Title: The Way Of Love
By: Aiden
Pairing: Mac/Danny & Horatio/Speed
Warning: dark thoughts, angst, disability (amputation)
Rating: FRAO.
Beta: The always wonderful Becca/Paul *hugs* Hey he came up with the title, again.
Summary: He wanted to die.
Author's note: This is an AU Mac is with CSI Danny is an Army Ranger serving in Iraq. He gets severely wounded after an explosion, resulting in loosing both his legs.

***

He regained consciousness and someone was yelling at him, "Danny stay with me okay! Where is that damn chopper!"

"Mike?" Danny tried to figure out what happened.

"You're gonna be okay, you hear. Just stay with me," He was glad the morphine was working, Danny wasn't in any severe pain.

He nodded, what happened? The last thing he remembered was driving the hummer and laughing with the guys and then, nothing. He felt light headed and in a daze, what did they give him he didn't feel a thing. That was good right, nothing was wrong with him? He lifted his head and looked at his body; it seemed to be all in one piece. He let his eyes wander further down, where were his legs? That's when it dawned on him, where were his legs? "MIKE, MIKE WHERE ARE THEY?" he started screaming.

Mike laid his hands on Danny's shoulders and tried to keep him down, "Easy Danny, you'll be okay." He looked up when he heard the chopper approaching, finally.

"NO, LET ME DIE, I WANT TO DIE!" Danny started to struggle against Mike firm grip. The chopper landed and two men jumped out with the gurney and a backboard running towards them. They put him on the backboard and strapped him tightly onto it, making sure he couldn't move.

"Okay on three," they lifted the board onto the gurney and where in the chopper and air born in minutes. "How do you feel?" Mike bent over to his friend.

"Why didn't you let me die?" Danny yelled.

~.~

Mac was dozing off in the chair next to the bed, holding Danny's hand. He had been in and out of consciousness for the last couple days, they gave him meds to make sure he wasn't in any pain. He had a crushed pelvis, broken right hip, concussion, they had to operate on him twice because of an internal bleeding and he had lost both his legs. He jerked awake when Danny squeezed his hand, "Danny?" Mac stood, "Come on Danny, wake up."

The young man slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times. "Mac?"

"Hey babe," Mac smiled. "You know where you are?"

Danny tried to remember, "Hospital?" he looked around, trying to focus on his surroundings. "Why am I at the hospital?"

"You don't remember?" Mac looked at him closely, he saw that Danny was trying to concentrate.

"I'm just so tired," Danny closed his eyes, already dozing off.

"Go back to sleep," Mac bent over and kissed his forehead. He sighed, Mike had told him exactly what had happened and what Danny had said. He was an ex-marine and had seen and heard it before, soldiers who where wounded on the battlefield begging to let them die. He was scared, scared of how Danny would react to the fact he had lost his legs.

He heard the door open and looked up, "She wanted her daddy," the woman said, holding a little girl in her arms.

Mac took her in his arms, "Hey Sweetie."

"Daddy, pappy hurt?" She pointed at Danny.

"Yes pumpkin, pappy hurt. But pappy will be okay, I promise."

"How is he?" the woman asked.

"He woke up a few minutes ago, he doesn't seem to remember what happened," he smiled at her. "I'm not sure how I can thank you for being here, Lisa."

"That's okay, I'm glad I could help. Aiden called she is going to be here in a few minutes."

"Mac?" he turned around seeing Danny awake again.

He walked over to the bed, "Look who's awake."

"Pappy," the little girl stretched out her arms.

"No babe, pappy needs to rest. You can stay with pappy in a few days okay, why don't you go with Aunt Lisa to find something to drink?" He handed her over to Lisa.

"Let's see if we can find something, okay?" She smiled at Mac and walked out of the room.

"Do you remember something?" Mac moved back to Danny's side.

"I...I'm not sure," He saw the frown on the young man's forehead. "I remember the guys and me talking, I was driving."

Mac nodded, "Yeah that's right, you where driving." He was glad the meds helped, he didn't seem to be in any pain.

"Charlie was telling a joke and we started laughing and then...," his eyes went wide and Mac knew he remembered.

"Babe look at me, you're gonna be okay." He saw the panic in Danny's eyes.

The young man lifted his head and he saw it, "No," he whispered. "NO!" he screamed.

"Please Danny, babe look at me."

"Why didn't he let me die! I begged him to let me die!"

