Title: One More Turn…
Author: Dee
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1418
Pairing: Gil/Nick
Characters: Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes
Warnings: AU and v.fluffy!
Spoilers: S.9. Turn, Turn, Turn.
Disclaimer: In my dreams they are like, totally mine!
Beta: My everlasting thanks to podga
A/N 1: I’ve been thinking about writing this for over a year! The epi was repeated on telly over here the other week so I finally got around to writing it…

Nick turned his truck into their driveway.  When he’d stopped, he took a few deep breaths and then looked in his rear view mirror.

 

It didn’t matter that he’d rinsed his face in cold water, back at the lab, or wet a towel and held it over his eyes; Gil wouldn’t miss the evidence.

 

It wasn't as if Gil wasn’t used to Nick’s tears, God knows he teared up and cried at anything.  He always had and he always would.  But shit, even though it might have been endearing when he was kid, it was just plain embarrassing now he was getting on for forty.  Thirty-eight years and one day old.

 

Mostly, he’d been able to control it at work, but Haley’s death had just been so pointless.  So futile.  So fucking futile.   And goddamit if he wasn’t tearing up again as he thought about her now.

 

Nick took a couple of deep breaths and jumped out of the truck into the heat of the day.

 

He opened the front door and walked into their home and after closing the door behind him he stood still, waiting for Gil to come to him, as he knew he would.  As if on cue, Gil came out of the kitchen wiping his hands on a towel and walking towards Nick.

 

“What kept you, I heard you pull up a few minutes…Nick what’s wrong?  What is it?  Are you okay?”  Gil's voice became increasingly concerned as he continued to walk towards the motionless Nick.

 

And exactly what Nick knew would happen, happened.  His chin quivered and his eyes teared up and he started to sob just as Gil reached him and put his arms around him, hugging him tightly.  Nick let his head fall onto Gil's shoulder and he sobbed; he held onto Gil’s shirt front, gripping it so tightly his hands hurt.

 

Gil said nothing.  He’d learned to weather these occasional storms and just provide comfort until Nick felt able to tell him what was wrong.  But he could tell that this was worse than usual.  He rubbed Nick’s back with solid strokes, in the hope of providing some comfort.

 

Gradually, Nick’s sobs subsided and Nick tried to speak, but his voice wasn’t ready for it.

 

“Shhhh, don’t rush, we’ve got plenty of time.  I love you, sweetheart.”

 

Nick nodded into Gil's shoulder.  Gil couldn’t make it right, but he’d make it tolerable.  He loosened his death grip on Gil's shirt and pulled back a little from his shoulder leaving a very wet patch.

 

“Messed up your shirt, babe.” He hiccoughed.

 

“Shirts don’t matter.  Here.”  Gil handed Nick the kitchen towel he’d been wiping his hands on and still had in his left hand.

 

“Man, it’s a kitchen towel; I can’t put my germs all over that.”  He smiled a watery smile.

 

Gil let go of Nick and pulled an almost clean handkerchief from his pants pockets.

 

“Here, try this then.”

 

“Thanks.”  Nick wiped his eyes and face and then used it to blow his nose.  Gil chuckled.  “Sorry.”

 

“I’ve seen and heard worse.  Come and sit down.  You want a drink?”

 

“Yeah.  Please.  I’m thirsty.”

 

“What about a juice?”

 

“Good.  Yeah.  I’m sorry.”

 

Gil, who hadn’t moved, put his hands on Nick’s face and stroked his hot cheeks with his thumbs.

 

“Don’t ever be sorry.  I’m okay, you know that.  You’re kind and sensitive, and I love you for that.”

 

Nick nodded as yet another tear made its solitary track down his cheek, but it was intercepted by Gil's thumb, which wiped it away.

 

“I’ll get your juice.”

 

“I’ll go…”

 

“…no, you go and sit down.”

 

“Okay.”  He leaned his forehead against Gil’s.  “Love you, man, so much.”  Nick had known that Gil would understand; he always did and never, not once, had he ever made fun of Nick’s tears.  Gil took care of him and loved him.

