By: anmani
Summary: Nick and Greg are off to a conference in a winter covered landscape. The story is set early 2006, so anything before that on the show might be referred to. Minor spoilers for Brokeback Mountain
as well.Disclaimer: They belong to the CBS and not me.
Author's notes: I got this idea for a winter time fic in December 2005. It has taken me a while to write it, but I didn't want to post while still writing. Serenity has held my hand and patiently beta'ed the whole thing. dagsrommer has been a continuous source of inspiration and sent me many pictures of snow. Characters: Nick, Greg
Genres: angst, romance
Rating: PG13
Warnings: none
"The forecast said snow, more snow and then perhaps a blizzard." Greg was bouncing in his seat with pure joy.
Nick had never been a fan of conferences and conferences combined with snow were even less attractive.
"What's so great about snow?" Nick groaned, slightly irritated over the fact that any conference available since last summer had come his way.
"What's so… Nick!" Greg sounded like he had just told him that he couldn't remember what water was composed of.
"Snow makes the world quiet and serene. Everything becomes innocent when covered in snow. And it is just the best toy ever invented. You can do anything with it." Greg emphasized his words with his right hand waving all over, but still keeping his left on the steering wheel maintaining a straight course through the thin sprinkling of snow settling on the highway.
"It makes moving around hard and complicated; it gets in everywhere and it's cold." Nick complained, willing himself to relax and not worry about Greg not reducing the speed.
"Lighten up man. Things usually come with a positive side too." Greg's mind came to a screeching halt when he realized how those words could also be understood.
There was hardly anything positive about having been kidnapped and buried alive and eaten by fire ants. He was about to launch an apologizing rant when the car in front of them skidded out with the brake lights lightening up. Nick snapped a quick breath and held it as Greg maneuvered past the unfortunate vehicle and brought the car to a stop further down the road.
"Come on." Greg tapped him on the shoulder and Nick slowly lifted his head from where it rested in his hands. "We'd better go and see if they need help."
Nick turned around at Greg's words and looked out of the back window to see the car slowly making it back onto the road from the field that it had stopped in.
"Guess not." Greg shrugged his shoulders and followed the car in the mirror until it had passed them.
"Maybe slowing down would be an idea." Nick said quietly, unable to see the positive side of driving when it was snowing.
"Yeah. Nick, I'm sorry." Greg began, but forgot what he wanted to say when his cell vibrated and slowly began it's ringing.
"Sanders!" that was all Nick understood of the conversation, since the rest was in another language and knowing Greg he figured it was Norwegian.
"Ta da!" Greg had ended the call and turned to Nick with a triumphant smile.
"What?"
"I've got us another set of wheels." Greg grinned widely and sat the car in motion again.
"What?"
"An old friend of mine lives about an hour from here and he's got a Land Cruiser rigged Iceland style." Nick tried to remember everything he knew about Iceland, which was mostly pifflings flying out of the nest.
"Have you been to Iceland?" Nick momentarily forgot all about the snow falling.
"Yeah, why?"
"So did you go to the Westmann Islands to see the pifflings?" Nick's brain was calling up the show that he had seen on the ‘sea parrot' and its offspring.
"No, but I've heard about them. Besides they're called pufflings, not pifflings."
"Huh, they said pifflings on Animal Planet and I've never really gotten around to read about them. Yet." Nick sounded confused and somewhat insulted.
"Yeah, well it is pufflings. Trust me. I went over several books before going to Iceland and all said pufflings." Greg spoke with a confidence increased by knowing more on a topic that should have been Nick's home turf.
"Why would they say pifflings on Animal Planet then?" Nick was desperately trying to remember the narrator's voice and exact wording.
"Maybe the accent of the narrator made it hard to decipher. I swear some of them on that travel show talks so weird that half the time I'm not sure what they're saying." Greg chuckled trying to ease the uncomfortable vibe that was radiating off Nick.
"Maybe, I don't know. So what else do you know about them?" Nick said pensive.
"I know how all the pufflings don't make it to water the night they take off. Because they get attracted to the lights of the town and how the kids then go around and pick them up." Greg couldn't help but smirk at Nick's furthered look of surprise. "What I'm not allowed to know about birds now?" he asked with mock insult.
"What do they do with them? I mean the kids."
"Frank told me that they give them to the boats sailing the tourists around the island, and then they get to throw them in the water. Should be quite the attraction in August for the tourists." Nick felt a mixture of jealousy and joy, because nobody shared his interest for birds normally.
"That's one thing that I'd love to see. But Iceland should be really expensive." Nick leaned back and wondered if he would ever get the time off in August so he could go.
"Iceland is expensive, but the nature is just awesome. I loved it there." Greg stated, the last words almost inaudible.
"It's a place I wanna go." Nick said quietly and leaned back in the seat.
"Anyways, I talked him into switching wheels, so we could have something fun to play with." Greg sounded so enthusiastic that Nick got worried again.
It had sounded like a good idea back in Vegas when Greg suggested they took his car so Nick could finally have his truck serviced.
"Play with?" Nick did nothing to hide his worry even though he knew that when he was worried, people tiptoed around him and he hated it.
He had always hated it, but after his encounter with Walter Gordon tiptoeing had become standard around him.
"Iceland, snow, ice, glaciers, 4x4's and crazy Vikings." Greg chuckled, trying not to worry about Nick's obvious discomfort. "He has a Land Cruiser rigged for driving in the snow." Greg said in the most neutral voice he could find to ease the tension in his coworker.
"What, with chains and all?" Nick still felt apprehensive about the whole snow thing.
"Not sure about the chains. But 38" tires and onboard inflation control. It's styled by Arctic Trucks." Greg couldn't keep the excitement from his voice any longer.
Nick leaned back and listened to Greg's long explanation about his college friend and the Land Cruiser. Listening with only half an ear Nick thought that going to yet another conference after his abduction seemed less boring when he had Greg for company. Grissom had sent him to each and every one after he got back to work; he knew that his boss meant is as some sort of protection, just like he was never working alone anymore.
Greg was actually the one who treated him like always. Nick hoped that it was because Greg understood after all the tiptoeing people had done around him after the explosion, but thought that it more likely was just Greg unable to filter his words. Greg talked a lot per definition and mostly without any internal censoring.
"… then they moved from Hofn to Rotterdam, when she got another job. Her career has always had top priority and that's why they're here now." Greg made the characteristic sound indicating the end of his speech.
Nick had heard it repeatedly over the years and part of him always regretted when it came, but another part of him wondered why he knew it so well.
"Very convenient for us." Nick said tiredly.
He stretched and yawned hoping that he could catch some sleep while Greg drove, hopefully without nightmares.
"You tired?" Greg managed to sound both concerned and insulted while still focusing on the road where more snow was adding all the time.
"Yeah, don't sleep much anymore." Nick stated wanting to find out how conscious Greg was of his recovery.
"Bad dreams?" the concern clearly there in Greg's words. "Or bad lovers?" Greg bantered just in case he wasn't supposed to know more.
"The first." Nick jumped at the opportunity to talk, he needed it more than he had realized before.
"Time will cure them, or well at least make them seem less bad." Greg said slowly as he was mostly focused on the road.
"I guess. Do you still have… you know?" Nick tested the ground.
"Mmh. I still get exploded every now and then." the words were quieter and less Greg-like.
Nick sighed since he had hoped for another answer, but deep down he knew. After he'd been stalked the looking over the shoulder and the dreams lasted for a long time.
"Oh that's our exit." Greg carefully manoeuvred the Passat up the snow covered exit.
"How long ‘ntil we get there?" Nick cringed at his own words, reminding him of fighting in the backseat when he was a kid.
"Not long." Greg said laughing then sobering quickly when the car skidded on the icy ramp. Nick grabbed the dashboard hard and stemmed his feet against the floor as if he was breaking for dear life. Swallowing hard he turned to look at his young co-worker. Greg was working the car with a concentrated pout and it brought back memories of Greg working his magic in the lab.
"Take it easy man. It's just two miles down this road and then we'll have something designed for playing in the snow." Greg soothed and patted Nick on the thigh after having regained full control over the car.
"If you say so." Nick hated when his voice went all meek and very unmanly.
The two miles that would have been covered in less than 4 minutes under normal circumstances took 13 minutes. After his unwilling stay underground Nick had become obsessed with time, most of the time he willed himself to not be too aware. But the unpleasant ride did nothing for his resolve and Greg had grown quiet with concentration, not even allowing the radio to play.
At work it was very rare for Greg to drive, he was the youngest and therefore the underdog. Most of the time he didn't mind, driving in Las Vegas could be stressful and it gave him the opportunity to taunt whoever was driving, usually Sara in his case. But he loved driving on the open roads and snow just added to the fun. The conference had been planned for months as a part of his way to become a CSI level two.
Nick had been sent by default and Greg was looking forward to spend time with his friend. With the team split and then Nick's ordeal and recovery there had not been all that much time for social interaction as in the old days. They had always had a natural ease around each other and Greg missed that. Las Vegas could be a lonely place and he had found it less interesting to meet new people after getting blown up.
The driveway of his friend's place came into view and Greg let out a relieved sigh. He loved his car, but it was not all that fit to tackle a blizzard. A Land Cruiser in the Artic truck version however, thrived in the snow and his earlier experiences with the vehicle had him looking forward to the switch, like when he had been 7 and wanted the little chemistry set.
Frank, his old college friend, had married Charlotte Kramer and taken her name, because she was the one with the career. They and their two children moved to wherever she was currently running some major company, Greg had long ago given up on remembering just what she did and where. He merely kept in touch with Frank and whenever possible, visited them. Their current residence was a large house in the countryside and the garage had room for five large vehicles.
The whole family was standing in the garage waiting for them. Greg backed in carefully and shut off the engine. Nick stood back after the first high pitched squeal from Frank and just watched them greet each other. Greg appeared much like the lost son returning home and Nick felt the wicked sting of a rare homesickness.
"Oh Nick, come over here and help me unload." Charlotte stood at the boot of Greg's car when she waved him over.
"I'm just gonna go inside to use the bathroom." Greg said from a door he had not noticed before leading into the house. Frank and the children also disappeared inside.
"Sure." Nick turned his attention to Charlotte and began helping her hefting their stuff into the huge 4x4.
"So you're the one?" Charlotte said in a knowing voice and for a long moment Nick was lost, until some little sensible voice reminded him that Greg could have told her about his abduction.
"Yeah, I'm the one." he sighed but tried not to let any irritation show.
"Greg rang after you were found and it took a while to make sense of his babbling." Charlotte spoke calmly, like they were discussing a baking recipe.
"He does tend to babble." Nick sighed with a chuckle.
"He and Frank spend a lot of time chatting, keeping each other up to date and I get the short version from Frank afterwards." she smiled a warm reassuring smile.
"You've known him long ma'am?" Nick asked only recalling Frank to have been Greg's friend in college.
"Mmh, sort of. We all met in college and I was their fag hag for the two semesters Greg was there. Then he got another scholarship and moved on." fag hag, the word etched into his mind like a tattoo.
"Something about Stanford right?" Nick couldn't quite remember just where Greg had studied, but he was certain that he'd been told more than once for sure.
"Yeah, brighter than any. So of course he had to go for the best." Charlotte flashed him a perfect smile as she picked up another bag from the trunk.
"Is Frank Norwegian too?" Nick grabbed the opportunity to turn the conversation from him to Greg.
"No. Of Swedish and Dutch descent. They talk some homemade gibberish they invented in college." she grinned in understanding and closed the now empty trunk.
"Sounds like something he'd do." Nick chuckled as he contemplated the large vehicle in front of him.
The Land Cruiser looked like it would make it a lot easier to drive in the snow with its huge tires and intricate gears.
"You've worked with him a long time now, haven't you?" she leaned against the truck and looked him straight in the eyes.
"Yeah, more than six years. Back then he was just a skinny nerd." Nick travelled back in his memories recalling Greg the wild lab tech who'd dance in the lab in any ridiculous attire at hand. He looked down feeling a slight blush at her intense stare.
"Hmm, he's certainly grown into a man since college. It was weird really, ‘cause we hadn't seem him for about a year when we came here last year. And then there was Greg in a man's body and his boyish looks all but gone." Charlotte sounded a bit nostalgic and Nick felt the ‘loss' as well.
The garage erupted into a thousand sounds when Greg, Frank and the kids came back. Quiet and Greg weren't a match made in heaven even though Greg had quietened down in his pursuit of a career as a CSI.
"We've moved all your gear and she's fully tanked. The ropes are in the orange bag should you need them." Charlotte had returned to her business like voice and Greg just beamed at her.
"Could I use the bathroom too ma'am?" Nick asked more shyly than he intended.
"Sure." Frank waved him over and led him inside the house where you potentially could get lost without a guide.
Driving was slow and tedious and both took turns at the wheel. Greg had chosen to drive during the night since he knew both the road and the truck better than Nick. It had also been his hope that Nick could get some sleep. Maybe Nick could fool everybody else, but Greg had recognized the tell tale signs of the trauma still ruling Nick's life. He should know them after his winding road back to a life that he found worth living.
Early in the morning the heavy snowfall was reduced to a few errand snowflakes dancing in the headlights. After a loud growl from his stomach Greg pulled over at a viewpoint overlooking a landscape completely covered in white. Next to him Nick stirred and in his wakening haze he seemed more relaxed than Greg ever remembered having seen him.
"Slept well?"
"Mmh, yeah. Where are we?" Nick stretched and yawned.
"120 miles from our goal." Greg moved the seat back and reached for his ‘bear-suit' sitting in the backseat. Nick just looked at him through sleep glazed eyes.
"What'cha doin' G?" the southern drawl more pronounced than normal.
"Going playing." Greg said just before he opened the door letting the cold in and jumping out into the snow.
Nick watched as Greg literally danced around in the snow in sheer joy. It brought a smile out on his face that felt real and not like the one he assumed for work every night. He grabbed his own winter outfit and shimmied into it, finishing off with his heavy boots.
"Ever made snow angels, Nick?" Greg bounced towards him as he exited the truck.
"Yeah as a kid." Nick stretched his body still feeling somewhat stiff from having slept in the same position for too long. Greg made a dramatic halt in front of him and fell back in the snow. Splaying his arms and legs Greg made a snow angel, still wearing his shit eating grin.
"Come on, you do one." Greg said eagerly as he got up.
"Too old G." the words came from a lower point than expected and belatedly Greg saw the snowball in Nick's hand.
It connected with his shoulder, but softly. Instead of retaliating with a snowball Greg decided to tackle Nick who was preoccupied with making a new snowball. With a thud Nick fell to the ground caught off guard and he desperately tried to get away from the snow that Greg threatened to stuff down his jacket. Had it been 3 years ago he could've shaken Greg off without problems, but not anymore. Greg was an inkling taller and roughly the same size as him. Coordinating his muscles Nick mustered a counterattack and flipped Greg over so he was straddling him.
It became a regular snow fight of equal strength and soon both were sweating from the exercise and laughing like children. Eventually Nick found himself on his back with Greg pinning him down and suddenly the claustrophobia swept through without warning. Greg jumped up and pulled him to his feet talking about getting something to eat.
Nick wandered off towards some trees nearby to relieve himself, while Greg rummaged in the back of the truck to get the food they'd brought for the road. A stream of silent curses slipped over his lips as he went behind a tree. Letting his guard down and showing just how messed up he still was wasn't exactly what he'd planned for this trip. Counting backwards from 100 was one of many tricks that he'd picked up lately, when he reached 43 the cold sweat ceased and he was able to return to where they were parked.
Greg had set up a picnic table complete with two foldable chairs in lee of the truck, sheltered from the wind playing with the newly fallen snow. Nick smelled coffee as he approached and wasn't really surprised that the coffee-addict also known as Greg Sanders would have hot coffee in the middle of nowhere. With his ‘I'm fine' smile plastered on he sat down and ate a sandwich washing it down with coffee.
"You good to drive the rest of the way?" Greg asked wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve.
"Yeah no problem." Nick said rubbing his neck unconsciously.
"It's another 30 miles on this road, then there's a truck stop and after that we turn right and it should take us there then."
"Mmh… Do we need to fill up then?" Nick continued to rub his neck.
"I think we should, according to the weather report an hour ago more snow is coming, so we might have to adjust the tire pressure as well." Greg gave him an inquisitive stare, before emptying his coffee and getting up.
"Listen Nick, if your neck's too stiff for driving…" Greg stopped abruptly at the hand held up.
"I'm fine, it's nothing." Nick snapped.
"Sure and the moon is green." Greg retorted as he began to pack down the leftovers of their breakfast.
Nick wanted to stomp his feet and yell at the world like a child, but he forced himself to help Greg with the chairs and the table. Five minutes later they were back in the truck and the ‘bear suits' had been shaken free of all snow and returned to the backseat. Nick carefully adjusted the seat and the mirrors, though it was hardly necessary, but he still took his time needing to cool down before driving. Greg moved his seat as far back as possible, reclined it and puffed his pillow against the headrest. Neither spoke as Nick brought the engine to life and pulled out back on the road.
He wanted to tell Greg that he really was doing pretty okay all things considered, but after his little bout of panic he wasn't so sure after all. He wanted to tell Greg that he'd actually been looking forward to spending some time together with him, but he wasn't sure what Greg would say in response. He wanted to tell Greg that his neck was stiff and that it would have been nice with some massage, but that was just way too girly and he was still trying to get over what that woman Sage had told him.
He just wanted to be Nick Stokes, CSI level III, who was good at his job and always able to find closure for the victims. He just wanted to be alive and be loved for who he was. He just wanted a life where it didn't hurt so much, where sleeping wasn't restless nightmares. He wanted his own closure. Next to him Greg had fallen asleep, but the words sure and the moon is green kept echoing in his mind. He had hurt Greg by not talking about how miserable he was and how much he craved physical reassurance. It bothered him that he was so out of control, but according to more than one counselor he needed to let go of his control issues if he wanted to have a good life. As always that was so much easier said than done.
Thirty miles hadn't sounded of much, but two and a half hours later he was more than happy to see the truck-stop. His body was screaming for attention, wanting a toilet, food and exercise. But he figured that he should get the diesel first and then park the truck before taking care of his own needs.
"Greg?" Nick said quietly hoping to wake his sleeping passenger gently. "Greggo?" He increased the volume, but Greg was still breathing relaxed and undisturbed. "Greeeeeeeeeeeeg!" a mumble followed by a yawn and a stretch responded to his annoyed outburst.
"What side is the cap for the gas tank on?" the size of the truck could make it difficult to have the hose reach around if he chose the wrong side.
"Mmmh dwivers." it took Nick a second to translate the mumble to something useful.
"Wake up man, we're at the truck-stop and I need something warm to drink." Nick placed his right hand on Greg's thigh and gave it a shake. The long eyelashes revealed dark glazed eyes for a moment before being turned away into another stretch and yawn.
Nick carefully maneuvered the truck next to the pump; the snow was more of a mental hindrance than a physical one. The brief pause in the snowfall earlier had stopped about an hour before and once again the wind carried a wall of white with it. Nick decided on the ‘bear suit' and quickly donned it before leaving the truck's warm interior. Still yawning, Greg wiggled into his own ‘bear suit' and got out to find a change of clothes, hoping for a quick shower at the truck stop.
"Did the sign say anything about showers?" he had to raise his voice to be heard in the howling wind.
"What sign?" Nick had only seen the logo; everything else was obscured by the snow.
"The sign that indicates what they have here." Greg scanned the grounds and nodded when he saw just how much the snow was obliterating the world.
"Personally I'm hoping for hot cocoa." Nick could already feel the steaming hot mug in his hands loosening his icy fingers.
"Mmh, yeah in this weather coffee looses to hot cocoa anytime." Greg nodded, hugging himself tightly. "If you wanna grab a change of clothes I could take over." he said after a pause and took over the fuel pumping from Nick after a confirming nod.
