being in here, working the lab, is where I really need to be. It also takes me out of Mac's direct supervision in the field. Yeah, he runs the lab and is responsible for all of us, but he oversees the CSIs more than he does the lab staff. It'll all just be easier long-term."

"Okay, if you're sure, but I think you're gonna have a heck of a time convincing Mac about all this," Danny said.

Adam smiled. "Not really, because he's been behind us for the past three minutes and heard everything I've said."

"You've got good senses, Adam," Mac said with a grin. "I came to see how those tests turned out, but didn't interrupt you two. You're sure, Adam?"

"Yeah, I am," Adam said. "I'm not hiding from my dad in here, Mac. I really do like being in the lab more. I think it took being out in the field to show me that this is where I really belong."

"All right, it's your choice, Adam," Mac said. "I'm not going to force you into anything. Now, along those lines, Flack called and said that your father left town this morning, but we'll have to be alert for him coming back. I'm not convinced that this is over with."

"It's not," Adam said, "but I don't want to let fear rule me, Mac. What else can I do?"

"Just what you've been doing, Adam," Mac said. "It's hard and there's no guarantee the nightmares will ever go away, but I think it's possible you'll be able to keep moving forward with help from your friends."

***

"Mac, would you let me touch you tonight?" Adam asked as they walked into Mac's apartment. The pair was slowly moving Adam's things over and making space for them.

"If that's what you want, but you're not to push yourself," Mac replied. He locked the door behind them and went to put his gun away. "I don't want you out of your comfort zone, Adam, for any reason. I don't care if it takes us years to get to more of a sexual relationship. I'm happy with you as we are."

Adam nodded. "But you'd be happier with sex, wouldn't you?" he asked. "I sort of heard you in the shower the past few mornings."

"How did it make you feel?" Mac asked. "Come on and sit down, let's talk about this first. You heard me jerking off in the showers, I was trying to be quiet so you didn't know what I was doing and feel either pressured or embarrassed. Did you feel either of those things, Adam?"

"Kinda embarrassed when I realized exactly what you were doing, but nothing like I wanted to go and hide from you," Adam said. He cuddled up next to his lover with a happy sigh. "My body got warmer when I thought about you in there, naked and wet, touching yourself. I didn't get hard, but there was definitely some interest there."

Mac slid his hand down Adam's side and around to his butt. "What about touching you here, Adam?" he asked. "Through the cloth. How does that make you feel?"

"Butterflies," Adam said.

"Here?" Mac slipped his hand up under Adam's shirt and ran a finger over a nipple.

Adam arched into the touch a little with a moan. "I like that touch," he said.

"Shirts off?" Mac asked.

"I think I'm okay to try," Adam replied. He sat back and pulled off his t-shirt, eyes down and he knew he was blushing.

"You tell me if you get uncomfortable or want to stop," Mac said. "Adam, look at me. I'm serious about this. I do not want you pushing yourself because you think it's what you have to do."

"I know," Adam said. He reached out and touched Mac's scar with one finger. "Does this ever hurt you?"

"Not anymore, now that I'm used to it being there," Mac said. He slid his hands up Adam's stomach and started to tease the younger man's nipples. "When it was healing up and for a couple of years after that, it would hurt off and on. I've always thought the skin texture was about the same. What do you think."

"I can't really think with you doing that," Adam said. "Why does it feel so good, Mac?"

Mac smiled and leaned in to kiss Adam's neck softly. "The nerve endings there are similar in both men and women," he said. "Not all men are sensitive in their nipples, but I have yet to meet one who isn't."

"I think I really like you doing that," Adam said.

"What about me doing this?" Mac asked. He flicked his tongue over one before catching it with his lips and sucking gently.

Adam arched against him, falling back onto the sofa. Mac moved with his younger lover, being very careful not to brush the bulge that was forming in Adam's jeans, and kept sucking. He nipped it carefully and pulled back. "I guess you really like that," he said softly.

"Kiss?" Adam asked.

