Previous part of Tear In Your Hand.

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When they arrived at the restaurant, Jillian Stokes momentarily lost composure at the sight of the battered Greg but quickly regained it. Greg had thought of making a lighthearted jab about domestic disturbances, but just as quickly dismissed it as such a subject was nothing to joke about.

They ordered a round of drinks, and the silence fell. Nick tried gamely to keep a conversation going, focusing on non-controversial matters but he was failing miserably in the withering stare of his mother and the slightly doped-up and uncomfortable attitude of his partner.

Greg embraced his beer like an old friend, thinking to himself that it probably wasn't the best thing to drink while on painkillers but he also didn't really care at the moment.

Nick finally decided to drop all pretences and leaned across to his mother and firmly took her hand. "Mom, I thought we talked about this earlier. You would think that you could just show a little bit of respect for the guy who has saved your son's life many times. For no reason other than that, at least."

Her eyes flashed up on her son. "Is that what this is? Some form of Stockholm's Syndrome?"

Pained but amused, Greg snorted. He leaned over and waved his hand over Nick. "I release you from your bond!"

Although he didn't normally join Greg on snarking, Nick couldn't resist. "I'm cured!"

Jillian Stokes turned back to Greg. "I don't like being mocked."

Greg stared at her evenly, and sounded the most serious Nick had ever heard him, other than the I love yous that crossed between them. "Neither do I." He turned back to Nick, drowning the remains of his beer. "Hey, this is empty. Want to get me another?"

Nick looked at him. "I really don't think---"

His mother gulped down the rest of her wine. "I could do with a refill as well."

Feeling the weight of their combined stares, Nick shrugged in defeat, pushed out his chair and headed off to the bar.

"I'm going to be blunt with you, Mrs Stokes." Greg said, his tone soft but in no way neutral. "I get the feeling that you are a bit more along the road to acceptance of this situation than your husband is. Otherwise you wouldn't be here."

"I love my son."

"I know you do. And you know what? I love him, too."

It was not the first time the word had been uttered between him and his mother-in-law, but Jillian still blanched slightly. "I need that drink."

"Well, so do I, but you're going to hear this anyway. I love Nick. He is the best thing to ever happen to me. Quite frankly, he is the stuff dreams are made of. You do know you raised a great son, don't you? Everybody who meets him know he is the best guy they will ever have the honour of knowing. He does everything for everyone. In fact, he does it too much. And all because he cares about them. He wants to be there for people."

Like any mother, she softened with praise for her child. He could see it in her eyes. So he continued. "And he was there for me when the lab exploded. It was Nick who helped me heal. It was Nick who was there when I felt like my life was nothing, and there was nothing much to care about in life. It was Nick who changed those thoughts." He took a deep breath. "We took it slowly at first, because it was as strange for us as you probably feel it is for you now. And then he almost died."

At those words, Mrs Stokes looked like she was going to be sick. Even after all this time, she was still stricken by the thought of what her son had endured while left in that hole in the ground.

Greg nodded. "I know how you feel. But at least you only saw part of what he went through. You didn't have to watch the person you love suffer... and all the time pretend it wasn't killing you as much as it was because nobody knew you were together..." his voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. "You didn't have to watch him be buried alive and covered in ants, thinking you were witnessing his death. And you were helpless to stop it. I wouldn't wish that on anyone."

"No. Neither would I." Jillian suddenly found herself wishing she could reach across and touch Greg, as if the pain between them could destruct and leave them without the dread of memories again. But she just couldn't. Not yet.

"It was after that, through the months of the strain of a secret relationship, through Nick being unable to sleep, and when he did, waking up screaming..."

"He never told me that."

"Of course he wouldn't. He doesn't open up that easily. God, I probably only knew because I was there."

"You were... living together at the time?"

"Not officially, but we were on our way to it."

"I—I'm glad someone was there for him."

"He's always been there for me."

She blushed slightly. So that was obviously where Nick had gotten it from. "Until we came here this week."

Greg was surprised that he was able to smile slightly. "He had a momentary freak out, that's for sure."

"Is... everything okay now?"