Five minutes later the truck had been fuelled and parked in what they hoped was the parking lot and they had made their way inside. Shower tickets in the cafeteria. It said under the arrow pointing to the showers. The cafeteria held only 4 truckers and one waitress currently pouring coffee to one of the guests.
"Can I help you?" she flashed them a tired smile.
"Two shower tickets and something warm to drink." Nick smiled back at her while rubbing his hands together.
"Something to eat would be nice too." Greg added looking up at the menu above the counter.
"We've got hot cocoa and pancakes or soup with fresh baked buns." her smile seemed to lighten as she spoke.
"Pancakes." Greg's face lit up by the mere thought and any lingering tiredness was all gone.
"It'll take about 20 minutes before they're ready, you could shower in the meantime." the waitress smiled as she wrote down their order including the fee for the showers.
They made their way to the showers and Greg sighed uncomfortably upon realizing that there were no stalls. It was one big open area with 4 showerheads. He'd always countered his natural shyness with his big mouth, but after the scars had been added to his features he'd only once showered in public, back when he and Sara had been decontaminated.
"Problems?" Nick wasn't a CSI for nothing and had picked up on Greg's obvious discomfort.
"Erhm, scars…" it was barely a whisper and if Greg said more it couldn't be heard.
"We've all got scars." Nick knew his physical ones most likely wouldn't be as bad as Greg's, but he pulled up his pants to reveal what the fire ants and subsequent nightmares had done to his lower legs.
"Are they from … the ants?" Greg hesitated and when Nick nodded, he yanked off his shirt and revealed the strange topology of his upper back.
"They don't look that bad." Nick's quiet words somehow meant more than any reassurance doctors and nurses had bestowed on him in the last 2½ years.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, let's get going, so the cocoa won't get cold." Nick gently shoved him under one of the showerheads and turned it on.
Nick silently wondered why Greg didn't style his hair anymore, but refused to ask, knowing that he might have to explain his moustache then. So when Greg just towelled his hair dry, Nick focused on shaving. He focus was savagely disturbed by a cockroach making its way across the floor. But he knew that as long as he didn't get bitten by fire ants things would be fine, still any bug startled him more than he wanted to let on.
"Eww!" Greg stomped the bug with a foot hastily stuck into its boot. "Grissom may race them, but damn if I'll shower with them." Greg muttered as he guided the dead cockroach to the drain.
"Not a big fan myself." he tried to make light of it.
"Nah we all know that you're a birdman." Greg gave him a reassuring smile, before returning to the task of getting fully dressed.
The mug of cocoa was as warm and soothing as Nick had anticipated; the pancakes were nothing particularly special compared, but they filled his stomach and that was really all he needed.
"Nothing like warm cocoa on a day like this." Greg practically had his nose down in his mug sniffing the fragrant steam rising from the liquid.
"Amen to that." Nick sat with both hands wrapped around the warm ceramic.
"Long time no see." Greg said as he saw a warm genuine smile creep in on Nick.
"Huh?"
"You're smiling… Eh I mean… you… eh…." Greg blushed profusely and felt awkward by the words that had tumbled from his mouth.
Nick's smile morphed into an amused smirk as he tried to come up with an appropriate answer to the obvious compliment. "Guess there's not been that much to smile about lately." the words were quiet and subdued and his eyes locked on the fork he was guiding through the syrup left on the plate.
"Don't let it take control, it… never mind." Greg looked up and put on his goofy smile, balancing his spoon on his nose.
"Bet you five bucks you'll drop it in the cocoa." they were guys after all and not mushy women sitting around all day talking feelings, so Nick took the easy way and bantered back on Greg's stunt.
The spoon dropped to Greg's plate getting itself a nice coat of syrup that was promptly licked off. It took up more of Nick's attention span than he liked to admit, but his eyes couldn't help following the tongue moving up and down the spoon. Greg seemed oblivious to the fact that Nick was staring; in fact Greg was so preoccupied with his spoon that he jumped when the waitress came over and asked if they wanted anything else.
Ten minutes later they left the truck-stop with fresh coffee in the thermos and a selection of candy bought in the adjoining shop. The snow had lessened in intensity while they'd been eating, but there had been no snowplow by just yet. Greg fumbled about to find a good position for sleeping for the first two miles, before he settled. Nick couldn't help but think of a dog trying to get it's bedding right.
Left to his own devices Nick began listing all the things in life that he liked, counting his blessings as his Gramps would've said. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to do so, but suspected that Greg had something to do with it. Cassie was smiling at him when a snowplow crossed the road ½ mile in front of him, going in the same direction as they were headed. A satisfied smile spread on his face upon realizing that driving after the plow would be really easy.
It was easy for about 20 miles and then the snowplow stopped and used a driveway to complete a u-turn, surprising Nick out of his relaxed state following safely behind it. After a moment he recalled having seen a county border on the map earlier when Greg pointed out the route for him. Bracing himself he started driving again, but slower and with more difficulty. Greg slept on, hardly stirring at all. Somehow he'd thought Greg to be the type that would thrash around in his sleep, but then again maybe he used so much energy when awake that he was near dead when sleeping. Nick focused on the road with greater intent, trying to guide his thoughts away from Greg. It wasn't appropriate to be thinking about his colleague that much; years ago he would've been alright with it, back in the days when Greg was the cheerful flirting lab rat.
A beam of light falling across the snow in an odd angle demanded his full attention and as he got closer he saw a car off to the right side of the road. It had clearly spun out and ended up in a position where it would need help to get free. Nick gently shook Greg's shoulder to wake him. "Greg? There's a car in the ditch. Greg?"
A mumble followed by a shudder revealed that Greg had rejoined the conscious of the world.
"We have a winch right?" Nick demanded out of impatience with Greg's slow awakening.
"Hmm yeah sure. Urmph." Greg stretched and yawned before reaching for his ‘bear suit'.
Nick brought the truck to a halt where the snow was riddled with the skid marks from the other vehicle. Greg hopped out and made his way to the other car noticing the baby seat in front and the female driver obviously trying to soothe the baby. He turned back and looked at truck, seeing that Nick had remembered to turn on the hazard lights before leaving the truck.
"Ma'am are you alright?" Greg asked as he approached the driver's side. The woman spun her head and seemed to struggle with the idea that someone was actually there. She cracked her window to enable conversation over the howling wind.
"I'm fine, but he's not." she pointed to her baby and Greg focused on the red faced infant.
"What happened?"
"He's slightly allergic to peanuts and his sister dropped her peanut butter sandwich on the floor and he crawled through it before I could clean it up and we used the last of the meds yesterday and when I wanted to go get more all this snow started and now he's getting worse and I can't get the car out and…" she stopped to take a breath.
"How old is he ma'am?" Nick asked, slightly out of breath.
"10 months, Sir."
"Will cortisone-cream do the trick ma'am?" Nick was mentally going over the meds that he'd been equipped with after his reaction to the fire ants.
"Yes it would, he hasn't ingested it, so his breathing shouldn't be in trouble." her answers sounded like she flew on autopilot.
"I've got some up in the truck ma'am. I'll just get it for ya and then we'll pull ya out afterwards." Nick struggled up the slope while Greg did his best to find out more about the baby's condition.
"How come you know about him having allergies when he's still so young?"
"I've got many and so do his siblings, so they did the umbilical cord test thing." the woman sounded embarrassed like so many others with allergies.
Nick came back with the medicinal salve and carefully applied it to the baby's skin where he'd been exposed to the peanut butter. It took them less than half an hour to get the car back on the road and the young mother drove gratefully on.
"So Nick, how come you've never told me you're allergic?" Greg's curiosity beat his tired body into submission craving an answer.
"They say that if I get bit by fire ants again I might risk a reaction and they stocked me up. Ya know, better safe than sorry." Nick shrugged his shoulders carefully putting his medicine bag back into order after his frantic search.
"Yeah, they gave me a truckload of different painkillers after the explosion and some antidepressants. Some helped, some didn't" Greg sighed and slumped down in his seat.
"Do you think the kid will be alright?" Nick had an unfinished feeling about letting the woman drive on.
"We did what we could. I mean apart from turning around and driving them to the hospital. They'll be fine Nick. Don't worry." Greg suppressed a yawn not yet certain that Nick was good to continue.
"Alright, let's get going then." Nick clenched his jaw and got the car in motion again.
They helped another three vehicles free before they reached the town of the conference. Nick felt tired in a good way and was more than looking forward to checking in at the hotel and hopefully soak in a good long bath before dinner. Greg had woken about an hour before arrival and started talking, wisely choosing to tell about his trip to Iceland and the impressive nature there.
The hotel's parking lot was being kept clear by a tractor so it was easy to park, though they had to go to one of the far corners to find an empty lot. There were busses unloading at the main entrance and people were milling about in the lobby waiting their turn.
"That don't look good." Greg mumbled.
"Nah, but hey we've got reservations, so no worries man." Nick tried to convince them both, but it came out shallow.
"Nicky!" the high pitched scream from a woman could easily be heard over the wind and Nick turned just in time to catch the woman launching herself at him in his arms.
"Emma! God it's good to see your pretty face." Nick hugged the woman tight obscuring her from Greg's view.
"Did you drive all the way from Vegas?" she stood back and looked at Nick then Greg and finally the truck.
"Yeah we did, meet Greg." Nick turned and faced him.
"Greg this is Emma from Philadelphia, another fellow CSI and we go back a long time." Greg extended his hand to the woman in the pink ski suit. She appeared to be his height and not fat, but the clothing obscured any further details.
"Hi Greg, Nick's told me a million stories about you." Greg had never heard about Emma so he chose the safest answer he could.
"Well I hope he didn't scare you off." Greg smiled and nodded politely.
"Nope not at all. Nice truck by the way." she let admiring eyes wander over the Land Cruiser.
"Thanks, we borrowed it from a friend of mine." Greg said proudly while eyeing Nick suspiciously. Nick shook his head ever so lightly and went to the back of the truck.
"Cool, must have made driving fun." Emma was one big smile and Greg started telling her the stats of the truck.
She bent down and made a snowball the moment Nick was out of sight. Greg didn't need any further invitation and followed suit. They attacked simultaneously, surprising Nick, but the Texan countered by tackling Greg and soon the two of them were rolling in the snow with Emma bombarding them with snowballs as fast as she could make them. They hadn't noticed the slope at the far end of the parking lot until they were tumbling down it laughing hard and holding onto each other.
"You're so dead G!"
"Gotta catch me to kill me!" Greg squealed and escaped Nick's hold of him.
"Oh yeah?!" Nick launched after the escaping man, but stumbled as a snowball connected with the back of his head. He went down nose first in the snow letting out a muffled scream. Greg did a 180 when no other noises followed, no longer playful; only concerned for his friend. Emma descended the slope as fast as she could and reached Nick seconds after Greg kneeled down next to the prone form.
"No … air"
Nick was gasping to refill his lungs after a good deal of the air in them had been knocked out by his fall. Greg gently rolled him over to allow for free breathing.
"Sorry Nicky, I never meant to hurt you." Emma sounded close to tears.
"I'm alright." Nick drew another deep breath and extended his hand to Greg.
"Let's check in then." Greg pulled Nick up and waited for him to calm his breathing again.
"Have you checked in yet Emma?" Nick asked slightly out of breath as they were making their way to the lobby carrying their luggage.
"Nah, Rory's got the reservation details and he was asked to stay back in the airport and without thinking he sent me on ahead."
"Why not just call him?" Greg wondered.
"He's incommunicado. Our boss had left him a message at the airport about one of our current cases and his cell is switched off now." Emma shrugged her shoulders.
"What about your luggage?" Nick suppressed a yawn as they entered the lobby.
"With Alec over there." Emma nodded in the direction of a short Asian man with his left leg in a cast and crutches leaning against his chair. Nick gave a curt wave and proceeded towards the line that was at a stand still.
"I booked this room two months ago and now you tell me that I can't have it?!" the pitch of the female voice was much higher than what was comfortable.
"Ma'am…" the receptionist began.
"Don't you ma'am me. I want my room!" her voice was sharp with insult.
"I know and I only...." once again she cut him short.
"You only what? You said I got a single room instead of my double suite. I called two weeks ago to have my reservation confirmed and everything was fine!"
Another hotel employee appeared at the counter. "All those with reservations, please line up on the right. All those without on the left." he boomed with volume great enough to drown out the complaining woman.
They lined up as ordered and found that only few people joined their line. They patiently listened to the receptionist explaining that two busses had been caught in town and needed to install their passengers somewhere for the night and that the last train on its way in would also stop there for the night.
The woman now standing between the two lines continued to whine about having been asked to take a single room, freeing up the bed she didn't need. People were fed up with her, but her intimidating nature made most reluctant to speak up and save the poor receptionist from the hell she was dishing out. Nick was chewing on his lower lip trying to come up with the right words, knowing that she would be worse than most suspects he'd ever sat across from.
"Look lady, you were only asked to show some compassion, not give up your life!" Greg had had enough and stepped up to her, tapping her on the shoulder. She spun around and he was stared down by grey eyes. Taking a deep breath he locked eyes with her.
"It's the principle. And it's none of your fucking business!" she hissed with enough force for him to feel the tiny drips of saliva landing on his face.
"The way you're acting, you're making it everybody's business!" Nick couldn't remember ever hearing Greg shouting in anger at anyone.
"As an American I expect to be treated with respect and get what I've paid for!" Nick visibly shrunk at her high pitched words.
"And that's why we're so despised all over the world" Greg spat furiously.
She huffed angrily and raised her right hand to slap Greg. Before she got the chance to strike Nick caught her hand holding it high as if to show everyone just how mad she was.
"Madam please follow me!" another man in the hotel's uniform had shown up.
"And who might you be?!" her anger only increasing as she yanked her hand from Nick's grip.
"The manager of this establishment, and would you please follow me?" the manager was a burly redhead with freckles on all visible skin. The determination in his voice beat the angry woman's and she followed him, sticking her nose high in the sky.
Greg closed his eyes and sighed while unclenching his fists. Nick patted him on his shoulder making a few soothing sounds. Greg was stiff to his touch and it occurred to Nick that perhaps he was taking up too much of Greg's personal space. A space that often increased with anger for most people and he was breaking new grounds with an angry Greg here; so he eased back leaving the seething man to himself.
"Arhm." the receptionist discreetly tried to gain their attention and they turned to face him simultaneously.
"Sorry about that, Nick Stokes and Greg Sanders from Las Vegas Crime Lab." Nick said calmly and handed him the reservation details.
"Two singles." the receptionist stated after clicking his mouse a few times.
"That's correct." Greg let Nick do the talking, knowing that he was still too upset to be polite.
"Would you mind sharing a single room?" Nick had a quick flash of him and Greg curled up in a bed no more than three feet wide.
"Do you have extra mattresses, I mean a single bed is a bit small …" Nick trailed off as the receptionist pointed to a sign on the desk. New beds for your comfort. Fits 5XL.
"Two small guys like you should have plenty of room. It's actually our old double beds."
Nick gave Greg a searching look and Greg just nodded, not sure how he felt about being called small.
"No problem then." they were given a key card each and headed over to Emma after the receptionist thanked Greg for standing up to the horribly behaved woman.
"What a ruckus she made!" Emma exclaimed. "And you were so good standing up to her Greg. She totally spooked me."
Emma nodded shooing them towards the lifts before she perched herself on the arm of Alec's chair.
"Let's take the stairs." Greg said quietly. Nick just nodded, glad that he didn't have to face the confined space of a lift after all. Not that he would panic or anything, he just preferred the stairs. Their room was on the third floor and they were not the only to take the stairs, there seemed to be people everywhere in the hotel because of the blizzard raging outside.
Nick inserted the keycard and waited patiently for the lock to change to green. He entered and stopped so suddenly that Greg nearly toppled them both over. The room was small like many cheap single rooms and the double bed was cramped into the corner to the right of them. Under the window was the compulsory desk and the small floor space between that and the bed had the bathroom door opening into it.
The stiffened man in front of him spooked Greg, but he figured that it was probably the small room that got to Nick. Another thing that also occurred to him was that perhaps Nick slept on the right side of the bed and that he was uncomfortable with being caught between a wall and another person. Greg dumped his bags on the floor and knelt down on the bed, grabbing the pillows and switching them to the foot of the bed, thus solving the problem.
Nick blinked back to the present at Greg's move and smiled, realizing that Greg didn't need him as much as he needed Greg. "How did you know?" it was a simple and silent question, but it spoke volumes.
"It's no secret that tight spaces aren't your thing and I figured that you probably sleep on that side. I don't mind the wall, so …"
"Thanks G." Nick put his luggage down and sat down on the edge of the bed sighing deeply. Greg sat down too and started to untie his boots, wanting nothing more than to get out of all the heavy clothing and take a shower to wash of that obnoxious woman.
"Hey no problem, is it okay if I take first dibs on the shower?"
"Sure, I'll start unpacking then. Top drawers or bottom?" Nick asked referring to the only dresser in the room.
"Take what suits you Nick, I don't mind." Greg got up and quickly grabbed a change of clothes from his suitcase.
It was unnerving not to hear Greg talking, when he was so close; all he could hear was the water running. It was something so unaccustomed that Nick couldn't focus on his unpacking.
"Are you alright Greggo?" Nick asked knocking on the bathroom door.
"Yeah yeah, I just need to… get her out of my mind I guess." the words were obscured by the running water and Nick hoped that it was only his imagination hearing sobs.
Ten minutes later Greg reappeared wearing his usual bright smile and easygoing nature. He leaned on the doorjamb to the bathroom and looked at Nick, who was setting up the laptops on the desk.
"How come you've never told me about Emma?"
"For all your talking, you've never mentioned Charlotte either." Nick retaliated calmly.
"Nah I know, but … I guess telling your old friends about your new ones are easier, than telling your new friends about your old ones that you only see once a year or so." Greg mused slowly.
"Yeah good point man." Nick swiveled the chair to face him.
"How long do you and Emma go back?"
"To my first forensics conference, I was still in Dallas and green as can be." Nick smiled remembering those days of youth and innocence.
"You're still green Nick!" Greg teased in his old flirtatious style.
"Thanks a million Mr. Kinky." Nick retorted cheerfully.
"I'm not kinky, just open minded. There's a huge difference man!" Greg defended himself with fake insult in his voice.
"So it's just an act huh?" Nick enquired curiously. Greg knew that if he didn't change the subject he would be called upon his lack of experience and he preferred to keep his reputation intact.
"Nah, what's with Emma by the way?" when Nick just gave him a confused frown he continued.
"I mean if I'd been snowball fighting with Charlotte and Frank, it would have been free for all and not two against one. She's our size and yet you didn't touch her, unless she touched you." Nick looked down at Greg's very accurate observation, the fabric of his jeans suddenly more fascinating than anything else.
"She was raped last April." Nick clenched his jaw and looked up at Greg seeing that the smile had faded from his face then dropped his head again refocusing on his jeans.
"It gets worse…" Nick sighed deeply. Greg remained standing listening without moving.
"It was the cop who was assigned to her scene, a simple B&E." Nick began to feel the treacherous tears creeping up on him.
"The one person you should be able to trust more than any." Greg spoke quietly and stepped over to Nick, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Yeah. Sucks." Nick wiped his eyes with his sleeve.
"Sorry G. I shouldn't be laying this on you man." Nick looked up and gave him half a smile.
"Believe it or not, I'm actually a good listener Nick." Greg finished his words with a gentle pat on the hunched over man's shoulder.
"It's alright, I'll just grab a shower G. Don't … "
"I won't tell her that I know. I'm not that stupid." Greg stepped over to the dresser and began to unpack wondering why Nick had left the top drawers for him. The water was still running when he'd finally gotten some order on his clothes; so he sat down to check his emails. There was the almost compulsory mail from Sara, she had taken on the part of big sister long ago and would check up on him when either had the night off.
Hi Greg.
"Internet working?" Greg jumped at Nick's sudden appearance, having been too focused to hear the water stopping.
"Yeah sure. Jeez man don't sneak up on me like that." Greg shook the last of the scare off.