"Of course." Mac moved up and caught Adam's mouth with his own. Adam opened to him with a moan and let Mac lead the kiss until they had to break apart for air. "How are you doing, Adam?"

"I think I need friction," Adam said. "Mac, I've never felt like this before and don't know what I should be doing."

"I'm going to let more of my weight down on you, Adam," Mac said. "You're going to feel my erection next to yours and you tell me if it scares you, okay? Me being there will give you something to thrust up against and you should be able to climax from that. This is a good way for you to get comfortable with sex."

Adam nodded and moaned when he felt Mac's body against his. "Not as heavy as I thought you'd be, Mac," he said. His hips started pushing up without any conscious input from him. "Feels so good."

"Just do what comes naturally, Adam. Come apart for me." Mac knew that Adam wasn't going to last long and started to push back against his younger lover, both chasing after his own orgasm, but helping push Adam higher on sensation. Adam bit his lip to keep quiet when he came, something Mac figured tied back to his childhood, and went limp on the sofa. Mac came quickly after his lover and caught himself before he fell onto Adam as dead weight. "You okay, Adam?" he panted.

"I think my brain is shut down," Adam replied.

"That's normal. Rest and catch your breath. We'll need to get cleaned up in a minute or two."

***

Mac met up with Flack outside the crime scene and looked around. "Someone is watching us, Flack," he said softly. "From the treeline over there across the street."

"Always a lot of people watching crime scenes, Mac," Flack said. "I'll let the officer on the door know to keep his eye on the trees. Messer's already inside and working."

"All right, thanks," Mac said. He went in and up the stairs to the second floor. There was an officer outside the door of the crime scene. Mac signed the log and went inside. "Hey Danny, what do you have?"

"Hey Mac, sorry to call you away from the lab when I know you're trying to do mid-term evaluations on everyone, but I thought you needed to see this one," Danny said. He let the camera rest against his chest and pointed towards the bedroom. "I've finished photographing in there, you can go in."

"Danny, you know you can call me any time," Mac said as he pulled on gloves. "I don't care if I'm in a meeting, if you need me, I'll get here as fast as I can."

"Yeah, I know, I just feel bad because you've been trying to get to those reports for a week," Danny said. "I'm kinda curious to see what mine is gonna say."

"Same as it always does, Danny," Mac said. "You've settled into a very competent CSI and I'm proud of you for that." Mac paused when he looked into the bedroom. "Danny."

The younger man came up next to him and nodded. "This was an execution, Mac," he said. "This wasn't just homicide, this was a message for you."

"Adam's father is back in the city," Mac said. He pulled out his phone and called the lab. "This is Detective Taylor. Adam Ross' father is back in town and has killed twice. If he shows up at the lab, he is to be considered armed and dangerous. Shoot to kill."
****

Adam was in his lab working when one of the patrol officers he knew by name came in. "Hey Billy, what's up?" he asked.

"Protection detail, Adam," Billy replied. "Detective Taylor's orders."

"Shit, my dad."

"I'm afraid so. I'm not leaving you alone until Detective Taylor is back in the lab, Adam. We've got you covered, man," Billy said. "You're one of us and no one messes with ours."

"Thanks, Billy," Adam said. "Has there been any sign of my dad?"

"Not here, but we're not taking any chances. Is it all right if I sit here by the door? I'm not going to screw up any tests or anything, am I?"

"No, you're fine there. I'll let you know if you need to move," Adam said. "Mac's on his way back?"

"Unless something has changed between his last phone call in and now, yep," Billy said. "Adam, we've got everyone on alert. Your father isn't getting into this building. Not unless he's willing to take down every officer between the door and here."

Adam nodded, but didn't say that he father would do anything to get to him. He just wanted Mac back in the lab where he could see that his older lover was safe."
****

Mac checked in and hurried up to Adam's lab. He knew that his younger lover was safe in the lab, he just wasn't sure how Adam would be taking the news and wanted to make sure that he was okay. "Hey."

"Anything?" Adam asked.

"Not yet, but everyone is looking for him," Mac replied. "Come on to my office. We need to talk about a few things."

