Title: Quite a Lot in Love
By: Mondeo
Fandom: CSI: NY
Pairing: Danny/Mac
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: Pain
Disclaimer: I don't own CSI: NY. Not even a tiny bit of Danny
A/N: Thanks to Cath who beta'd this fic, even if I ignored her pleas to make it smuttier.

***

After the shooting, they made me go see the department shrink. She said I was fine, and I wanted to believe her. I wanted to believe her so badly, but I didn't. Because there's no way it's healthy to feel the way I do. I'm not depressed or anything, just... painfully in love with my boss.

"Just" painfully in love, yeah right.

I'm not gonna lie, when I went to see Mac and asked if we were good, and he said, "We'll see," it crushed me.

I left with my tail between my legs, and was almost out the lab when I decided I wasn't gonna let him get to me. I stormed back up, ready to give him a piece of my mind. But when I got to his office I froze in horror.

Stella was touching his face. And not in what I'd call a friendly way. In the way I wanted to touch his face. It was funny how jealous I became so quickly, but I'd always felt sort of possessive of Mac, and right now I wanted to yell something horriffically fake-gangsta like, "Yo bitch! Get off my turf!"

Thankfully I held back, and waited outside until she left. Mac looked like he was planning on leaving as well, but what I had to say couldn't wait.

"Danny..."

I cut him off. Taking a deep breath, I launched into my speech. "Look, Mac, I know this probably isn't a good time, you're probably really busy... Doing boss stuff or something," I was never a great speaker, but I ploughed on, "But this really can't wait. See, when you said, 'We'll see,' and I said that was ok, I lied. It's not ok. Nothing is if you can't forgive me. I made a mistake, but I can't lose you over it."

Mac's face registered surprise at my choice of words. He opened his mouth to say something but I continued, "See, the truth is... I'm in love with you. Quite a lot." Even at that time my brain managed to register that saying that I was quite a lot in love with him wasn't overly smooth, "And, well, I just thought I should tell you because..."

I don't actually know why he should know, I suddenly realise. Christ, I've just told him I'm in love with him for no apparent reason. He could have lived without the knowledge, I could have...

I'm saved from making a further ass of myself because, at that moment, Mac grabs me. For a minute I think he's going to punch me. I brace myself. But I could never have prepared myself for what happened next.

Mac's lips were on mine. Softer than I expected, but insistent all the same. And then it's full-on and my brain's stopped working altogether other than occasionally registering that this is good and that I never want it to end.

When we eventually break apart, Mac breathes in my ear, "Let's get out of here."

And so we go, him leading the way, back to his place.