Aiden who was just walking towards the door, stopped in her tracks. "Oh Danny," a sob escaping her lips.

***

Mac walked out of the room seeing Aiden standing there, "How is he?" she asked.

"They gave him something, he'll be out of it at least for a couple hours."

"He wants do die?" Aiden walked over to Mac and started to cry again.

Mac took her in his arms and sighed, "When I was in the service I saw a lot of good soldiers break down after they found out what happened to them. Danny is a strong person and with our help he will get better, physically as well as mentally." Providing he wants to get better, he thought. "Lets get something to eat, we'll check on him later, okay?"

~.~

An hour later they walked back into Danny's room the young man was still fast asleep. Aiden moved towards the bed well aware of what he didn't have anymore. There should be two strong legs instead there was emptiness, nothing. "Will he walk again?"

Mac knew what she meant, "The doctor said his residual limbs are long enough, he can be fitted with prosthetics."

"You can't tell due to all those bandages," Aiden explained.

Mac sighed, "His right one ends two inches below his hips, his left one three inches."

Aiden tried to smile, "You know his uncle lost his legs too during the war, he was stationed in Pearl Harbor. Danny told me he would tell stories about his time in the army and that's when he knew he wanted to be a soldier too. The fact his uncle had no legs never stopped him to do the things he loved to do," she sighed, "I hope it won't stop him either."

"It will be tough, but we will help him."

She nodded her head, "I'll hope he'll be okay."

"He knew when he became a soldier that the possibility was there he would be shipped out to dangerous places but it didn't stop him to apply for the Army Rangers. Don't get me wrong I was scared the day he was shipped out to Iraq but I never told him not to go. I understand his sense of duty, I've been there too."

She looked down when Danny squeezed her hand, "Hey there," he slowly opened his eyes.

"Aiden?" he sighed, smiling at her but then he fell asleep again.

~.~

The next day Aiden and Mac walked into the room, seeing that Danny was asleep. She walked over to him and took his hand, he slowly woke up, "Danny-Boy how you're doing?" she smiled at him. He turned his head, not wanted to look at her certain she would pity him. Mac saw her anger rise, " You look at me Danny Messer. Don't think for one minute I pity you. I know exactly what you have said the day you woke up, Mac told me. You have a partner who loves you very much and a little girl who worships you. So you better make sure you get better so you guys can go on with your lives like it was before."

"Before? It will never be like before!" Danny yelled, "Look at me, I'm a cripple!"

"You stop that right now," Mac demanded.

"How can you still love me? I'm half a man!"

Mac's anger rose, "Don't think for one minute I love you less because of what happened to you. I still love you no matter what, we'll get through this together."

"Leave me alone, get the fuck out of here!" Mac and Aiden didn't budge and that just made him angrier, "I don't want to see you anymore!" he yelled at Mac. Aiden saw the flash of pain in the older man's eyes. "Get out!"

A nurse hurried in, hearing the commotion, "I think you better leave for now, I'll give him a sedative to calm him down."

They walked out of the room, "Mac, he didn't mean that it's the anger and frustration that makes him react like that," Aiden laid a hand on his arm.

Mac smiled at her sadly, "Don't worry I won't give up on him, I love him and we will get through this together."

Someone cleared his throat, excuse me are you Mac Taylor?" they turned around and saw a scruffy young man walking up to them.

"Yes I am and this is Aiden Burn," he shook the young man's hand.

"I'm Timothy Speedle, a friend of Danny's. How is he?"

"Giving up." Aiden sighed.

"Giving up? He's a fuckin' Army Ranger, they don't give up." Speed stated.

***

Mac and Aiden stood outside Danny's room and Mac winced every time Danny started to yell at his friend, the young man cursed like a sailor and then some. He was amazed Speed could stay so calm, the young man hadn't raised his voice once.

"Get the fuck out of here!" Danny yelled.

"So you're gonna give up, just like that?" Speed wasn't impressed by his yelling and cursing.

"What's it to you?"

Speed shrugged his shoulders, "Nothing. But you have a partner who loves you very much and a daughter who thinks the world of you. How do you think they feel right now?"

"I'm no good to them now, look at me I'm a fuckin' cripple!"

"So you think Mac cares about that, he's just happy you're alive."

"You call this living?"

Speed looked down and sighed, "Remember Andrew? He didn't give up, he wanted to live despite of the fact he was paralyzed from the neck down. And your uncle remember him he had no legs either but that didn't stop him to do the things he wanted to do, right?"

