Title: Hitting (the) Jackpot
Author: Dee
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3617
Pairing: Gil/Nick
Characters: Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows
Warnings: AU and v.fluffy
Spoilers: V.small for the one where Gil goes to Jackpot to find the body to the head
Disclaimer: In my dreams they are like, totally mine!
Beta: jayceepat and podga for their invaluable help in the Americanisation of the fic and their insightful comments, which I may well have ignored! I thank high_striker for his wonderful icon. I am indebted to them all. Any errors are mine.
A/N: A complete and utter fluffy thing and you notice the complete absence of a certain character!

It had been a few years since Gil had been to Jackpot and now he was wending his way to the township once more.

 

Things were different now.

 

Catherine was driving her truck and Gil was the passenger ruminating on his last visit and what had happened in the ensuing years. They had been on the road for forty minutes and had hardly spoken.  Gil knew that this was the quiet before the storm - there was no way that Catherine could be quiet for that long, especially when she must be bursting to know.

 

The last time he’d been in Jackpot, Lieutenant Brookes had obstructed Gil as much as he could because he’d believed his brother had murdered a young man.  It transpired that his brother was gay and had hidden his sexuality from everyone because of the shame attached to the label. 

 

It had all been sorted in the end and Gil had left Jackpot on fairly good terms with the lawman. 

 

How things change.

 

Gil remembered that Brookes had assumed Gil had been speaking to his wife on his cell when in fact it had been Catherine.  Did they have that kind of easy relationship that could be mistaken for more than the friends they were?  Or used to be.

 

Gil’s life had never been as complicated before – never – and yet he’d never been happier – ever.  He sighed and his shoulders lifted in an exaggerated shrug.  It hadn’t been intended to incite Catherine, not for one moment had he considered that she would take it as some sort of signal from him to begin her tirade against him.  But begin it she did and he jumped as she spoke to him, not shouting but there was no doubting her aggression.

 

“Don’t give me that ‘what’s got into the woman now’ expression; you know darn well what it is Gil….”

 

“Catherine, I just sighed and relaxed my shoulders it was not an expression of anything at all.”

 

“Yeah, like I believe anything you say now.  There was a time, Gil, when you were reasonably straightforward and I was a friend…at least I thought I was…maybe I was ‘just’ a work colleague like everyone else.”

 

“Catherine you are my friend, I don’t want anything to change, you know I don’t.” Gil was somewhat disgusted with himself since he sounded as if he may well be whining; morphing into a petulant adolescent.

 

“Well I don’t feel as if you acted friendly towards me at all Gil, to find something like this out the same as everybody else when you make the ‘announcement’.  Being ‘friends’ Gil, means you could have confided in me.”

 

This was what was peeving her then, that she didn’t know beforehand, had no clue and didn’t notice what was going on right in front of her.

 

“Ah, I’ve cracked it!”  Gil was smiling now and his tone was light and teasing.

“You’re upset, not because we didn’t tell you but because you didn’t know, never suspected what was going on right under your pretty little nose.”

 

The teasing didn’t go down well and Catherine took her eyes off the road to glance at Gil and yell, “What?  Don’t be ridiculous – I’ll tell you why, Gil, it’s because you didn’t trust me – okay?”

 

“Of course I trust you, I always have and always will – but this was different Catherine, even you have to acknowledge that.  This was completely uncharted waters for me; my private life was always private.  But do you know why, really why?  It was because it was empty, a void; I had no private life and it was private because there was nothing to tell, nothing at all…..”

 

“But when there was something to tell you said nothing…for two years Gil…not a word.”

 

“By the time we really were together and wanted to tell you all, we both got cold feet and then worried that it would fall apart if there were outside influences coming to bear.  This is a PD we’re talking about…you know, rednecks, bigots, that kind of thing.  And, I was his supervisor, I could have been fired Catherine, don’t underestimate the reverberations homosexuality still has in public service.”

 

“Oh Gil, I’m not underestimating anything and I understand that it is a momentous decision you made and I have nothing but admiration for both of you, but if you say I was, am, your friend, then why couldn’t you have told me…Jim knew, didn’t he?”

 

“Yes, he did…but that was by accident.  I suppose the longer we left it the more difficult it was to tell you, or anyone and it was also rather…clandestine, and…I don’t know…sexy…I suppose…to have such a secret.”

 

Catherine’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets – this was Gil Grissom – sharing a secret, she had NO doubt about that and made a quick decision.

