Title: Slow Dancing In a Burning Room
Author: Seether_79
Rating: NC-17 (sex but not very explicit…sort of)
Beta: The extremely awesome Jayceepat
Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or any of its characters.



A/N: Dedicated to the lovely woman who has beta'd all my stories for me, the wonderful Jayceepat :)




It wasn't like in the movies; things didn't just work out in the end while an inspirational love song played in the background. Nick sat by the window in his now empty house staring at the dark Vegas sky letting the loneliness and pain seep into his body like a poison that was slowly suffocating him. He thought back to all the movies he had seen where the lead character would watch the night sky and then come to some sort of realization on how to fix things; real life was not that easy. The black sky did nothing but emphasize how isolated and alone he felt.

Greg and he had ended things a month ago; but if Nick were to be truthful with himself the end had been in sight for a long time before that. Over the last year of their relationship they had gradually grown to be strangers; two people who shared a house, a bed but nothing more. It was like sleeping with the ghost of someone you used to know; they looked like the person you loved but it wasn't really them, just a shadow of who they used to be.

Nick wasn't exactly sure when things began to change between them. The bitter man inside of him wanted to blame it on Greg for transferring to the field full time, or on Ecklie for splitting up the graveyard shift; he wanted to blame it on anyone but himself.

Greg lost his edge when he became a CSI; he was no longer the funny carefree man he had been when he and Nick first found each other. Greg became a serious and dedicated man, which was a part of growing up. But Nick couldn't help but miss his metal loving, live in, lab rat boyfriend. The man who would spike his hair in ridiculous directions and wear Marilyn Manson T-shirts under his white lab coat. The fearless man that didn't care what anyone thought of him as long as he was happy with himself. Nick felt as though Greg had lost himself in the job, and felt like a failure because he couldn't help the younger man find himself again.

Then the team had been split up. Warrick, Catherine and he were working swing shift; while Grissom, Sara, Greg and the temporary day's supervisor worked the nightshift. With all the time Greg had been putting into passing his proficiency and the fact that they were working different shifts the amount of time they got to spend together became smaller and smaller; and at the same time the distance between them grew larger.

As much as he wanted to blame it all on those two things Nick knew that he'd be lying if he didn't own up to the fact that he also changed. Being buried alive changes someone and not in a good way. After the Walter Gordon incident he became distant when he and Greg were at home. He just needed time to process what had happened to him; the problem was that Greg was more than willing to give him that space he needed. They both took a step back while living in the same house. By the time Nick was ready to be himself again too much damage had been done. He wanted to talk to Greg and tell him everything about what he was thinking and feeling but he didn't know where to start; he really didn't know how to begin talking again to the man he loved.

He knew a part of him would always love Greg, but sometimes love just isn't enough to save something that is far too broken to fix. They either didn't talk or they ended up fighting over stupid things like whose turn it was to take out the garbage. It got to the point where they wouldn't say a word to each for weeks just to avoid getting into an argument. They didn't have sex for months or even kiss each other in the mornings; they had become nothing more than roommates that could barely stand to be in the same room with each other.

It hadn't been messy; there were no tears or sorrowful goodbyes. The world didn't stop turning and the noises from the outside world going on with its everyday business could be heard clearly in their quiet home. It was a Tuesday afternoon when Greg had turned to him and said that he was tired. Nick didn't have to be a mind reader to figure out what he meant. So they sat down at the kitchen table and looked at each other with solemn eyes; each knowing that the end had finally arrived. The conversation had been quick. Nick had asked Greg if he thought they could fix things, Greg's face gave Nick the answer to his question. Greg had said that he would move out and stay with Sara till he could find a place of his own. Nick had asked what they should do with the furniture they had bought together; Greg told him he could keep it all. Then Greg went to the room that used to be their bedroom and packed his things. They smiled sadly at each other and then he was gone. And that was how five years of his life ended.

It all seemed so silly now that he thought about it. Greg was the love of his life; he couldn't understand why they had let things get that bad in the first place. He didn't understand why loving Greg hadn't been enough. Everything seemed so pointless without Greg there. He didn't cook fancy meals anymore and had become accustomed to having ham sandwiches or microwave pasta for dinner instead of real food. He couldn't be bothered keeping the house clean; what was the point if he couldn't share it with someone. Everything seemed so mundane.