Danny looked down, a sob escaping his lips, "I'm scared."

Speed opened the door, "Mac, he needs you."

Mac walked in towards Danny and took him in his arms, "Oh babe, we'll get through this together. You're not alone, never."

Aiden moved to the other side of the bed, "We're here for you."

Mac held him in his arms and rocked back and forth with tears in his eyes, "I will always love you no matter what."

Danny looked up, "Promise?"

Mac smiled and kissed him, "I promise."

Speed smiled and silently excited the room, "Everything okay?" he looked up seeing H walking up to him.

"Yeah I think everything will be okay now," he smiled, wrapping his arms around the redheads waist.

H held him tight, "You want to stay for a few days?"

Speed leaned into him, "If that's okay with you?"

"Of course, already booked us into a hotel."

"I love you," Speed whispered.

"I love you too."

***

The next couple months Danny had his ups and downs, a plastic cast was made from his stumps and his prosthetics where getting made. In the meantime he had physical therapy, building up his upper body strength, working on his balance and learn how to get around in a wheelchair. The first few weeks he cursed everyone and everything that got in his way, nurses, doctors, bumping into stuff with his chair. When Aiden or Mac where his victims they both gave him a piece of there minds and Speed just was his calm self, raising an eyebrow and asked if he was ready ranting or needed some more time. Danny had a change in hell getting him angry and Mac admired the young man for that, Horatio just smiled and commented, "it's his nature." But it got better with the weeks passing and Danny adjusted fine to his disability and became very good in manoeuvring his wheelchair.

They where all in his room when Danny's doctor walked in, "good morning all," he greeted them. "Danny you had a good night, the nurse told me you had some phantom pain?"

Danny nodded, "yeah but it's better now."

"Good, you're getting your new legs today."

"I am?" he was practically bouncing, "finally going to walk again."

"Wow easy there tiger," Aiden laughed.

"You need a lot of practice before you're able to walk and it will be with crutches for a while first. Also you have to learn how to keep your stumps clean when you're wearing your prosthetics, don't want you to get any infections."

"Yeah I know," Danny smiled.

~.~

They where all in the gym watching how Danny was fitted with his new legs, "okay Danny now put your hands on the bars and try to stand," his physical therapist said.

"Okay," Danny put his hands on the bars and slowly stood, trying to get his balance.

"How does that feel?"

"Strange," Danny explained.

"That's normal, don't forget these aren't your real legs." Danny nodded. "Why don't you try to take a few steps."

Danny hesitated, not sure if he could, "I don't know."

"Don't worry, I'm here," his therapist moved in front of him, "just a few steps."

Danny nodded, took a deep breath and concentrated on his right leg.

Mac saw the frown appearing on his lovers forehead and held his breath, "Mac breathe," Horatio whispered. Mac looked at his friends, smiled and focused his eyes back onto Danny, willing the leg to move.

And it did, not more then an inch but it moved.

"Mac did you see that?" Danny looked over at him with the brightest smile on his face.

"Yeah I did," he felt tears prickling in his eyes. Again Danny concentrated on his other leg, biting his tongue and it moved also an inch. Mac just looked at his lover oblivious to his surroundings, he walked over to him and kissed him, "I'm so proud of you."

Danny looked at him beaming with pride, "wow I'm gonna walk again."

Aiden and the others walked over to them, she took him in a tight hug.

He staggered but she held on to him, "you are, you are."

~.~

He practiced really hard and after two months he could walk with crutches, slow but he was walking, "I think it's time for you to go back out there," his therapist said.

"You think I'm ready?"

"You're more then ready, never saw anyone as stubborn as you are to learn so fast."

Mac had heard the last sentence when he walked in, "when Danny has set his mind on something you can't change it."

"Hi Mac," Danny stood and walked over to him.

"Well look at you," Mac took him in his arms and claimed his mouth.

Danny responded and deepened it. Someone cleared his throat, "don't want to spoil the fun, but why don't you take him home to continue this."

"Sorry Peter," Danny blushed.

"No worries, I know how much you missed that."

Danny walked over to him and hugged him, "thanks for everything, not sure if I could have made it without your help."

"I'm pretty sure you would but you're very welcome and it isn't over yet. You still need therapy to improve your balance and gate so you will be able to walk with just a cane one day."

Danny smiled, "I know and I will."

"Knowing you I know you will," Peter laughed.

Mac who had joined him shook his hand, "thanks for all the help, I know he can be a handful."

