Title: No Solace Now
Author: rowandaze
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Pairing: Nick/Warrick
Rating: G
Spoilers: Post Grave Danger
Summary: Following the events of his burial, Nick can no longer find solace.
Disclaimer: They belong to CBS.
A/N: Thanks to Columbo for all her help.

It is the dead of night in the desert he once loved. He used to feel solace amongst the vast expanse of emptiness, a stark contrast to the bustle of the city of Las Vegas but now he feels oppressed by the depth of the darkness that surrounds him. It closes in on him, wraps itself around him, and slowly takes his breath away. The star-filled blanket above him was once the only brightness he would see but it is the stars of dizziness that fill his vision now.

The desert at night is cold. It used to offer him a respite from the sweltering heat of day but now as the air is taken from his lungs he feels only heat engulf his body. It is an unnatural heat that makes his head throb and his pulse race. He feels the irritating trickle of sweat as it runs down the back of his neck. It pools at the base of his shirt where it is tucked neatly into his jeans. In the cold desert air it will cool and begin to chill his overly hot skin.

He cannot see far in the darkness. He used to feel a thrill wondering which of God’s creations could be watching him, coyotes, nighthawks, and geckos but now all he can see are monsters and demons. Monsters and demons that stand 6 feet tall and carry a white cloth and styrofoam cups.

He is rooted to the spot and close to suffocation. He thinks he is going crazy but will not call out for help. It is three months since 24 hours changed his life. He is afraid of his shadow, afraid of the dark but he cannot let them know the depth of his hurt.

It is the dead of night in the desert he once loved and Nick forces himself to pull it together, to be the brave soldier and fight the good fight. He can never tell them his horrors, his anguish, his pain. He fights each night to stay focused, to quash the panic. He fights against the monsters in the dark. He can never tell them. Walter Gordon had taken so much from him but he cannot let him take his life as a CSI and that is what he fears will happen. A man afraid of the dark is a danger to everyone in the field, he knows that’s what they will say so he shakes himself, calms his breathing, pushes his racing pulse to the back of his mind and forces himself to take one step, then two until he manages to walk like a normal person until he reaches the scene.

He avoids Warrick’s eyes because he knows he knows. As damned hard as tries he can’t hide much from Warrick except one thing, one thing that he prays to God Warrick can’t see, that he loves him, that he needs him but Warrick has a wife now and whatever chance there may have been is long gone and promises made to himself in his glass coffin in the ground were pointless and wasted because he waited too long and now Warrick is gone.