He looked over at the last box of Greg's stuff; it had a few CD's, books and clothes in it. That box was the only thing left of the younger man in his house. Nick knew Greg would eventually have to come and collect it. He wondered if maybe that would help him move on; that the box being removed would be the last nail in the coffin of their relationship. He wondered if that would be the closure he needed to get past this and start feeling like himself again; if he could ever return to the man he used to be.

He reached into his jeans pocket and picked up his cell phone with a small sigh. It was time to face the reality of the situation and move on. He needed to get over his depression and face the fact that he and Greg were over; that love had not been enough in the end.
_______________________________________


Greg believed in fate, he believed in it for as along as he could remember. When he was four he had found a dead bird in his backyard. The small body had saddened him to the point of tears; as his mother soothed him gently she had told him that all though it was a sad thing it was just fate, that it was that birds time to die, you can't fight destiny. Greg had always believed that if something was meant to happen it would, even if you didn't want it to.

When Greg first met Nick he had fallen for the older man instantly. Nick had killer looks, and a charming personality to match. Greg knew deep down in his soul that they would one day be together, he had just felt it. So when they went out for drinks one night and ended up in Nick's bed touching and grinding against each other; Greg hadn't been surprised; he figured that it was fate finally working its wonderful magic.

They had been together after that. Greg had been surprised at how easily ‘being together' came to them; he guessed that was one of the benefits of beings friends first. Nick already knew how Greg liked his coffee and what music he liked. He knew what cases at work bothered Nick and the type of food he liked to eat. They were different people but they complimented each other, like salt and pepper. They moved in together after only eight months of dating. And up until the last year they had a blissfully happy life together.

Greg knew that a lot of people believed that he had changed when he started his training to become a CSI, including Nick. He could see the way his boyfriend looked at him when something funny happened and he didn't comment on it. Greg knew that Nick thought he was losing himself in the world of forensics. To a degree he was right; Greg knew that he had taken a more serious attitude to the world around him, that he changed his hair and clothes to a more sophisticated style and didn't blare his music as much. Greg sometimes found himself wondering if Nick remembered what it was like for him in the lab; Greg wasn't taken seriously when he was a lab rat. The CSI's had found him amusing on occasion and enjoyed talking with him but they thought of him like a goofy kid brother and if Greg wanted to succeed in the field then he needed to change those views of himself; Nick didn't seem to get that.

Other things didn't help like the shift change and Nick's abduction. Greg had felt so lost the night Nick had been taken and buried alive; there were so many things he wanted to tell Nick once he had been found again. He wanted to tell him how much he loved and needed him, that Nick was his world and always had been. But every time he tried to say those things to his recovering lover his voice froze inside his throat; the words became lost.

The silence had been deafening but Greg held hope they could salvage what they once had when the fights started. That might sound strange to some people but in Greg's eyes if you're fighting with some one then at least you still feel passion towards them, and passion was a good thing. The fights were painful and usually over the most stupid things; Greg sometimes found himself starting a fight just to have some sort of contact with Nick, but eventually the hurtful things they would say to each other became too much so he stopped. They both stopped and a stillness filled their home that made Greg's heart break; because when the fighting stopped he knew it was the end.

Everything had been loud up until then; he was a loud person and if there was such a thing as living your life loudly he did it. When they first got together the bar had been loud and busy, some crazy cowboy song could be heard in the background during their first kiss. When they reached Nick's bed their moans of pleasure had been loud enough for the neighbors to hear. The first time Nick had told Greg he loved him he had to shout it over a Black Flag song so that Greg could actually hear his words. Their fights were so loud that the cops had even been called once. So it surprised Greg that in the end it had been so quiet. The day they broke up he looked at Nick and told him softly that he was tired; Nick had understood what he meant. A quick conversation followed and that was it. There was no shouting or blame, just a few words and sad little smiles.

