Title: It's Up To You
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Adam Ross
Fandom: CSI: Vegas/CSI: NY
Warnings: on-going series, BDSM
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Adam Ross, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***Greg stared at Adam across the table, unable to process what he'd just heard. Adam was a dom? This gentle-looking young man? He would never have guessed that -- or maybe he would. There was a gleam in Adam's eyes that should have told him something.
There was more to this man than met the eye. There was obviously a side to Adam that he didn't let the world see -- and it was a side that Greg wanted to discover. There was something intense and maybe even a little dangerous in those eyes, something that he wanted to explore.
"You're surprised that I'm a dom in the bedroom, aren't you?" Adam said softly, his grip on Greg's thin wrist tightening. "Don't ever judge anybody by what you might think you see on the outside, Greg. Everybody has their secrets. And I've got a lot of those."
"I've got a few myself," Greg managed to say, forcing himself not to try to pull his wrist from Adam's grasp. If they were going to have any kind of a relationship, he had to show Adam that he wasn't afraid -- and there had to be a trust born between them here and now.
Of course he trusted Adam. He might not have done much more than dabble in a little bondage that never went that far, but he'd read enough about it to know that a submissive had to trust his dominant. That was the basis for any kind of relationship within that world.
"I'll bet you do," Adam said with a smirk, releasing Greg's wrist. "I'll find them all out, eventually. And you'll find out what mine are, too. I don't hold anything back when I'm involved with somebody. You'll know all about me. And that's just for starters. I'll show you a whole new world."
"I don't doubt that," Greg told him, resisting the urge to rub his wrist where Adam's grip had been so tight that it was almost bruising. "I'm just trying to figure out if what you have to show me is something that I'm going to be an equal partner in. I'm not the subservient type."
Adam shook his head, sighing. "You seem like you know enough about my lifestyle to know better than that," he admonished softly, not taking his eyes from Greg's face. "The sub is always the one in control. You're the one who says when to stop. Or to keep going."
"I know that," Greg told him, picking at an imaginary piece of lint on the tablecloth. "I guess what I need to know is if this is just going to be a master and slave relationship, or if there are real feelings involved on your side. I'm not down for just being somebody's plaything."
"I wouldn't bring this up with you if I didn't think that there would be real emotion between us," Adam said softly, reaching out to take Greg's hand again. This time, he twined their fingers together, his grip gentle. "Greg, I don't just want you. I like you."
"I like you, too," Greg told him, keeping his voice quiet and steady. "A lot. I'm just not real sure about the lifestyle you're into. I've messed around with it a little, but I've never really trusted anybody enough to let them do .... well, to pull me all the way into it."
"You have to trust me," Adam told him, squeezing Greg's hand. "That's why I want us to just get to know each other first. That doesn't mean I don't want to sleep with you," he added hastily as Greg's face fell in disappointment. "I'll just introduce you to my world slowly."
"Do you think I'll be able to fit into that world?" Greg blurted out, unable to keep from voicing the question. "I've always been interested in it, but like I said, there's the trust issue. What if you want to move faster than I do -- or vice versa?"
"If you want to move things along, then I'm not going argue," Adam said, his voice still soft. "Just take this one step at a time, Greg, okay? Yeah, I want you. And maybe I came on a little too strong at first. But I'm not going to rush you, or force you into anything you're not ready for."
"Okay, then." Greg took a deep breath, leaning back in the booth and focusing his gaze on their hands, fingers entwined. "So where do we go from here? We know that we want each other. We've laid our cards on the table, so to speak. What now?"
"What would you usually do now? Just take me back to your place and spend a few hours under the covers with me?" Adam asked with a laugh. "We can do that. Or we can just talk for a while, and then go back to our respective places and go to sleep. It's up to you."
"That's a completely different attitude than the one you had a few minutes ago," Greg countered, his gaze never leaving their entwined hands. "I know you want me. And I think you want me in more than a casual kind of way. I know I want you as more than that."
"A dom taking on a sub is never casual," Adam told him, his voice sharpening a little. "If I just wanted casual sex, I'd never even have told you about that side of me, Greg. Of course I want you as more than a casual fling. I want you for a long time to come."
"I want you, too," Greg said softly, knowing that his words would seal the deal between them. "I'm not going to say that I'm not still a little apprehensive about the lifestyle, but I don't have to sign some kind of contract to be a part of it, do I?"
"No, you don't," said Adam with a laugh. "And if you think that I'll just dump you if you don't want to be a part of that life, then you're wrong. I'd like to keep seeing you even if you decide that you're not into it. But I should tell you that if it's the case, you won't be the only person I'm with."
Greg looked down at that, swallowing hard. "So, what you're saying is that you want me -- but if I decide that I don't want to be your sub, you'll find somebody who will, even if you keep m-me too. Is that it?" He couldn't keep his voice from trembling as he forced the words out.
"What do you want from me, Greg?" Adam let go of his hand, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest with a sigh. "I can't give up something that's such a big part of who I am. And if you don't want that, then I have to get what I need somewhere."
"Even if you don't love the person?" Greg asked, his voice very low, the words nearly inaudible. "Even if you're just with them for the sex? That's not a relationship, Adam. That's just fucking. And I don't want to be with somebody who'll say they're with me and then fuck around."
"Greg, I ...." Adam's voice was as soft as Greg's; he leaned forward again, reaching across the table to tilt Greg's face upwards so that their eyes met again. "I don't know what else to say. I don't you that well yet. Who knows what's going to happen between us?"
"I guess we should just wait and see if we still want what we think we do after we get to know each other better," Greg said, his tone subdued. He turned his face away, not wanting to meet Adam's direct gaze. "Fair enough. If we're done, I'll see you at work tomorrow."
"Wait." Adam grabbed Greg's wrist again, the intense expression back in his eyes. "Greg, don't leave. Not like this. What I meant when I said that was that there's no way to know how we'll feel about each other. I could fall head over heels in love with you. I think I'm already starting to."
"You are?" Greg blinked, looking surprised, then wary. "How can you say that if you can talk about being with me and then cheating on me if I don't want to be you submissive? Fuck, Adam, what kind of game are you playing? I'm not interested in games."
"Neither am I." Adam's voice was low and husky, his fingers keeping a tight grip on Greg's wrist. "Let's get to know each other a little better, okay? And then, if we still feel the same about each other -- and I think we will -- I can bring you into my world."
"Do you want to go home with me today?" Greg asked, his voice even and steady, even though he didn't meet Adam's gaze again. "If you do, then I'm up for that. I'm feeling like it's going to be my only chance to be with you before you decide to look around for somebody better."
"Somehow, I don't think there's anybody better in all of Las Vegas," Adam said, his voice very soft. Slowly, he raised Greg's hand to his lips, brushing his mouth across the young man's knuckles; Greg could feel an electric shock that ran all the way to the tips of his toes.
"This is all up to you, Greg," Adam told him, getting up from the table and throwing down a few bills to pay for their coffee. "Any time you want to stop it, that's going to be your call. Because --" his voice sank lower, and this time it was his turn to look away. "I don't think I can."
Greg nodded, getting up from the table and following Adam out to the parking lot. He had no idea where this was going, or if he would end up getting his heart broken yet again. But it was worth the risk -- and at the moment, he was willing to do anything if it meant more time with Adam.
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