title: more than he can possibly handle
by: parkagirl
fandom: CSI: Vegas
pairing: nick/greg
rating: pg-13
spoilers: Stalker

***

He didn't want to stay in this house. In fact he didn't want to live here anymore. He stared at the hole in his ceiling and shuddered.

"Nick?"

He turned slightly toward the sound of his name. He found Catherine staring. She had a look on her face that he couldn't place.

"What?" He finally asked, his voice raspy.

"I've been calling your name for five minutes." She said, quietly.

"I … " He didn't have anything to say. He wanted to curl up in bed and cry.

They lapsed into silence. The only sounds were the other CSIs, cleaning out his attic. He looked up again.

"I'm so sorry." Catherine whispered, walking over toward him.

He backed away; he didn't want to be near anyone.

"Cath … I …" He couldn't form complete sentences. Watching that, that man, behind the glass was the last time he'd spoken more than three words.

Catherine moved away from Nick. "You need someplace to stay?" She asked.

He almost smiled; but instead shook his head. "Fine." His voice came out in a strangled whisper.

Catherine nodded and opened her mouth, but was interrupted by Warrick and Sara.

"We're done here." Warrick turned to Nick, "You need anything?"

Nick shook his head. "Quiet." He eventually added.

Sara gave him a worried look, but Warrick dragged her out of his house.

He was just about to sit down when there was a knock on the door. He jumped up and reached for his gun. Taking a breath he called, "Who is it?"

"Grissom."

"Come in." He replied

"Are you sure you don't need someplace to stay?" Grissom asked.

Nick nodded.

"If you do, call one of us."

Nick nodded again. He wanted to be alone.

Grissom shook his head, but left.

The dust settled and house became eerily quiet. Nick sat in the middle of his couch staring at the pile of tiles on his floor.

Without warning he felt his cheeks get wet. The silence was deafening. His heart was pounding in his chest. He was gasping for air. He tried to take deep breaths, but it wasn't working.

He knew what was happening. This wasn't the first time.

He tried to calm down. He remembered that water helped. He stood up, only to find that the room was spinning. He sat down again.

He sat, tears running down his face, for five minutes. Then without thinking, he stood up. He walked into his bedroom. He pulled a suitcase from the closet. He threw stuff in. He grabbed a pillow off of his bed. It was covered in a Texas A & M pillowcase his mother made when he was a freshman. He zipped the suitcase shut and stumbled to the living room.

The tiles stopped him. He looked up. The hole gaped down. He stared. He felt his heart race. He took a deep breath, grabbed his gun, coat, and cell, and then walked outside.

The door slammed behind him and he jumped.

"Fuck." He muttered, feeling tears in his eyes again.

He staggered toward his car. His whole body hurt.

The car seemed miles away. He turned around. His house was staring at him, taunting him.

He felt his knees go weak. He couldn't move. Air rushed in his ears again. He was suddenly sitting on the ground.

*ring*

He stared at the phone.

*ring*

He didn't want to answer.

*ring*

"Hello?" He whispered.

"Nick?" A male voice said.

"Greg?" He chocked out.

"Are you okay?"

"I …" He was still mad at Greg. It was all Greg's fault. No. It was his fault. He wasn't a nice enough guy. "It's all my fault." He said.

"Nick, where are you?" Came the reply.

"I … I caused it. It's my fault." He was crying again.

"It's not your fault." Greg replied, trying not to sound frantic.

"Mine …" Nick said, and then the tears wouldn't stop.

He didn't move as a car roared up onto the grass. He didn't fight when Greg sat next to him. He didn't push Greg away. Instead, he held on for dear life.

Later, when he woke up, he wondered why Greg had been so nice. He heard quiet snoring and looked up to see Greg, asleep on a chair facing the couch. Then he looked in his arms. He was clutching the pillow. He didn't care anymore. He fell back to sleep, feeling safe.

***