So Greg was led back to destiny, the fact the maybe they just weren't destined to be together. If someone had asked him four years ago if he thought he would spend the rest of his life with Nick he would have told them yes, as corny as it sounds he and Nick would be together forever. Now his standard reply to any one who asked him why they broke up was ‘it just wasn't meant to be'. How quickly things change, or maybe slowly; he really wasn't sure. Sometimes he found himself thinking they were lucky to hold on for as long as they did, or maybe they were stupid for not ending it when things obviously weren't working anymore; trying to force themselves to make something that was broken work like nothing had changed.

The truth was they both changed and they changed into people that didn't click anymore. He still loved Nick and he was pretty sure the feelings were returned; but it takes more than love to have a happy and healthy relationship. But the realistic facts of the situation did nothing to help Greg's broken heart; the pain of not being with the one person you need more than anything. For the last month he had thought of nothing but Nick; it just didn't feel like it was over yet. The finality of the situation had not hit him like it normally did with a break up. Greg put that down to the fact that he had never loved anyone the way he had Nick.

He sighed quietly to himself as he pulled his car over and looked up at the house he used to consider his home. Nick called him earlier to let him know he still had one box left there and that he could come and get it any time. Greg figured it was best to get it right away; putting it off was just going to make him think to much about everything. Getting this box was like pulling a band aid off, better to just do it quickly. It was taking all his will power to stop himself from turning his car back on and driving the other way as fast as he could. "No time like the present" He muttered to himself.

_______________________________________


Nick made a sound that was half a sigh and half a groan when he heard the knock on the front door. He knew Greg was coming and the terrified feeling that filled him was surprising. He had seen Greg at work many times since their break up so he didn't know why this time was different.

"Hey" He said quietly when he opened the door and saw Greg standing there looking as handsome as ever.

"Hi" Greg said with an un-sure tone. This felt strange to him, not seeing Nick, but the awkward tension that surrounded them. He had always felt his most comfortable around Nick and now the exact opposite thing was happening.

"So… Your stuff is over here" Nick said as he pointed to the box sitting in the middle of the living room floor. He moved so that Greg could walk in and then followed the younger man's path. "Do you want a drink or something?"

"…Okay" Greg replied with an uncertain voice. He figured he would get in, get his stuff and then get out; he hadn't anticipated ‘having a drink' or anything similar happening.

"Beer okay?" Nick asked as he walked to the kitchen.

"Sure" Greg said as he looked around the house he used to think of as home. Nick hadn't changed anything since he had left. In fact there were still pictures of them placed around the room like they were still a happy couple or something. He looked at the couch and was trying to decide if he should sit down or not.

"You can sit down Greg, the couch doesn't bite" Nick told him with a small smile as he walked back into the room holding two beers. He hadn't intended to offer Greg a drink or anything but when he saw him standing there Nick couldn't help himself. He wanted to be around Greg again, he missed him.

"I know it doesn't" Greg said as he took a seat. "I picked this couch, I love this couch."

"I know you do… You always said you would a die a happy man if you could sit on this couch at least once a day. I've never met anyone who loves a couch as much as you love this one" Nick laughed as he also sat down.

"What can I say, I'm a weird guy" Greg grinned.

"Yeah, but it suits you. How's living with Sara going?" Nick asked a little nervously; he wasn't sure if bringing up something that was a direct result of their break-up was a good idea.

"Interesting, she's a vegetarian so I'm not allowed to put meat in her fridge which is a bit odd for me but other than that everything is fine" Greg replied trying to sound at ease.

"And you, you're good?" Nick still cared about Greg and he wasn't going to pretend that wasn't true.

"Yeah Nick, I'm good" Greg said with a genuine smile.

"I'm glad… That you're good" Nick replied in a voice that made him sound more like a child than a man; it was the same voice he always used when he was feeling tense.

"Nick" Greg said quietly.

"Yeah" Nick replied.

"Are you okay?" Greg asked him.

"Yeah… I just… I'm sorry Greg" Nick said with a soft voice as he looked at Greg with miserable eyes.

"Sorry for what?" Greg asked feeling slightly confused.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't make you happy" Nick told him, his face filled with a sorrow that took Greg's breath away.