Adam nodded and stripped off his gloves, pausing to wash his hands before he went to Mac's office. He sat down in the chair across the desk from Mac and tried not to let on how nervous he was. "What's up?"

"First of all, I love you and I'm not leaving you for anything," Mac said softly.

"I know."

"I wanted you to hear it again. Adam, your father killed two men either last night or this morning in an attempt to draw you out of the lab," Mac said. "Danny pulled the case and called me in when he realized what he was seeing at the crime scene. The victims didn't suffer, but it wasn't a pretty death."

"Death never is, Mac," Adam said. "We have to stay here tonight, don't we?"

"I think it'll be safer, yes," Mac said. "I know we can't hide in the lab forever, but being in the middle of about two hundred officers will keep us safe until your father is found. I'm going to keep you on the edges of this case, Adam. Both because there could be concerns raised later about conflict of interest, but also because I don't want to risk triggering flashbacks."

"Okay," Adam said. "Is there anything I can do to help out?"

"Keep working on the case you were already processing," Mac said. "Danny and I are working the homicide and we'll be able to run tests if we need to. Adam, I know you're fully capable of working the case, I'm just worried about you."

"Mac, you said I could question you away from work about anything. Here, when we're on the clock, you make the decisions and I follow," Adam said. "I know why you're doing this and I understand. I'm not upset about being pulled away from it. I don't know how objective I'd be able to be."

"Adam, this is just one reason of many that I love you," Mac said.

***

Adam fell asleep on the sofa in Mac's office when his shift was over. Mac wasn't tired and didn't know if he would be able to get to sleep or not as long as there was a threat to his lover roaming around the city. He stayed at his desk and worked on whatever paperwork he could find that needed to be completed. He wasn't sure what time it was when Flack tapped lightly on the glass and motioned for him to come out into the lab.

"Don?"

"He decided he wanted to shoot it out," Flack said softly. "I don't know how sane he was, Mac, but the threat's gone."

Mac looked back into his office with a sigh. "I wish I knew how this was going to impact Adam," he said. "He's already had such a hard time with it all, this could just make things worse."

"Or it could make 'em better," Flack said. "Adam's strong and he's got you, Mac. Hell, he's got all of us if it comes down to it, but he's got you. That more than anything'll help him through this."

"I hope you're right, Don," Mac said. "Thanks for coming to tell me. I'm going to take Adam home. I know from experience that sleeping on that sofa isn't easy."

"See you tomorrow," Flack said.

Mac went back into his office and went immediately to his lover, kneeling down next to the sofa. "Adam," he whispered. "Hey, can you wake up?"

"Time to work again?" Adam asked sleepily.

"No, time to go home," Mac replied with a fond smile. His lover was not quick to wake up. "Come on, let's go sleep in a real bed, how does that sound?"

"What about my dad?"

"He took the easy way out," Mac said. "I'm sorry, Adam."

Adam sat up and moved in for a hug, not caring that they were in the lab. "Even with how much he hurt me, I never wanted him dead, Mac," he whispered. "Not like this."

"I know, Adam, I know," Mac said. "It's because you're such a good man. I'm so proud of you for how well you're handling the situation. You're being so strong right now, I'm so proud of you."

"I don't know what to feel," Adam admitted.

"That's okay too," Mac said. "Come on, let's go home." He pulled back and helped Adam up as well. "You can feel whatever you want whenever you want and no one is going to judge you for that, least of all me. I'll be here for you no matter what, Adam. Now, when we get home, you are going to take a hot shower and eat something before we go to bed, okay?"

"I don't know if I can eat, Mac."

"Will you try for me?"

Adam thought about it. He knew they were off the clock so it was one of Mac's firm suggestions, not an order. "Yeah," he finally said. "I'll try."

***

Mac pushed Adam gently towards the shower when they got home and went to the kitchen to cook something light. He knew that Adam was odd about food anyway, too many problems around meals growing up, but hoped that he'd at least manage a few bites before they went to sleep. There was never any way to tell how death was going to impact those left behind, and Mac knew that an abuser dying just made it that much more complicated. Adam's emotions would be in turmoil for a while.

