Title: Vested Intertest
By: geekwriter
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: PG
Summary: One of many ideas thrown around at the table while eating Thai food with all the other Hyenas (Girlnorth, Rainydaypsycho, ZoeMargaret, Stareyednight, CarolineCrane, Nekosmuse, Cinderlily, and Minotaurs) in LA. This one made me laugh the most, so I had to write it. Warrick discovers something he really didn't want to know.

"Nice vest," Warrick said, rolling his eyes as he passed Nick.

"What?" Nick asked. He tugged at the armhole of it and rolled his shoulders. It did feel a little tight, but nothing noticeable. It wasn't like wearing his vest was odd or anything. Everyone was wearing their vests, including Warrick, so he didn't quite get why Warrick had been eyeing him ever since they'd gotten to the scene.

"Dude," Warrick said softly, "you might, uh, want to look at things before you put them on."

Nick looked at him. "What?" he asked again.

Warrick sighed and looked at the front of Nick's vest, then looked over at Greg, who was examining something on the floor. "Your vest?" he said. "Says 'Sanders' on the front. Sanders' vest says 'Stokes.'" He gestured in Greg's direction with the ALS in his hand, then froze.

Nick swallowed hard when he saw the stains glowing brightly on the back of Greg's vest-his vest.

Warrick turned to look at Nick, and as he did the ALS hit the front of Nick's vest-Greg's vest-and Warrick closed his eyes. "Yeah," Warrick said softly, "that is way more than I ever needed to know."

Nick looked down at the stain splashed across the front of the vest and cleared his throat. "I, uh..." He took the ALS from Warrick's hand. "I'll finish up in here."

"That's probably a good idea," Warrick said. He gave Greg another glance before heading to the next room, muttering to himself as he went.

Nick sighed and knelt down next to Greg. "You just had to insist on wearing our vests, didn't you?" he asked in a harsh whisper.

Greg looked over at him. "What?"

"Besides the fact that you're wearing my vest and I'm wearing yours..." Nick shone the ALS on the front of his vest so Greg could see the semen stain on the front of it.

Greg laughed softly.

"It's not funny. I didn't notice it; Warrick did."

Greg bit his lip and nodded. "Not funny," he said. "Got it."

"I'm not kidding, Greg. He knows. He saw that we're wearing each other's vests and he when the ALS hit them he saw the stains."

Greg nodded and smirked as his eyes traveled up Nick's frame, still illuminated by the ALS. "Yeah. Then it's probably a good thing he didn't shine it on your hair."

"What?" Nick asked, reaching up.

Greg reached up to catch Nick by the wrist. "Don't rub it out here," he said, "you'll contaminate the scene."

"I'm not walking around all day with cum in my hair."

"It's not visible with the naked eye," Greg told him. "Just, uh, keep the ALS below neck level and you'll be fine." He undid his vest slowly and let it fall off his shoulders.

"What are you doing?" Nick asked in a harsh whisper.

"Trading back," Greg said. "Unless you want Grissom to notice we're wearing the wrong vests next."

Nick frowned but he quickly undid the vest and took it off. He definitely didn't want Grissom to notice.

"And," Greg said as he shrugged his own vest on, "I'd just like to state for the record that I wanted you to wear your old police uniform and you're the one who suggested we wear the vests, instead."

Nick frowned as he fastened his own vest up. "You're still the one that started it."

"You're the one who gave me your Dallas PD sunglasses."

"I didn't expect you to wear them!"

Warrick cleared his throat from the doorway. "Uh, you guys got everything under control in here?" he asked, keeping his eyes averted.

Nick stood up quickly. "We're cool," he said.

Warrick nodded. "Good, man. Good. I..." he looked from Nick to Greg, then back again. "I, um...yeah. I'm gonna head down to the morgue and see what Doc's got for us. You two, um...yeah. I'm just gonna go."

"I think he's taking it well," Greg said as he thumbed through his crime scene kit, smiling as he purposefully ignored Nick's pointed stare.