"Sorry, what do you say we go eat?"
"Good idea."
They were halfway towards the staircase when Emma emerged from it dragging her suitcase along.
"Hey did you get your room?" Nick had reverted back to his normal polite mannerism.
"Uh yeah, Rory finally remembered that he'd forgotten and excused himself long enough to call me. I gave him the low down of the situation and we got a nice single room just like you guys." Emma sounded exhausted and slightly winded from the climb.
"Well the bed is the biggest feature, takes up most of the room." Nick chuckled.
"You up for some dinner?"
"Sure, can you order for me?" upon a confirming nod from Nick she continued. "Something that only just stopped saying moo if you please."
"Blood dripping steak for the lady." Nick said as he gracefully bowed to her.
"I'll be down in ten, just need a shower first." Emma inserted her keycard, waved and disappeared inside.
"Ten minutes, is she Sara?" Greg wondered out loud and just got a playful swat to his shoulder in response. "What?!" he tried to sound innocent, but the giggles gave him away.
"She's nothing like Sara! If that's what you wanna know." Nick huffed trying to sound insulted.
"No surprise there, besides the world would be a scary place with two Sara's" Greg made a visible shiver.
"Sure would, and I haven't even been forced to shower with her. Sara that is.. Eh I mean.. eh…" Nick trailed off blushing hard, hating being caught off guard mid banter.
"Are you trying to tell me something here man?" Greg's curiosity sat in full force.
Nick sighed deeply, trying to decide what course to follow with this conversation. "Emma and I connected, so to speak … and things happened, and a shower occurred." he went with honesty, all his experience told him that it was easier and caused less trouble.
"So you got laid." Greg gave him a lopsided smile as they started their descent down the stairs.
"Hey we were young and … and well the whole long distance thing was a bad idea." Nick stopped and turned to face Greg. "It was a long time ago and we went with being friends."
Greg just nodded thoughtfully.
"Cat caught your tongue?" Nick had rarely heard Greg so silent, that usually only happened when he was dared to be silent.
"Huh, no no. Just thinking. Just thinking."
"About what?" Nick started moving down the stairs again as his nose caught a whiff of food. Greg followed still not talking. Just before the bottom he finally spoke up.
"About friends, lovers, old times, you know … stuff."
"What stuff?" Nick's curiosity made him stop again.
"Just stuff Nick, don't worry about it, let's go get a table man."
"Sure." Nick patted him on the back and they resumed moving again towards the restaurant, leaving the serious moment behind.
There were still people crowding the lobby, trying to get a room and the restaurant looked full already. Nick was hoping they wouldn't have to go out to find food when Greg whispered room service.
"Only as a backup plan, the room's so small we'd end up sitting on the bed eating and that's messy." the whining made Greg break out the goof ball smile while he illustrated chewing and spilling food.
Luck apparently still had something left for them and they got a table without too much waiting. The waiter listed the few still available meals and fortunately steak was on the menu. Greg ordered lamb though, still nostalgic with all their talk about Iceland, but Nick chose the steak albeit medium done and not rare like the one he ordered for Emma.
The restaurant was packed and the waiters kept on bringing in more tables and chairs. The noise level made it hard for any private conversation to take place, yet many people tried and Greg had a hard time not listening.
"Why do people think nobody listens?" Greg leaned in close to ask without any but Nick hearing him.
"Because they reckon everybody is as intent as them on their own conversation, besides it's not polite to eavesdrop like that." Nick lectured fiddling with his water glass.
"Not eavesdropping here, just sitting in a public place and not talking." Greg's attempt to look innocent morphed into a smirk.
"You're impossible G."
"Oh here you are." Emma took the vacant chair, neither man getting up to pull it for her, mostly because it would take several people getting up.
"Yeah it's getting really crowded here." Nick acknowledged.
"Oh and you were so right about the bed being the biggest feature, there's hardly room to mo.." Emma stopped abruptly as the waiter arrived with their food.
Greg ate and listened to Nick and Emma updating each other on recent cases. He wasn't sure what to say and knew that being nervous would make him babble, so he opted for silence.
"You okay there G?" Nick gently touched his forearm as if to bring him out of a zone.
"Fine, just listening to you guys." Greg refocused on his lamb chops and vegetables.
"So Nick did you manage to catch Brokeback after all?" Emma said as casually as if it was just any old movie.
"Hmm yeah a couple of weeks later, I just forgot to tell you the next time we talked."
"How about you Greg, have you seen it?" Emma turned her attention to him.
"Ye-yes I have." he was still trying to get over the fact that Nick had seen it and alone apparently.
"So what did you guys think of it?" Emma asked enthusiastically. Greg cast a glance at Nick trying to gauge his reaction to the revelation.
"I loved it and I was glad you'd warned me about…." Nick had lowered his voice considerably, obviously aware of the controversy the movie had caused.
"Strongest love story I've ever seen." Greg stated quietly.
They began discussing the movie. It didn't surprise Greg that Nick had cried his eyes out after leaving the theater. Nick however was very curious about his reactions making Greg feel like a suspect for a brief moment. He soon discovered that Emma was even worse in her pursuit for knowledge.
"Alright, alright enough, yes there were tears. Now can I go?" there was no mockery in the words only a true desire to get off the hook.
"Hey relax man, I already copped to crying my eyes out. So did you see it alone?" Nick held his hands up in a surrendering posture.
"Yeah, I was supposed to see it as a part of a date, but we didn't even make to the main course."
"At least you didn't have to suffer through hours of meaningless small talk then." Emma emphasized the word hours and rolled her eyes.
"No but, it was kind of disappointing you know." Greg recalled the brunette that he'd asked on the date with sadness.
"Many dates are, there's so much bullshit about how a date a supposed to be, that most people are way too uptight to enjoy themselves on a date." Emma stated.
Nick had a feeling that a new subject was needed and he began to ask more about Iceland. They talked about the unique island until they had finished their meal. They didn't linger over the food, knowing that many other people were waiting to eat as well. Nick, politely as ever, invited Emma to join them, but she declined claiming correctly that they all needed a good nights sleep.
After returning to the room there was hardly a word spoken and fifteen minutes later they settled down for sleep, Greg practically glued to the wall with his down comforter pulled tightly around him and Nick as close to the edge as he deemed safe. The light in the bathroom had been left on and the door ajar on Nick's request. Greg really didn't mind, working nights had him accustomed to sleeping in a light environment.
Nick was exhausted after having driven all day, but his mind was still busy dealing with all that had been said during the day and evening. He wanted to ask Greg who the date had been, but knew that it was none of his business and would only serve to insult if asked. There were so many things he wanted to talk about, but he'd been raised to suck it up and be a man. His current therapist fought hard to make him open up, but it wasn't easy.
He turned over so he was facing Greg. Silently admiring every feature on the face before him, softened by the longer un-styled hair.
"You sleeping?" Nick whispered, not sure what to say if Greg was still awake.
"Trying to, why?" came the equally quiet reply.
"Just… no reason, ‘night." Nick flipped back onto his other side.
"Once upon a time there was a rich man who lived happily for a long time with his wife. Together they had a single daughter. Then the woman became ill, and when she was lying on her deathbed, she called her daughter to her side, and said, "Dear child, I must leave you now, but I will look down on you from heaven. Plant a little tree on my grave, and when you want something, just shake the tree, and you shall get what you want. I will help you in time of need. Just remain pious and good." Then she closed her eyes and died. The child cried, and planted a little tree on her mother's grave. She did not need to carry any water to it, because her tears provided all the water that it needed."
Greg continued with his perfect recital of ‘Cinderella' until Nick was breathing softly clearly asleep. He wasn't sure what Nick wanted, for a man usually wearing his emotions on his sleeve, Nick was sending out very mixed signals. Signals that had become more confusing after Kelly Gordon's suicide. So he'd opted for his favorite fairytale, hoping that if Nick wanted something else he would stop him and ask for it.
His ability to remember had made it easy in school and gotten him the good grades, but he had caught a lot of flack for it by those who'd struggled hard in school. He snapped out of the memories and looked at the sleeping man in front of him. A man that he had watched and admired for years, but also a man that had been thrown many a hard punch and bounced back repeatedly. Only now it seemed as if he had been knocked so much off balance that the bouncing back had yet to happen.
Greg lost himself to a myriad of thoughts and was close to sleep when he heard someone pelting down the hallway and stopping at their door. "It's me Emma!" the panicked voice was accompanied by a frantic knocking and Greg bolted from the bed to get the door before Nick woke.
He flung the door open and bit back any sound. The dishevelled look of the woman wrapped in a blanket told its own story and he gently ushered her inside. Nick had managed to get out of the bed and opened his arms to Emma, who stepped into the embrace and sniffled a recount of the nightmare. Greg climbed back into bed leaving Nick to take care of Emma.
Nick held her tight while whispering soft words of comfort. Years of being on call had taught him to wake in an instant when necessary and now was certainly one of those moments. Forgetting his own trouble, he carefully talked Emma down to a more coherent state.
"Can I stay with you guys?" the plea one of those he couldn't bear to turn down.
Greg lay flush against the wall awake but not interrupting. He gave an accepting nod and Nick laid down again moving to the middle of the bed. He made sure to leave plenty of room between Emma and him, which meant that he and Greg got to share only one half of the bed.
"Tell it again." Greg couldn't hide a small smile at Nick's request and he started his second recital of Cinderella for the night.
He was pretty sure that Nick was asleep before the ball and Emma made soft snoring sounds by the lost glass slipper. Greg wanted to roll onto his back, but he didn't want to disturb Nick and with a sigh he remained on his side hoping for sleep to come soon. His thoughts wandered again and in the middle of his favorite fantasy about solving the crime of the century Emma started thrashing about.
It wasn't until after he'd reached across and grabbed her shoulder that he remembered he shouldn't be touching her. But as he attempted to withdraw his hand Emma grasped it hard.
"Did I wake you?" she panted, trying hard to pretend not to be scared.
"Nah, I slept most of the day, so it's kinda hard falling asleep now." Greg spoke softly to avoid waking Nick and to soothe her panic.
Emma sighed deeply and hugged his hand tight enough to leave marks. His arm was bent in a tiring angle since he didn't want to wake Nick and Emma didn't want to let go.
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
"It's always the same, I'm focused on something when suddenly pain takes over and …" Emma struggled with the words until her throat was too thick for speaking. Greg just nodded and hoped that she felt safe lying in the same bed as them. He let his thumb gently caress her shoulder through several layers of fabric, as far as he could tell she was wearing a t-shirt underneath her pyjamas and had an extra blanket under the cover.
"It's weird…" Emma took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she exhaled. Then opening them again as she began to speak. "I have nights, erh… days where I sleep like a baby and then suddenly wham, I'm right back in April on that scene and it plays out all over again." she looked at him with eyes searching for help. "He has told you, hasn't he?" Emma asked suddenly.
"He has." the quiet confirmation was some of the more painful words he'd ever had to utter.
"The trial was last month and the nightmares came back with a vengeance. I mean he's behind bars and is to remain there for a long time, yet I seem to be more afraid of him now than before." the words came out between quiet sniffles and he continued stroking his thumb over the little part of her shoulder he could reach.
"I don't know what to say. But I'll listen if you need to talk." Greg was desperately wracking his brain for the golden words, those that would make everything better. But he was more than aware that they didn't exist, time was the cure just like it had been for him after the explosion.
Emma closed her eyes and let out a shaky sigh. "I've talked this to death!" she hissed.
She did talk, but not about the rape. Mostly they talked weird cases, trying to beat each other on that.
"He's beautiful." Emma stated after a brief silence. Greg followed her eyes to Nick's sleeping form, where his arm now rested, and didn't think before he nodded.
"Yeah. I've always preferred brunettes." Greg said fondly, knowing that he'd been busted.
"Did he tell you that we… ehm… that we in our youth had a…. a brief moment together?" Emma staggered through the words, clearly embarrassed.
"Yup. Not a bad choice eh?" the flirtatious smile played across his face and Emma mirrored it.
"Nope, but it wouldn't have worked in the long run. I would've used him. I'm hard on my partners." She finished off with a yawn.
Emma released his hand and he slowly let it fell to the mattress, his elbow too tired to work properly and retrieve his arm fully. Nick, who'd been on his back while they'd talked, rolled on to his side thus facing Emma. Greg wondered how the Texan had managed to stay asleep during their whole séance, when his arm was stolen once again. In his sleep Nick grabbed it and snuggled closer to Greg.
Emma whispered good night and turned her back to them. He considered his options, but Nick tugged his arm harder whenever he tried to pull it back. With a deep sigh Greg settled around Nick, giving up all hope of sleeping on his back. His old fantasy about taking Nick to bed did not involve them both dressed in t-shirts and pyjama bottoms, or a woman for that matter.
Nick woke slowly, trying to recognize his surroundings and the unfamiliar smells. He cracked an eye not seeing much but covers. His brain started to connect the dots and he figured that he was lying between Greg and Emma, more accurately Greg was spooned around him and Emma was so far on the edge that he'd have to stretch his arm to reach her. Not only was Greg spooned around him, but he was clinging on to Greg's arm like a leech.
He carefully listened, hearing two sets of relaxed breathing, realizing that he was the only one awake. The right thing to do would be to untangle himself from Greg, but it felt so good and safe lying snuggled up close. Safe was not exactly something that happened to him a lot, so stealing a little safety from Greg could easily be explained if he got caught.
"Hey baby." his mother greeted as she pushed open the door. The doctors had promised that he could go home today. Upon hearing that, his parents had left him with his sister and her husband while they went shopping. He knew that he would end up donating most of it, because his mother was still mentally shopping for 7 children.
"Hey mom." his voice was nearly back to normal, no longer hoarse and throaty.
"Have they signed your release form Pancho?" his father inquired. But before Nick was able to answer a doctor came in to look him over one final time. An hour later he was wheeled out of the hospital, hoping not to have to go back any time soon. The drive home was longer than he remembered and his mother kept telling him about all the stuff that she had bought for him.
His place seemed off when he walked in through the door, like it wasn't his anymore.
"Is there anything I can get for you baby bro?" his sister, the youngest of them, stepped in preventing their mother from continuing her rant.
"I'm tired, I'd… I think I need some sleep." Nick felt like his body was ten times heavier than normal and he dragged his feet to the bedroom.
The nap had worked wonders even though his mother had bought new sheets and washed them with a different detergent than his usual one, making his bed appear strange. It had been so many years since he'd moved out from his parents that even his mother's cooking in his place smelled wrong.
Congregated around the table the talk fell on all the innocent topics that his family could muster; until his sister breached a topic that'd never been tolerated much at home.
"You shouldn't be alone like this Nicky baby."
"Your sister's right Pancho." his father took his mother's hand and caressed it for demonstration.
"Yeah well, it's just not as easy as that." Nick said quietly, not sure where the conversation were headed.
"We know baby." his mother brought her free hand up and caressed his cheek.
"Nicky it doesn't have to be the perfect southern girl and the house with the white picket fence." his sister added.
"That black fella' seems to care a lot about you baby." with that statement his mother ended the conversation. Nick tried to grasp the whole idea of just being able to choose freely, something that wasn't accepted in the Stokes family normally.
"Pancho, is there anything you want us to get you, before we head home?" his father asked him like nothing extraordinary had just happened.
"Is Emma still sleeping?" Greg's quiet whisper startled him back to the present, making him clutch the captive arm even harder.
"Ye-yes she is." Greg gave him a squeeze and he relaxed his death grip on the arm, but Greg didn't move it.
"Good, she had a pretty bad nightmare after you fell asleep." Greg's warm breath wafted over his neck carrying each word to his ear.
"I never noticed." for once he'd been out cold and slept through without waking bathed in a sheen of fear induced sweat.
"Nah, you were flat on your back, didn't even blink once." he didn't have to turn to see that Greg was smiling.
"Eh… sorry." Nick gave Greg's hand a gentle squeeze.
"That's alright, we all … it's okay Nick, really it doesn't matter." Greg's voice wavered. Still holding onto the hand Nick turned and faced his friend. "I reached across you to wake her from her nightmare. We talked and then after a while you stole my arm." Greg spoke fast like he often did when he felt the need to justify his actions. "Listen man, we all need some TLC from time to time." Greg spoke so softly that Nick wanted nothing more than just curl up and cry his heart out.
"Yeah and some … safety." Nick nearly choked on the last word.
"I hate to break this mushy moment, but I've got to go." Greg gave him an embarrassed smile as he nodded towards the bathroom.
They disentangled with the clumsiness that follows from having slept in the same position for too long. Nick chuckled as he watched Greg stumble to the bathroom on stiff legs. He began flexing his muscles to ease the stiffness and hopefully he'd be able to make a more graceful exit for the bathroom when Greg was done. Emma had turned and ended in a snoring pose, he rolled over and watched her draw in a noisy breath, thinking how much she and Greg had in common.
Greg sank down on the toilet, giving up the idea of standing on his still very unresponsive legs. His head was spinning with emotions running wild. Nick hadn't freaked; instead he'd talked about safety, as if it was something that Greg could give him. Rubbing his temples he reached for the bottle of water he'd forgotten on the sink last night and emptied it greedily. Thinking was hard on the body, especially when it involved big emotions. It was so rare for him to get angry that it usually shocked him more than any bystanders.
His part was the happy jester or the eager apprentice and on occasion the silent listener. He knew those parts back to front and he liked them, they were good for covering up the ever lurking feeling of uncertainty. A snore brought him out his zone and back to getting ready for the first day of the conference. On a second and more important note, Nick would more than likely also need a trip to the toilet.
When he emerged from the bathroom Nick was standing out on the floor stretching like a drowsy cat, with lazy moves. Greg swallowed, willing his eyes not to linger and imagine what the scene would look like with Nick undressed. Nick had flashed his chest and arms enough over the years for him to know perfectly well anyway. Jacqui had called it her private arm porn collection the first time she had directed his eyes towards Nick and Warrick changing shirts to go to court. He'd nodded dumbly, too shocked to speak at the time and she'd nudged him in side with some comment about it being a woman-thing.
"What time is it?" Greg couldn't resist the urge to stretch as well, but hoped that his question would cover up the obvious mirror movement.
"Only a little after five. But then again it wasn't even eleven before we went to bed was it?" Nick rubbed his cheeks hard enough to leave them reddish.
"Nope, we crashed, well you crashed pretty early." Greg smirked and moved to the wardrobe to pick an outfit. Nick leaned against the dresser like he wanted to say something, but remained silent for ages.
"Greg I… I'm sorry, I shouldn't have … I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything, I don't know why I did it. I just..." Greg couldn't bear to hear Nick ramble on like he'd done something wrong, but he was clueless as how to tell him that. In the end he opted for a hand closing Nick's mouth effectively cutting off more words.
"There's nothing to be sorry about man. We're humans, remember, pack animals. Living alone is not natural and we all seek the company of peers on some level." he slowly brought his hand down as he spoke. Nick closed his eyes and bowed his head in what Greg hoped to be acknowledgement of his words.
With a deep sigh Nick looked up again focusing on the brown eyes in front of him. Greg was right as always, but he still felt the need to excuse having imposed on Greg like that. It was so deeply imbedded in his manners that it was hard to see past, and a year ago he wouldn't have been able to. The team had liberated him from his kidnapper, but his parents had set him truly free, allowing him to pursue life the way he wanted.
"Theory is one thing G, not all people … not all people can deal with the practical side of things ya know."
"I know. But you also know me, right?" Greg's eyes showed a hint of uncertainty through all the concern that just oozed from him.
And Nick did feel oddly comforted by Greg's words so he nodded showing his acceptance of their nightly cuddle. Emma kept snoring in the background, something she'd also done back when he'd first met her and slept with her. It made him smile and Greg was never one to miss an opportunity to smile so he joined in. With the guilt gone, Nick picked a fresh change of clothes from his drawers and headed for the bathroom. Greg was still mulling over what to wear when he closed the door and he fought down the urge to make a comment on it. Most men he'd ever gotten to know had a female streak of some kind; Greg's was fashion and the ability to remember the oddest things. Nick stripped and turned on the water, cautiously stepping under the spray.
