Title: Never Goodbye
Author: High_Striker
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Nick & Warrick (Stud Muffin Lovin')
Summary: Things change, but it doesn't mean you have to give up everything when it happens.
Warnings: Spoilers about Warrick's presence on the show.

It was too surreal.

In so many ways it had been a long time coming.  But, then again, he couldn't really believe that he'd finally managed to build up enough courage to go through with it.

Life was too short.  That could've been his motto, it was something he'd always lived by since his parents had died.  In the past few years he'd made a lot of mistakes, some far worse than others, but that didn't change anything.

 He'd left his motto, and everything else in the dust, and it had come back to bite him in the ass.

 Which was how he found himself sitting alone in the locker room, his final shift over, and he couldn't quite make himself finish the job he'd started.  It was simply too surreal to be staring into his half emptied locker.  In ways it felt like it was the only real presence he had in the building.  That was it was gone all memory of him around the lab would be wiped out permanently.

He told himself that he was being foolish, but a quick glance a few lockers down and he wasn't so sure.  No one had really talked about Sara, and while he was sure no one had really forgotten her, she was gone.  She had absolutely no presence in the lab anymore, and it felt almost as if she'd never really been there at all.  He was sure Greg missed her, but he had no idea what Catherine, or even Nick thought about it.  And he wasn't too sure about the lab techs either.  

In all honesty, the thought that even after all of his time spent working for the Crime Lab would all be forgotten was almost enough to make him stay.  He didn't feel like he'd left any sort of impression, or really anything to be missed.  The mere thought saddened him, and he had to bite down on his lip to keep himself in check.

But from his point of view it was the sad truth.  Grissom had told him as much years ago, when they had spoke about the possibility of the man retiring.  Although Warrick had always silently disagreed, because he was sure that the lab would miss Grissom when he was gone.  The man was their leader; he was the one they went to for answers when they were stuck.  And he was sure the lab would miss Catherine and especially Nick when it came their turn to finally leave the job and the lab behind.  

At the same time he couldn't really say that he deserved to be remembered.  And he wasn't even sure he wanted to be remembered by anyone.  His record was hardly something he was proud of.

He shook his head slowly, because, in the end, his reputation didn't really matter anyway.  It wasn't like many people would remember that either.  People came and went, not much stayed behind unless you made some sort of unusual impact on the others around the lab, and as far as he could figure, he hadn't left much but a few ripples in a pond that'd vanish rather quickly.  

With a quiet sigh he stood up and grabbed a few more things from his locker before ditching them unceremoniously into the box he'd brought with him just for this purpose.  Most of it was little more than junk that he could barely remember shoving into his locker.

It felt almost liberating as he came closer to having the locker cleared out.  Almost like he was finally moving on to a point in his life where he'd have some sort of chance being happy.  It felt like a foreign concept to him anymore, and that terrified him.  So much had happened in the past few years, and he still couldn't make sense of most of it.  

Once his locker was finally emptied completely he settled back down on the bench, staring almost blankly at the now empty space in front of him.  He was starting a new phase in his life, though he wasn't really sure what he'd do.  All he knew was that it wouldn't involve dead bodies, nor would it involve the scum of the earth that had nearly brought him to his knees no thanks to Lou Gedda.

His eyes inadvertently turned just enough to latch onto Nick's locker, and that sent a shudder straight through him.  It was easy to say good riddance to the shit he saw each and every day, but there was no way he could say the same about his colleagues.  He owed them so much more than he'd ever be able to give them.  

It'd be hard to say goodbye, and he'd known that.  That was why he'd chickened out, and hadn't said anything to anyone beyond Grissom.  It would be a long time before he'd feel used to not seeing Catherine each night, it'd be just as long to get used to no longer seeing Grissom.  But there wasn't a doubt in his mind that he'd never get used to not seeing Nick every night.

The man had gone to extreme lengths for him, and it was still so mixed up in his mind, that all he really knew was that Nick had gone an extra ten miles for him.  He had ignored direct orders from Grissom, from pretty much every higher up, but putting himself right next to Warrick on the cutting block had resulted in the man finding a solid piece of evidence that had resulted in clearing Warrick, and giving him the chance to be reinstated.  A chance he had decided he wasn't going to take.  

Quickly shaking his head he tried to stop thinking about Nick.  If he kept at it he'd be near tears, and ready to beg for his job back.  Except that, the more he tried, the harder it was to stop thinking about his best friend.  The man had really taken to shoving things in his face, and while it angered him, he knew it worked.  He hadn't touched any pills since Nick had dumped his one bottle out into the trash can in the layout room.  That and he was lucky that he was too proud to go digging through a garbage bin to find them again.

But this had shaken him.  He had practically ignored and neglected Nick to the point where he had almost stopped considering the man as his best friend.  There wasn't much doubt in his mind as to why he'd done it, because he knew himself too well to ignore it.  It wasn't hard to recognize the fact that if he'd lost Nicky as a friend, then he'd lost everything.

