Title: O is for Open
Author: stellaluna_
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Mac/Hawkes
Summary: Written for scifirogue_kane.
Disclaimer: None of these are mine. Characters are the property of Anthony Zuiker, Jerry Bruckheimer Television, CBS, and Alliance Atlantis.


"Open your eyes," Hawkes says. "Open your eyes and look at me."

Mac does, and they stare at each other. Mac's eyes are wide, gone dark, just this side of panic. It makes Hawkes think of the fight-or-flight response. He doesn't say that, though. He reaches out and puts a hand on Mac's face and begins to stroke his cheek slowly. Mac tenses but doesn't pull away, and keeps his gaze fixed on Hawkes' face as he moves in closer, as the touch gets slower and deeper until finally he's cupping Mac's face in the palm of his hand. The skin is warm and a little rough beneath his touch.

"Not bad," Hawkes says softly.

"No." Mac reaches out and touches him, rubs his thumb against the hollow of Hawkes' throat, just above the open collar of his shirt. Hawkes steels himself not to make a sound, not to push toward him. Not to grab Mac the way he wants to, to take him in his arms and throw him down on the couch on the floor and show him everything he's been wanting to do all these months. All these years.

"Not bad at all," Mac says in a quiet voice, and Hawkes thinks there may be a little less fear in his eyes now. Just a little.

"You want this?" Hawkes asks. He has to know. Has to hear Mac say it, and they need to be looking at each other while they have this conversation.

"I -- " Mac's gaze starts to wander; for just a moment he drops his eyes to the floor, but before Hawkes can start to panic himself, Mac looks back up at him, and he still looks scared, but there's determination there now, too. "Yes," he says. "Yes, I do."

"Good," Hawkes says. He smiles, and once he sees that Mac is smiling back a little bit, he leans in and kisses him, finally, finally. Mac's mouth yields under his and Hawkes closes his eyes. Just for now, he thinks: just for this first kiss.

Later he's going to want to watch Mac again, and he's going to want Mac to see him, too. Later they'll do it with their eyes open. For now, Hawkes closes his eyes and concentrates on the unexpected softness of the kiss, on all of it.