As the warm water relaxed his body, his brain sprinted off in a million different directions. The last year had held so many new things for him, that he was constantly playing catch up never really feeling fully present. And now there was Greg added to every thought, making him feel even more behind, but also more present than ever before. It wasn't the first time that Greg had haunted his thoughts, but he'd always put it off as not worth going there.
Nick reached out for his shampoo, when he remembered that he hadn't brought it in with him, cursing he blinked the water from his eyes and noticed one of those highly expensive shampoos that you can buy for a fortune at the fancy stylists. It could only be Greg's. Nick popped the lid and sniffed the content, it was un-perfumed and he recognized the smell as vaguely Greg. A smile sneaked across his face as he realized that Greg had become a CSI body and soul, no longer disturbing his sense of smell with hair products.
If it hadn't been for the two people in the other room, he'd been singing in the shower. Instead he just settled for thinking and washing. In the beginning when he'd first felt an attraction toward Greg, he'd told himself that it was a bad idea. Because Greg worked in the DNA-lab they would risk being accused of favoritism, and that could easily get cases thrown out of court. After Greg transferred to the field, it would have been a bad idea because he was the teacher and Greg the pupil.
Rinsing the shampoo off it dawned on him that he'd always reasoned himself out off getting involved with anybody. There had always been a reason to hold back, even when it'd been someone that his parents would have loved. He turned the faucet over to cold and stood fast as the water chilled him to the bone. Not sure what that would achieve, he turned off the water and dried off quickly.
Greg was typing on his laptop when he emerged from the bathroom and Emma was lying on her back staring up at the ceiling.
"Good thing this is a hotel and not my old apartment with its micro water tank." Greg joked as he shut the lid of his laptop and grabbed his clothes.
"Hey not so fast, I need to take a piss first." Emma said bluntly and jumped out of bed. Greg looked after her stunned to silence.
Nick couldn't help but blush as he spoke. "She's always been pretty direct."
"You can say that again." Greg snorted and sat back in the chair.
"Don't worry it'll get worse as the days go by." Nick chuckled while he packed away his dirty clothes. Greg groaned in response knowing he was in for a fierce competition for Nick's attention in the days to follow. It shouldn't have bothered him, but Nick had crawled back under his skin sometime in the autumn.
"I can imagine that." he huffed.
"Sure you can, what time was breakfast again? I'm pretty hungry." Nick changed the subject again and he almost laughed out loud, but thought better of it.
"It says from six thirty till nine on the info sheet." he pointed to the sheet placed next to the phone. Nick checked the time and sighed when Emma flushed the toilet.
"Eh guys, I don't think I brought my keycard."
A short and thorough search proved her right. A call to her room revealed that Rory hadn't shown up yet. For all her tough talk she became very subdued when she figured that it would take a trip past the reception to gain access to her room again. After some back and forth Nick got her to put on his sweats and escorted her down to the reception. Greg headed for the bathroom feeling a foolish relief of not having Emma there while he showered.
He was putting on his socks when Nick returned.
"You ready for some breakfast? The whole lobby is a feast of bacon grease." Nick rubbed his hands together in anticipation.
"Yup, just let me get my shoes. Emma got a new keycard without problems?" he looked up at Nick who just gave him a confirming nod.
"Emma will meet us downstairs; she said she needed some time to herself." Nick told him on the way out of the door.
"Sure. Anyway she's got plenty of time before the first event." Greg had memorized the schedule and with the risk of being compared to Grissom, he started a rant about what they would attend during this the first day. Because that way he could ignore Nick and all things Nick for at least a little while.
The restaurant was already buzzing with people and they joined the line slowly moving past the breakfast buffet. Greg quickly recognized the stacks of pancakes and waffles along with the trays of bacon and sausages. A waft of citrus told him where to find the fruit and he could hear his trainer loud and clear, eating right is half the training.
With a deep sigh he passed by all the greasy stuff and went for the sugar free yoghurt and added oatmeal and fruit to the mixture before heading for the coffee. It would be alright to indulge in the buffet for one day only, but not five, according to his trainer. He saw that Nick, otherwise known as Mr. Beefcake, heaped pancakes on his plate like he'd never be served another. For a moment he wished he hadn't taken up Muay Thai, but then again he liked his new stronger body.
Nick gave his plate a curious look when they sat down.
"Before you ask." Greg held up a warning hand. "I do Muay Thai and I don't want to mess up what I've achieved so far."
"Yeah you mentioned that. I know I shouldn't be eating like this, but living like a saint ain't my style." Nick was busy with covering his pancakes in syrup making it difficult for him to sink the spoon into his healthy helping of breakfast.
"Then you could at least stop looking like one." Greg muttered under his breath.
"I heard that." Nick held up a syrup glistening fork in mock warning. "I just can't help my natural good looks."
"Show-off, knowing you you'll spend hours on the treadmill here." Emma scolded him as she balanced her plate and juice trying to hook the vacant chair out with her foot. Nick's cheeks colored and Greg pointed at him with his spoon.
"Busted!"
They spent the breakfast trying to get the better of each other verbally and Greg learned that Emma's way of thinking wasn't far from his own and more than once they left Nick staggering behind. Emma convinced Greg into having a Danish and went to get the desired pastry.
"So Nick, you up for a trip to the gym later?"
"Guys, guys have you heard it?" Emma's enthusiastic voice broke in, making several other people turn their attention to her as well as them.
"Heard what?" Greg asked with curiosity building in his system, making his heart beat faster.
"That at least three of the lecturers for today aren't coming, because of the snow!"
Emma was balancing her plate with the pastries trying to reclaim her chair, but two more people had sat down at the table behind her chair making it more than difficult. The scene slowed down as she fell and Nick caught the plate and Greg got a lapful of woman. Greg couldn't help but laugh as he tried to maneuver the sprawled out Emma up from his lap. It wasn't made easier by her throwing a laughing fit as well and people trying to get up, crashing chair-backs into each other. After a few chaotic moments everybody was back in their rightful places and pastries were passed out by Nick.
The rumor had not been all wrong, but the organizers extended some of the events and they started at 10 am as originally intended with a ‘trust your partner' exercise. It should have just been a short lecture on the importance of keeping everybody working a case up to date, one that Nick had heard too many times lately. Instead it became a partner race.
There had been marked a giant maze with crime scene tape, what else, while they'd been given the lecture and a short introduction to the exercise. Each team consisted of two, preferably from the same PD, where one was blindfolded and the other fitted with very effective earplugs. The goal was to complete the maze, switch handicap and backtrack. Nick started with the blindfold and was led to one side of the room and told to wait for his partner.
It was almost too much for Nick being blinded, dark memories lurked ready to seize his brain in panic. He felt his skin go moist and started to count backwards, the last thing he needed was falling apart in front of everybody congregated for the conference.
"Nick, you ready?" Greg couldn't hear himself speak and was obviously trying to control his voice, making it sound like it came from a can.
Nick struggled to loosen his thoughts from the fear roaming his mind. A hand gently closed around his upper arm and he leaned forward to sniff the person touching him. The hand and the smell were familiar enough for him to relax and nod that he was ready. Greg took his right hand and the canned voice instructed him to follow suit. He stumbled for balance when Greg turned right and tugged his arm closer, Greg mumbled something about the maze being too narrow for them to walk side by side. Nick wanted to help find a solution but he was literally grasping at straws in the dark.
The familiar strong, slender hands guided him until he was standing behind Greg and had his hands on the narrow hips in front of him. Greg's loud voice kept up a running commentary of what he did and why. Somehow the dark became more bearable with Greg right there for guidance and he found it almost easy to follow Greg through the maze. Having his hands on Greg's hips made it easy for him to know when to move what leg and also when to turn accordingly to the rotation in Greg's hips.
They fell into a good rhythm, but Nick had no idea if they were fast or slow, nor how far they were. So when Greg stopped and told him that it was time for them to switch, confusion had him fumbling forever with the blindfold. Greg did a little show of the blind the moment he donned the blindfold and Nick couldn't help but laugh, a laughter that took the tension of the enforced darkness with it.
The earplugs blocked out all sounds and once again he felt uncomfortable being close to Greg but not hearing him. He helped Greg into the same position as he'd been in before and hoped that he could guide them just as well as Greg had. The maze was not really a maze, more an intricate path lined out with the tape. Like Greg had done for him, he kept telling him what direction to turn and approximately how many steps straight ahead.
Greg followed his moves easily and Nick felt proud. He was proud because he hadn't panicked when wearing the blindfold and he'd been able to hand over all control to Greg. His therapist would probably nod appreciatively of it, but tell him that five minutes didn't change all that much. He would argue that at least he'd trusted Greg completely for those five minutes and as he was figuring out his therapist's counterpoint, Greg moved his right hand up and down in a gentle caress pulling him from his thoughts.
"I'm okay." he whispered or well hoped he whispered, judging the level of his voice without being able to hear it freely was more than difficult. Greg rested his hand again but not before he'd done a thumb up. Once again Greg had seen right through him and even though he'd known for long that Greg was pretty clever when it came to people, he'd never really appreciated it and certainly never told Greg. The hand moved again and he focused on getting them to the finish line, not wanting to worry Greg again.
Nick looked around and saw that they were far ahead of all the others and his old competitive self upped the pace. Greg followed without difficulty, only once in a left turn did he sense a slight loss of balance. With his hearing gone his sense of smell increased and revealed that he had come pretty close to a panic attack after all. Sweat induced by fear was the worst kind and he'd woken to it enough times to recognize it and know that he needed a shower and a fresh change of clothes to lose that awful stench. Fortunately for him their lunch break was a full hour and he couldn't wait to have that shower.
"Congratulations Las Vegas." the woman who was in charge of the exercise received them at the finish line and shook both their hands. Nick grabbed Greg on the shoulder and gave him a victorious squeeze. Greg just broke out the biggest grin he possessed over their good start to the week.
They spent about half an hour to evaluate the exercise before lunch was announced. Nick did his best to distance himself from anybody after the initial craze of having won. Greg gave him a couple of curious glances but refrained from saying anything. They were asked to explain what their actions had been and Nick had nudged Greg in the side to have him tell, knowing just how much the younger man loved to enthrall an attentive audience.
Lunch was declared ready and before he could tell Nick to go change the Texan sprinted off towards their room.
"What's with him?" Emma asked puzzled.
"I think he needs some privacy." Greg said diplomatically, not wanting to give Nick away. It was one thing that he knew Nick had come close to a panic attack because of a blindfold, but it didn't need to go further than that.
"What for? Did he get horny over winning or what?" Emma's blunt speak was still something he had to get used to, but a naughty wink with an eye got her off his case.
They made their way towards the restaurant that had been divided into two separate areas, one for those attending the conference and one for the regular guests. Rory had caught up with them after having detoured to toilet.
"Hey what happened to Stokes?" Greg hadn't really heard the man speak before and was surprised that a man looking so much like a homeboy spoke with a clipped Oxford British accent.
"He just went up to the room, guess he forgot something." Emma shrugged her shoulders and guided them towards a table with 4 vacant chairs.
Greg let his curiosity run free and asked Rory about the case that had kept him at the airport all night. The man was more than happy to share and it was so interesting that he jumped in surprise when Nick grabbed him by the shoulder.
"You just gonna run your mouth all day or can we get some chow?" Nick drawled.
"Jeez man you trying to kill me here?" Greg hated the squeak in his voice, but since it was Nick all was forgiven and forgotten before he got up.
Sensing that Nick was still somewhat out of it, Greg began talking about the salad bar and all the perks of eating the right things. He didn't want Rory to question Nick unless he was certain that Nick was up for it. It wasn't until the pineapple pieces that Nick mumbled a simple thank you. After returning to the table the conversation turned to the coming lectures in the afternoon on Emma's initiative.
Greg was busy taking notes during the afternoon's lectures, even though he knew most of the stuff, but he liked to get all the details down. Every now and then he would cast a glance at Nick just to make sure that he was alright. The object of his worry seemed fine and gave him a reassuring smile whenever their eyes met. He'd noticed on more than one occasion that Emma too was checking up on Nick and he hoped that Nick wouldn't throw a fit over their obvious concern.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, this concludes the program for today. Before you run off, the hotel manager has asked me to inform you that dinner will be served at seven and eight for us. So we have to divide into two groups."
A general din broke out at the news and it took a while for the man named Philip to reclaim their attention again. The division was done by room number and they ended up in the same group as Emma and Rory. Philip went on about the local shops and their opening hours, clearly a mandatory announcement and Greg couldn't help laughing.
"Mr. Sanders?"
"Yes?" Greg faced the woman whom Nick recognized as Rita Jamieson, one of the organizers.
"You used to be a DNA tech right?"
"Sure, why?"
"Are you familiar with Professor Markham's latest work?"
"Yeah, and looking forward to his presentation of it come Friday."
"Could we have a word in private Mr. Sanders?"
Greg sought his approval with a single glance and Nick felt the rebellious child in him protest, but before he could say anything Emma spoke up with a plea.
"Take me shopping Nicky, I'm dying to try that truck of yours."
"I'm not carrying any books for you Em, last time I ended up paying for 20 pounds of overweight just because you don't know when enough is enough." Rory held up a warning index finger, but Emma just tilted her head and fluttered her eyes.
Rory threw up his arms in mock surrender and Greg doubled over laughing holding up a hand to let Rita know that he needed a second before following her.
"Nick drives, it's a big truck and I don't want you hurting it or anybody with it, without knowing how it handles." Greg said wiping tears from his eyes. Emma responded with a pout.
"Greg's right Emma. I'm glad I got to try it on a deserted road at first. You can drive back from the bookstore though." he took her hand and dragged her towards the staircase, figuring that she too would like some warmer wear for going out into the still raging weather.
For once the staircase was deserted and Emma slowed down forcing him to turn and face her.
"It was the blindfold, wasn't it?"
"Yeah." Nick looked down on the step that he was standing on, gathering the courage to face Emma again.
"Aftershave…. Whenever I smell the cheap shit he wore, I'm ready to puke my guts up." she started to move up the stairs again and Nick realized that she had never before talked about her panic triggers.
"Ants, cramped spaces and being pinned down don't really do it for me either." he admitted shyly. Emma sighed deeply and it lasted five steps before she spoke again.
"Figures. It's actually smells that bothers me the most. But I'll admit that being touched is still not easy."
"Everyday things…." Nick huffed with irritation.
"Amen to that and the worst is that people have no idea. I tried to explain it to my sister, but she just kept hugging me saying that it was gonna be alright once I'd talked."
Nick knew only too well the deal with people claiming to listen, but at the same time being so caught up in offering comforting words that they really didn't hear a damn thing. "That's just so typical. But they mean well, ya know. They just don't have a clue."
"Greg seems to have."
"Getting blown up helps, I guess."
Emma just nodded and both fell silent.
The book shop that was the object of Emma's desire, and his for that matter, was of course located across town. The snow made the relatively small town seem big and it took them a full hour from deciding to go to actually entering the shop. Nick headed straight for the travel section, wanting all they had about Iceland and puffins.
"You know where to find me." Emma said before whisking off in another direction.
"Yeah, unfortunately."
If anyone thought Greg was bad in regards to porn, they hadn't met Emma. Nick had nearly died when she'd first told him about her fascination with gay-porn and gay erotic stories. Her collection of fiction starring two men was impressive and she took every opportunity she could to increase it. Initially after her rape, he was certain that she would lose the interest, but it had only increased.
Nick scanned the titles and almost cried out in joy when he realized that they were sorted alphabetically by country. His local book shop in Las Vegas had no order of any kind so he tended to take his business elsewhere, mostly the internet. There were three books on Iceland, after a quick glance he discarded one, but held onto the other two as he went in search of the ornithology section. At least he hoped to find one so he could find out if Greg was right on the whole pufflings thing.
"Can I help you Sir?" a lisping male voice asked. Nick had heard someone walking up behind him, so he turned calmly and plastered on a smile.
"Do you have any books on Puffins, North Atlantic…"
"Certainly, follow me." the clerk seemed to perk up by the thought of puffins and continued.
"I have one featuring only the puffin and then three general ones on North Atlantic birds. There are also some history books about the Eldfeld eruption in 1973 and the Westmanna islands in general. They all mention the puffin in one way or another."
"Sounds interesting. A friend of mine claims that their offspring is called pufflings, but I was pretty sure it was pifflings and now I just wanted to find out for sure." the clerk smiled widely as he steered them through the shop.
"Pufflings, definitely pufflings. But hey mistakes like that occur all the time. Are you interested in Iceland as well or just the birds?" as any good salesman he was testing the ground for potential of a bigger sale.
Nick had spent a good deal of the afternoon trying not to daydream about going to Iceland with Greg, so he could hardly claim no interest at all. "I was hoping to get time off to go in August. It should be the best time for seeing the pufflings right?"
"Oh absolutely! I was there 10 years ago with my Aunt and Uncle and it was just awesome seeing so many birds all at once. Do you travel much Sir?" the lisping worsened as the man got excited and Nick had to concentrate to understand him.
"Not as much as I'd like, but hey that's just work keeping me busy." Nick replied as the clerk started heaping books on top of the two he'd already gotten.
Ten minutes later the clerk left him at a table with thirty odd books to choose from. As he thumbed through the books and heard Emma discuss homosexuality with the clerk, he fell in love with the idea of going to Iceland. A little sliver of his old self did what it could to talk him out of it and more specifically of going there with Greg. Lost in thought, Nick failed to hear Emma calling for him and nearly jumped out of his skin when she gave him a tap on the shoulder. Swallowing any profanities, he gathered both himself and the books he wanted while she began babbling about the books that she had found in this ‘little piece of heaven‘. It took him a few seconds to realize that she meant the shop.
At the counter he noticed a shiny cover sitting on a shelf behind the clerk, a closer inspection revealed a Testarossa in white. A flashback of his teenage years watching Miami Vice and Greg's incessant ramblings about that same car made Nick feel all mushy. There could be no question about it; he had to have that book. Emma was still so engrossed with her finds that she failed to comment his purchases. In fact she didn't stop talking until he dangled the car keys in front of her nose.
She took the nearest detour once she got comfortable with the truck. Nick recognized her excitement as very like Greg's and suddenly he found himself comparing the two again. Greg had truly hijacked his mind and he wondered was there really any good reason to deny it? Emma let the tip of her tongue sit visibly between her lips as she focused on her driving, the same way he'd seen Greg do countless times when he was analyzing samples.
"So Nicky my man, does Greg know about your schoolboy crush on him?" Emma asked as bluntly as ever.
After the initial shock effect that had him coughing he tried to string enough words together to defend himself. But explaining that it wasn't a schoolboy crush would only make things worse and denying any feelings in that direction would be a lie. It wasn't that he couldn't lie, but Emma had a habit of seeing straight through him.
"And here I thought you'd found enough books to keep you off my back?" the high emotional level made his voice waver and pitch oddly.
"Hey, it was just an observation. Nothing else." she was retreating fast and he hated that even they tiptoed around each other.
"Yeah I know. Listen, I like the guy, all right?" Nick started smoothing his jeans against his thigh.
"Nick, … it's okay, I was out of line."
"No, it's the stuff that friends talk about right?" he could feel the anger and the guilt burning in his chest.
"I guess so." Emma said with a hesitant tone.
"I think it's a lot more than a crush actually, but I've never really let myself go like that." Nick took a deep breath and exhaled slowly through his nose to calm down. "I've always had a million reasons for not getting involved, let alone fall in love. You know me Emma." he was struggling, but saying it out loud for once gave him a rare feeling of relief.
"Yeah I guess I do. But you know what Nicky? You gotta feel comfortable in your own skin before someone else can really love you." Emma spoke slow clearly using her concentration on driving and not speaking.
"Easier said than done." he muttered as she parked the truck in the same space they had left a few hours earlier.