Only, Nick had constantly proved him wrong, again and again.  Warrick still couldn't believe that the man had gone to such lengths to help him.  The isolation Warrick had created for himself had caused Grissom and Greg to believe he was capable of such detestable actions, and had put Catherine on the fence where she hadn't known what to believe.  Nick hadn't even come close to crossing that fence, to the point where he'd risked his own job, and probably even more than that.  It was impossible to ignore, and just like it always did when Nick did something like this, old repressed feelings started to break their way to the surface.  

"Well, I take it the rumor's true."

The voice snapped Warrick out of his daze fast enough that he couldn't help but wince when he heard Nick's voice.  There were rarely times when Nick's heart wasn't pinned right to his sleeve, and he could just hear the betrayal Nick felt through the man's voice.  

"I'm sorry Nick.  I kept trying to tell you, but..."  

"But it would've been too hard."

"Yeah..." Warrick felt the stabbing pain of his own words, and couldn't keep himself from cringing when Nick's shoulders slumped as he moved towards his locker.  He almost wished that the words had been less understanding, that there had been an accusation in them, but there simply wasn't.  Not knowing what else he could possibly say Warrick opted for the awkward silence that fell between them.  

"What are you going to do now?"

The roughness in Nick's tone made it clear that he was fighting back a major onslaught of emotions.  "I don't know."  His answer sounded pathetic to his own ears, and he let the rest slip out before he could chicken out, "I was thinking of getting into music..."  

"They won't even know what hit em if you do."

That managed to bring a small smile to his face, even through the guilt that was threatening to bring him down.  "Thanks... I... I appreciate that."  

Nick didn't reply for a moment, and Warrick watched silently as Nick grabbed his towel.  "Then I guess this is goodbye..."

"Nick..." he didn't get the chance to say anything else, in part because he couldn't think of anything, and because Nick was already heading for the showers.  He shrunk down against the hard metal of the lockers until he was finally sitting on the floor.  There may as well have a big gaping hole where his heart should have been.  At least it felt like it had been torn out watching Nick walk away.  He'd seen the man go through so many lows, but this was different.  He hadn't been the friend he should have been, but in the end he'd often gotten it right and helped Nick through those lows.

 "We'll miss you, ya know..."

He jumped at the sound of Catherine's voice, and he could only pray that this wouldn't end so badly as it had with Nick.  "Catherine..."  

"You don't have to say anything Warrick.  I get it- I really do.  You're doing what you need to do, and while it sucks for us, it's a part of life."

"I should have told you guys..." he would've added sooner, but that just wouldn't have been true.  He hadn't honestly planned on telling them anything.  

"Yeah, you should have.  But we can't change that.  Just... don't be a stranger, all right?  Just because you're quitting the job doesn't mean that you have to give us up too.  It doesn't mean you have to give him up either...  He'd... he'd give up everything for you."

She was gone by the time Warrick looked back up, and he replayed the words over in his mind. It took awhile for him to move again, and while his first step towards the showers was hesitant, he didn't waste much more time making up his mind.  

For once in his life he was finally going to do the right thing.  There was only one thing that Warrick could possibly ask for, and it was something he knew Nick hadn't wanted to give up to him for years.  He was just hoping he'd be able to accept it, and if he did there'd be no chance that he'd let it break.

With a level of determination he couldn't quite grasp, he didn't falter once as he headed towards the one stall with a closed curtain.  The shower spray was too weak to drown out the sound of Nick's sobs.  And wishing silently that he was doing the right thing his hand pulled at the thin curtain.  

Not even a second later and his body was pressed against Nick's, his arms wrapped tightly around the wet skin, still slick with soap.  It wasn't long before his clothes were sopping wet, but he couldn't have cared less, because his lips were locked with Nick's and he'd never felt more alive in his entire life than he did right then.

Both were breathing heavily when their lips finally parted, but neither one could bring themselves to step away from the other.  

The shiver Warrick felt course through Nick's body snapped his attention back to the two of them, allowing his mind to process more than just the kiss they'd just shared under the hot spray of the shower.  And then Nick was kissing him again, their arms pulling each other closer, even though there wasn't the slightest bit of air between them.

It took every ounce of strength he had left to pull away from the kiss, but it wasn't nearly enough strength to make him step back.  "God Nicky... I... this doesn't have to be goodbye..."  

Nick buried his face into Warrick's shoulder, and even through the wet fabric of his shirt, he could feel Nick's tears, just like he could feel the tremors running through Nick's entire body.

"You're everything to me Nicky, and I know how much you'd do for me.  I just want you... your heart, your soul, everything."  

"It's already yours, Rick... I've always been yours."

All Warrick could do after hearing those words was to pull Nick even closer, holding him so tight to his own body that he could feel the slightest muscle move in Nick's body.  It wasn't long before he nuzzled into the crook of Nick's shoulder.  The warm moist skin against the rough stubble on his chin felt unlike anything he could remember, and in all the best ways possible.  He furrowed his face a little further against Nick, letting his lips come to rest against the side of Nick's neck.  

They didn't rest there for long, and Warrick couldn't help but let his lips travel along the smooth skin.  He could faintly taste Nick's soap, but it was nothing against the mere taste of Nick's skin.  That and feeling the way Nick's muscles moved beneath his skin against his lips had him going right into overdrive.