"Hey."

"That was fast, you okay?"

Adam sat down at the table and rubbed his face. "I don't know," he admitted. "All my life, Mac, I hated what he did, how he treated me. I knew if I stayed at the house, he'd kill me one day so I ran and never looked back. I might have even hated him at a few points, but I never once wanted him dead."

"I know, Adam," Mac said. He brought two mugs of soup over to the table and sat down next to his lover. "He was your father and that bond would have formed before the problems from the abuse started. It's normal to not want your parents to die and I would be very surprised if you had. I have known children who were abused by their parents who have wanted them dead, but never got that feeling from you. You're a gentle soul, Adam."

"What does that mean?" Adam asked. "I've never heard that term before."

Mac smiled. "It's something my grandmother would say about people who are kind to everyone, those who want to help as much as they and work to being a good person in their community," he said. "I think she'd agree with me that you're a gentle soul. Adam, your emotions are going to be all over the board for the next few weeks. I want you to talk to me about what you're feeling. Don't hide from me."

"There's my drill sergeant," Adam said with a smile. "I kinda like it when he shows up."

"I'm taking you down to Quantico one of these days so you can hear a real Marine drill sergeant working, you won't think I sound so much like one after that," Mac said. "I think your nightmares are probably going to come back too. I know there's no way to predict exactly what's going to happen, but like I told you in my office, I'm here and I'm not leaving you for any reason. You're allowed to have mood swings and feel whatever it is you need to feel in order to heal from this. I don't want you hiding away. You've made too much progress to do that, Adam. I'm probably going to be pushing you more than I have been, and I want you to be ready for that."

Adam nodded. "I'll do my best not to get into a sulk," he said. He looked at the soup. "How much do you want me to eat?"

"Whatever you can manage, love," Mac said. "I know you're really probably not hungry, but it's been a long time since dinner and I don't want your blood sugar to get messed up. Just do your best for me."

"I'll try," Adam said.

"That's all I'm ever going to ask of you, Adam, is that you try," Mac said. "As long as you don't give up, you'll be fine."

"You wouldn't let me give up, Mac."

Mac sighed. "There are different kinds of giving up, and a couple I wouldn't be able to stop, no matter how much I would want to," he said. "Promise you'll tell me if you start feeling depressed or overly emotional about things?"

"Yeah, I can do that," Adam said. "I don't want to go anywhere either, Mac. Except maybe to bed. I'm really tired."

"All right, go brush your teeth and get ready for bed," Mac said. "I'll be in as soon as I get the kitchen squared up. We don't have to be at the lab until eleven tomorrow, so we can sleep in a little."

"Stella?"

"Yep, she heard what happened and threatened me if I brought you in before then," Mac said. "Go on, Adam, I'll be right behind you."

***

"Hey, I heard what happened, are you holding up okay?" Danny asked quietly.

Adam looked up from the computer he was working on. "I don't know," he replied. "Mac and I talked last night and he warned me that I'd be feeling a lot of crap, but I didn't know it was going to be like this. I mean, I'm glad I don't have to always have that fear in the background of my dad showing up and hurting me again, but I feel bad that he's dead. I know he killed those guys in cold blood and, if he wasn't dead, he'd be heading to prison for the rest of his life and he wouldn't survive in there. Having to bend to someone else's will would kill him pretty quickly. So I'm happy he's not going to prison, but then it's like I can barely remember some good times with him and I'm sad about how everything ended up."

"Sounds about right," Danny said. "It's going to take you time to work through all this, Adam, and I think you're emotions are going to get into even worse of a tangle before they level out and you're starting to feel okay again. Mac and me, we're here if you need to talk."

"I know, thanks, Danny," Adam said. "Stella's keeping an eye on me today. I don't know what she's watching for, but she's been in here about six times already."

"She's just making sure you're okay and no one's picking on you," Danny said. "She does the same to me when I'm having trouble with something. Want me to talk to her about it?"