 

“Okay then, I’m tending to believe you here so go on, tell me about it, we’ve got a good hour ahead of us it’ll pass the time. Tell me how you and Nicky Stokes became a couple – this has got to be good.”

 

Gil looked at Catherine; he’d never told anyone about his private life, except Nick and as he’d already told her there was little or nothing to tell before Nick – but so much since.  Should he tell her?  He did trust her and it was supposed to be good to share, Nick told him that, Nick told him everything.  There were some things he’d never tell anyone, but he was sure Nick wouldn’t mind him relating their romantic little tale.  When he had a private moment he’d call Nick and tell him what he’d done. 

 

Now that was one thing he wouldn’t tell Catherine; she probably wouldn’t believe him anyway if he told her that Nick was the driving force in their relationship that he deferred to Nick, most, if not all of the time.  That he enjoyed being the partner, who was not exactly submissive, but certainly not the dominant member of the partnership.

 

“So…the first thing I should say is that Nick hates being called ‘Nicky’…that is by anyone other than me…”

 

“Riiiggghhhttt! Go on…”

 

“Well.  I’ve never been attracted to men you know, I meant what I said about my private life, there was never much to tell; you know I dated a few women, unsuccessfully, but that’s about all in the past…  But Nick.  Nick got under my skin immediately I met him when he joined us.  I could admire a man’s looks, I can see when a man is handsome, but Nick was, is, the whole package and I was taken with his enthusiasm and knowledge; his thirst for knowledge and his charm and ease in the company of anyone, from witness to felon.  I was jealous of him Catherine, his easy manner, his openness…”

 

“…is that why you were so horrible to him?”

 

“You noticed?”

 

“The lab did Gil; surely Nick must have said something to you about how you behaved?”

 

“Give me a chance here Catherine, I’m setting the scene.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Yes I was particularly cutting and dismissive of him, I know now it was because of my growing attraction towards him.  I had always hoped I was very liberal in my outlook and accepting of every form of sexuality – to each their own – but it did faze me Catherine, that I suddenly had these feelings.  I swear one day they weren’t there and the next day they were.  Nick was everywhere I went.  Every corner I took I would nearly bump into him, every lab I entered he’d be there or follow me in, quite legitimately.  God, even the locker room and the bathroom – I began to think we had synchronized bladders.”

 

Catherine laughed out loud.  She was in her element here; she was getting the low-down and getting Gil talking.  She was happy.

 

“So Nick did approach me about my behaviour.  He came to see me after a shift, after everyone else had gone home.  It was awful, truly awful; he didn’t mean to, but he became very upset, he didn’t know what he’d done wrong but that he was sorry anyway.  You do realise that this is very private stuff don’t you Catherine?  You must never repeat this to anyone, I know Nick’ll be fine with me telling you but that’s it, it doesn’t go any further.”

 

“Gil, please.”

 

“I know, just checking.  Well he was at a loss as to my behaviour and what he’d done to piss me off.  I couldn’t sit there with him.  I was horrified at what I’d done – he was taking the blame and wanting me to forgive him.  I had to leave him and go vomit, that’s how bad I felt; then I felt worse leaving him as I fled my office.  If it wasn’t so tragic it would’ve been funny.  We do see the funny side now, because it was the start, you see…of ‘us’.   

 

“When I got back he was getting ready to leave – pulling himself together.  I stopped in front of him and…it all came out in a long sentence and in one breath, not like me at all.  But I said it was MY fault not his, he had nothing to apologise about, I had been victimising him and that he should go to Mobley and complain about me.  He was taken aback and you know Nick – he wasn’t going to complain or anything like that he just wanted to know how he could get better. 

 

“He then suggested it - IT – Catherine, out first breakfast together, without the rest of the shift.  The two of us went to Angelo’s and had a breakfast that neither of us could eat, too much coffee, and a difficult conversation. 

 

“As unbelievable as it sounds, I’m a million times better now, than I was then, at this talking and expressing emotion thing.  I’m telling you for God’s sake!”

 

“It hasn’t escaped my notice Gil, believe me and if this is just one thing Nicky…Nick has done for you, then I’m all for it, go on, you’re on a roll.”

 

“Well that breakfast was awful and yet it wasn’t – I could hardly articulate a sentence, let alone explain to a straight man that I was another straight man until ‘you’ came along, and was spending my middle aged life in the throes of a hormonal storm reminiscent of my teens.”

 

“Oh, wow, are we going to get to the good bits any time now?”

 

“WE?” Gil said, waving his hand between the two of them. “Catherine, ‘we’ are never going to get to the ‘good bits’ as you call them, THAT is private and will remain private!”