He looked up at the bar, where Nick was only just now being served. "We have some talking to do... but yeah. Everything's fine now." He turned back to look at her. "But there is a hole in him. He needs the love of his family as well. To tell you the truth, it's tearing him up inside."

She bristled slightly. "He has you, apparently. He said he chose you over us."

"Only because he was forced to. If he hadn't been made to feel like that, it would never have even occurred to him. I'm part of his family now. But only part. He needs you and your family as well."

"It's difficult."

Greg laughed bitterly. "Do you think it's been easy for us? I love him. I'm not going anywhere. And for his sake, I hope you're not either."

She opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by Nick arriving and placing glasses before them.

"Sorry I took so long." he said jovially.

His mother rose to leave. "I have to go, Nick."

"Mom, don't..." he implored. "Please stay for a while longer. We haven't even ordered dinner!"

Greg hated seeing his partner plead, every etch of pain visible on his face.

Jillian however, seemed immune. "I really have to go." She hugged him quickly. "I'll call you tomorrow." She looked down at Greg and gave him a cursory nod.

"Mom..." Nick said once more, to her departing back.

He sighed, and slumped into his chair. "What happened?"

Greg groaned and leaned his head into his unbandaged hand. "Oh, Nicky, I'm so sorry. I just wanted to try and make things better. I thought if I put everything on the table..." he trailed off. "I just wanted her to see how much I loved you. As if that would suddenly wake her up."

"We've done all we can, babe." Nick said softly. "It's not up to us anymore."

Greg reached across and took the abandoned wine, washing it down in three gulps.

"Hey!" Nick protested.

Greg then picked up his beer. "You're lucky I am not making you get back up and get a jug."

"They call it a carafe." Nick said absentmindedly.

"You can still go, you know." Greg said suddenly. "We've already been through the wars this week. You still have enough time to leave and for it not to kill me."

Nick reached across, and in full view of the other diners took his hand uncompromisingly. "I'm here for keeps. You're stuck with me now."

"I'm going to hold you to that."

There was the sound of a clearing throat. They looked back up.

Jillian Stokes hovered over them once more. Her eyes flickered down briefly to their hands upon the table, and away again.

Nick released Greg's hand and jumped up. "Mom!"

Looking uncomfortable, she spoke with a shaky but pleasant tone. "I just realised I forgot to say... I would like us to meet up again for dinner before your father and I leave next week."

"That would be nice." Greg chimed in, while Nick stood there gaping slightly.

She gave him a more friendly nod this time, and turned back to her son. "I'll try to convince your father to come. I don't know how successful I'll be, but Ill try."

Nick coloured with pleasure, and took her in for a hug. "I love you, Mom."

"I love you too," she said, and then whispered in his ear, "That Greg... he's okay."

It was high praise indeed, coming from her. When his oldest sister had gotten married, it had taken her four months to address her husband by his first name.

"He's the best." Nick whispered.

"That's what he said about you." she smiled, and wiped away a tear that threatened to spill. "I'll call you tomorrow."

She moved as if to walk off, then turned to Greg. "Your arm... how did it really happen?"

He shot Nick a panicked look. "Um... at the office."

"Did you fall?"

Nick grimaced.

Greg took a deep breath. "No... I got attacked by a perp."

She shuddered visibly. "I don't know why you two are in that line of work."

"Someone has to do it, Mom." Nick reiterated an old argument between them.

"Is it too much to ask that it isn't you?"

"Well, technically, it was Greg who was injured..."

Greg snickered into his chest.

"Explosions. Hold ups. Live burials." cried Mrs Stokes, dismayed.

"Stalk---" Greg decided not to finish his sentence.

Her eyes still bright, too bright, Mrs Stokes readjusted the handle of her handbag. "Take care of each other. Good night."

"Good night." they chorused in return, watching her leave again.

"Wow." Greg said, dumbfounded as she exited the restaurant.

"Yeah, wow." Nick smiled.

"That went better than I thought it would."

"You did a good job."

"Maybe third time will be the charm with your dad."

"I get the feeling you may just be able to achieve it." Nick said in awe, wondering if there was any way he could ever love this guy more than he did right now.