"Listen I need to care of some stuff before dinner." Emma threw him the keys and jumped out before he had a chance to answer her.
Nick looked after her and clenched his jaw. It wasn't the first time she'd done a runner when things became too personal. At least Greg sticks it out when the shit hits the fan. He winced at the obvious comparison between the two and gathered up the bag with his newly acquired books.
It was still snowing, but the wind had gone down and Nick allowed his inner child the joy of dancing face up into the falling snow.
Greg hadn't returned to the room by the time he'd finally surrendered and left the wonderful snow behind. Dinner was still ½ hour away so he dumped the bag on the bed and sat down to remove his boots, after those followed his jeans in order to get the long underwear off. Once he was properly dressed again he sat down on the bed in the lotus position and spread out all the books in front of him. The travel guides featured geysers and glaciers on their covers, the bird books colorful birds and the one that kept catching his eye had a column of lava rising behind a cemetery.
His right hand kept touching one book and it took him a while to realize that he was caressing the book he'd bought for Greg. The mere thought had him yanking his hand back as if he'd burned it. Nick shook his head at himself and hoped that the week would bring him closer to figuring out what to do with his obsession over Greg. He let out a sigh and picked up the book with the Ferrari on the cover again, turning it over to read the back cover blurb.
The sound of a keycard being inserted made him look up. Greg entered with a satisfied smile. "Hey you're back."
"Yep, Emma found the books she wanted pretty fast and I think the promise of driving back helped a lot." he looked up at Greg and allowed a smile to mirror Greg's.
Chuckling, Greg looked at the books spread out on the bed. "So you had to see for yourself that I was right?"
"No, eh… well, not that I don't trust you, but…"
"So what did I win?" Greg asked with his triumphant grin in place, the grin that always made his eyes twinkle. Nick felt goose bumps break out all over as he realized that he was probably falling in love.
"This." Nick held up the book with the white Testarossa while he tried to swallow the lump that had settled in his throat along with his heart.
Greg made several attempts to say an actual word, but ended up stumbling through various sounds more suited for a baby. Finally he accepted the book offered and started looking through it.
"You haven't got it already?" Nick was relieved when Greg shook his head.
"Nope, there was always some chemistry book that I wanted more." Greg sounded so full of awe that Nick wasn't sure that his present was welcome at all. Nick was about to launch an apology when Greg bent down and gave him a hug while repeatedly squealing thank you.
Greg felt Nick squirming due to his attack, so he broke the hug and sat down on the chair surveying the books spread out on the bed.
"Are you serious about going to Iceland?" Greg reached out and picked up the travel guide that was lying closest to the edge.
"I think so. It's been a long time since I last went on a proper vacation." Nick looked at him with longing eyes.
"Me too man."
After all their talk about Iceland in the last few days he wanted badly to go there again. Without giving Nick a chance to speak, Greg continued. "You know, we could go together, it would be cheaper that way." Greg hoped that Nick would give him an answer that would quell the unsettled feeling in his stomach.
"Would you? I mean you said yourself that it's expensive and do you think Grissom would actually let us have the same weeks off?"
"If you want my company, the rest can be solved no problem." he gave Nick what he hoped was a reassuring smile.
"Of course I want your company… eh, I had thought about asking you, but you kinda beat me to it." Nick was averting his eyes and fiddling with one of the books.
"Three weeks, ten grand, and we're never gonna forget the summer of 2006." Greg stated. Nick jerked his head up and met his eyes.
"What?"
"Three weeks to see as much as possible without getting stressed and ten grand to not miss anything fun. I mean river rafting, glacier hiking, rock climbing…" at that point Nick stopped him with a hand held up.
"Ten grand?"
"Again not to miss out. I've got eight thousand to spend on vacation this year and the last time I was there was so damn stressful."
"And here I thought you had taken a serious pay cut?" Greg didn't know anyone who could look as surprised as Nick.
"Well Stanford teaches more than Chemistry my friend. Investment theory fitted in nicely with my teaching plan." Nick's surprised look became one of understanding.
"You never cease to amaze me Greggo!" Nick laughed. "By the way, what did Rita want?"
"It was actually more about what Professor Markham wanted." Greg sighed and slumped back in the chair. "He's had a tragic death in the family and the funeral is Thursday, so… he needed someone to cover for him and after getting the list of those attending, he asked for me."
"Do you know his stuff?"
"Yeah sure, it's not like I've stopped being interested in DNA. I just wanted the field work as well." Greg shrugged and considered telling Nick about all the times that Ecklie called him in to run samples for day-shift.
"So I'm forced to listen to you Friday afternoon as well?" Nick faked a groan and Greg responded with a push to his shoulder knocking him onto his side. Without thinking Greg followed with his body in a playful attack on Nick and fell awkwardly when there was a knock to the door.
"Guys you in there? It's two to eight." Emma called from the hallway.
"Coming!" Nick chuckled out while he was trying to tickle the man sprawled on the bed before him. Greg did what he could to get away, but two of the books kept digging into his skin and he flailed helplessly with his arms and legs. After a second knock on the door Nick hauled them both up and they simultaneously smoothed their appearance before joining Emma and Rory.
The dinner buffet was being replenished as they entered the part of the restaurant reserved for the conference, so they started by finding a table. People were polite and formed a smooth moving line, thus they all had a full plate within five minutes.
"So Rory are you from England?" Greg needed to feed his curiosity and figured that Nick would stop him in case he was out of line.
"No, I was born in Queens New York, but I did grow up around Oxford and picked up the accent there." Rory seemed at ease and he carried on.
"That is some transplant!"
"Yeah, well my mother was 17 when she had me and clueless to whom my father was, repeating her mother's story. My grandmother had 4 children with as many unknown fathers."
There was a brief silence where all focused on eating before Rory picked up his story again. "One of my aunts, a year younger than my mother, was determined not to end up the same way and fought hard in school for grades and scholarships and got them....." a cherry tomato caused a brief interruption. "......Anyway she managed to get all the way to Oxford University and found herself an English man that she married, when I was about 7."
A commotion at another table broke the tale shortly.
"Before I was 9 I was well known for trouble and my aunt came over and took the decision to transplant me. So from the age of 9 till 22 I lived in Oxford and got a pretty strict upbringing. I got a degree in chemistry and psychology with the intent to become a profiler."
"So how did you end up a CSI in Philly?" Nick chipped in.
"Through headhunting. I'd had a Professor that worked with the crime lab in Philly on occasion and one day I got a call from him. To begin it was just as an extern counsellor, but I got a taste for the field work pretty quickly and before I knew of it I was a CSI."
Emma gave him an appreciative smile and nodded. "I remember that you kept on about going back to England, because you weren't sure that you belonged in the States anymore."
Rory leaned back and got a distant look on his face. "Well I do now. So Greg were you born in Europe?" Rory assumed the ‘you' position.
"No, but I'm only second generation, Norwegian." Emma gave Rory a puzzled look and Greg wondered what he'd done different from the others.
"The way you behave at the table, paying attention to the person on your right side and using the fork in your left hand." Rory explained for clarification.
"Oh well my grandmother loved to play tea-party with us kids, dressing and eating proper of course."
"What? No Papa Olaf!" Nick sounded genuinely surprised.
"He got admonished all the time for belching by her so he wasn't allowed to play high tea." Greg explained while refilling Nick's water glass.
"So your great hero Papa Olaf was whipped." Nick chuckled ducking the hand swiping over his head.
"He just lacked table manners, that's all."
Their conversation became a discussion about the differences between the States and Northern Europe. If it wasn't for a waiter hinting at the clock, they would have stayed there much longer. Instead Emma and Rory decided to meet up with Alec and some others in the bar, but Greg was too eager about his DNA presentation to poison his system with alcohol. So he and Nick returned to their room with the excuse to work.
Nick reclaimed the bed and started to read in one of the travel guides while Greg sat down at his laptop and began reading Professor Markham's latest article. Both men were so focused on their reading that when Greg's cell phone started chirping oaths escaped them.
"Sanders." he'd failed to check the caller ID in his surprise and hoped that it was just Sara.
The familiar voice on the other end soon proved him right and he eagerly told her about the lecture that he was going to give and carefully avoided all things Nick.
"That sounded like me and one of my sisters." Nick smiled after he ended the call.
"Yeah, I guess Sara's treating me as the baby brother she never had." He shrugged and turned to face Nick.
"That kinda renders your crush on her useless Greggo."
"Crush, what crush?!" he feigned surprise the best he could, even letting his voice pitch unnaturally high.
"Oh come on, you've always been drooling over her." Nick poked him on the leg.
"I might have found her attractive when she first arrived." Greg admitted teasingly.
"As if." Nick had obviously smelled blood and kept going.
"Honestly Nick, I got to know her and it wouldn't have been worth the trouble, so it just became fun teasing her." he grew serious and sought Nick's eyes.
"So she became your surrogate sister?" Nick held his eyes.
"Exactly."
Greg turned back to the laptop and squinted his eyes at the text that had magically changed to a smaller font size and grown longer words. He looked at the time in the menu bar and found that in the last 36 hours he'd slept less than three, so maybe it was time to call it quits.
"Tired?"
"Yeah" Greg rested his elbows on the table and buried his face in his hands.
"Did Emma keep you awake for long?"
"Mmh, I guess I got about half the sleep you did." he stretched and got up.
Nick gathered his books and stacked them on the desk. "So no going to the gym?" Nick poked at his guilty conscience.
"Not tonight, I'm too tired, I would just end up with some stupid injury." Greg headed for the bathroom and wondered why Nick followed, but thought that tooth brushing in a big family had to be a social event. Papa Olaf had always made it one when he was there with his cousins.
Greg had spent forever getting his teeth to look fairly normal and had acquired a lengthy ritual when it came to brushing them. So Nick's splash and dash amused him, but it gave him the opportunity to shut the door and have some privacy. He stared at his reflection in the mirror and thought about the man that had just exited the bathroom. So much had happened between them during that day, waking up together, the partner race, Nick buying him a book and most importantly agreeing to go to Iceland together.
The metallic taste of blood registered in his brain and he realized that he'd brushed the same side for too long. He stared into his own eyes telling himself that Nick would be alright, that he shouldn't worry so much about the other man, that Nick was made out of something very resilient. That Nick would soon find the version of man that he wanted to live as. A shiver ran through him as he remembered the moustache that Nick had tried out in the autumn, but if Nick needed a moustache to find his way back then so be it.
He focused his brushing on the front teeth and let his memory run back to when he'd just arrived in Las Vegas. There had been an instant attraction to Nick, but he was too young and inexperienced to go after someone like that. As the years passed his crush on Nick had varied in intensity and often forgotten whenever he'd been smitten by somebody else. Then after Nick had been kidnapped and found it had crept back, the case where the girl had left them pieces of gum to find had only fuelled it further.
Spitting and rinsing he hoped that this conference would help figure out just how he and Nick were supposed to be together, whether it be just friends or something more. His tired mind eased off and focused more on getting ready for bed and some much needed sleep. Nick was sitting at the desk with his own laptop when he emerged from the bathroom.
"How can you take so long to brush your teeth G?" Nick asked as he closed the laptop and brushed past him to get to the toilet.
"I've spent a fortune on them, not gonna lose them if I can help it." he called after the closing door.
While Nick was in the bathroom he made quick work of changing into his pyjama pants and his sleeping t-shirt. He crawled over to his side of the bed and lay down on his side facing the wall, then thought it would seem a hostile position to Nick. So he rolled onto his back and dismissed it as being too open, his stomach was not an option, because he had never been able to fall asleep in that position. When Nick flushed the toilet he settled on his side facing the still empty half of the bed, but deeply buried.
"Why Cinderella?" Nick asked as he crawled under the covers.
"Huh… oh… er… most people know it and it was my mom's favorite." Nick's question took him by surprise, but sparked his curiosity.
"What's your favorite fairy tale Nick?"
"Eh... the one with the princess sleeping on twenty mattresses." even in the semi-darkened room it was clear that Nick was blushing.
"Aww that is cute, the Princess and the pea." Greg fought back the desire to reach out and caress one of those burning cheeks.
"Actually it was one of my sisters favorite and she kept on reading it until I was like seven or something like that. But I also liked the one with the boy and the beanstalk."
"My all time favorite is the little match-seller. I don't know why really, I mean the little girl dies, but I begged my mom to read it to me." Greg almost felt like he was back home being put to bed by his mom just through the memory.
"I think we read it in school once. Greg?"
"Hmm."
"What about Papa Olaf? I mean you always have some anecdote about him to go with things." Nick looked mighty uncomfortable as he asked.
"Yeah I do, don't I? The ugly duckling, told in old fashioned Danish, just like it was written. Anyway that's what he claims, I haven't checked." Greg made a mental note to do so on occasion, or knowing himself the next time he got online.
Greg yawned and no matter how much he wanted to talk, he was simply too tired. Polite good nights were exchanged and Greg was almost asleep when Nick whispered a plea for him to carry on with Cinderella. With a chuckle he picked it up from where he recalled Nick having fallen asleep, suddenly no longer all that tired. It didn't take long for Nick to leave the conscious world though; Cinderella had not even dropped her glass slipper by the time a rhythmic relaxed breathing gave the Texan away.
The gag hindered free breath and his hands were restrained in an odd way. Nick struggled to get free and panic settled as he felt fabric over his nose. It was happening to him again, he was being kidnapped and he was completely defenseless. He twitched his body and kicked his legs hoping that it would get him free, free of the darkness surrounding him.
A blow to his shoulder sent him backwards and he snapped his eyes open hoping to catch a glimpse of his attacker despite the blindfold. Panting hard he only saw Greg, then he heard Greg say his name and finally he realized that it had just been a nightmare. Shaking he wrapped his arms around himself while counting his breaths.
"Hey now that you are up we could hit the gym." Greg said cheerfully.
Nick blinked repeatedly before settling his eyes on Greg and Greg's eager smile. He brought his hands up and rubbed his face, as if to erase the nightmare.
"What time is it?" Nick vaguely recalled the gym to be open at all hours, but waking up like that left him with little sense of time and reality.
"Little after four, so we can do a full session before breakfast." Greg sounded way too eager given the ungodly hour, but then again working nightshift meant living when other people slept.
Nick quickly added up the hours between going to sleep and four am and found that it was more than he got on an average day. The gym would also be a good place to exorcise the remnants of his nightmare.
"Sure, why not." Nick swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up on shaking legs.
Blindly he followed Greg through the hotel with a water bottle clenched in his right hand and a towel around his neck. In a corridor he hadn't been in before he figured that he should go back and change into his shorts and tank top, only to find that he was already wearing said items. Shaking the cobwebs from his brain he deducted that Greg had coaxed him through changing and putting on his sneakers, because he didn't recall having done so.
"Cardio or weights first?" Greg turned and walked backwards.
"Cardio." he knew a run would wake him up good.
The gym was well equipped and he got on the treadmill closest to the spinning bikes that he saw Greg head for. As the blood started flowing faster through his body his mind cleared and he adjusted the incline on his treadmill. Nick took in the machinery in the room and worked out a sequence for his session idly wondering what Greg would be going for. As all other gyms there were mirrors all over the place and his eyes caught Greg's reflection.
Greg was wearing a t-shirt, something he hated when working out, but given Greg's reaction at the gas station, it seemed only natural. Nick missed a step and nearly fell off the treadmill when it dawned on him that he was checking Greg out. Resuming his pace he tried not to, but despite his obvious effort, every detail about Greg's body logged in his mind. The muscular legs, the slender body, the moles on his face and the delicate hands.
It had been a long time since he last found anybody that attractive and Nick berated himself, trying to regain control. Greg began talking about what exercises he wanted to go through and Nick had a hard time focusing on the words as he followed droplets of sweat falling from Greg's brow. As they moved to the weights Nick got his act together enough to avoid injuries. But he hung on to every move Greg made and every word he spoke.
Greg was pulling the bar down behind his neck struggling with the 20 lbs extra that Nick had added to his normal load. It wasn't that he couldn't do it, but his usual 12 repetitions suddenly felt like thirty.
"Come on G, four more to go." Nick stood right behind him and locked eyes with him in the mirror.
"Three! You can do it." Greg pulled down in one agonizing slow motion feeling the burn in his shoulders, he would undoubtedly be sore afterwards.
"Only two left now." Nick's hands were hovering above his and he focused on the sweat trickling from Nick's dampened hair.
"And the last one, come on Greg." the intensity in the voice mixed with the eyes holding him fast was intoxicating and he felt dizzy.
"Hey you did it Greggo, see I told ya." Nick gave him a squeeze on the shoulder as he moved to get up and leave the machine to Nick.
His hand trembled when he picked up his water bottle, mostly from the strenuous exercise. But Nick bending down to move the pin further down did more to him than he wanted to admit. Swallowing hard he took up the same position as Nick had held before, only there wasn't really any reason for him to be encouraging Nick, who pulled the bar like it had no weight attached at all.
Greg watched the muscles move on Nick's upper back as he did the exercise and thought that the drawing on the machine with the same muscles highlighted should be replaced with what he was staring at. They switched places and Nick coaxed him through another 12 reps and steadied him getting up.
"Easy there G, here drink some more water." Nick uncapped the bottle for him while supporting him with his own body.
"Thanks, sorry … I …I just got up too fast I guess." the damp heat transferring from Nick's to his body almost made him more dizzy than the exercise had.
After another bottle of water he was back on track and doing his very best to impress Nick lifting, pushing and pulling more than ever before. Greg knew the danger of adding too much too soon and wondered why it was so important to show off to the other man, normally their competition was on mental and not physical abilities. Yet he picked up hand weights that had his biceps burning even before he started the curls, only to get that approving look from Nick.
Shifting his thoughts from the pain in his bicep he watched the flexing of Nick's instead. The golden skin with the protruding veins and the clearly defined muscle eased his own pain and the term eye candy came to his mind. Focusing on the feast of muscle he completed the rest of the set they had decided upon without missing a single rep.
"Damn that felt good." Nick flashed a smile at him from behind the water bottle that was about to come into contact with his lips.
Shaking his head Greg did his best to stretch and not eat Nick with his eyes. It wasn't fair that someone could look that hot and Greg envied Emma for having had Nick.
Getting through the session had been hard work on his concentration, because Greg had inadvertently stolen it from him repeatedly, but the stretch soon proved much worse for him to endure. Greg didn't have big beefy muscles, but a leanness that spoke of endurance and agility. But there was still plenty to gawk at and his hatred of t-shirts in a gym grew stronger by the second. Nick fought the urge to tear the offending garment off of Greg's body, not knowing what the younger man's reaction would be.
He didn't want to risk their friendship on a silly crush, but not acting on his feelings was painful. Nick scoured his memory for any indication of Greg being anything but totally straight.
"Race you to the room?!" Greg prompted when they got up from the last stretch.
"You're on." Nick took off towards the door the instant the words had left his mouth.
They sprinted side by side most of the time only the corners altered their positions until they reached the stairs, where Greg finally got a good advance on him. Panting, Nick caught with him as he entered their room and tackled him to the ground. As he launched, Greg turned to defend himself and they crashed to the floor, with Greg ending up flat on his back and Nick poised mere inches above. Nick lost the last bit of self control and closed the distance between them till their lips touched.
On instinct he'd closed his mouth when he fell and was breathing hard through his nose when Nick kissed him. The tension he'd felt between them in the gym finally found its release and Greg parted his mouth letting his tongue go in search of Nick's. Greg brought his hands up and let one roam Nick's back while the other played with the damp dark hair. In return he felt a hand in his hair and another kneading his upper arm.
"Fuck… what are we doing." Greg moaned pulling Nick's head up by the hair.
"Kissing." Nick growled and resumed the kiss.
Kissing he could do, everybody could kiss, but kissing Nick Stokes was frying his brain badly and he had to get some bearings on where they were headed. The enthusiasm with which Nick kissed him obliterated all his questions though and Greg allowed himself to enjoy the frantic hungry kissing.
