Title: David Hodges, Matchmaker Extraordinaire
By: postnotice
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: PG-13
Warning: WIP
Summary: They were being painfully obvious and David Hodges was going to get them to admit it.

It was painfully obvious to him, so why the two of them didn't know was beyond him. On the days that Greg was positioned back in the lab for reasons not always known to him, he would be complete witness to their flirting, which didn't only stop at words. They were touchy-feely, too. Hodges found himself watching, though, tearing his mind away from his work to watch the two of them. They seemed oddly close for straight male friends (although he could only say that Nick was the one in denial), but not really that close for lovers.

It annoyed him, slightly, how they danced around each other – the literal version of that made him chuckle – day after day, night after night, completely oblivious. There were some days, the days that Nick and Greg would both walk in to the lab together, a grin on Greg's face as Nick opened doors for him, that David thought they knew. And acted on their feelings.

But then something else would throw it off, like Greg talking about the girl he went out on a date with a few days ago. He sometimes growled in frustration when he heard about such setbacks, and then had to answer to a roomful of confused and suspicious CSIs that he had just burnt the inside of his mouth on coffee, sulking back to his lab as he tried to figure out a way to get the two of them together.

He was pretty sure the entire lab thought he had a crush on Nick Stokes, due to the fact that he asked about his love life more than he should have. But the entire lab said he was either deeply involved or wasn't in a place in his life that he could date.

Nick's love life was the only real obstacle of getting the two of them together, because he knew that Greg was all talk – he had heard him telling someone on the phone (probably one of his family members) that he hadn't dated in ages, the blonde having just told the entire room that he had a hot date the night before. Hodges never even thought that Greg may be lying to his family. It seemed to be loads easier to lie to his coworkers than his family, because he had heard the story from years ago about Greg talking to Nick about liquid latex. And just a few weeks ago, Greg had brought in trace amounts on someone's clothing, and when Hodges brought it up, he raised an eyebrow and managed to say a 'huh?' Yes, David was pretty sure that Greg lied to land higher places on Nick Stokes' relationship ladder.

Then there were the days that they avoided each other like a deadly virus. These days Hodges had pegged as a something-was-said-last-night and-I-don't-really-want-to-admit-that-I-love-you "mornings after." That, or if the relationship had already began, they were mornings after of fights. Either way, it was times like these that he knew he had to step in and interfere.

His first plan was trying to get one of the men to admit to having fallen for someone in the lab. He decided that Greg would be easier, seeing as Nick never spoke about his personal life. And also, he had already tried to get it out of him.

"I'm not going to tell you about my love life, Hodges, so just let it go,"

"Come on, the statistics won't be known by anyone but me…I'm asking the entire lab," Hodges struggled to keep up with the Texan's long strides, and as he watched Nick walk through the hallways of the lab, he knew why Greg had fallen so hard.

"No chance, Hodges. I tell you anything and the next thing I know, I'll have a bunch of people I don't know talking about me," he stopped to drop something off on the DNA desk, writing a quick note of who left it and the time on a post-it. "And besides, I don't kiss and tell,"

Hodges was sent a firm glare, and he sighed in frustration as he watched Nick's retreating form. Greg would definitely be easier.

"Sanders, my favorite CSI!"

"What do you want, Hodges?" Greg asked, studying something in a microscope, looking up and wondering what had happened to Wendy, and making plans to scold her for leaving him alone in a room Hodges had easy access to.

"Can't I just say how much I appreciate what you do for this city without you asking what I want?" Hodges tried, knowing by the look that was on Greg's face he was quite transparent. "Alright, alright, I'm doing a general...survey... of who's fallen for who in the lab, and I need to start somewhere," as a last minute thought, he figured it'd be a good idea to add that he had already talked to Nick. "And Nick's not talking, so I figured you would…"

"You asked Nick?" Greg asked, raising his eyebrow as David nodded. "What'd he tell you?" there was a hint of amusement in the blonde's voice and the lab tech shook his head, hoping that he wouldn't have to relive the situation.

"Never mind what Nick said, I'm asking you,"

"Not a chance," Greg turned back to his microscope. "You want gossip-worthy stuff, you go to Jacqui or Judy, you don't come to me,"

"Come on, I'll keep your evidence at the top of the pile for a month," though Hodge's words were tempting, Greg continued to disagree. "No,"

"Two months," David pushed, looking at Greg almost desperately. He was going to get this out of him one way or another, even if he had to sell himself.