"Nah, it's fine. She's out in the field with Lindsay and Hawkes right now anyway," Adam said. "I don't know when they're going to be back, but from the call, I think it's going to be a while. I was going to finish up this report and go eat."

"Want company?"

"That'd be great, Danny, thanks."
****

"You ate more than I was expecting you to today," Mac commented that night when they were back in the apartment.

Adam looked up from his dinner. "Danny came in and sat with me. I think talking to him about a new video game that's coming out next month distracted me and I was done eating before I realized I had gone through everything you packed."

"Danny's remarkable when it comes to picking up on problems in the lab," Mac said. "How did you do today?"

"You were right about the emotions, Mac. I was all over the place today, and I'm not sure what I'm feeling right now."

"Adam, you weren't at the lab when Claire died, so you wouldn't know about this except for rumor," Mac said. "I turned into a zombie for months. I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't eating properly, and that had a negative impact on my work. Hell, I almost lost Danny from the lab because I was all over the board. In fact, that was what helped me realize that I needed to focus on myself rather than what I'd lost. Stella helped, she almost physically pulled me away from the towers one night after work, but it took a pretty bad shock to jar me back into life. That's why I know what you're going through, but also what I need to be watching for."

"I can't imagine losing anyone like that," Adam said.

"So many lives were lost that day, she's one of so many, and I've since spoken with some other families who lost loved ones that day," Mac said. "That helped, too. Do you think you would be comfortable in a group setting talking with others who survived what you did?"

"I don't know," Adam admitted. "I've never really had counseling for the abuse. I know I should have, but I thought I'd be able to handle it. Going to something like that wouldn't make the people at work look at me differently, would it?"

"I think they'd be behind you completely," Mac said. "You don't have to do it, but if you want to, I'll be right there to support you every step of the way."

***

ONE YEAR LATER.....


"Hey Mac, I think I'm ready," Adam said. The pair had spent the past year slowly learning about each other, Mac teaching Adam about being touched, and Adam slowly being able to touch Mac in return. The counseling helped a lot and everyone at the lab commented on how much happier and stable Adam seemed. He still wasn't over everything that happened to him, but he knew he was overcoming his past to move forward with his lover.

"Ready for what?" Mac asked. He handed Adam a wet dish and picked up a pot to scrub.

"Sex," Adam replied, cheeks flushing a faint red. "I still don't know if I'm ready to let you have control though. Is that going to be a problem?"

Mac grinned. "Not at all. I enjoy both positions, Adam, and if you think you're ready, then we can try," he said. "However, if you start feeling out of your comfort zone, or you think something is going to make you panic, you stop. Don't worry about me, there's other ways to bring pleasure and we don't have to do this tonight."

"I know," Adam said. He loved the firmer tone that Mac used around the house. It was different from his boss tone, and Adam thought it was because there was more love in the home tone than the boss tone. "I set up the bedroom while you were cooking dinner."

"I thought you were napping," Mac said.

"Nope, I wanted to surprise you," Adam said. "Is that the last pot?"

"Wipe down the stove and counter over there while I finish this up," Mac said. "I suppose you bought supplies for us at some point, Adam?"

"Yeah, last week. I've been thinking about this for a while," Adam admitted. "I just wasn't sure about the best time or the best way to bring it up."

"All you have to do is ask me," Mac said. He rinsed his hands, dried them off and hung the dish towels up to dry. "You know I'm willing to try whatever you want to, Adam. I'm just going to hold firm to our rules. I never want to do anything that is going to hurt you."

Adam wrapped Mac in a hug. "I know, and I know you'll never hurt me," he said softly. "Right here, this is where I feel the safest, Mac."

Mac pressed a kiss to Adam's neck. "If I could work out a way for you to feel this all the time, I'd do it in a second," he said. "Go on into the bedroom, Adam. I'll be there in a second."

"Hurry," Adam whispered. Part of him couldn't believe that they were finally going to be able to be together sexually. He'd been working through so many things for the time they'd been together that he didn't think it would ever be possible. Mac hadn't told him to undress, but Adam went ahead and slipped out of his shirt and jeans, leaving his boxers on and then dug out the lube and condoms he'd bought.

