Title: Shut Up
By: it-glitters
Pairing: Greg/Nick
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Rating: NC-17
Series: 1) Darkness Moves, 2) Perfect Deviant, 3) Public Displays, 4) Shared Toys, 5) Hands Tied, 6) Sheer Madness, 7) Manipulation, 8) Enough, 9) The Gospel According To Tony, 10) Whore
Deviant, 3) Public Displays, 4) Shared Toys, 5) Hands Tied, 6) Sheer Madness, 7) Manipulation, 8) Enough
Warnings: violence, rape/non-con, other pairings
Summary: Nick tells Greg the truth.

***

Nick berated himself for letting Greg win the argument in the locker room. At least Warrick had stopped it before it had come to serious blows.

Greg must have sped the whole way, because he was already parked and inside by the time Nick got there. He took a deep breath as he walked towards Greg's door. He thought about knocking, but instead he went straight in.

Greg was waiting in the hall. "300 bucks for head, Nick? Robbie's good – but not that good."

"I had some shit to get through." Nick stood his ground, eyeing Greg fiercely.

"Robbie mentioned that – said you went a little nuts. He wondered why you stay."

"I wonder why Robbie's still so fucking loyal to you. He should hate you for what you did." They were facing each other down like gunslingers in an old Western.

"And so should you."

Nick lost his cool – he was not going to hold his tongue any longer. "STOP IT! Fucking stop! I can't fucking take it anymore! I love you – can't you get that? I love you beyond reason – beyond words. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you, but you do everything in your power to push me away. And I'm sorry for what happened with that guy last night – my mind was in an awful place. If I could take it back, I would. I want to know what to do, Greg. God, I just wish there were some sort of sign – some way to make you better – to connect one Greg to the other. Just to see you smile. I want to know how you can be who you are at work and then who you are at home."

They were squaring off now – Greg tried to say something, but Nick stopped him.

"Let me get this out, Greg. Let me say what I need to say for once – and not be afraid of how you'll react. I spend my life on tiptoes trying not to upset you – but not today. You need help – people have hurt you so bad that I can't even come to terms with it. You are beautiful and amazing and I can't comprehend why anyone would ever want to hurt you. I'm your partner, Greg. I've stuck by your side for two years. And, you know what? In spite of all the bad shit that has happened – I will always think of it as the most wonderful two years of my life." Nick finally stopped and took a deep breath. "You have to let me help you."

"I don't want your help, and I don't want your pity."

"Then I can't be a part of us anymore."

Greg leaned against the wall and away from Nick.

"Greg – say something. Say anything. Tell me what's going on in your head. Help me understand."

"I tried to make you understand," Greg said, still leaning into the wall. "Tired to bring you into my world, and you wouldn't accept it."

"If you're talking about the clubs – the bondage – that stuff... that's not your world, Greg. I won't believe that – that's something you were forced into and haven't gotten out of yet. You and me are a world – a world apart and that's what you've shown me, but haven't let us live in. Let's talk about our world versus yours. Take sex for example – you always cum harder and more often when we make love my way. And if you want to talk safety – in your 'world' – you're lucky you never caught anything permanent... or fatal. You're safe with me – your safety and your pleasure lies in us – not that other place."

"Fuck you."

"Greg – I want you around forever. And there's nothing you can't get right here – with me – that you can't get at some fucking club. You don't need clubs and other men – you've got me!"

"And when you get tired of me?"

"I'll never get tired of you."

"And when I get tired of you?"

"That's your choice. I'm asking you to just try it, Greg. Let's just try you being you, and me being me, and us being us. Can't we just try?"

"I don't know."

"I'm asking for a fucking chance, Greg!" Nick had moved to the point where he was only inches from Greg. "Just give us a change, baby."

Greg had hidden his face so that Nick couldn't see – but it only took a moment for Nick to see that Greg was crying.

"G?" Nick placed his hand on Greg's back.

"Don't touch me."

"I'm going to touch you. I'm going to hold you." He turned Greg around and took the trembling man into his arms. "I'll find a way to make it okay, Greg. I swear it. You just have to trust me."

"And what if nothing works? I feel guilty about what I do – but it's like a compulsion."

"It's retaliation, Greg. You can't get back at the ones that hurt you, so you hurt me."

"Why do you stay?"

"Because I love you and I need you in my life. I want to be with you. Sometimes that means sacrifice. And it wasn't all bad. Remember, I got off too."

"Not just the sex, Nicky. I mean all the other shit you put up with. My moods – God, sometimes, I'm just so angry that I could fucking kill you."

"Don't go to Chris anymore, ok? Talk to me when you feel like that."

Greg puled himself away form Nick's shoulder. "You know about Chris? You know what I do there?"

"I don't know exactly what you do there – but I know it's something that has to stop."

"Okay."

"And I wanted to help you find someone to talk to – someone who can help you more than I can. I'm dying to understand you, G – to help you. But, I know I can only go so far alone."

"I don't know if I can talk about it."

"Some day. We need to take care of things one day at a time."

"And what about today?"

"Come with me," Nick said, pulling Greg to the bedroom. "Lay down."

Greg lay flat on his back and let Nick strip him down to his boxers. Nick did the same and crawled over Greg to kiss him. "Want to make out, G?"

Greg licked his lips and nodded. They kissed until they were breathless and their lips were swollen.

"What now?" Greg asked as he traced lazy lines up and down Nick's abs.

"We sleep."

"I'm to hard to sleep!"

"Come here." Nick kissed him and slipped his hand inside Greg's boxers. Nick continued to stroke and kiss until Greg arched his back and screamed out. Nick wiped his hand off with the tissues from the nightstand. "How'd that feel, G?"

"Amazing."

"And no one got hurt."

"Can I blow you?" Greg asked, his eyes surprisingly hopeful.

"No teeth."

"No teeth," Greg promised back.

Greg crawled down the bed and removed Nick's boxers. He gently lapped at Nick's swollen penis. Instead of grabbing Greg by the hair, Nick placed his hands on the headboard. Greg continued to suck and nibble carefully – no biting, no forced deepthroating. With one hand, he gently caressed Nick's sac. With the other, he rubbed Nick's stomach. Nick didn't thrust violently or say anything – except for a fervent 'I love you' when he came.

Greg crawled back up into Nick's arms. "That was nice."

"It was amazing."

"I love you, Nicky."

"I love you, too."

"I'm sorry."

"It was no one's fault."

They fell asleep, curled in each other's safe embrace. For once, Nick was hopeful.

***

Next story in series - Just Don't.