"Two months? I…No, no way,"

"A year," silence fell in the room, and Sanders seemed almost lost in thought, a faraway look in his eyes.

"A year?" he repeated, inspecting Hodges as though he was going to have 'I'm lying' written somewhere on him. Feeling uncomfortable and restless, David nodded. "Alright, but you can't tell anyone,"

"Cross my heart," he said, subconsciously leaning forward. Greg beckoned him closer, eyebrow raised, before nodding his head.

"It's you,"

Hodges stuttered out a response. "Me."

"You. Now you know why I always seem to hate you," Greg winked at him, and Hodges came to a screeching realization that he was lying.

"You're lying. Tell me the truth,"

"Already did. Now get out of my lab," Greg commanded, shooing him away with his hand. David took the hint and left, turning his head to look over his shoulder as he shouted back his response.

"If you love me so damn much, you wouldn't be telling me to leave. And it's not your lab!" upon turning his head back, he managed to run straight into Nick, who was holding two cups of coffee, somehow managing to not spill them as he held them higher, raising an eyebrow in an amused glance at David.

He heard laughter following him as he went back to his lab, thoroughly pissed off and determined to find a plan B.

***

And Plan B he did find. Flat out admittance hadn't worked, so jealousy was up next. But he knew that neither of the two of them would go for Hodges coming on to them, and he didn't want to anyway. Archie was the next best choice, and it's not like he despised him or anything…

"Archie!" he called, stopping the A/V tech dead in his tracks. Archie turned at the voice and shook his head, spinning back around to enter his corner of the lab with his hands up. "Come on, Archie, I really need your help!"

"I'm not helping the glory whore out with anything, especially if it involves someone in the lab. You're probably just sucking up to someone, which is definitely not what I want to be involved in," Archie opened a cupboard and stowed his lunch away, coat being thrown to the floor as David stood in the doorway, trying to decide if the not-really-a-couple was worth losing the little relationship points he had with the younger man.

"I'm not going to beg,"

"I'm glad. Now leave,"

"It's about Sanders and Nick," Hodges finally added in, getting the dark haired tech to raise an eyebrow at him.

"What about 'em?" Hodges fought to jump for joy; Archie had taken the bait.

"Come on, you know that they're just denying themselves a chance at a lifelong relationship," Archie rolled his eyes but nodded. "And I've already tried getting them to admit it, but it's actually harder than I thought,"

"Just get to the point, Hodges," afraid that he might bore the dark haired tech away, Hodges cut to the chase.

"I need you to hit on Sanders," There was a moment of silence before Archie broke out in laughter, pounding his fist on the desk in front of him, hyperventilating in moments.

"Oh man, Hodges, I think you just gained a point on the social scale," as he wiped his eyes, Archie booted up his computer, shaking his head. "I've been here ten minutes and you've already made my day. Go mark your calendar,"

"I'm serious. I need you to make Nick jealous. Or Sanders, if that's your thing,"

"I have a girlfriend, Hodges, or have you forgotten?" Archie had gotten past the humor and was slowly moving into pissed off territory. David had to act now, and he had to act fast.

"Come on, you want to see Greg happy, right?" the younger male couldn't disagree with that. "Then help me out. All you have to do is be really…physical. And no, I don't mean by kissing him! I just mean by touching him a lot. Getting close, compliment him a lot…"

Archie shook his head. "How long do I have to do this?"

"Until I get someone to do the same to Nick," Hodges refrained from smiling as Archie sighed.

"Alright. But as soon as someone gets to Nick, I'm done. You're lucky I have slight experience in this area," he said, standing up. "When do I start?"

"As soon as you can," Hodges said, following Archie as he walked through the doorway, pushing past the trace tech and looked around for Greg.

"Does now work? I want to get started as soon as I can so you can get to work on whoever's flirting with Nick,"

"Who's flirting with Nick?" Greg had walked up on them, catching the ending of Archie's sentence, smile on his face. "Did the man finally get his hot date?"