"No, no, no" Greg said as he shifted himself closer to Nick and took his hand into his own. "Don't do that Nick thing; don't blame yourself when it wasn't your fault. We just grew apart and I don't honestly know if neither of us is to blame or if we both are. But what ever did happen, it happened from both sides. So don't put the blame and fault on yourself. I know you and you're going to drive yourself crazy if you keep doing that."

When looking back at this moment Nick would never be able to figure out why he did it, maybe it was just being around Greg again, or maybe it was the reassuring words taking him back to a time when Greg would comfort him like a lover did; he kissed Greg and in that moment the rest of the world faded away.

Greg knew this was a bad idea, that he and Nick weren't together now and that this kiss would just complicate the situation; but what Greg knew and what Greg cared about were two completely different things, and the moment he felt Nick's mouth on his own he really didn't care about what he knew. All he cared about was the sweet lips that were sensually attacking his own.

Nick ran his hands along Greg's arms and his back and anywhere else that he could reach. He just wanted to feel the young man again. He wanted to memorize every touch and every sound; he wanted this moment to last forever. He was surprised when Greg's fingers reached for his shirt buttons and started to undo them. He was even more surprised when Greg was done and had rid him of the shirt he mumbled "Bedroom" into Nick's ear. All he could do was nod as he lifted himself and Greg off the couch.

Greg's mind was a haze. The lust in him had taken over; he was now in Nick's bed completely naked with the beautiful man above him staring down at him with dark eyes. He had no idea how they managed to make it into the bedroom. They had been clawing at each other and by the time they had finished their journey down the hallway all their clothes were gone and they were rubbing against each other like two love sick teenagers; but the moment they laid down everything seemed to slow down. They both took their time feeling and touching each others exposed skin; it was like coming home.

The actual foreplay didn't last long, it didn't need to they both knew each other's body so well by now. "I want to feel you; I don't want to use a condom. Have you been with anyone since…?" Nick started to ask; he was worried that this might break the spell that had taken over them.

"I haven't been with anyone else" Greg replied as he gave Nick a reassuring smile. He wanted to feel Nick as badly as Nick wanted to feel him. The need for the other man was so strong that Greg thought he might actually pass out if Nick wasn't inside of him soon. "Please."

Nick felt like he had died and gone to heaven when he finally entered Greg; Greg was tight as he always was and Nick realized he hadn't felt this satisfied in a long time. He paused knowing Greg always needed a minute to adjust after penetration. And when Greg looked up at him with eyes full of need Nick knew it was time to move. He started slowly, just enjoying the feeling of being inside his love again. He leaned his head down and kissed Greg leisurely as he thrust in and out.

Greg moaned lightly when Nick stopped kissing him and picked up the pace of his thrusts; Greg moved his hips in time with him, it was like a dance between them that they both knew well. He loved being filled by Nick, it was the most alive he ever felt. He ran his hands across the older mans back as he wrapped his legs even tighter around his waist. He moved himself to get Nick in him as deep as humanly possible. He wanted to feel all of him in all the right places. And when Nick wrapped his hand around his cock he knew he would come sooner than he would like. He wanted this to last but it had been a very long time since they'd had sex, months, almost a year. Greg knew he was panting loudly when the familiar tingle reached his stomach but he didn't care, he let himself get lost in the sensation.

"Come for me" Nick whispered huskily in Greg's ear and that was all it took. Greg moaned loudly as he came, his mouth shaping like an O while his eyes fluttered and his body tensed; the look on Greg's face and the sound of pleasure he made was all Nick needed to follow as he felt his own orgasm hit him like a wave from the ocean. Reluctant to move off Greg he just laid down on top of him feeling spent, enjoying the afterglow and the feeling of Greg's skin sticking to his own.

Nick wasn't sure how long after that his brain finally returned to him, it could have been minutes, it could have been hours. He moved slowly off Greg and laid down beside him; he looked at Greg and saw him staring at the ceiling, he turned his face away from the younger man and did the same thing; looked up at the ceiling while he searched for the right words to say. Nothing particularly poetic came to him and he found himself just simply asking, "What was that?"

Greg continued to look up and seemed to be deep in thought. After a few minutes he finally replied, "I think it was goodbye."


The End


A/N: Thanks for reading. Reviews are love :)