"Hey I resent that," Danny pouted.

They both started to laugh, "you are a handful," Peter commented.

"That's why I love you so much," Mac kissed him again. "Let's go home."

***

Danny was laying on his back on the bed. Mac was on top of him straddling his hips, "Just relax and enjoy the ride. Close your eyes."

Danny did so and he trembled with anticipation, he had missed this so much the last couple of months. Mac slowly started to kiss his closed eyelids, "I love you so much," He said between kisses.

"Love you too," Danny wanted to say more but Mac pressed a finger to his lips.

"Shh, don't talk, just feel." He started to kiss him lightly, his forehead, temples, cheeks, nose and moved to his right earlobe biting it so gently, whispering, "You're beautiful."

Danny moaned and moved his hands up to cup Mac's face, "Kiss me already."

"Are we a little impatient?" Mac just smiled and kissed him lightly on his mouth. "Not yet," He moved his tongue over Danny's lower lip. Danny growled low in his throat but didn't say anything, letting Mac explore his body. The Marine started to kiss and lick his neck and moved to a spot between his shoulder and neck. The one where he knew his lover was very sensitive, he bit down marking him as his own, "A little reminder to let you know who you belong to."

Danny's breath hitched for a moment as Mac left his mark, "I was always yours," He stated.

Mac continued kissing his shoulder and down towards his chest never stopping for a moment. He took Danny's right nipple between his teeth, licking and biting it till it was a hard nub, repeating the same movements with his left one.

The young man arched into the wet caress, and running his fingers threw Mac's hair and moaned his name.

Mac moved further down and run his tongue over Danny's belly button.

"You have a wicked tongue," Danny growled when Mac dipped his tongue into it.

Mac lifted his head and looked straight into Danny's eyes, seeing emotions passing in them. He leaned back up and took his younger lover's mouth into a heated and demanding kiss. Danny answered and kissed him like there would be no tomorrow, "I'm not going anywhere," Mac assured him when they broke it off.

"I want you now," Danny said in a voice raw with emotion.

"You're sure?" Mac looked at him searching for any sign of fear or hesitation in his eyes but all he could see was love.

Danny nodded and turned over to lay on his stomach and put a pillow under his hips, remembering what Peter had told him, 'The best way for you to have sex and Mac wants to be on top, is on your stomach and a pillow under your hips'. He had laughed when he'd seen the look on Danny's face. 'Trust me on this one,' He had simply said. So he put a pillow under his hips and felt how Mac started to kiss a trail down his back.

"We will do this slowly," Mac kissed the younger man's round ass cheeks, sliding/flicking his tongue between the crack and over the blonde's puckered hole. A shiver ran through Danny's body when Mac continued swirling his tongue over his entrance, "We'll take our time with this." He carefully moved his hands down and touched the right stump, hesitated for a moment not knowing how Danny would react. But when he felt the younger man relax under his touches he continued caressing the short stumps and moved back up, put some lube on his fingers and inserted one inside his tight hole, "You're very tight, let me know if I hurt you."

Danny nodded unable to speak, he grabbed the sheets and arched his head backwards a moan escaping his lips. Mac inserted a second finger, moving in and out till he was sure the young man was stretched enough. He put some lube on his already hard and throbbing cock, positioned himself and slowly entered Danny, ready to pull back if he gave any sign of discomfort. "You okay?" He felt the muscles tense for a second but relaxing the next.

"Yeah, oh yeah...this feels so good please...please don't stop," Danny panted.

Mac, satisfied with the answer, slowly started to move in and out, letting his hands wander over the muscled shoulders and back. He bent over and kissed the young man's neck and started leaving a trail of kisses on his back.

Danny arched into the touches a whimper escaping his lips. "Danny?"

"Harder...please...I need this."

Mac started to move faster and harder, hitting that one spot he knew would drive his lover crazy. "Oh my god, please...don't stop...need this," Danny panted.

"I...I can't hold it," He was on the edge. "Have to come," Mac teetered over the edge and came screaming Danny's, filling his body with his warm cum. He slowly pulled out of him and checked for any injuries, when he was satisfied that Danny was okay he laid down and pulled the young man in his arms, seeing that he had tears in his eyes, "Oh babe did I hurt you?"

"No," Danny sniffed. "Thank you," he simply said.

Mac hugged him tight and took his mouth in a heated and searing kiss, "Welcome home."

THE END?

***

Next story in series - New Beginning.