Archie had the decency to blush as he turned around to look at his "crush." "I, uh…damn, Greg," he blushed a little harder when the lab tech turned CSI raised an eyebrow. "I, uh…Uh…" his face reddened again as he opened his mouth, closed it, and then went back into his lab.

Greg watched him, completely clueless, before he turned to Hodges. "What'd you do to him?"

"Nothing. Seems he's got a crush on you," the blonde laughed a little loudly, getting others around the lab to stare at him. "What?"

"Archie's straight. He's been dating this girl for a couple months," Greg shook his head.

"And what about you?" Hodges was a little surprised at his forwardness, but the blonde didn't miss a beat.

"None of your business,"

"Come on, I think I have a right to know," he pushed, following Greg back into the trace lab.

"Based on what circumstances?"

"That we've been working together for four years. And I've got someone who'd love to meet you, but I want to know what you're interested in first," He left out the fact that it was Nick who he wanted Greg to "meet," thinking that if he didn't say anything, Greg would be more likely to buy it.

Greg sighed as he finished looking for whatever he was looking for. He winked at Hodges before he left. "There's nothing wrong with a little variety," and he was gone.

Damn Greg Sanders for making him think so hard.

He spent the rest of his shift checking up on Archie and trying to get Mandy to flirt with Nick – in between samples, of course. He'd never completely forget about work. On trips to he breakroom and back, he'd see Archie talking to Greg, but more often than not, Archie would leave the room, redder than the last time, and keep his head low as he quickly walked back to his lab.

With two hours before the end of his shift, Archie barged into Hodge's lab, face red yet again. "I'm done. Finished. No more. I'm sick of freaking out every time Greg walks into a room. You know I haven't even really said anything to him? I've just stuttered, because I'm too afraid of his reaction…"

Hodges stared at him, almost amused. "And you don't even have a real crush on him. You really know your stuff,"

"Yeah, well, if we weren't friends I could've had him hook, line, and sinker by now," Archie walked out of the lab, leaving Hodges with his samples, slightly amused, but still pissed off that Nick hadn't had a reaction yet, even though he and Greg had been in and out of the lab, at the same time, and Nick had definitely seen Archie and Greg.

He picked up his phone and dialed Mandy's cell number. "Hodges, what do you want?"

"I want your answer,"

"Why are you trying so hard?" was her exasperated question, and David held back a groan.

"Because I'm sick of the flirting, their stupid looks, and the way that whenever they talk about another date, the other one's got this sad look in their eyes. So are you in or not?"

"Why don't you just ask Wendy?"

"Because, Wendy doesn't have a crush on Mr. Texas!"

"And I do?" Hodges couldn't stop himself from dropping his head to the table in front of him.

"It's more likely that it's you! Now come on, please? I know it'll really bother him…"

"…This is for Greg and Nick, right?"

Finally. "Yes,"

"I'll start right now," and she was gone, leaving Hodges to speculate. He went back to his work after a quick peek in the hallway, seeing Mandy close and personal to Nick, who seemed a little confused…and was he uncomfortable?

As he sat down to do his work, he finally realized what Sanders had meant about his comment. Nothing's wrong with variety my ass! Maybe he was going at this the wrong way…

No. There was no way the two of them were together…

Was there?

***

"Mandy! Mandy, Mandy, Mandy!" Hodges rushed to catch up with the lab tech before she clocked out for shift.

"What?" she turned. "Yes, I've been flirting, what more do you want?"

"I want you to ask Nick out," Mandy sighed, looking towards the lab doors.

"So...you want me to ask a guy out, in order for him to date another guy? Tell me, what medication are you on? Anything not OTC or prescribed?" she cocked her head and gazed intently at him.

"Come on, you want to see them involved as much as I do, don't you?" as he said it, he realized that the only reason he wanted to see them "involved" was so the touches and flirting in the lab wouldn't be as frequent. That is, of course, assuming that they're not all about sex.

"What would you say if I already asked him?" she crossed her arms, not bothering to wait for a response. "He said he was already involved,"

"But...you were supposed to wait for my cue!" David complained, refraining from biting his nails in anxiousness.

"I do have a mind, Hodges. And I talked to Bobby, maybe you should ask him. Or Henry,'

"You want me to flirt with Greg? Greg Sanders?" it was the next night, and the look on Henry's face when he was asked would've sent David into fits of laughter if his plan wasn't so important to him. The thought of that made him wonder what made him think he had the time to go parading around asking for help to get two completely oblivious men to date.