“I know you do.”

 

“Can I have a half and half?”

 

“Sure.”  Gil knew that Nick liked a half a glass of juice topped up with soda; he’d said it was refreshing, so Gil had tried it too, and he’d agreed.

 

“I’m gonna go out on the deck, get some fresh air.”

 

“Good idea.”  Nick moved past Gil and Gil spent a few moments watching Nick’s back at he walked towards the patio doors.  His shoulders were slumped and he looked defeated.  He guessed he’d find out what the problem was soon enough.

 

Gil prepared the drinks for them and took them out onto the deck.  Nick had removed his work boots and was wriggling his toes.  He smiled up at Gil as he gave him his drink and then took the other seat at the table.

 

“Always good to get the old boots off after work, makes my feet feel all light and free.”

 

Gil looked at Nick’s sock encased feet and chuckled.  “What is this work thing you’re talking about?”

 

“Don’t rub it in, man.  I have to work to keep you…but you have your uses.”  He raised his glass and they clinked them together and Nick drank nearly all of his in one go.

 

“I’m glad I do.”

 

“It was a case I had.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Sixteen year old girl.  Murdered.  Man, it just shouldn’t have happened.”

 

“No.”

 

“It was like a domino effect…something happened before she was born and she ended up dying because of it…her mother killed her, adopted mother.  But her mother had killed before and I…I didn’t…I didn’t…there wasn’t any evidence…”

 

Nick started his tale hesitantly, but gathered momentum and explained the whole set of circumstances that led to her mother running the deadly scissors into Haley’s chest.

 

Gil listened without interrupting Nick and when he was finished, waited a minute or two before speaking.

 

“If the ex-junkie had told you what he’d seen, when he saw it, there may have been a different outcome.  He didn’t and you had no evidence.  It’s not your fault; but I know you, and I know you’ll feel some culpability for her death.  The way lives become tangled and edges blurred often leads to the death of innocent people and of innocence itself, in a way.  I don’t have to tell you just how many cases like this we’ve all dealt with over the years.

 

“But once in a while one case gets to you.  The utter futility, the hopelessness.  I understand.  We lost.  We lost this case and the young girl died.  All you can do Nicky, my love, is mourn her and remember her as she was.  Although Haley wasn’t saved, you have saved many others.  Remember Cassie.”

 

“Yeah.  Cassie.  We saved her.”

 

“No, Nick.  YOU saved her; the others gave up, remember that.”

 

“Yeah.  Ray was okay, you know.  He saw me cry; he was good…but he was a bit weird talking about films that he likes that no one else does.  Talked about masochism, too, I don’t think I’m a masochist.  Maybe he was joking.”

 

Gil raised his eyebrows at that information.  “I wouldn’t call you a masochist either; you take things to heart but you don’t strike me as masochistically inclined.  But, he’s a capable man; he would recognise your grief.”

 

“I wish it’d been you.”

 

“I know you do, but I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere.”  Gil leaned across the table and ran his hand up and down Nick’s forearm as it lay on the table.

 

Nick smiled across at him.  “Some birthday, huh?”

 

“Yes.  I was going to suggest going out for a brunch, but let’s stay in and I’ll make anything you want, what do you say?”

 

“Good.”

 

“Are you hungry?”

 

“You know what?  I am.  Make me one of your special omelettes, please?”

 

“Coming up.  Go take a shower and change and I’ll rustle up a little feast for you.  You can tell me more about Haley, what she was like that first time.”

 

“That’d be good…she said I was way nicer than her Chem teacher.”

 

“Now that wouldn’t be difficult.”

 

“You don’t know who her Chem teacher is…was.”

 

“No, true, but how could they be nicer than you, Nick?  Tell me, how?”

 

Nick laughed.  “You’re way too biased, man.”

 

“I know.  I’m a really lucky guy”

 

“I think I’m the lucky one, you put up with me.”

 

“I don’t put up with you.  I live with you and I love you.  I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

 

“Nor you.”

 

“There you are then; we’re made for one another.”

 

“You know what? I think we are.”

 

The End