Title: More Than A Heart Can Hold
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Nick Stokes
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Rating: PG-13
Table: 5_prompts
Prompt: 1, Someone once said
Series: 1) The Word Is Out, 2) In the Light of Day, 3) Property, 4) Flames of Hell, 5) Bottles and Broomsticks, 6) At the Killing Edge, 7) Into Your Arms, 8) Uncharted Territory, 9) Out of the Woods, 10) Kiss Your Tears Away, 11) Security Blanket, 12) Help Is on the Way, 13) Walls Break Down, 14) Made of Glass
Author's Note: Mentions of rape/torture.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Nick Stokes, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Somehow, he'd thought that it would be harder to take care of Greg before he'd actually done it, Nick thought as he wrapped a towel around the young man's waist and then bent to slide his arm behind Greg's knees. He was finding that he actually liked being a caretaker.

Of course, Greg wasn't going to be in this state forever, he cautioned himself. But at the moment, he needed someone to help him do little things that the burns across his back and shoulders kept him from doing. And he definitely didn't mind helping.

He'd enjoyed washing Greg's hair and bathing him more than he could say. Though he knew that he wasn't going to enjoy changing the dressings on those burns as much. He already knew that it was painful for Greg, and he hated being the instigator of that pain.

But it wasn't something that could be avoided; the more he changed the dressings, the sooner the burns would heal. Though in a way, Nick was grateful for them; those burns had brought him and Greg closer together, let them bond in a way that might not have happened otherwise.

"You don't have to carry me," Greg protested even as Nick headed out of the bathroom and down the hall to the bedroom that they shared. "I can walk fine by myself, Nicky. You're spoiling me. I know I'm kind of an invalid right now, but I'm not a baby."

"But I like spoiling you," Nick murmured, entering the bedroom and depositing Greg on their bed. "You deserve to be taken care of, beautiful. And as long as you're here, I'm going to do just that. Especially since there are some things you need me to do for you, anyway."

Greg nodded, looking down at his hands clenched in his lap rather than up at Nick. The older man felt badly for what he was going to do; he knew that having the burns treated hurt Greg, but they didn't have a choice, not if he wanted them to heal properly.

Bringing the bandages and ointment over to the bedside table, Nick sat down behind Greg, starting to take away the bandages that were already there. Greg's back looked better than it had during his time in the hospital; Nick was sure that the burns wouldn't leave ugly scars.

Slowly, carefully, he began rubbing the healing ointment into Greg's skin, feeling the young man's muscles tighten under his fingers. He tried to be as careful as he could, but he could feel Greg wince away from each touch, hear him catch his breath.

After a few moments, and before Nick had even worked halfway across his back, Greg was crying, unable to keep the tears back. Nick wanted to take him into his arms and comfort him, but he also wanted to get this over and done with as quickly as he could.

But he didn't dare move too quickly; that would more than likely make him get careless, and press too hard against Greg's healing back. The last thing he wanted to do was to cause Greg more pain than he had to; causing any at all was bad enough.

After what seemed like hours, but what a glance at the clock told him had only been a little more than ten minutes, he was dressing the burns with clean white bandages, hoping that the pain was lessening. All he wanted to do was hold Greg, whisper soft words into his ear to comfort him.

"Baby, I'm sorry .... I'm so, so sorry," he whispered as he slid his arms around Greg's slender waist, being careful not to touch the burns or put any pressure on them. "I'd give anything in the world for none of this to have happened to you. You don't deserve all this pain."

"I'm the one who should be sorry," Greg replied, his voice hoarse and thick with tears, raising a hand to wipe ineffectually at the wetness on his cheeks. "I shouldn't be crying like a baby. I ought to be used to it hurting by now, shouldn't I? It's embarrassing that I cry so easily."

"That's not crying easily, sweetheart," Nick told him, shaking his head. "Anybody would cry from dealing with the kind of pain you've had to go through. I don't mind holding you when you need to cry, y'know. And I don't think any less of you for letting your feelings out that way."