"Well come on, it's not like you don't have a crush on him!" Hodges shook his head and sighed. "Just make Nick jealous,"

"Why Nick?' he glanced at the newly acclaimed crazy man before his mouth shaped into a perfect 'o.' "So, uh...Anything else you want me to do, or...?"

"I want you to ask him out at the end of next shift," Henry fumbled with the evidence in his hands.

"I'm not gay!" he exclaimed, sighing with relief when the sample was safe on the table.

"So if he says yes, go with it until the day and call in sick..."

"I'd like to stay on good terms with him, I don't want to be the Hodges of lab relationships,"

David glared for a moment. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," the younger of the two smiled and turned back to his work. Hodges grabbed his arm, determined. "Come on. You want them to be happy, right?" Henry watched as Nick and Greg walked into the lab, Greg grinning as Nick laughed, evidence in hand.

"So, who's been keeping up with Ross and Rachel?" David asked, raising his eyebrows at the couple - or soon to be couple if his plan worked. And work it would.

Henry furrowed his eyebrows. "What are you talking about? Friends has been over for years. And besides, that's not the right..." he shut up when Hodges shot him a look. It's almost as though he didn't hear a word I said earlier...

"Hodges should know, it's not like he gets many hot dates," Greg raised an eyebrow, straight faced, while the Texan stood next to him, trying not to laugh.

'I'll have you know I've been involved for a while, Sanders," Hodges replied, hoping that Greg wouldn't catch on that he was lying. It's not like he didn't have experience in telling when people were - he had heard that he was a good CSI, after all.

"Oh yeah? What's her name?" he took the bag from Nick; Hodges almost didn't notice the way he smiled when their fingers brushed, though whether it was because of the tough or picking on him for his lack of dating experience, he wasn't sure. "Well?'

"Chandra," he said, that having been the first name to come to mind...he knew he heard it somewhere...

"Wasn't that the name of that girl you, uh, brought in to replace you? Nick added, smiling when Greg nodded. "Yeah, she thought Hodges was a creep,"

"It's gotta be a different one," David grinned - why would Nick remember Greg's replacement if he wasn't attracted to him? Well, or her, but...he wasn't going to let thoughts like that into his mind. "How long?"

"Couple of months..." he tried not to glance at his real crush as she walked past the lab room they were in.

"Can you guys please talk about his somewhere else? I have work to do," Henry said, attempting to wave them away.

"Ah...I remember the first couple months of our relationship," Greg shook his head, eyes closed, which meant he didn't noticed when David's attention snapped back to the situation at hand. He glanced at Nick, who seemed normal, as though Greg wasn't talking about his lover. Maybe he was reading into this too much, maybe they weren't dating, weren't planning on it...

"Yeah? They nice?" Henry prompted - David had forgotten he was there, also forgetting he'd asked for his help with his Master Plan. He wondered if, when he wrote this all down for the book he decided to write, if he should capitalize it. Or did it seem too...Mission Impossible?

"Wonderful," Greg said, smiling more to himself than anyone in the room.

"Really? Do I smell marriage?" David asked, crossing his arms. He was going to milk this conversation -"' Ž

"So if you weren't dating someone, I'd...maybe have a chance?" the meek lab rat asked, blushing when Greg smiled, leaning on the table in front of him, winking when he was close again.

"Aw, Henry, baby, you'd be my next choice," Hodges again looked to Nick, who seemed jealous for the first time. He smiled as Nick's face got redder and redder with it as Greg and Henry continued "flirting."

"Uh, Hodges, do you have...our..." he was sidetracked as he glanced towards the blond, shaking his head when David cleared his throat. "Evidence?"

"Of course I have evidence," he replied, grinning.

***

They were definitely together, which threw Hodges off a bit. Maybe he could've gotten them to date, but to actually admit it was something completely different. He'd never have a chance now…

Well, Sara's life-threatening situation got Grissom to admit his true feelings, maybe he...? No, too dangerous, and besides, he didn't want to risk his job just to get them to say something. He spun in his chair as he thought of a plan before realizing a flaw. Greg constantly talked about the hot dates he got, but he had recently spoken of his committed relationship. And for once, Nick didn't seem sad. Was there a mutual understanding that they didn't say a word? Or had they realized that Hodges had a plan and were just doing it to screw with his head?