The obnoxious beeping from Nick's alarm clock jolted them from their make out session like teenagers being walked in on by their parents. Reluctantly Nick got up to shut the alarm up. Leaving Greg's hot body was a greater loss that he'd ever imagined it could be and he silently prayed that Greg wouldn't bail on him.
"Nick?" Greg got up and moved to stand behind him.
"Mmh." Nick leaned backwards counting on Greg to close the space between them.
"This…" Greg swallowed audibly before continuing with a trembling voice. "this isn't just … a one off, is it?"
Nick turned around and brought his hands up to frame Greg's face seeking an answer in the luring brown eyes. There were a million things he wanted to tell Greg right then and there, but he feared that it would send the younger man running.
"No, Greg… Greggo I… I want you." Nick felt like the words had dried on their way out and left his throat raw.
"For real?"
All Nick could do was nod, he wanted to tell Greg that he wanted it all, that he wanted love, that he wanted a life together, that he wanted to raise children with him. His mind was spinning out of control and if Greg had hesitated another minute, Nick was certain that his brain would have short-circuited. Greg clasped his own hands over Nick's and smiled.
"Why don't we hit the shower then?" Greg suggested with so sexy a voice that his only answer was a predatory growl.
Greg let his sex drive take over, ignoring all the questions constantly popping in his mind, he was a guy after all and if he could get some he'd take it. It was the only way not to be scared by Nick, in all the years that he'd worked with the Texan he'd never seen the man look so feral. So when Nick kissed him again he fought the tongue-war the best he'd ever learned and mentally batted away all the teen-phrases like sucking face, tonsil-hockey, lip-lock, tongue-twister and frenching.
He mirrored the move of hands sneaking under his shirt and started to explore the well defined muscles of Nick's torso. The pectorals firm and parted by a cleavage that many women could only dream of, the abs felt like a brick wall and the wings extended up to the shoulders so firmly that Adonis had nothing on Nick Stokes. Greg had seen the goods many times before, but had never had a thorough feel of them. It made all his insecurities flare up again, fearing that Nick would not find him as attractive, that Nick would be put of by his shortcomings and scars.
The thought had just occurred to him when Nick yanked his t-shirt over his head, only breaking the intense kiss at the last possible moment. He thought he heard a beautiful uttered, but his heart was pumping on overtime and the whoosh of blood passing his ears made hearing a bit harder than normal. Greg found the hem of Nick's top, wanting more than just the feel of hot sweaty skin. Reluctantly Nick raised his arms to allow for the removal of the top and dropped them to the waistband of Greg's shorts the moment he was freed.
They stumbled the short distance to the bathroom like drunkards and Greg was certain that even over the legal limit he would be far more coordinated compared to kissing Nick. Tearing a hand from Nick's magnificent back he reached into the shower and turned on the water, blindly adjusting the temperature. Nick upped the stakes and instead of just playing with the shorts he began to push them down, Greg wasn't slow to copy the move and with some wiggling they stood naked.
Nick pressed his body against Greg's and took in the hot sensation of another erection pressed against his own. Without losing the precious contact they maneuvered under the warm spray, still kissing like they would never get a second chance to do so. Being naked made them both slow down the previously so-eager hands, almost as if each move had to be approved of. For him, and he figured for Greg as well, the ultimate goal was to bring the other man off. But he didn't want to move too fast and lose Greg on the way, so Nick slowly caressed his way towards the prize nestled between their stomachs.
At the first tender touch to the groove separating thigh from torso, Greg jerked back chuckling.
"No tickling, not fair."
He stumbled through incoherent apologies but Greg cut him off nibbling on his lower lip and a hand moving down from his navel through the coarse hair. Reassured, Nick resumed his caress, but this time not so light.
Greg felt perfect to the touch, smooth skin, toned muscles, firm buttocks and a mouth made for kissing.
Panting hard, Nick finally felt confident enough to touch the most sacred part of another man's body. Not wanting to be too aggressive he tenderly folded his fingers around the enlarged shaft and instantly felt Greg do the same to him. With as much care his lust crazed mind could produce he tentatively began to jerk Greg off and receiving the same action all hesitation went out the window.
Tension grew fast and he felt the tightening in his legs, barely noticing that Greg was on his toes like himself. All it took was a thumb brushing over the head a few times before he came exhaling in short grunts.
"Ye-ye-ye-yeaaaaaaaaaaaah." Greg vocalized his release and the intensity had him swaying on his feet.
Nick pulled him into a tight hug, holding the trembling man securely.
Standing there in the safety of Nick's embrace he rode off the last waves of the orgasm, almost dozing off. A distant squeak registered in his brain, but only made sense when he felt his hair being washed. The intimacy of the act surprised him more than what they had just done, the sexual tension between them was an old familiar feeling. Instinct told him to shy away from Nick and the obvious TLC, but it felt too good being taken care of like that.
After Nick had finished rinsing Greg's hair, he returned the favor. Standing away from the warm spray had freshened his mind and mischief reared its ugly head. He grabbed the body-wash, squirted a good helping into his hand lathered it up and rubbed it in Nick's face. Sputtering Nick was quick to get back with a handful of soap foam smashed against his ear.
Laughing hard they goofed around for a while, before finally deciding to end the joint shower and get dressed.
"I'm sorry." Nick mumbled as he sat on the bed bent over to put on his socks.
"Huh?"
"I'm sorry that I took this long." Nick blushed as he whispered his apology to Greg.
"Took this long? Eh… I don't understand." Greg frantically searched his mind for a reasonable explanation to Nick's behavior, while he was squirming into his t-shirt.
"That I took this long to … kiss you." Nick lost the nerve to look him in the eyes before the last two words.
"Don't be." Greg gently forced Nick to look him the eyes. "I would've run scared."
"Why?" Nick froze in movement with his left sock only halfway up.
"I needed to… eh… oh damn. Løpe hornene av, crap… what's it called?" sometimes it was frustrating to have a dominant figure like Papa Olaf in his life, because certain expressions he'd always only heard in Norwegian.
"You've lost me." Nick donned the sock fully.
"Hang on I got it, I think. Sowing your wild oats!" Greg exclaimed triumphantly.
"Oh okay, playing the field." Nick's face cleared up in an understanding smile.
"Yeah, besides we've both been through stuff … that has … I don't know … I mean we both had some growing up to do." Greg still felt very uncertain about the concept of him and Nick together.
"That's a way to say it." Nick got up from the bed to find a shirt.
"Besides living as gay wasn't really part of my plan to begin with." Greg took a deep breath, but held up a hand to let it be known that he wasn't finished. "But the idea has grown over the years. So I guess I'm kinda okay about it now."
"It's definitely easier doing it in Vegas compared to Dallas." Nick picked out a shirt at random.
"You've got experience with that?" Greg had never thought of Nick as gay, the Texan always seemed to charm women off their feet.
"Some, not much, it was … wasn't really safe back home and here … eh.. in Vegas I never really got into it I guess." Nick shrugged before donning the shirt.
"But you seriously lived as gay?" Greg sported a very confused look.
"Nah, didn't have the guts to. Went on a few dates, but chickened out every time." Nick bowed his head to hide his slight embarrassment.
"Can't blame you for that really." Greg landed a kiss on the top of Nick's still damp hair. "I've chickened out the times I had the chance to gain some man on man experience too."
"No? I blame myself, because I honestly think that I've missed out on a lot, by ignoring that side of myself." Nick looked up and received a reassuring kiss.
"Maybe, but you're here now, as am I." Greg kissed him again.
Nick was about to respond to the kiss when Emma knocked on the door asking if they were ready for breakfast. With a guilty grin they broke apart and answered with one voice.
"Coming!"
"Stop smiling or we are so busted." Greg elbowed him in the side.
"Don't know if I can." Nick dodged the second elbow.
Greg opened the door and greeted Emma and Rory. Nick followed after, trying to stay in the background. Running his mouth about the upcoming DNA-lecture Greg did what he could to conceal what had happened between them during the early morning.
His efforts lasted to halfway through the breakfast when Emma focused on Nick with a determined gaze. Rory froze with scrambled eggs on the fork only inches from his mouth.
"What?" Nick feigned innocence.
"You look like the cat that got all the cream." Emma laid her hands on the table and leaned forward.
"So Rory, what....." Greg got stopped by a hand shoved in his face by Emma, when he tried to draw the attention away from Nick.
"I was asking Nick here, but if you want to answer me Greg, feel free." Emma shifted her intense stare to him.
"Nick doesn't even take cream in his coffee, he takes milk, so I can't see why he should've gotten it all." Greg gave her the best Grissom impression he could.
Nick doubled over spitting coffee onto his plate regretting that he'd tried to finish his breakfast after Emma easing off on him. Rory was choking on his eggs and got a slap on the back from someone at the next table. Emma threw her arms in the air giving him a very disapproving look emphasizing with an annoyed huff.
"You are such a wise guy aren't you?" Emma said with mock insult.
"Anything you want me to be my lady." Greg smirked with a lopsided smile.
Both Nick and Rory had recovered enough to join the conversation again. But Emma was on a roll.
"Did you get some Nicky?" she whispered suggestively into his ear as she leaned over the table.
Swallowing the proverbial lump in his throat he tried to answer, but the redness of his cheeks gave him away. Emma's face broke apart in a most satisfied smile. Greg knew they had been outed and he felt the burn of his cheeks grow strong. The puzzled look on Rory's face only slowly dissolved into understanding. With a knowing nod Emma backed off, indicating for them all to finish breakfast.
After breakfast Nick could only think about ditching the day's lectures and making out with Greg instead. But Greg was acting pretty cool and talked eagerly about the upcoming events. Nick had a lingering suspicion that he only did so to keep focus on what they had been sent there for. For those who didn't know Greg as well as he did, the slightly pink cheeks would mean nothing, but to Nick it meant that it wasn't just him affected by what they'd done.
At lunch they grabbed a few pieces of toast and ate them climbing the stairs to their floor. The moment the door shut behind him Greg practically threw him on the bed and followed him down. He rolled them over covering Greg with his own body. The intense kiss and the heat emanating from Greg went straight to his groin taking a good portion of his blood with it.
"We've got less than an hour." Greg panted breaking the kiss.
"Fuck that!" Nick moaned desperately.
He wanted Greg, he didn't want to think about forensics and schedules, he wanted to kiss and make love. Kissing his way down Greg's throat while pulling up his shirt, he barely noticed Greg setting the alarm clock. Nick was so intent on the body beneath him that any concern about Greg not being all that experienced was long forgotten. He played with the nipples showing under the shirt that he'd pushed up and dipped his tongue in the tempting belly button.
Greg squirmed a bit under his ministrations but stilled when he undid the fly. Technically he knew that a blowjob wasn't considered safe sex, that he really shouldn't be doing it without a condom between them. But if Greg had been honest with him about not having had any partners for a while, then the risk was minimal.
"Nick… con… ah." Greg choked out when he closed his mouth over the head dipping his tongue in the slit.
There's a first for everything and Nick had never before tasted another man like that, never felt the smooth hard texture on his tongue, never had his nose buried in the musky scent of a man. Knowing what he liked when being sucked off, he did what he could to do just that and at the same time he used his tongue to explore everything. Each move he made caused a reaction in Greg and he memorized them all, growing confident with what Greg liked.
A series of strangled moans and uncoordinated yanks to his hair told him that Greg was close, the tense thighs under him confirmed it and yet he kept on. Bucking and gasping for breath Greg came into his mouth, the salty metallic taste took him by surprise, but he swallowed and gently suckled, squeezing the aftershocks from his lover.
Nick sat back on his knees and looked at the beautiful man beneath him, with the jeans pushed down to mid thigh and the boxers just above. Greg smiled satisfied at him and beckoned him closer.
"Very talented Nick." Greg whispered admiring the man before him. "Lose the shirt!"
Nick complied and stripped out of the shirt unceremoniously with a goofy grin. Eager to get a taste of his own, Greg sat up and began to loosen Nick's belt. Nick shifted to the side and Greg pushed him down onto his back, Nick grabbed hold of his shirt and yanked it off. With some clumsily half-hearted kicks he managed to squirm out of his jeans while he pulled Nick's off as well.
It was daunting for him to go down on another man, but he'd often wondered what it would be like. Eating the tempting flesh before him with his eyes, he caressed the lines framing Nick's abdominal muscles, slowly letting his hands move towards the hardened length resting on the lower stomach. He felt his mouth go dry and only tentatively touched Nick with his hand, letting his fingers trail over the hard silky flesh. Nick moaned straining his head back over revealing strong veins on his throat.
Wetting his lips, he bent down and pressed them to the head. The unfamiliar texture peaked his curiosity and he parted his lips to let his tongue out to investigate. That forced a small yelp from Nick, but the pleasant grunts following encouraged him to continue. He started out slow, getting acquainted with the width, breadth and weight, gradually taking in more. As he became confident with Nick's responses to his acts he picked up the pace and even dared a hand to dip lower to fondle the balls.
Nick's hands alternated between cramming the sheets and messing with his hair. The shortened breath and the tension in Nick's whole body was a clear hint of the oncoming orgasm. Images of girls getting sperm all over their faces flashed in his mind and as he chuckled Nick flooded his mouth, having tasted human soup he knew that it could not be any worse so he willingly drank the thick fluid. The chemist in him quickly recognized salt, zinc and a PH-value definitely above 7.
With a giggle he settled next to Nick laying his head on the hairless chest.
"What's so funny?" Nick asked drowsily.
"I've played ‘what's that chemical compound?' too many times." he hid his face with a hastily grabbed pillow in embarrassment.
That comment resulted in a hearty laughter from Nick and after a moment his embarrassment dissipated and he joined Nick laughing until tears trickled down his cheeks.
"Only you man, only you would dissect semen by tasting it."
"Well I find the taste of your little swimmers very intriguing, but they do have a way to go if they want to compete with my Blue Hawaiian."
Nick answered with a playful swat to the back of his head. The alarm once again caught them off guard and with a disappointed sigh they got up and redressed. Neither felt like leaving the room, but it would be noticed if they didn't show, so their sensibility got the last word.
Nick suffered through the afternoon's lectures unable to focus on anything but Greg scribbling down notes. Occasionally a few words lodged in his mind, but nothing substantial. His thoughts went to Greg and Greg only. Their mutual lack of experience bothered him, because he wanted it all and preferably tonight. But he didn't know how to broach the subject with Greg, which he argued was stupid. Greg was known to have an extensive porn collection and at least a thorough theoretical knowledge, so it shouldn't be a problem.
In the break before the last lecture Greg managed to find them a relatively private corner.
"What's on that pretty mind of yours?" came the whispered question.
"Nothing…" Nick averted his eyes, but looked back up when Greg sighed annoyed. "I just … I just want to …"
"What Nick? Skip class?" Greg wasn't in the mood for guessing games, but clearly Nick couldn't get whatever it was past his lips.
"Fuck me?" when Nick turned bright red he knew he'd hit home.
Unseen from the rest of the room he let his hand run over Nick's lower arm while he formulated what he wanted to say.
"Go get supplies after this, I need to call Professor Markham anyway. Then after dinner we could… try it out." Nick nodded and stumbled through an apology of sorts.
With a sigh of relief they left the last lecture of the day and after some polite small talk they were able to escape up to their room. The instant the door closed behind them they attacked each other in a fierce kissing competition battling for control. Tumbling onto the bed, Greg broke free of Nick.
"You know as much as I'd love to keep doing this. I still have a lecture to prepare and you promised…" Greg trailed off caressing Nick's burning cheeks.
"Yeah right I know, eh… G what kind of supplies did you have in mind?"
"Condoms, not that I'm not clean and not that I think you're not, but it would be stupid to run any risks, I mean with the job and all. We do get exposed at work every now and then so it…" Greg got cut of by a swift kiss.
"Babbling, right, sorry. Lubricant and not the kind for vaginal dryness, waterproof but condom friendly, I think the condoms need to be…" Greg was stopped by another kiss.
"Without spermicide, I know. Listen the water based are less irritating, so why don't I get both kinds?" Nick grinned widely and continued. "Come on man, I've worked crime scenes with dead gays and all their props, research was needed to figure what belonged and what didn't. And you know Emma, she was more than glad to help."
"But of course." Greg chewed on his lower lip, slowly losing his confidence about the whole thing. "Nick? Is it… I mean if you haven't and I haven't, we don't have to…"
"Come on Greggo, aren't you curious?" Nick may have been embarrassed taking the words into his mouth, but it wasn't a new idea with him and he didn't want to wait any longer.
"I am, I am, but most of the things that I'm curious about I read about… not that I don't want this… or you…" Nick sat up and cradled him the best he could, wanting to offer reassurance and comfort.
"We'll only do what you feel okay with. I'd never force you in any way, never!" Nick rocked them back and forth.
"Hey, hey I'm not that fragile." Greg broke free from the safety of Nick's strong arms.
"I know G, I know. I just don't want to hurt you. Besides there's no saying that you should go first…" Nick took a deep breath. "It's not like I haven't been wondering what it would be like to… you know."
"Sorry, I guess I just need some time to wrap my mind around this. Why don't we just go with the flow, huh?" Greg ran his hands through Nick's hair, brushing it back.
"Sure, where did the map go? I can't remember seeing the pharmacy yesterday."
Some idle search and playful outfalls towards each later, they found the map and Nick reluctantly pulled on the bear suit and his heavy boots. Greg kissed him intensely, wanting to say all the fussy things about being careful and that he loved him, but chickened out and let his actions speak instead.
Nick left with the words I'm not that fragile echoing in his mind, he'd once again managed to hurt Greg without wanting to. Cursing himself for his eagerness he headed downstairs, hoping not to bump into anyone that would require small talk. He had one objective and that was to get to the pharmacy and back with the necessities as soon as possible. A low rumble from his stomach made him consider a detour for something to eat.
It was 20 years ago that he had gone to a pharmacy to buy condoms for the first time, so logically it should be nothing. But Nick was acutely aware of the burning tinge in his cheeks and he had flashes of being in the adult baby shop with Grissom. It annoyed him that even after having seen what he'd seen and gone through hell, that something so simple still got to him. Muttering under his breath, he parked the truck and made his way into the shop.
Ignoring the other customers he found the shelves with the sexual paraphernalia. The selection range was wide so it took him a while to find the right things and he could feel how frustration kept building up. He needed to get back to Greg, or maybe he should blow off some steam first for Greg's sake. The clerk gave him a polite uninterested smile as he paid and he figured that she couldn't care less about his purchases.
Outside the wind had picked up again and was whirling up the snow that had fallen earlier in the day, but it also carried the wonderful smell of something fried. Nick slowly turned around, surveying the nearby shops until he'd identified the source of the wonderful aroma. A café sat a little further down the street next to a fast-food joint of sorts. He opted for a sandwich in the café and ate before he got back to the truck, filling the hole in his stomach only slightly.
It wasn't until he was halfway back that he figured Greg would be hungry too and the decent thing would've been to get him a sandwich too. The hardest thing to learn in a relationship is being we instead of I. He'd said that to Warrick after hearing him complain about Tina again. Warrick had just given him a quizzical look and he'd ended up explaining about this relationship book that he'd read; that had earned him a snide remark about trying it out in real life and not ‘go all Grissom‘.
Greg put down the phone and stretched his back, stemming his feet on the floor. A brief glance at the clock told him that he'd another hour to go before dinner and that Nick had been gone for quite a while. Shrugging his shoulders he figured that Nick had probably been detained in the lobby by some acquaintance, besides the sooner he could finish up preparing his lecture the more time he'd be able to spend with Nick.
Focused on getting PowerPoint to behave like he wanted, Greg missed the keycard being inserted and let a yelp of surprise when the door opened.
"Missed me?"
"Not if you intend to shock me like that man." the smile on his face however told a very different story.
"So you all done with that presentation or do you still have more to do?" Nick couldn't conceal his eagerness to be with Greg.
"Still have more, but doesn't have to be now." Greg said suggestively.