"You know what you need to do," Mac said, coming up behind him. "Where do you want me?"

"On the bed," Adam said. "Did you undress in the living room?"

"Bathroom," Mac grinned. "I'm going to have a night when we focus on each other, but I thought getting the first time nerves out of the way might be a good idea first. I remember my first time, I didn't last long."

"Is that your way of telling me I'm going to climax before you do?" Adam asked. He knelt next to Mac on their bed and bent down to kiss him softly. "I somehow pictured my first time as more romantic."

Mac laughed. "We can do romantic if you want to, Adam, but I think that getting to things right away tonight is a better idea. Besides, you can see how excited I already am about the idea," he said. "Why don't we get you through tonight, get you past the shakes, and then you can seduce me tomorrow night."

"That works," Adam said with a grin. He picked up the lube. "I'm still scared about hurting you doing this."

"You've done fine the past few times," Mac said. "Just go slowly when adding in more fingers." He moaned when the first pressed into him. "Three fingers is pretty much the same as one. Remember to pay attention to my body's signals, especially if we're kissing. The body doesn't lie, Adam."

"I know what happens in theory," Adam said. He added lube and slid two fingers into his lover for the first time. "But you're tight, Mac. How do I do this without hurting you badly?"

"Spend time on the prep," Mac said. "I know a man down in the clubs that uses toys to get his sub ready. They can make penetration easier, but you have to know what you're doing to use one for prep. Fingers makes it so you can feel the way your partner's body is relaxing, how stretched open they are, and so you can know when to add in fingers."

"I can't believe you can still lecture when I'm doing this," Adam said.

"It takes a lot to get my brain to lose track of what's going on," Mac said. He arched against the stretch when three fingers pushed into him. "I'm fine, Adam, it just feels good and it's been so long since I've allowed myself to feel this."

"Do you usually top?"

"I have to really love and trust someone to let them do this," Mac said. "You're doing fine, keep going."

"Is there anything else I need to be doing?"

"Not tonight, you're fine," Mac sighed. "I forgot how good this feels. When you're penetrating me, Adam, watch my face for cues. It'll be the best way for you to know what I'm feeling."

"Are you sure you're ready?" Adam asked. "Shouldn't I have to spend more time getting you open for me?"

"You're fine, whenever you're ready," Mac replied. "Remember what I said though, if you start getting uncomfortable, we'll stop."

Adam took a deep breath and nodded. He pulled back and got the condom open and on before slicking lube over everything. "I think nerves will keep my climax at bay for a bit, Mac," he said as he moved into place.

"Say that again when you're in me," Mac grinned. He groaned when Adam breached him for the first time. "So good, Adam."

"Okay, see what you mean," Adam managed. "How do people last?"

"Practice," Mac said. "You can move, Adam. It doesn't matter how long you last, don't try and hold back for me. I'll be fine."

"Want you to feel good too," Adam said as he started thrusting. His body wanted him to move faster, to get as much of the tight heat as possible around his erection until he came, but his brain wanted to hold on for Mac. He didn't know if it was possible or not, but he was going to try. Mac wrapped his legs around Adam's waist and moved back against his lover, one hand wrapped around his erection for extra sensation. He could tell that Adam was fighting to hold on and wanted to get up to the same level as quickly as he could.

"Getting close, Adam," Mac panted. "Don't hold back for me, if you need to come, then come."

Adam groaned at the words and let his body go. He slumped down onto his lover just as Mac's climax hit, wetness spreading between their bodies. "Wow," Adam managed.

"You did amazing," Mac said, kissing Adam's cheek. "See why I wanted to wait on romance?"

"Yeah, good idea," Adam panted. "Don't think I would have survived."

"It's only going to get better from here, Adam," Mac promised, wrapping his lover in a hug. "When you can move again, we'll go shower. Starting tomorrow, I'll show you more of what we can do together, along with slow and romantic. Just for you."

***