Title: Walk Into the Future
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Nick Stokes
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Rating: PG-13
Table: Angst, mission_insane
Prompt: 5, Regret
Author's Note: Post-ep for the S11 CSI: Vegas episode "Cello and Goodbye", and a sequel to the Greg/Nick fic "Time For Letting Go". Completely unrelated to the other Greg/Nick series that I write.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Nick Stokes, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Nick glanced around him, feeling uncomfortable about being here in the cemetery where Jonah was buried when Greg hadn't asked him to come here. This had been something that Greg had insisted on doing alone, but Nick couldn't help worrying about him.

His boyfriend had been slowly pulling away from the melancholy that had surrounded him since Jonah's death; he didn't want to see Greg fall back into that. He didn't blame the younger man for grieving, but even the worst grief had to come to an end sometime.

It was past time that Greg tried to put his grief aside and get on with his life, Nick told himself firmly. And even if it amounted to a kind of "tough love," he was going to make sure Greg did exactly that. This kind of grieving wasn't healthy, and he couldn't let it go on.

Was he somehow still jealous of Jonah? he asked himself, feeling a little guilty for his assertions. Jonah had been the man who Greg had chosen over him; there had to be something about him that attracted the other man, something that Greg saw in him that Nick hadn't.

Maybe he just hadn't seen that good side because he wasn't looking for it, Nick thought with a sigh. He didn't dislike Jonah; the one time he'd met the man, he'd thought that if they didn't both want to be with Greg, they might have even been friends.

But that didn't bear thinking about now. Jonah was gone, and Greg had to move on. Nick didn't begrudge him the chance to come here and put flowers on Jonah's grave, but he'd done that just a week ago. Being here now seemed more than a little excessive.

With a sigh, Nick started to head into the cemetery, but as he took a step forward, he saw Greg coming towards him, a small smile on his lips. The smile disappeared when he saw Nick, turning into a frown as his steps quickened to bring him to Nick's side.

"Nick, what are you doing here?" he asked, sounding worried. "Did something happen?" He obviously thought that there was some kind of emergency at the crime lab, or worse, at home. Nick could see it in his eyes; he thought that something awful had happened.

He instantly felt guilty for putting that look into Greg's eyes. He hadn't realized that his coming here would instantly make his boyfriend think the worst; Greg had been through too much lately not to think in those terms. He probably wondered if he'd lost yet another person in his life.

Nick shook his head, reaching out to place a hand on Greg's shoulder. "No, baby, nothing's wrong," he said softly, suddenly wishing that he hadn't come here, that he'd let Greg do whatever he had to do here on his own without butting in. "I was just worried about you, that's all."

"You think I'm coming here too much, don't you?" Greg asked, his voice soft. He shook his head, sighing softly and closing his eyes. "I'm not here to grieve over Jonah, Nick. I'm here for another reason. To let him go, finally. It's past time I did that."

Nick felt his heart leap in his chest at Greg's words; he hadn't thought that his boyfriend was going to come to this kind of realization for a while yet, even though in his opinion, it should already have happened. "Want to talk about it?" he asked, keeping his voice soft and gentle.

To his further surprise, Greg nodded as they fell into step with each other. "Yeah, I think I'm ready to talk about Jonah," he said, his voice very soft. "I know you might not want to hear about my relationship with him, but you don't have anything to be jealous of, Nicky."

"I know I don't," Nick murmured, feeling ashamed that he had ever been jealous of Jonah. It had been wrong of him to feel that way; if he had made Greg happy,and Greg had wanted to spend the rest of his life with him, then he should have been happy for the two of them.

"Let's not talk about everything here," Greg said with a sigh, looking around him. "I just came here to .... well, to talk to Jonah. To tell him that even though I've got some regrets about my life, being with him wasn't one of them. I just regret that we didn't have more time together."

"I understand that," Nick told him, knowing in his heart that he truly did understand. He might never have lost anyone he was in love with in the way that Greg had, but he could relate to why Greg felt that he had to come here to let the past go. "I do, Greg."

"I regret not telling him that I loved him every day," Greg whispered, looking back into the cemetery, as if he could see Jonah's grave from where they stood at the edge of the parking lot. "I should have done that. But I think he knew, even if I didn't always say it."

"I'm sure he did," Nick said softly, throwing caution to the winds and sliding his arms around Greg, pulling him close. "He knew you loved him, Greg. He didn't always have to hear it. I know he felt it in his heart. And he could see it in your eyes, every time you looked at him."

He himself saw that love in Greg's eyes everything time his boyfriend looked at him. Maybe that love had always been there, even when they weren't together. Jonah had been right, Nick told himself. Greg might have loved elsewhere at the same time, but their love had never ended.

The two of them were meant to be together. He was sorry that a good man was dead, and even more sorry that Greg had been hurt in such a horrible way. But maybe fate had intended for things to work out like this, to bring them back to each other, where they belonged.

"I'll never regret loving him, or being with him," Greg told Nick, looking directly into his eyes. "But I was meant for you, Nicky. Jonah knew it, and we both know it. He was one of the best things that ever happened to me, but it's time to move on, and put those old regrets aside."

Nick could do nothing but nod in agreement to Greg's words. He'd thought that for quite a while now, but he knew that he had been right to let Greg grieve. He would have wanted Greg to do the same for him, if their places were reversed. It was only fair.

It would still be some time before Greg had completely healed; he knew that. And he was still willing to give his boyfriend the time he needed. But it seemed as though Greg was finally well on the way to doing that, and Nick was grateful that he'd managed to get this far.

He wouldn't deny Greg the right to visit Jonah's grave in the future; maybe he'd even come here once in a while, too, just to let Jonah know that he was taking care of Greg. Jonah would have wanted him to do that -- and he would have wanted them to be happy together.

"Come on, babe. Let's go home," he told Greg, reaching out to take his boyfriend's hand. This was a good beginning to the rest of their lives, he told himself with an inward smile. Greg was finally turning away from the past, and starting to heal.

It might still take a while for that to happen -- and he might have to deal with a few regrets before he could finally walk into the future. But as far as Nick was concerned, it was brave of him to be taking those first steps -- and he intended to head towards that future as well, right by Greg's side.

***

Next story in series - You Can't Put Your Arms Around A Memory.