Warrick groaned in protest when Nick forced his body back a short distance, though his protests faded the second he felt Nick's fingers working furiously on the buttons of his shirt.  Moments later and the soaked shirt was little more than a heap of fabric on the floor around their feet.  It was pure torture for Warrick to feel Nick's hands undoing his belt, feeling those fingers brushing against his already straining erection.  Getting his soaked jeans down took more effort, but it wasn't too long before Nick had them down around Warrick's knees.  Neither one could bring themselves to pull back long enough to get his pants the rest of the way off.  

And then their lips were crashing against each other, both seeking more, both wishing they could be even closer.  Until Nick finally pulled back, and suddenly Warrick could feel his breath hitch in his throat when he watched Nick drop to his knees in front of him.  Then his boxers were gone and all he could feel was the hot spray of the shower against his skin, and the feel of Nick's mouth around his cock.

All he could manage to do was brace himself against the tiled wall, one hand braced beneath the shower head, and the other clinging desperately to the shower curtain while he watched Nick's every movement.  

The loss of heat nearly made Warrick cry out in frustration, and it was all he could do to remind himself that they were still at the lab.  Although if anyone heard them he figured he'd at least be leaving with a much better reputation.  His frustration didn't last long, and he felt extremely grateful that he'd been dumb enough to keep his wallet in his pocket.  Because while everything in his wallet was soaked, it meant that Nick had found the condom he kept tucked away in that wallet, and that was about all his mind could comprehend before it went into overdrive.

The next thing he knew Nick's lips were back on his, and his fingers were teasing a certain tight hole.  When he finally pushed one finger into Nick's tight heat the man arched forward, forcing their erections together as their tongues continued clashing.  He couldn't bring himself to take as much time as he'd like preparing Nicky, but he couldn't help but insert a second finger rather soon.  He'd dreamt about this moment for so long, imagined he was with Nick and not any of the people he had actually with.  And so far, it was so much better, because this actually was Nick, and he'd never experienced this sort of physical intimacy when love entered the equation.  

Just as he moved to insert another finger he felt Nick's body suddenly move forward, and then those legs were wrapping around his waist, and there was no doubt in Warrick's mind that Nick needed this just as much as he did.  He didn't waste any time freeing his fingers and lining himself up as Nick quickly secured the condom on Warrick's erection and then wrapped both arms around Warrick's neck.

And then Warrick thrust upwards, finally pushing his aching cock into Nick's ass just as Nick let his weight pull him down.  Neither moved for some time, letting both adjust, because if they started too soon they'd both be finished before it ever really began.  

Warrick lost patience first, and it wasn't long before he was thrusting up, using his legs to support both of them as Nick used what little leverage he had around Warrick's neck and his weight to lift and drop himself in rhythm to every thrust Warrick gave.

It wasn't long before Warrick picked up the pace, thrusting his body up and into Nick as hard and fast as he could make himself go.  Then Nick leaned forward even more, trapping his cock between their chests, and changing the angle of Warrick's thrusts so that he could thrust even deeper into Nick.  After that they didn't last much longer, and he felt Nick's entire body tense just as his own legs tightened to brace them both so they didn't topple over.

 Then Nick's legs and arms tightened even more, and a second later he climaxed, his semen splattering both their chests.  And even more noticeably to Warrick, Nick's thighs tightened causing his ass to clench, and subsequently sent Warrick right over the edge.  He thrust one more time before he came, his cum spilling into the condom.

And then his legs gave out, and thankfully Nick managed to recuperate long enough to ease their descent to the tile floor.  Moments later and they were little more than a boneless heap as they held each other in their arms, with their legs tangled together.  

Neither one moved.  Both were stunned by what had happened between them, stunned that the one thing they'd always wanted was finally theirs.  There was still so much to think about, all types of questions and problems, but at the moment Warrick couldn't make himself care.  A lot of things in his life were changing rapidly, but feeling Nick's warm body in his arms, feeling the hot water of the shower still running down on them, the smell of Nick's hair and his shampoo, and the heat of Nick's breath against his chest, made it all seem so different.  He didn't feel so terrified of saying goodbye to the lab.

The way he saw it, he'd never been afraid to leave the lab behind.  While they might not leave lasting imprints on the lab, they left them with each other.  What had happened between them was all the evidence he need to see the imprint they had left on each other.  And what Nick had offered him only minutes before had shown him what he was truly afraid of leaving behind and losing.  The one thing he'd never be able to give up.  

Warrick smiled when he felt Nick's face bury deeper into his chest.  He took a deep breath before gently kissing the top of Nick's head, ignoring the taste of Nick's shampoo.  It didn't really matter what changed anymore, because the only way his love for the man in his arms would ever change would be if he ever learned how to love Nick even more than he already did.  The rest could sort it all out on its own, because all he could give a damn about was lying right in his arms already.

The End...  

A/N: This is my take on Warrick's exit from the show.  And this fic ended up becoming a combination of several fics I'd been trying to write, and finally I took parts from all of them and combined them into this.  Took their position from one story, the showers from another, etc.  Hope you all enjoyed it.