No, it had to be that Greg was dating, not involved - just that night he had heard that he went on another date with a hot redhead….So were the two CSI's involved, or was there some sort of strange, not-really-a-relationship going on?

He was broken from his thoughts when one of the CSI's in question entered the lab, dropping off a bag of evidence before trying to leave. David yelled out a 'hey,' before the CSI made it to the door, and he looked at him for a long moment. Maybe if he just spat it out…

"Are you dating Nick?" It didn't even throw the younger male off guard. With a raised eyebrow, he scoffed.

"Is that a rhetorical question?"

"I'm serious,"

"I'm not dating Nick." Hodges sighed, his plan completely derailed again. What the hell was with them? Now he wanted to know just to know, he could care less if they were happy!

"Then what's with the physical contact? The looks?" His anger only flared more when Greg laughed.

"Most normal people touch, Hodges, and they also look at each other. If you want a book on how regular people act, I've got one at home."

When he didn't get the answer he wanted, he pressed further. "The flirting?" He wasn't surprised when Greg continued laughing, though he was getting angrier.

"I flirt with everyone, Hodges, even with you." Greg gave a quizzical look to him before sighing. "Damn. Are we that obvious?"

David's hopes shot back up. "So you have been dating?" Greg's lips twitched, sliding back into a grin when it dawned on the lab tech. "You know; you don't have to be such an ass about it!"

"Hey, who just accused who of being gay and falling into bed with Nick Stokes?" Greg pointed out, crossing his arms as the smile twisted into a frown. "Oh, I do believe that would be you."

Hodges glared for a few moments, before he thought of another point. "The eye sex."

That did it. He smirked as Greg paled noticeably, and felt quite smug when he realized he had hit close to home with that one. "I, uh…Eye sex? I don't follow."

"Come on, you see Catherine and Warrick do it all the time. Have you not noticed when Nick's undressing you with his eyes?" He sustained his laughter as Greg seemed more worried. "No one else has noticed, in case you were worried," David lied, absolutely loving how the conversation was turning Greg into a nice, easily workable putty.

"We're not dating,"

"Oh really? Then please, explain to me why not because it's not only me who thinks that you two just need to get it over with and screw," he winced at the sound of the sentence and shook his head.

"I, uh…Haven't…ever…Told him?" Greg's sentence was hopeful, almost as though Hodges would do the dirty work for him. There was a strange twinkle in the CSI's eyes, but he decided that it was just because he was talking about Nick Stokes with Hodges rather than trying to screw him over.

"And why not?"

Greg was silent. "I…don't know." the trace technician growled with frustration, dragging the level one from the room in a fit of absolute disgust - not from the overall look of the situation, just because he had kept his mouth shut. For seven years.

He pushed open the door to an almost-empty lab room, and shoved him in. The Texan in said lab raised an eyebrow at Hodges but nodded in acknowledgement to Greg. "I'll make sure that you don't leave this room until something's discussed," he warned Greg turning on his heel and walking from the lab room, leaning against the opposite wall and watching, trying to figure out exactly what was going on between them.

There was always the possibility that they had a 'friends-with-benefits' relationship, though neither of them really wanted it - they just took it because that's all they thought they could get. David snorted - they must really be dense, because it was so damn obvious to the rest of the lab that they were in love, so why not them?

Curiosity began to eat at him, and he looked back at the lab room - empty. Either they had left in a fit of contained laughter or had found a more private place in the building.

Hodges sighed, frustration growing when he realized he was completely off break ten minutes ago…Which meant that there wasn't any time to search for them. Maybe he'd find out next shift, or the shift after that, or the shift after that. It was truly an endless cycle, and if he wasn't so curious to know what really happened, he would've just let it go.

The couple in question didn't visit him - alone or otherwise - for the rest of the night, and though it was visibly obvious he was looking for them, no one commented on it. Occasionally, he'd see one of them talking to a lab tech, laughing and gesturing to his lab…Under normal circumstances, it would've sent up a flag in his mind, but he was too busy trying to read lips to really care that they were talking about him.