Chuckling, Nick dumped the bag on the bed and went over to kiss him, instead of getting up he leaned back in an inviting gesture. Nick obediently bent down and kissed him. Greg reached up and began threading his fingers through the long dark hair, when he realized that Nick tasted differently than before leaving.
"Have you been eating?" Greg felt disappointed that Nick hadn't thought to bring him any food, their scant lunch had left him with a etching burn in his esophagus.
"Yeah I grabbed a sandwich before coming back." Nick's voice got lower and more uncertain as he spoke.
"And what about me huh?" technically he hadn't asked Nick to get him anything, but he still felt pretty hurt.
"Sorry man, I… didn't think." Nick dumped down on the bed and rubbed his neck repeatedly.
Seeing Nick reacting so strongly, Greg felt guilty about what he'd said and moved on to the bed putting an arm around Nick.
"Well I didn't ask, so… anyway there's dinner soon. I'll live." Greg hugged him reassuringly and Nick responded with a shy smile.
Feeling that it was up to him to get Nick back on track he started to nibble on an earlobe, making the Texan squirm and giggle. He felt silly and bubbly inside and wanted to kiss and caress every single square inch of Nick's body. It seemed that Nick had the same intentions and like overheated teenagers they made out on the bed still fully clothed until Emma knocked on the door.
"I swear if she does that again I'll kill her." Nick muttered as Greg responded calling: "Coming."
They stole glances at each other throughout dinner and no sooner had they emptied their plates, they excused themselves and returned to their room.
It took him by surprise that Nick, instead of kissing him, kneeled down on the bed and piled the pillows up against the headboard the second the door closed behind them. Pondering on what to say without babbling it dawned on him that Nick was arranging them to elevate the person being ridden. His curiosity had made him do some extracurricular searches on the Internet not connected with his upcoming presentation. The first thing he'd done was to verify that Papa Olaf truly did tell ‘The ugly duckling' in its original form and the second beginner positions for anal sex.
Nick emptied the bag he'd dumped earlier on the bed and lined up condoms and lubricant next to the stack of pillows. It almost felt like staging an experiment, now they only needed to put up some recording device. Greg shook his head at the thought and realized that whoever had said that being a CSI was an incurable disease was right.
"What?" Nick got up and faced him.
"Nothing." he avoided any explanation by kissing and undressing Nick.
One garment followed another and once naked, Nick coaxed him down on the bed. The bright smile adorning Nick's face was almost enough to wipe away any anxiety he had lingering and when Nick straddled him the last dispersed. Wordlessly they kissed and groped and Greg kneaded the firm buttocks forever before letting his fingers wander down the cleft. Moaning, Nick reached for the bottle next to them and reached for Greg's hand. The gel felt cool when Nick squirted it onto his fingers, bracing himself for the reaction he brought his hand closer to the goal and let his index finger rub over the contracted skin. Nick snapped a breath, but nodded for him to continue. After massaging the area gently Nick whispered something he couldn't decipher, but the meaning wasn't lost on him and he pushed his index finger in. More mumbling from Nick encouraged him to move his finger and as the needy groans increased he added another finger.
Of course he knew about the sensitive gland, but when he ran his fingers over it Nick's reaction still amazed him. Repeating the motion he forced a long series of incoherent sounds from the man along with a generous amount of pre-ejaculate. Nick broke the intense kiss, heaving for breath as he continued his ministrations, a trembling arm with veins protruding found a foil wrapper and unsteady fingers applied the condom on him.
Nick stared into his eyes and whispered. "Ready."
Greg watched in awe as his very own cowboy rubbed a generous amount of lubricant on him. He brought a hand down to hold his erection steady and held his breath as Nick precariously pushed down on him. The sudden tightness engulfing him forced his held breath from him with a hiss and Greg looked up at Nick, who had his eyes screwed shut in concentration. Whispers of reassurance passed over his lips and the wrinkles creasing up around Nick's eyes foretold of the smile spreading.
Slowly Nick embarked on the ride of his life, each move connected them deeper and after experimenting with the angle he found a rhythm that threatened to take away his sanity. Underneath him Greg was looking at him with eyes overflowing with emotion and panting in tune to his rhythm. The powerful sensations made him falter his pace and Greg began rolling his hips to help. Nick leaned forward effectively trapping his own erection between their stomachs, their abs flexing and contracting was too much and he could do nothing but let the orgasm overcome him.
The rolling hips was the only thing still connecting him to the world, the rest was a blur of white. The hands on his hips kept guiding him back and forth, drawing out the orgasm like he'd rarely experienced it before. Nick blinked and regained more sense of the world in time to feel Greg convulse and thrust uncontrolled into him a few times while grunting out sounds that was probably meant to be a word. Smiling, he placed kisses on Greg's face and resumed a gentle rocking motion himself, milking the younger man.
"Fuck." Greg moaned after coming down from his high.
"Yeah." Nick wanted to make a witty remark, but his brain was too preoccupied with dissecting what had just happened between them.
"I can't believe you came without any… eh direct action." Greg whispered caressing his cheek.
"Me neither, I mean I know it's possible, but still… damn." Nick reached behind himself, Greg got the idea and holding onto the condom they carefully parted.
"Cleanup or sleep?" Greg yawned, his only answer was Nick sliding off to one side nuzzling his head in the crook of his neck.
Nick woke up stuck to the warm body next to him and with a peculiar burn after their union. Lifting his head he saw the red illuminated numbers on the alarm clock and found that he'd been out for what must have been half an hour. Greg was breathing relaxed next to him and the bed was a mess of sheets. Smiling, he popped up on an elbow and studied the man next to him; the perfect straight nose, the high cheekbones, the long dark lashes and the curls that had made a re-appearance after years of excessive styling.
He idly wondered what people would say once they told them and mostly what his parents would think of Greg. His line of thoughts made him wonder why he was so certain that this, that him and Greg was the real deal. It could just be loneliness and the enforced intimacy that had brought them together, but he reasoned that he wouldn't have gone this far if it was only that. Besides, the dizzying feeling in his body seemed like the one described by people in love.
The dark lashes fluttered and moments later Greg became fully alert.
"Hey there gorgeous." Nick stretched his neck and planted a soft kiss on Greg's lips.
"Hey yourself." Greg smiled back at him.
"What do you say to that shower now?" Nick moved his head to kiss the cheekbone closest to him.
"Sounds perfect to me, maybe we could even try out the waterproof kind?" Greg's old cheekiness gave his face a boyish look.
"If you're up to it." Nick picked up the bottle and dangled it before him.
"Hey do you really think I would miss out on something clearly fantastic. The question is, old man, if you're up to it." Greg said bringing his hand down between Nick's legs.
"Oh you betcha." Nick rolled over him and stood pulling Greg up with him.
They tumbled out to the bathroom and Nick had to escape back into the room to get a condom. Greg meanwhile turned the water on and greeted him eagerly as he stepped under the spray. Whatever his body was running on it was good, normally having sex twice in a day was exhausting, but there they were ready to go a fourth round.
"Man I feel like I'm a teenager again." Nick stated after another breathtaking kiss.
"And here I thought that stamina came with age?" Greg joked back.
"You wanna see stamina?" Nick winced inwardly at his attempt to sound husky, but Greg didn't seem to mind.
"Show me." Greg egged him on and turned to face the wall, wiggling his ass.
The trust that Greg displayed showing his naked back and inviting him like that rattled his mind more than riding him had done. Nick took the bottle of lubricant and applied a good helping to his fingers, unconsciously checking that his nails were short and without sharp edges. Greg's recent orgasm had relaxed him so much that Nick had an easy time preparing, but he didn't find the prostate as easily as Greg had found his and he was beginning to get flustered when Greg cried out and clenched his muscles tight around his finger.
"Whoa, that's… that's…" Greg gave up talking and focused on relaxing again, helped by the soothing caress offered by Nick.
"I know, I know, enjoy the ride Greggo."
When he felt certain that Greg could take him he fumbled for the condom only to have the wrapper slip between his lubricated fingers. Greg picked it up and deftly suited him up before turning around and bracing his body against the wall. Nick held onto Greg with one hand and used the other to guide his erection in. With a needy sigh Greg pushed down on him and not one to miss his chance he made an upwards thrust simultaneously sinking in deep.
Gasping for breath Greg whispered what he'd wanted to say all day. "I love you."
"Love you too." Nick tightened his hold on Greg and started to move his hips gently.
Trial and error led them to a position where Greg got the most stimulation and both still had a secure footing. Sensing that Greg was hovering on the edge and knowing that he was still not quite there, Nick lowered his hand from Greg's waist to his erection. Greg stopped breathing for what he found way too long before crying out in joy and spilling over his hand.
The spasms tightening the muscles around him magnified all sensations and Nick delivered what he had left into the condom. Unable to coordinate movement any longer Nick hung on to Greg like a sloth. The exertion, the warm water and the warm body holding him made him dose off.
Greg called his name several times before he was able to respond and extract himself. Nick was completely drained and only just managed to stand on his own feet letting Greg take care of him. Humming, a satisfied Greg washed them both, the only time he felt that he was overstepping his rights was when he washed Nick's privates. He still recalled with horror the various nurses washing him while he was in the hospital. Women just didn't know how to do that properly. But Nick didn't react to his ministrations until he turned off the water.
He coaxed Nick into brushing his teeth, not that morning breath scared him, but if it could be minimized who was he to complain?
The following days went by in a blur of sex and lectures and a vague attempt to be social with the other CSIs. Greg managed to put his presentation together before Friday, but he was forced to send Nick out with Emma and Rory on Thursday night much against his will. In between all the action they talked about the strangest things, but mostly about the future and what they wanted from it.
"Ladies and Gentleman, I give you Greg Sanders, former DNA tech and now CSI Level 1 from Las Vegas." Rita introduced him as he took the podium.
Nick listened intently for the first time all week. Greg had always been a sucker for presentations and it was a thrill to see him entertain such a big audience. The pride he felt well up inside baffled him, but also solidified the idea that he'd truly fallen in love with Greg. A love that was reciprocated without doubt.
Egoistically Nick had hoped that everybody would be eager to be on their way, thus not having any questions for Greg. But he was sadly disappointed and it took over an hour before the audience ran out of questions.
The snow had eased off during the Thursday and the hotel was no longer booked over its limits, so the closing banquet was to go ahead as planned, though rumors throughout the week had said it would be cancelled. They'd decided to leave straight after Greg's presentation in order to make it back on time to Las Vegas, but Emma begged them to stay and Catherine had told them during the week that she preferred them back safe rather than on time.
"So Nick, what's the dress code?" Greg began laying out outfits on the bed.
"Eh… I usually wear this." Nick held up a pair of black jeans and a dark blue dress shirt.
"No surprise in that." Greg smirked and picked up his suit jacket and a dark shirt to go with it.
For the umpteenth time that week Emma knocked on their door asking if they were ready.
"I swear she gets off on doing that." Nick cursed as he struggled with the cufflinks.
The banquet had it all and they soon found themselves stuffed full of food and ready for lounging in one of the sofa groups near the bar. But several of the women present had other plans for them and they ended up dancing for most of the evening and not once with each other. To begin with it bothered Nick, but he as the evening wore on he found that being away from Greg was survivable after all.
They'd talked about leaving no later than 8 am, but even the best laid plans are subject to change. Emma just remembered a hundred things she had to show them and when they finally made it to the lobby more people just had to talk to them. Even though they were both proud of Greg's presentation having come of successfully they were getting tired of hearing about it.
The dashboard clock read 12:05 pm when Greg turned the key in the ignition. It wasn't snowing and the wind had eased off enough to leave the snow in the drifts. But the sky was grey and growing steadily darker.
"Vegas here we come." Greg announced as he pulled out of the parking lot.
"Home sweet home." Nick added as he leaned back with a hand landing on Greg's thigh.
The snowplows had been busy during the night and for the first five hours they kept a good speed, but then the grey sky turned into a wall of white. There was no risk of spinning off the road, because the drifts on either side were five feet high. But Nick, who'd just taken over the driving, reduced the speed considerably not wanting to risk anything. Greg had nodded off the moment Nick had the put the vehicle in motion and he made a mental note to ask Greg why he could sleep like the dead in a car, but would be wakened by the smallest thing when in a proper bed.
The evening wore on and the white wall was wearing him out faster than he'd counted on. Trying not to yawn, Nick blinked and began to look for a place to pull over. It didn't have to be more than a driveway, just somewhere to park the car out of the way for a few minutes while he stretched his legs. There seemed to pass an eternity before some lights penetrated the snow, on closer inspection they turned out to belong to a motel. Nick couldn't remember having seen one their way there, but Greg could have been the one driving at the time.
"Where are we?" Greg jerked awake when he turned off the engine.
"At some motel. I need a break G." Nick turned in his seat and kissed Greg before reaching back for his bear suit.
"Mmh maybe we should stay here for the night?" Greg said after having taken a look out the window.
"Nah, I just need to see a man about a horse and get the blood going again." Nick jumped out of the cab and quickly shut the door.
Greg shuddered at the sudden rush of cold through the cab. Shaking the cobwebs from his brain he looked closer at the surroundings, wondering just where they were. The motel didn't ring any bells with him, the one they were supposed to pass belonged to a different chain. He twisted in his seat to reach the map that he'd dumped on the backseat earlier.
"Aww Nick, you fool." He wasn't going to be popular having to tell Nick that he'd missed their turn some 20 miles back according to the map.
The man in question came stalking back to the truck and Greg wondered just how things would turn out, until then it had been smooth sailing for them. Nick yanked the door open and climbed in, slamming it shut with a resounding thud.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid." the hands gripping the steering wheel hard, the white knuckles in total contrast to the irritated red burning in Nick's cheeks.
"You found out?" Greg asked tentatively.
"Bloody missed that freaking crossroad. Oh crap, man. I…" Nick trailed off eyeing the map and snatching it from him.
"It's only 20 miles Nick."
"20 miles that'll take two hours if everything goes smooth." Nick gritted out.
"You want me to drive for a while?" Greg could feel beads of nervous sweat forming on his upper lip.
"Huh? No man, I screwed up, it's only fair I get us back on track." Nick handed him the map back and patted him on the thigh.
"I could stay awake, help you watch out for it." he offered, making his voice light and cheerful.
"No need to, you gotta be fresh for your own stint Greggo." Nick removed the hand and sat about getting out of the bear suit.
"Don't worry about me, I've gotten enough sleep to last me the rest of the trip." Considering the little sleep they'd had after the first kiss, he truly had had a luxurious amount while Nick had been driving.
"Whatever." Nick sighed and dumped the heavy outfit on the backseat.
Greg cleared his throat and slowly began to recite Jack and the beanstalk. He'd looked it up while Nick had been sent off to give him time to prepare for his presentation, all just because Nick had said he liked it. Greg watched the lines at Nick's eyes crease and wrinkle according to the feelings passing through him at hearing the fairy tale. At that moment it struck him like a lightening bolt from a clear blue sky, just how deeply in love he'd fallen.
As predicted it took them two hours to get back to the crossroad and force through the pile of snow created by the snowplow. They'd agreed on stopping at the gas station where they'd had pancakes on the way out and also on Greg driving after they found the crossroad. Nick curled up in the passenger seat and fell asleep to Greg telling him about Papa and Nana Olaf.
The rest of the ride back to Charlotte and Frank's place was slow but otherwise uneventful. Because of their decision not to stop for the night and just keep driving there was no sex for the first time since they'd jumped each other. But they still learned a great deal about each other. Greg found it amusing that Nick would pat him on the thigh every time he woke, as if to let him know he wasn't alone. Nick discovered that Greg would begin to jump around in the seat when he had to go, but not say anything until the last minute.
Their reception at the Kramer place was pretty much the same as the first time around until Frank picked up on things; then the world erupted into continuous cries of joy. Charlotte was the first one to calm down and she beckoned Nick to follow her. Greg had gone with Frank and the kids outside and was assembling a snowman when he left with Charlotte.
"Good on ya, Nick. He's a good man and don't get me wrong, but he's needed a good woman for a long time." Nick frowned at her words, wondering if he had a sign on his forehead saying perfect female victim.
"What's with that? It's not like you're the first to call me a woman." he leaned against Greg's car as they re-entered the garage.
"6th sense? I don't know, you've just got this vibe… feeling whatever, I mean the way Greg has spoken of you in the past and the few minutes that I've talked to you just… I don't know… come off as a girlfriend kinda guy, no offense." Charlotte gave him an apologetic smile as she stumbled through her explanation.
"Not sure what to say really." Nick let out an annoyed breath rubbing his neck while he searched for words. "I mean sure I've got five older sisters and … after… ya know, my family assumed I was with Warrick and gave me their blessing."
"Hmm, why don't we move your luggage?" Charlotte suggested backing off.
"Nice truck by the way, it sure was a pleasure driving that. We used the winch a few times to pull people out of the ditch. Greg's even convinced me to go to Iceland this summer with him." A fond smile played across his face thinking about the truck and Iceland.
"Aw you'll love it there, the nature is a masterpiece… and well it's expensive, but the people are really nice too." Charlotte handed him a suitcase.
"Yeah, I bought a few travel guides and did some research on the net and now I can't wait till August." came Nick's disembodied voice from the trunk of the VW.
"Can't blame you for that. Listen Nick, be good to him and he'll treat you right. He's a very generous man, smart and will go through hell and back again for those he loves." Charlotte had fallen serious and he'd turned to face her, sensing that it was the right thing to do.
"I will." A warm tingling spread through him.
"Hey you didn't have to do that. You should've called!" Greg came bounding into the garage in chase of one the children.
"Why not?" Charlotte scooped up her child.
"Maybe we should get going while there's still light?" Nick suggested wanting nothing more than Greg to himself.
Greg just smiled his mischievous smile and walked right up to him planting a wet sloppy kiss on his lips. Slightly baffled, Nick took a moment to partake in the kiss actively, but Greg broke away and went to see if they'd forgotten anything in the Land Cruiser.
"You truly are the one." Charlotte whispered in his ear as she patted him on the chest.
Nick never got to answer since a phone rang and Charlotte rushed away to answer it. Meanwhile Greg had finished clearing the truck and found a few receipts and the water bottle that had gone missing on the way to the conference. They went outside to find Frank and said their goodbyes.
"I still say that we tell Grissom first." Greg tried to keep his tone untroubled, but they had been discussing coming out for the last many miles.
"Why not Cath, she's more our daily leader. Besides she's human when it comes to stuff like that." Nick protested bringing forth more arguments.
"Grissom's human too, you're just not seeing that." Greg countered.
"Because he's not acting human!" Nick raised his voice more than he intended.
"He is, besides Catherine makes me feel like I'm 16 and getting it all wrong." the high pitch in his voice sounding like a teenagers breaking voice.
"What?" Nick shook his head in disbelief. "Cath is always there for us man!"
Greg fell silent trying to think his way out of their argument. It had begun with him telling Nick that they couldn't hide their now extended relationship at work. After a thinking pause Nick had agreed, since they would need to change who to be contacted just in case. Not that either of them cared to think about it much, but they had already both been there and knew how weird it would be to take second place.
"Is it because of the explosion?" Nick asked in a soft tentative voice with no fight left in it.
"Huh? No not at all. She… I don't know. I guess I just feel more comfortable around Grissom these days." Greg shrugged his shoulders.
It hadn't always been like that, but somehow Grissom had changed into a more friendly mentor lately. There didn't seem to be anything that he couldn't talk to his supervisor about, but the thought of telling Catherine spooked him. She had been great at the time of the explosion and done a lot for him. But since the team had been split she'd just been different, only he had no idea how to tell Nick that.
"I still prefer telling her first." Nick said quietly wondering how to tell Greg about Grissom and his weird decisions since May.
"Let's call them both when we enter Clark County and go to the one nearest." Greg figured that to be the diplomatic solution and one was indeed called for.
"Deal." Nick grabbed his hand and squeezed it.
"So I know I need to do some laundry when we get back and you're the one with the new washing machine." Greg elbowed him in the side.
