Title: When Good CSIs Go Bad
By: Sam
Pairing: Horatio/Speed/Eric/Ryan
Fandom: CSI: Miami
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Semi crack!fic where Horatio finally does his job and ends the petty bickering between his CSIs. Oh and Speed's not dead. Hint of bdsm, slash.


"I hear someone has been misbehaving." Horatio drawled, tapping a ruler against the palm of one hand. Favoring his two employees, he purred, "So who has been a really bad CSI?"

Speed hadn't even been in the lab for months but one look at the older man standing in the middle of the hallway, tapping that ruler with a rhythmic slap of wood on flesh and the gone-but-not-forgotten CSI immediately stopped his griping with Eric and raised his hand, saying, "I have!"

Eric elbowed him, glaring, muttering, "Hey cut it out! You weren't even here! I did the crime, I'll do the…" His look, too, had him swallowing in anticipation. "Time. Oh man."

"Well I want to be punished, too!" Speed shot back.

"Get in line!" Eric shoved.

Speed shoved back. "Yeah – the front."

"What about Ryan?" Eric licked his lips, suddenly thinking of the new guy – the annoying as hell but hot in an annoying as hell way new guy – with his ass in the air being spanked by H with that ruler. He shivered and swallowed again. "I mean he's been bad, too."

"He's the reason you've been bad..." Speed snickered.

Only to have Eric retort, "You're the reason I've been bad."

"Me? What did I do? I - "

"You haven't been here!"

" - haven't even been here! Oh." Realizing how the protest might have a detrimental effect on his chances of being punished, Speed hastened to add, "Even though I've still been bad! Just…somewhere else?"

"Heh, yeah…where else?"

Speed only offered him a sultry little heated, "Wouldn't you like to know…"

Of course that only meant Eric had to lean closer to Speed when he admitted, "Yeah I would actually…"


Before the two men leaning into each other could make contact, their boss – forgotten for the moment because, apparently Speed wasn't the only one who hadn't been there in the lab for a while – cleared his throat of quite a bit of audible husk. "Eric. Speed. I want you to go find Wolfe and bring him to my office, please." Said in that mild, deceptively pleasant tone, both men stopped their Unresolved Sexual Tension –filled snarking and looked at Horatio.

"Calleigh, too?" Speed deadpanned innocently. Eric groaned, now realizing that the smaller man was deliberately baiting the redhead. Speed must really want a spanking in the worst way. Eric grinned. And he wanted to watch.

Horatio just smiled slightly, having come to that conclusion long ago but unable to do anything about it before Speed had disappeared, leaving him stuck with a new man and a debilitating guilt trip. Not to mention UST of his own. "That won't be necessary, " he denied. "Alexx is taking care of her – it – as we speak."

"I bet," Speed smirked, asking, "Should I make the popcorn?"

"Not if you want to be able to sit down tomorrow," Horatio advised. "Get moving. My office, five minutes. And boys," he added as both Speed and Eric turned to hustle, big grins on their faces. "Let's not tell Ryan what he's in for, alright? It will be our little surprise, gentlemen."

Eric's grin grew a little evil. "You got it H."

"And we're going to get it," Speed snickered, he and Eric taking the lab stairs two at a time, pushing and shoving in their haste to find Wolfe and get back to Horatio's den. (Everyone knew Horatio's office became a Play Den when the shades were drawn, didn't they? Of course they did. How else did one suppose to keep a bunch of bickering, unruly, back-biting boys in line?)

By the time they got back, the shades would have been pulled, the lights off and the whips, paddles and toys would have been laid out. Pushing a bewildered and increasingly nervous Ryan in front of them, Eric would lock the door and Frank would guard it from the outside, making sure none of the three bad CSI's were allowed to leave until they could no longer move under their own power.

It didn't matter who went first, the other two would savor and squirm at the cries of apology turned to pleasure, anticipating their turn under the once more firm hand of their boss. Who knew what H would do or have them endure before - and after - their turn over his lap?

Plugs? Vibrators? Clamps and cages? Feathers and ball gags? A foursome in any and all possible combinations maybe? Maybe? God – hopefully.

One thing was certain – not only would the bickering and petty squabbles going on around the lab cease, the lab was in for a renewed level of teamwork and cooperation from the CSI's under Horatio Caine's command.

And Caine himself would once again be found in the damn lab where he belonged. Even if they had to chain him to his desk to make sure he stayed there. After all, H wasn't the only one who knew where the restraints were kept.