Flat out admittance had failed again, though he hadn't tried getting something from Nick, though knowing the Texan, he'd probably just laugh it off or get really angry…Neither of which were reactions that David wanted.

Instead he decided he'd wait it out…For a while, at least.

***

David's last chance to really determine their relationship status was to follow them both home after work. Of course, that would mean that he needed another person to help him out. But, Archie, Mandy, and Henry had already done their part, and Jacqui said she would have nothing to do with his matchmaking ideas. His remaining choices were Judy and Bobby, and since he didn't really know Judy all that well, and, well, Bobby absolutely loathed him, he didn't really have anyone to help him out.

So instead, he knew that he had to follow one of them home one night, and the other home the next, which would completely prove his theory, maybe.

His plan was to switch cars with a friend outside of work; yes, he had friends; and to use that car to follow one home, just to see where they went. He'd then wait quietly to see if the other came soon after that. Yes, his plan was full of flaws, and just because they were hanging out didn't mean that they were dating. It could just mean that they were friends, or that they were really close.

But everything deserved a chance, right?

The plans were set. He was waiting for Greg to leave the lab, but he and Nick seemed to be stuck with a hard case, and he heard that Nick desperately needed a ride home. On top of the hard case, his car didn't start on his dinner break, and he found that it still wouldn't start now

Greg had noticed Hodges outside the break room and called him in. "You don't have anything to do, do you?"

"Contrary to popular belief, Sanders, I do occasionally go out," Hodges shot back, suddenly wondering what the hell made him try to get these two together. His best guess was that he thought that maybe, after they started dating, that they'd thank him for shoving them together and he wouldn't be treated so badly.

"Great! Nick's car won't start and he needs someone to bring him home." David eyed him curiously. Greg would normally jump at an opportunity like this.

"Why won't you do it?" He noticed that Nick was scratching the back of his neck, no doubt out of nervousness.

"I've got to pick up one of my cousins at the airport. They're going to a college here in Vegas and they need me to show them around before they come out here for good." Greg took a drink from the coffee he was holding and looked at the lab tech expectantly. "Well?"

"Are they afraid of strangers?" The level one shook his head, confused. "Well then take Nick along. It's not like he can't get along with anyone."

"Au contraire, Hodges, I've never gotten along with you," Nick threw in, Greg snickering under his breath. Hodges huffed and left the break room, hearing Greg reply with; "It's alright with me if it's alright with you. You're welcome to…"

Welcome to what, he never found out because he was too busy fuming to really care. Even when they didn't know what he was up to – for CSIs, they were pretty thick – they still managed to ruin his plans.

"Archie tells me you're trying to get Nick and Greg together." he recognized the accent at once, surprised to see that Bobby Dawson was standing in the doorway of his lab. "Yeah, I'm talking to you, but only because I agree with you that they need to suck up their pride and shack up. But don't go parading around telling people we're best friends, or I'll call the entire thing off." Hodges could only gape at him,

"Wh-What?"

"I'm willing to double date with them, if you get them to go on a blind date," he replied, clearing up the fog in David's head. "But as soon as this is all over, we go back to not talking, okay? Just because I'm doing this doesn't mean that I've forgiven you for being an ass," he turned to leave, but stopped. "So you know…I think this thing you're doing for them is great." There was a twinkle in his eyes, like he knew something that Hodges didn't, and he sighed out of frustration. This was the hardest thing he had ever taken on, even including the animated model of the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs. Hey, he was entitled to an opinion, too.

He set back to work, glad that Nick and Greg still hadn't finished their case from the other day and that they'd be in tonight for results on the evidence.

Three hours later, and well into his shift, the two CSIs entered his lab, looking completely worn out. "What's up with you two, you both look like hell."

"Always nice to hear a compliment from Hodges." Greg studied him. "You really are a lab rat, you know that?"

"Do you have our evidence?" Hodges nodded, continuing to look at them while they read through the papers.

"Bobby Dawson wanted to know if you wanted to triple date with him…He's got wonderful people lined up for the both of you, and from what I've heard, definitely your type." He watched as Greg shrugged.

"Yeah, alright. Can't hurt, I guess." There was a certain angry fire in Nick's eyes and he made note to never screw him over or piss him off after this. "Sure. Tell Bobby to contact me with the date and time, and I'll be there." Hodges looked to Nick.