 

“Aww Gil, go one…just a snippet?” Catherine wasn’t above a little begging.

 

“No.”

 

“Spoil sport!  Go on then, and leave out the good bits why don’t ya!” 

 

“The diner was excruciating but we got by, Nick wasn’t expecting a lot, I was hardly renowned for my verbosity, but he was glad that I had said he hadn’t done anything wrong and I was relieved it was at least out in the open…well some of it.

 

“We finished up and I dropped Nick back at his condo…and no, he didn’t invite me in, but he did say that perhaps we could have breakfast again sometime and sort of chew things over.  I was good with that and was more relaxed than I’d been for weeks.  We agreed to leave it a few days and catch a breakfast the following Saturday.  And that’s what we did.  It was much easier than before and we actually chatted about work and our hobbies, my bugs, of course; did you know about Nick’s knowledge about birds?”

 

“No.”

 

“Me neither at the time, but it’s no lie Catherine, that Nick is as knowledgeable about American ornithology as I am about entomology.  He doesn’t brag about it like me, though.”

 

“You don’t exactly brag Gil, it’s just that you know things and like everyone else to share your knowledge, so you lecture us at the slightest opportunity.”

 

“Nick said the same thing you know, I’m very obvious, aren’t I?”  Gil was chuckling.

 

“That would have to be a ‘yes Gil’.  Go on, we’ll be in Jackpot before you’ve even started the good stuff!”

 

“Well the second breakfast was much better and we were still in the diner two hours later.  It was Nick’s night off and he said there was a film he wanted to see and had no one to go with, did I think I could go with him the next afternoon, late, so I could sleep, but early enough to get to work, so I said I would.  I hadn’t told him about my…feelings for him though.

 

“In retrospect, and Nick denies it to this day, he was asking me out on our first date.  He says he had no such thought; he just wanted to hang out.  And to this day I don’t believe him, but do I care?  Of course not!  I wasn’t so keen the next day, it was that old cinema that does retro, you know, it was a showing of ‘The Alamo’, close to his Texan heart but more or less off my radar.  But you know I enjoyed it, he was so happy to be there and be relaxed that it was infectious – but I was heading for trouble.”

 

Gil stopped for a few gulps of water to soothe his vocal cords; he hadn’t done this much talking for a long time, except to Nick.  He could see that Catherine was impatient for him to continue.

 

“The feelings that I had for him were intensifying, they had been bad enough in the lab when I saw him infrequently, but now we’d had two meals together, and been sitting in close proximity in the theatre.  I was as confused as I had ever been and let me tell you I’ve never been lucid in these sort of situations.”

 

“You don’t say?” Catherine couldn’t resist the sarcastic remark.

 

Gil grinned, “It is a wonder we did get together; Nick thought I was as straight, as I thought he was…..”

 

“What?  Are you saying that Nick wasn’t in the same boat as you, confused about the sexual aspect and all?”

 

“He was confused alright, but about me not about his sexuality.  Nick has known since he was in High School that he was gay, but had to hide it while in Texas.  It was the main reason he moved to Las Vegas.  He was hardly promiscuous, but he was able to pursue some relationships, but none had worked out and he had a few mishaps on the way….”

 

“Kristy Hopkins.”

 

“Kristy Hopkins.  He just liked her a lot; he thought he could help her out of her life as a hooker, but…well you know what happened.”

 

“He did sleep with her.”

 

“Yes, he did and he has ‘slept’ with other women too, but he prefers men.  No…he prefers me actually.”

 

Catherine could see out of the corner of her eye that Gil had a sort of dopey look about him; for over two years together he did a good impression of a man madly in love.

 

“What I want to know is how you got from being just buddies to being fu…bedmates…come on…..”

 

“It was very difficult….’  Seeing Catherine roll her eyes he continued, “…you didn’t think I’d do easy did you?

 

“We kept up our little rendezvous’s for about three months and it was another Saturday when we were both off; we’d gone up to that seafood place at the lake.  Great meal and I was relaxed, but Nick was edgy, not quite his normal self, so I asked him what was wrong.  What he told me changed our lives.

 

“He couldn’t look at me over the table so we took a walk along the shore.  He told me he’d kept a secret from everyone and that he hoped I would keep it for him as well and he just said, ‘I’m gay, Gil.’  I was stunned.  I stopped in my tracks and looked at him. I couldn’t move or speak I just looked at this beautiful man standing in the moonlight on the shore of Lake Mead.  The only thing missing was the violins.  He was about to become upset, I could tell.  He turned and started to walk away from me - back to the truck and said, ‘Forget it Gil, I didn’t mean to embarrass you, I won’t mention it again and you’ll be safe, we can stop our little excursions.’