"And now I'm hungry. Let's order." Greg hid behind his menu for a moment, so Nick couldn't see how close he was to crying with relief that things were finally going right again.

***

Nick emerged from the bathroom, having changed into his black sleeping pants and tight blue shirt. He settled on the second couch across from Greg, his bare feet braced against the arm. Greg could smell the mint of his toothpaste, even from where he sat.

"How are you feeling?" Nick asked him.

"A bit drowsy, and a bit sore. But buzzing from the alcohol, which is nice."

"Will you live?" Nick grinned.

"I think I'll survive."

"You will as long as I'm here to take care of you."

Greg grew serious, although he didn't want to break the air of joviality. "I'm glad you will be here."

Nick sat up. "I'm not going anywhere. I wish I hadn't made you doubt me."

Silence fell between them.

Looking at the floor, too afraid to look into his lover's eyes, Nick sighed and asked what felt impossible to get out. "Do you wish you hadn't asked me to come back so soon? That we had... waited a while?"

Greg reached across, and gently held Nick's chin in his hand. He raised it so Nick could see him properly. "Hell no."

Nick leaned in towards them, and they kissed. It was a slow kiss, full of yearning, of time that had been lost, sadness, joy and relief all rolled into one.

As they broke apart, Nick gave a short laugh. "Hell no. They're my two favourite words ever."

"They sound pretty good to me, too."

"I think it's time you got some sleep. Come on, let's go to bed."

"I'm going to sleep out here." At Nick's crestfallen look, he quickly added "I just think if I lie down in bed I'll end up rolling on this damn arm."

"Then do you mind if I sleep out here with you?"

"Ha, aren't we a bit too old for slumber parties?"

"Stop answering my questions with a question. That's what I do, remember?"

"I know." Greg smiled at him, the hardness in his heart that he had been feeling towards Nick for the past week quickly disintegrating with each moment he was back in the house. Where he belonged. "I would love it if you slept out here."

Nick disappeared into the bedroom, and Greg leaned back against the back of his couch. He fumbled in his backpack for the meds that the hospital had supplied him, and he crunched on a couple. As he swallowed, Nick returned with a pile of pillows and blankets.

Nick positioned a pillow behind his head, and Greg sighed. "This may be the best slumber party I have ever been to."

"I'm glad I'm at it."

"Me too."

Nick began to make himself a bed on the other couch.

"Nicky?"

He turned to look at him.

"Y'know, there's room for two on here."

Nick couldn't contain the involuntary, shit-eating grin that spread across his face. "Yeah?"

"Yeah!" Greg mimicked him. "Okay, it might be a bit squishy..."

"You sure it's not too soon? I mean, I only came back tonight..."

"Where did you go?" Greg asked quizzically.

"Is it that simple?" Nick asked, an edge of hope in his voice.

"It is tonight. And I don't think it will be any different tomorrow,"

"I love you." Nick said, his eyes gleaming slightly.

"Shut up, and come here."

Nick moved over to him. Their bodies fitted together as if they had never been apart. Nick leaned in against his chest, and Greg pulled him towards himself with his free arm. Through Nick's t-shirt he could feel the warm of his body, and the rapid beat of his heart. Nick's hair tickled his cheek and he could smell the coconut wax he used in it. Greg closed his eyes briefly, and thought of how empty he had felt the past week without him.

Nick could feel the rapid beat of Greg's heart against his back. He didn't know how he had survived the past week, and he wasn't sure how he could have gone on if he hadn't been forgiven and taken back. For the first time in a fortnight he suddenly felt at peace again.

"How's your arm?" he asked again, for the final time that night.

"I don't feel any pain at all." Greg murmured drowsily.

Nick lay there, hoping that the words meant Greg was talking about the past week as well, and felt him slip away into sleep.

"Neither do I." Nick whispered, smiling.

And with Greg resting, he could finally rest as well. He put his left hand over Greg's, which was lying against his side, and his other hand fell against Greg's right thigh. They slept that way until morning.


"Take me, don't leave me
Love will come through,
it's just waiting for you"
- Travis, "Love Will Come Through"

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