"Sure, yeah. It can't hurt, I guess." He smiled and nodded.

"Great. I'll make sure Bobby gets it to you before end of shift."

Greg was already gone and Nick was just leaving before the blonde came back and asked, "Since when does Bobby Dawson like you?"

Hodges just shot him a look and shooed them out of his lab. The things he has to put up with just to see those two together.

This was it - the night to confirm all of his suspicions, the night that would finally get the two CSIs together. And David Hodges couldn't be happier. He had just given Bobby his cell phone number so he could report to Mr. Matchmaker and tell him everything that had gone on. Excitement coursed through him, and the entire lab noticed.

"You're awfully happy tonight, Hodges," Catherine said as she came in for results, Sara not far behind her. "Any reason?"

"I'm finally finding out the answer to something I've waited years to figure out."

"Basic math really isn't that hard, Hodges," Sara piped in, crossing her arms. "Results?" He smiled and happily handed them to her. "You know, you're kind of creepy when you're happy. You should go back to being an ass."

Hodges rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. I promise this'll be over soon and I'll go back to being everyone's favorite ass of a lab tech."

"That's the spirit." Catherine winked as she took the results from Sara, ignoring the angry look on the younger woman's face. "Thanks, Hodges."

The rest of the night dragged on, and when Bobby still hadn't managed to call him, he assumed the worst. What could've possibly happened? When he took his break, the first thing he did was check his phone, complete with dead battery. And his charger was at home. David cringed and sighed to himself, completely pissed off. He could've sworn that he had charged it, twice, even, just to make sure that tonight he would be reachable, no matter what.

And of course, it didn't work out for him. Again.

He dragged himself home after shift, plugging his phone into his wall charger and waited for it to say something, anything, about the double date. No alerts popped up onto his screen, and he shut it back down, turning it back on after a moment to check again. Still nothing. A few more tries and no prize, he turned the ringing tone to the highest and got ready for bed.

He was halfway through his routine before he remembered that Bobby also had his home phone. He rushed to the living room to check, excited when he saw the light blinking. The first three were old ones from his mother that he hadn't yet erased – then came the new ones.

"This call is to inform David Hodges he has an appointment tomorrow morning at 7:00 AM for a cleaning at-," dentist. Next.

"Davey, this is your mother…" How many times had he told her to not call him Davey? Next.

"Hodges, I must congratulate you on your wonderful investigation skills!" He raised an eyebrow to his fish, who merely let out a few bubbles as a response. "It's a shame that you were heading in the wrong direction." Whoever was talking was obviously drunk, and spoke with a painfully fake Irish accent, obviously trying to cover up their real identity. He growled when the answering machine told him that they had called hours ago, and by now they all had probably all gone home and slept, either laughing it off or spending the night together, or both.

Being that he really couldn't call the person back, David sighed as he continued getting ready for bed. Tomorrow, that's when everything would be figured out. He'd been saying tomorrow for how long, and he just wanted it to all be over. There wasn't much more he could do; he had ran out of ideas, and his fellow lab techs wouldn't be willing to help him anymore. The only other thing would be the CSIs, but they're always out on the field, solving crime after crime, and there was no way that he was going to ask one of them for their help, especially not when they'd probably kick his ass, or get someone to kick his ass, just for even thinking it.

Tomorrow truly was his last chance. It's a shame he just didn't know how to make it work.

***

Was it wrong that he was angry? Of course not. He had a plan. Bobby had agreed to let him know, and he never heard from him. Just because he was everyone's least favorite lab tech didn't mean that he deserved to be left in the dark.

Bobby hadn't avoided him, but when Hodges had tried to catch him, he kept being interrupted. He was extremely swamped, but the trace tech still thought that he could've taken a quick minute or two to tell him how things went.

"Hodges!" He turned to see Grissom coming towards him, looking extremely unhappy. He turned to leave, to pretend that he didn't see him, but Catherine stood in front of him, arms crossed. David braced himself and turned to face them both.

"You called?"

"Henry, Mandy, and Archie are all backlogged. Any idea why?"

"No boss,"

"Huh, funny, they said that it had something to do with you," Catherine added, shifting her weight to her other foot.

"What have you been doing to them?" Grissom asked, and Hodges stuttered over a few words before the nightshift supervisor shook his head. "You know what? I don't care. Just don't do it again."