"I think less of myself," Greg whispered, turning slightly in Nick's embrace to look up at him. Nick's heart went out to the young man in his arms; Greg's dark eyes were filled with a pain that he couldn't even begin to imagine, his face tear-streaked, his lips trembling.

"Oh, baby," Nick whispered, pulling Greg close against him and burying his face against the young man's hair. He couldn't say anything for a few moments; he was too choked up, too heartbroken at the idea that Greg could think so little of his own worth.

They sat like that for what felt like a long time, with Greg curled into Nick's embrace. Finally, Nick raised his head, stroking a hand down Greg's bare back. "You know, someone once said something that I really believe is true," he murmured, hoping that Greg would listen to him.

"What's that?" Greg asked, sniffling as he wiped at his tears. He leaned over, reaching for the box of tissues on the table by the bed and regarding Nick curiously. "I'm guessing it relates to me in some way, or you wouldn't be bringing it up."

"They said that you're never given more than you can handle," Nick said softly, brushing Greg's hair back from his face and gazing into his eyes. "So this just proves how strong you are, Greg. You shouldn't think less of yourself for living through this. You should be proud."

"Proud of being a scarred freak?" Greg asked, his tone bitter. "If those burns leave scars -- and the doctors told me that they probably will -- they'll never go away. Surgery can get rid of them, but there's a good chance it might leave even more scars."

"Listen to me, Greg." Nick took the younger man's face between his hands, forcing Greg to look directly at him, his gaze locked with Greg's. "I don't care if you have a few scars. You're the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on, and I'll always love you. Nothing will ever change that."

"I know that," Greg said, his voice trembling. "But I c-can't help looking in the mirror and seeing myself as .... as less than I was, Nicky. I know you don't think any less of me, and that you love me just as much, but I can't help thinking less of myself and who I am."

"It's not just because of the burns, is it?" Nick asked, his tone quiet. "It's because of what Shane did to you. He made you feel like you're tainted, I know -- but you're not, Greg. That's just what he wants you to believe. He wants to tear you down to his level."

Greg looked down, away from Nick's gaze, finally nodding after a few long moments had gone by. "Yeah, it's because of him," he said hoarsely, obviously on the verge of tears again. "I can't get what he said to me out of my head. Or .... or what he .... d-did."

"Try to forget about him, baby." Nick wished that he could simply wave a magic wand and everything to do with Shane would be gone from Greg's mind, though he knew that wasn't possible. "You've got more than a heart can hold right here in front of you. He doesn't matter any more."

Greg nodded, looking up at Nick and trying to smile. "I know I should forget him -- but that's easier said than done. It's going to take a while, Nicky. I hope you can be patient with me -- and that I'm going to be worth all the waiting you've had to do."

Nick laughed softly, reaching out to stroke Greg's cheek. "Baby, you'll be worth any wait to me," he said, his tone gentle and loving. "I want to have you here with me, Greg. I want to touch you and hold you and love you and take care of you. And I don't mind the waiting."

"Sometimes I wonder if I'm being pushed to my limits because I'm being given some kind of test," Greg mused, sighing and shaking his head. "But I don't know why I would be. Unless I've got pass a lot of tests to be with the person I love. In that case, bring 'em on."

"You don't have to pass any tests to be with me, sweetheart," Nick told him, wrapping an arm around Greg's slim waist. "All you have to do is be yourself. I don't care if you have a few scars. I don't care if you're not perfect. Because you're perfect for me."

"I'll never be perfect," Greg murmured, resting his head against Nick's shoulder. "But I'll try to be the best I can for you, Nicky. You deserve a lot better than me, but if I'm what you want, then you'll have to put up with a lot. I hope you're ready to do that."

"Anything for you, baby," Nick replied, tilting Greg's face upward again and bowing his head. When their lips met, his pulse raced, the blood rushed through his veins, and he could feel his heart expand to encircle Greg and wrap all the love in the world around him.

***

Next story in series - Stop the World.