Nick broke into a genuine smile, relieved that the fight hadn't been too bad. He knew that fights were a part of a relationship, but he hadn't much experience when it came to that. So every little tiff between them made his heart race and his stomach upset. But Greg was the perfect cure for that, even though he was also the cause. The amiable banter lasted until they entered Clark County and Greg pulled over at a gas station.
Two short phone calls later they got back into the car and drove to the scene that Catherine was working. Greg gave Nick the silent treat for a while seemingly focused on the traffic. The case was a B&E north of Las Vegas at some shop.
"Why is she working that?" Nick mused as they pulled into the adjoining parking lot.
"Lack of worker bees?" Greg suggested with an arched eyebrow.
"Could be." Nick chuckled and exited the car.
"Knock-knock." Nick called through the open door only blocked by the crime scene tape.
"Behind the counter." they could only see the top of a baseball cap from where Catherine's voice originated.
"Hey Stokes." Vartann approached them from the back. "And Sanders too, what an honor."
"Detective, still in the dog house?" Nick asked light heartedly.
"Oh yeah. Word of advice, do not get a suspect shot while having said person in your custody. It doesn't go down well with the sheriff. So I'm still banned from homicide." Vartann greeted them both with a firm handshake.
"Hey guys, what's so important that it couldn't wait until tomorrow night?" Catherine popped her head up over the counter.
"This." Nick swallowed, grabbed Greg's hand and entwined their fingers, holding their joined hands up for show.
"Right… well that's …" Catherine was cut short by Vartann.
"Congratulations. You'll need to watch your backs with a few of the uniforms, but just let me know and I'll set them straight." the detective winked at them with his cheesy punch line.
"Yeah congratulations guys, have you told Grissom?" Catherine gave them her classic concerned mother look.
"Not yet, but he's next on our list." Greg said sheepishly.
"You know not all will understand nor support this?" the mother hen was on a roll.
"We know Cath, but we'll be alright. It'd just be stupid not to tell you. I mean something might happen and…" Nick shuffled his feet and looked at the floor.
"I understand Nicky, I'm just trying to prepare you." Catherine saved him from saying more.
"It's not like we've become different people all of a sudden." Greg was getting very uncomfortable holding hands with Nick.
"Coming out is equal to growing an extra arm." Vartann and his sarcasm weren't lost on them.
"What would you know about that?" Catherine's curiosity sniffed a story.
They scampered off leaving a retreating detective with a CSI that had gotten the scent of blood. Back in the car both let out a sigh of relief. Greg leaned his head against Nick's chest.
"Phew, that went a lot better than what I thought."
"Told ya. How about Vartann, is he gay?" Nick pressed a kiss to the top of Greg's head.
"Don't know, do you feel gay?" Greg righted his body and turned to look at Nick.
"I've always been curious, but gay. I don't know G." the crow's feet around his eyes became deep with thought.
"I ain't no queer." Greg did his best to impersonate ‘Ennis Del Mar'.
"Is that how you see us? I mean … life didn't turn out all that well for them." Nick swallowed hard.
"No, I… listen Nick, we are better educated and older and society is a bit wiser. Besides none of us are hung up on expectations like they were." goose bumps broke out all over Greg's body as he spoke.
"True. But I don't feel like Boy George now." the joke broke the tense moment and laughing Greg turned the key.
As he drove Greg thought about being gay, about being different, about being defined by his choice of partner. But he didn't feel different, he felt in love. He wondered just how many lived like that, being people first and then gays. A shaky sigh from Nick interrupted his thoughts and he cast a glance at his lover. Nick was fidgeting and had a nervous air to him. A second glance earned him a half hearted smile.
"You still nervous about telling Grissom?"
"Yeah, I… he… you know he logged that tape?" the reality of being back in Vegas was sobering Nick up.
"Yeah, Archie spilled his beans one day after we cleaned out my bar cabinet. I … eh I didn't know if I should say anything." Greg had a distinct feeling of being on thin ice.
"Don't worry about it man. My beef with Grissom is mine and not yours. Just because he's … I don't think he handled my case very well." Nick sighed and stared intensely at his hands lying folded in his lap.
"I don't think any of us did really."
"Maybe not, but you never gave me any grief over it. Not like Warrick running off and getting married on a whim." Nick ran a hand through his hair.
"We're here." Greg announced as he pulled into the parking lot at the crime lab.
"Just like peeling a band aid off eh?" Greg gave Nick a playful slap on the hip.
All he got in return were a smile mustered for show. They walked casually side by side into the building aiming for Grissom's office. Their boss was head down in several files and didn't look up until Greg closed the door behind them.
"You weren't due back tonight, were you?" the confused look on Grissom's face only lasted for a glimpse.
"No, but there's something you need to know." Greg stated.
"Yes?" Grissom looked expectantly up at them.
"We're dating." Greg figured that simple was easiest and added as an afterthought. "Each other."
Grissom raised his eyebrows and gave them a scrutinizing look over. Then pursed his lips and sat back in his chair. Nick was nervously shifting his weight back and forth while waiting for a response.
"Does that have anything to do with your jobs?"
"No, we just wanted you to know. And take three weeks off together this summer." Greg felt bold after Grissom's obvious acceptance.
"Catherine has already filed for vacation, but if it falls outside of hers then fine by me. Ecklie owes me after Christmas and new years." Grissom dismissed them with a vague smile.
After they left Nick felt his legs give and he leaned on the nearest wall available. Greg sensed that Nick needed a moment alone and wandered off towards the break room. A familiar backside came into his view as he rounded the corner. Beaming with pride he entered the break room to tell Sara the good news.
"Hello beautiful." he sang out.
"Hey, back early aren't you?" Sara seemed to perk up as she turned to face him.
"Yeah, even though we didn't leave as early as we intended to." the happy smile on his face seemed almost welded on.
"You working tonight then?" Sara inquired.
"Nah, we just stopped by to say hi." the coffee on the hot plate drew him like a magnet.
"We?"
"Yeah me and Nick, we just had to talk to Grissom." intent on pouring his coffee he missed the frown forming.
"What about." the words came out very slowly.
"About getting three weeks off together to go on a holiday." Greg looked up over his coffee.
Sara was staring at him almost as he'd grown another head like a Hydra. The mug in his hand suddenly gained weight and tiredness settled in his entire body. He hadn't counted on Sara to be giving him a hard time, the woman was as far as he knew borderline gay. Scouring his brain for words he remained silent and a heavy awkwardness descended on the room. The frown on her face morphed into anger and he braced himself for the inevitable outburst.
"You're an absolute idiot if you think that you can save him!" she hissed.
"Save him?" of all the possible scenarios his mind had produced that had not been one of them.
"Yeah save him! We all know that he's off key and needs saving, but don't waste your time Greg. It's like trying to make a drunk sober with love." she spat angrily.
"Well I don't think he needs saving. I think he's just perfect." with that he sat the mug in the sink and left ignoring her comeback.
Nick pushed off the wall and had every intention of following Greg when he heard Bobby Dawson laugh. They'd agreed on telling people to avoid awkward situations, besides Nick knew he didn't hide it well. With a smile spreading he headed in the direction of the laughter.
"Hey Bobby." Nick entered the ballistic lab and found both Bobby and Archie there.
"Missed us so bad you had to come back a day early?" Archie winked.
"Sorta, I just wanted to …" the words failed to come and he just stood there with his mouth open.
"Brag?" Bobby suggested.
Nick turned bright red and fumbled to find the right words. Bobby tilted his head and Archie nodded.
"So Greg finally fell in?" Archie asked curiously.
All Nick could do was nod. It seemed so easy to tell people and until now all they had gotten was support. Encouraged, he left to find Warrick eager to share his happiness with his best friend. When they'd arrived he'd noticed that Warrick's SUV was sitting in the parking lot so he hoped to find him in the lab somewhere. It didn't take him long to find the man in question bent over scraps of evidence in the layout room.
"Hey bro." Nick beamed with joy and greeted Warrick in their usual style.
"Hey what's with the happy face?" Warrick gave him a tired smile.
"Greg's what's with this happy face."
"Huh?" Warrick stared at him in disbelief.
Nick felt his heart sink as Warrick frowned at him. If there was somebody he'd really counted on to be happy for him, it was Warrick.
"Yeah well me and Greggo are together now." he said very quietly with all his confidence gone.
"Oh man you gotta be kidding me, right?" Warrick sighed exasperated.
"No and for your information I'm happy. Deal with it." Anger flared in him at the derogatory remark.
"Whatever." Warrick turned back to his evidence.
"You know what. Last summer my parents actually thought that we, as in you and me man, were together." Nick spat angrily.
Warrick recoiled from the table with a hurt look on his face, one that he quickly replaced with an angry mask though. Nick didn't want to hear more so he stormed out of the room and headed for the break room hoping to find Greg. Halfway there he was met by a flustered Greg that muttered something about Sara and getting out of there.
Things at work were tense for a good two weeks after they came out. Most of the tension was caused by Sara and Warrick, but also a few techs and cops found the news difficult to digest. Nick lost count of the times that he tried to explain to people that he was still Nick Stokes and not some random queer making a bad impersonation of him. Warrick's disapproval troubled him so much that he ended up calling Tina in desperation. Their short conversation left him more than confused, she acted as if she was jealous of him.
The tension slowly eased, some people just became less friendly. But Warrick only worked with them there was no friendly banter, no breakfasts and no beers after work anymore. Every attempt Nick made to get their friendship back on track was shot down by Warrick. Greg fared no better with Sara. She became distant and ignored any flirtatious remarks he sent her way. After having spent hours talking and wondering about the hostility Sara and Warrick showed them, they figured that it was just those friends they were supposed to lose becoming a couple.
Despite the trouble Greg and Nick spent most of their free time together doing the same things as all other new couples do. Each day taught them new things about each other and each day also brought more stuff from Greg's apartment to Nick's house. It happened so gradually that it wasn't until the shelf in Nick's bathroom fell down that they realized it. The added weight of Greg's many toiletries had been too much for the thin shelf.
Two days later Nick broached the subject.
"Greg? Maybe you should give up your apartment and move here." his clammy hands and pounding heart made speaking hard for him.
"Thanks." Greg hugged him fiercely. "Saves me asking."
"You little rat." Nick started tickling him, both hating and loving him for wanting the same thing.
The doorbell interrupted their game of tickling and through habit Nick answered the door. After not having spoken a word not concerning a case with Sara since they came out, he was more than surprised to see her. She stood there with her assumed nice smile and he stepped aside to bid her in.
"Who is it?" Greg called from the living room.
"Surprise!" Sara said as she entered the room.
"Hey." his words were quiet and testing the ground.
"I'm sorry Greg. And you too Nick. I've behaved like an ass." Sara sat down on the edge of one of the dining table's chairs.
They both nodded, neither man knowing what to say. Sara stalled for a while just fiddling with her sunglasses.
"I was wrong, what I said was wrong." she struggled getting the words right.
"Why did you say them then?" Nick asked a bit harsher than necessary.
"I guess that… well I wasn't really prepared for it and…" the words came tumbling out and she paused to get them organized. "and I'd seen the way you acted Nick and recognized it and I didn't want Greg to suffer what… I've seen others suffer."
"How I acted?" Nick sat down on the couch looking very puzzled.
"Sara." Greg spoke softly. "Nick is fine, people change all the time. Sometimes that's just hard to keep up with."
"I-I didn't … eh listen guys I just projected things and that was wrong ok?" Sara sat up straight and looked first Greg then Nick in the eyes.
"It hurt!" Greg sulked.
"I know, and I'm really sorry Greg. You know I love you… like an annoying little brother that is."
"Ha ha." Greg wasn't still quite ready to forgive and forget.
"Seriously, I am really sorry. I mean it's not like I don't like you guys. And to see you happy Nick, that's just awesome." Sara sighed visibly shaking from the high emotional level.
"Thanks I guess." Nick had calmed down.
"How about some coffee?" Greg wanted to ease the tension and coffee was always a good excuse.
Sara stayed for nearly two hours where they talked about nothing and everything. Slowly Greg managed to get an idea on why her reaction had been so hostile and for the first time he realized how miserable her personal life really had been. But he still felt angry with her for the long time she'd taken to come around. He'd known for a while that it hadn't been easy for her, but she'd left out the details until now. It didn't really matter that she had broken their happy moment, because having her back on his side meant so much more than any small celebration with Nick.
Grissom barely quirked an eyebrow when Greg handed him his new address only asked if it would prevent them from running late. The supervisor had also secured them the desired three weeks of vacation and they'd been planning the trip to Iceland to details. One morning after work they'd gone back to the travel agency for a few minor adjustments of the trip and coming out from the agency they'd bumped into Tina Brown. After the compulsory polite exchanges Greg had suggested that they should grab some coffee at the nearest café.
"I don't know how to say this. So I'm just gonna be blunt." Tina stated firmly.
"Warrick is having a hard time dealing with the fact that the two of you are together. Honestly I'm not sure what's eating him. But it's almost like he doesn't want to see you with someone Nick." she said waving her spoon in the air.
"I don't get it." Nick stirred his coffee absentmindedly.
"Neither do I and I really don't know you guys all that well. But that doesn't justify his behavior. You know Nick, sometimes I feel jealous when he talks about you and what you used to do together."
"Maybe he's the one who's jealous?" Greg suggested thinking back to sifting through the remains of Nick's kidnapper.
"Huh?" Nick and Tina looked surprised at him.
"Think about it. You and he used to hang out all the time and now both of you have other priorities. Maybe he just needs to deal with that." Greg said thoughtfully.
"What do I need to deal with?" Warrick's voice boomed towards them.
"Oh hi honey, I ran into Nick and Greg on the way, hope you don't mind." Tina sounded almost apologetic.
Warrick let of an annoyed huff of air before animatedly scraping a chair over the pavement and sit heavily down on it. Under other circumstances Greg would have found it hilarious, but like Nick he tensed in his entire body. Tina placed a calming hand on her husband's arm only to have it shrugged off. Warrick was too preoccupied with staring at Nick, who defiantly held his head high.
"Where were you headed?" Greg opted for small talk with Tina.
"Oh I'd promised Rick here some new shoes, but it's so much easier buying them when the feet are there to try them on." Tina smiled uneasily forcing a light tone.
"Yeah absolutely." Greg focused on Tina and the idle small talk.
Nick kept stirring his coffee with no desire to drink it any longer. Warrick wasn't exactly staring him down, but sat with his arms crossed over his chest in a very hostile posture.
"Rick?" Nick was maniacally searching for the right words.
"What." the normally suave man grunted.
"What's wrong?" in his frantic search for words his mouth lost its patience.
"Nothing!"
"Then why don't you talk to me anymore?" Nick'd had enough and wanted knowledge.
"I do!" Warrick leaned forward making his pose more threatening.
"Yeah right. Ever since I told you about Greg, it's been nothing but work." Nick kept his voice low, but the anger shone through.
"Like I care!" he shot out of the chair so he stood looming over Nick.
"You did once." Nick stood up in defiance. "You used to care about me!"
"I still do." Warrick hissed.
"Funny way you have of showing it then." Nick puffed out his chest to make up for the inches Warrick had on him.
Greg darted a nervous glance at the two men facing off. A pang of jealousy shot through him at Nick words, but Greg knew not to worry. Whenever they'd discussed Warrick, Nick would reassure him that it was him that he loved. That Warrick was more like the brother he'd never had Nick always claimed. Tina shifted on her chair looking ready to jump up and intervene. The stand off had attracted a few onlookers, but the two men seemed oblivious to anything but their argument.
Warrick just breathed hard instead of coming up with an answer. Nick knew his friend well enough to see that the man was on the brink of erupting. Normally he wouldn't push Warrick over the edge, but nothing had worked so far. So he pushed.
"You act like I really did die in that fucking hole."
Warrick flinched at the words, but Nick was on a roll.
"Bet you didn't even talk to the shrink afterwards!"
The clenched jaw and the reddening of Warrick's face only encouraged him to continue.
"Did you really think eloping would do the trick?!"
"Shut up!" Warrick hissed before turning and grabbing Tina by the arm dragging her off.
Deflated Nick dumped down on his chair again. He didn't even bother to look where Warrick was headed. To his relief all Greg did was sit there and wait patiently for him to calm down. The people that had watched them slowly dispersed and Nick wondered just how they had ended up like that.
"I hope I got him thinking." Nick took a sip of his now cold coffee, not noticing the lack of heat.
"Stewing is more his style. I'm sorry Nick, I'm sorry that you've lost him." Greg felt pathetic at the tears coating his voice.
"Well I hope that stewing will help then. What did you talk to Tina about?"
"Smalltalk mostly. She eh well I guess we, agreed on coming over to their place Saturday at ten am for brunch." he fiddled with the spoon not daring to seek eye contact.
"That'll be interesting."
The days until Saturday passed with tons of cases and Nick tried more than once to talk Greg out of going. But Greg stood fast and Nick trusted him enough to believe that it wouldn't be so bad. With a heavy heart Nick parked the truck on the street in front of Warrick's place. Greg jumped out and got the flower arrangement they'd bought for Tina out of the back. Nick took his time to get out and lock the vehicle, while Greg enthusiastically rang the doorbell.
Tina greeted them with a big smile and seemed to be genuinely happy for the flowers. Warrick hung back in the hallway until they had managed to come all the way in and close the door.
Greg gave Nick a gentle push in the back forcing him forward towards his longtime friend.
"Hey?" Nick felt like Bambi getting out on the ice for the first time.
"Hey Bro." Warrick moved forward.
And before Nick knew of it they were exchanging their customary handshake. He vaguely heard Tina and Greg chatter in the background, his focus was entirely on Warrick. The taller man motioned for him to follow. The waft of fried eggs and bacon came from the kitchen and his stomach reminded him of just how long the shift had been. Warrick walked with his usual swagger and just seemed like good ol' Rick to him.
"You wanna see what I've done to the garden?" Warrick continued through the house.
"Sure." Nick followed him with an anxious heart.
Standing on the porch looking over the small back yard Warrick grabbed the railing hard.
"I did you wrong man. I guess I got stuck in that moment when you shot that light out."
Nick moved over to the tense figure and placed a comforting hand on the upper back. Warrick banged his hand on the railing cursing before turning and facing him.
"I honestly thought everything was gonna be alright, but I was pretty thick, I guess."
"Well I kinda never said anything about how bad it really was." Nick struggled against the thickness gathering in his throat.
"It was there for all of us to see…" Warrick paled at the memory.
"Not the easiest thing to deal with afterwards. Listen ‘Rick, I'm here, I'm alive and I'm happy. Can we take it from here, please?"
"Sure bro, sure. And I promise that I'll keep seeing that shrink until I get my head back on right." Warrick gave him a strained smile.
Ever the tactile one Nick took a step forward and enveloped the other man in a crushing hug.
"Were you ever interested in me?" Warrick whispered tentatively.
"When I first laid eyes on you, I thought you were the hottest thing ever." Nick whispered back with his best bedroom voice.
"Damn it Bro." Warrick flinched back from the embrace. "Don't rile me up like that man."
"Sorry. Besides you're not really my type after all." Nick gave him a smile that for once came from his heart.
"Prick." Warrick gave him a swat on the shoulder and headed inside.
They ate the brunch talking about innocent topics like what new was being built on the Strip and the fashion for the upcoming summer. Nick was more than weirded out by how much the other three at the table knew about fashion. But Greg still claimed to love him, style or no style. And at that moment it dawned on him that he had it all, save children. With a mouthful of scrambled eggs, Nick realised that he felt complete.
Greg poured another cup of coffee with a feeling of success. Nick had gotten Warrick back and he'd gotten a mate for life. With a satisfied smile he let his mind wander to the future. There were many things that he wanted, but at the very top were Nick and a family. Had it been anybody else he doubted they'd talked children so early on. But Nick was different. Nick was perfect. Nick was his.
Did your road trip go well?
Is there as much snow as forecasted?
I'm going to the movies with Sofia today.
I hope you guys are ok.
Sara