"I won't, I promise," he replied to his retreating form, shaking under Catherine's firm gaze. Eventually, she left as well, and Hodges sunk against the wall, defeated. Maybe this entire thing was too much. Maybe he should just let it go. It wasn't worth his job, right? Of course not.

David made his way back to his lab, catching a group of people laughing as he passed the break room. Peeking in, he saw Nick, Greg, Warrick, Henry, Bobby, Mandy, and Archie in fits of giggling, not even bothering to hold back when Hodges came into the room. "Something funny?"

Greg finally sobered enough to nod. "Yeah, you getting confronted by Grissom and Catherine."

Hodges froze. Did he know? And if Greg knew, how had he figured out? Well, it may have been David's talking to Bobby that threw him off. He never talked to Bobby. He recovered as he cleared his throat, turning to grab coffee. "You…heard that, huh?"

The room erupted in more laughter, and the trace tech could feel his face burn. "Are you kidding? Of course we did!" He glared at Archie, who only shrugged as he laughed. Grissom stuck his head in the break room, raising an eyebrow.

"Aren't you all on shift? I don't pay you to sit around." Nick pushed himself off the counter and walked out of the room, Greg in tow. The lab techs left after, Hodges watching them with interest. What the hell just happened?

He was working for a good while before a paper airplane hit him in the head. Hodges looked around before picking it up and opening it. Guess what? You were right! You'd make a damn good CSI, you know that? He sighed and tossed it on the floor. Right about what? Which of his theories was the correct one? He only had like, twelve. Was that the glory of telling him like this? And who sent it anyway? He could fingerprint it, but being that they worked in a crime lab, he doubted that they would've left prints. Unless that was a part of their plan, whoever 'they' were.

David sighed as he went back to work, deciding he'd finish his Master Plan later, when he wasn't getting severely backlogged.

A few hours later he was hit in the head with another airplane, with writing so messy he could hardly interpret it. We'll tell you soon enough, we promise! He mentally threw a fit; he didn't want to give whoever was throwing these at him the satisfaction of his flipping out. But honestly! If he didn't find out soon, he may have to go crazy. It wasn't that he had stopped caring, not that he had lost interest, he was just sick of being made a fool out of.

He grumbled through the rest of his shift, deciding that he'd ignore the rest of the paper airplanes if they ever came.

By the time his shift ended, Hodges felt like he'd failed. Nick and Greg only asked him questions relating to their evidence, which was not what he wanted. When asked questions, they'd reply with "I'm busy, Hodges" and leave the room.

He was on his way out of the lab when Bobby caught him. "Hodges!" He turned back to the building, seeing his fellow lab tech holding a large envelope. He motioned him back, holding the packet out to him. "Everything you need to know about the date. And if you don't get your answer from this, I don't think you should be bothering."

David stared at the packet. Finally. Finally, finally, finally. He'd get his answers. Well, assuming that Bobby wasn't going to completely screw him over. When he looked up to thank him, the lab tech was already gone.

He rushed home, ripping open the envelope the second he locked his door behind him. He flipped his laptop open, sticking the flash drive into the USB port as soon as it turned on. He dumped the remaining contents out onto the desk, not even giving thinking about why there was so much work put into such an unimportant – ha! - thing, gaping at the blackmail-worthy info he'd be given. The computer recognized the flash drive, installing software and opening the folder for contents.

He hesitated, the cursor positioned on the icon that read video. Did he really want to do this? Well, of course he did, but maybe they were only out to a few people. Maybe he'd be made a complete fool of. Maybe this entire thing was a scam, and really, they were just doing it to screw with him. It wasn't all that foreign for the CSIs to do something like that.

He decided to wait on the video, turning to the scattered notes and photos instead. He recognized the scribbling as Henry's, and wondered why he had gone along; probably to help get information without being all that obvious.

David peeked at the photos. There weren't too many of them that he could use as real "evidence" that they were together – they were all just in the moment – laughing, drinking; the usual. He assumed that Henry hadn't been able to get any really good ones. He offhandedly wondered if the video contained their initial reactions to going on a date with another male.

Turning back to the laptop, he clicked the icon before he could think, watching intently. He was determined to get his answer, and through the video he'd have his chance.

***