 

“You would have been proud of me Catherine, although I couldn’t move and my voice was like someone who’d inhaled nitrous oxide, I shouted to his back, ‘Come back here you idiot, come back.’  He stopped and turned around and my paralysis cured itself.  I went over to him and put my hands on his arms and said, ‘Would you have any objection if I kissed you?  I want to’.  Well he gave me one of his most fabulous smiles, grin really, and then we kissed and that’s it, that’s how we got together.”

 

“You’re not stopping there Gil, you can’t leave it like that; you said it was difficult and that seemed like it was easy.”

 

“No more, Catherine…and that bit did turn out to be easy but of course I had to make it difficult.”  

 

“Gil Grissom if you value your life you’ll tell me what trials and tribulations you went through and how did Jim find out.  Tell me that.”

 

Gil was enjoying this power he’d discovered he had over Catherine.  He wasn’t going to relate too much more but the ‘Jim’ bit was short.

 

“We were at a scene – we’d been together, ‘together’, about six months.  No one had guessed or even suspected that we were a couple.  Up on the interstate, it was dark and slippery and Nick and I thought we were the only ones left there tying up the ends.  I slipped and Nick caught me and held me in his arms, longer than co-workers were supposed to…”

 

“….and you kissed….”

 

“No, we didn’t, but Nick had a smudge on his cheek and I wiped it away and he leaned into my touch just for a couple of moments.  But long enough for Jim to see, he’s got 20/20 vision and I swear he can see in the dark.”  Gil started chuckling again.

 

“Stop that and get on with it.”

 

“No, I was just remembering that years ago Sara did the same to me at a scene, and it was brought up in a court case.”

 

“Not bothered about Sara, get on with Jim, what did he do?”

 

“Asked me to go for a drink a couple of nights later and we went to Marty’s Bar.  We settled in a booth and I had a JD ready to go and he just said ‘What’s this with you and Nick?’  I was caught, I can tell you, I’d been very smug about being discreet and after the months we’d been together I thought we’d cracked it.  So this threw me a loop, I can tell you.  I tried my inscrutable look – you know my inscrutable look?”

 

“Errr, no, which one’s that, exactly?”

 

“If I have to tell you, it obviously isn’t working and it didn’t work on Jim either.  He just looked awhile and then said ‘Come on give it up.’  I was well and truly cornered Catherine.  So I told him, and he was completely okay with it.  Read me the riot act about the supervisor stuff and about telling the suits, but promised me he’d say nothing and do you know what Catherine?”

 

“He wanted a threesome with you an……”

 

“NO!  What on earth Catherine….?”

 

“It’s called ‘a joke’ Gil, you know a funny remark, you make enough of them yourself – although yours are usually morbid - you should recognise one.”

 

“To be completely honest I don’t see a joke in even thinking that I would share Nicky with anyone.”

 

“Darn!”

 

“Good Lord Catherine, this is a side of you I think I would prefer not to know!”  But Gil was teasing now.  Not that he would share Nick with anyone, at all, ever.

 

“He‘s a real good looking guy Gil, but I’ve always felt - not motherly - but sisterly I suppose, towards Nicky...Nick…and you…I don’t know, one time maybe, you and me, but I couldn’t have put up with your…your…well you.  Really.”  She turned and grinned at him, quickly, and then turned her eyes back to the road.

 

“Really?”

 

“Come on; we wouldn’t make the grade…we could kill each other and no one would know…you’re just too…and well, I’m too volatile.”

 

“Right.”

 

“Stop it; you know what I mean.  Do you know where to go from here?”

 

They were coming up to the outskirts of Jackpot and would be at their destination in a couple of minutes.

 

“Yeah.  Take a right after the bend and we’ll be there.”

 

“Do not think, for one moment, Gil Grissom, that that is the end of this matter….you have the journey home to recount just how you tried to sabotage your relationship with Nick…and you will tell me. Don’t give me that long suffering look...you know I’m right.”

 

“I’ve already told you too much and I’ve already started to regret it…you’ll have to get Nick to tell you anything else and, despite what everyone thinks, he is a master of deflection…I had no secrets to keep but Nick did and he kept them…for years.”

 

Catherine was actually happier with that - she’d get Nick to talk.  No problem with that at all…or so she thought.

 

The End

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