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Title: A Head-On Collision
Pairing: Will Graham/Aiden Gillan
Fandom: Hannibal/Blood and Chocolate
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Will Graham or Lee Fallon, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
Aiden blinked, his blue eyes widening.
When had he started to feel this way about Will? When had he started to think that this man was someone he wanted to be with in a way that meant more then friendship?
He had been so sure that he would never feel this way again about anyone after what had been done to him -- but he was apparently very wrong about that.
Just thinking about Will's smile, hearing his voice, knowing that the other man was here in the same house with him -- all of that made his heart beat faster, made him feel more than a little breathless. And when Will was around, Aiden couldn't stop looking at him.
Was he just becoming hypersexual because of what had happened? He didn't think so. He was sure that this attraction to Will was real, and not simply the result of physical trauma.
He had never met anyone who made him feel this way. And he hadn't expected it to happen with Will. But now that it had, what was he going to do about it?
This wasn't exactly the right time to feel a sexual attraction.
But at least this proved to him that he could feel such a thing, Aiden told himself. He didn't have to worry that his sexuality had somehow been nullified.
He just hadn't expected to experience a head-on collision with such feelings. He'd thought that he and Will would be friends, and that if anything grew between them it would take some time. But he was rapidly being proved very wrong about that assumption.
Would it be possible for Will to feel the same way about him? The very thought made his heart beat faster, his breath almost coming out in a gasp.
He held the sound back, striving to seem nonchalant.
Walking to the counter, he reached for one of the two mugs that Will had set out for them to have coffee, glad that his hands only seemed to be shaking slightly.
Would Will notice that his hands were shaking? Aiden fervently hoped not. He didn't want this to feel any weirder -- things were already strange and surreal enough.
Surreal was one way to be put it, he thought with an inward snort. They were being menaced by werewolves, which most people wouldn't believe could even exist. He felt as though he was living in the middle of some bizarre science fiction novel, battling an evil from another dimension.
But he knew all too well that wasn't the case. The evil was here, it was real enough, and it was a definite threat to his future -- and to his very life.
He was terrified of what waited out there for the two of them. And at the same time, he was also terrified of the feelings that he was only now starting to deal with.
If he and Will survived this, was there a chance for them to build a future together? Was it possible that Will could feel the same attraction that he did? And did he have the courage to ask the other man those questions, to find out for certain if his heart was pointing him in the right direction?
Not at the moment, no, he admitted with a soft sigh. He didn't want to ask those questions, to speak them aloud, and hear a reply that was in the negative.
Maybe after all of this was over, if the two of them lived through it, he might manage to scrape together the nerve to think about the possibility of a future with Will.
But first, they had to get through the ordeal that awaited them.
This wasn't just a head-on collision with his emotions. It was a collision with the forces of an evil that he wasn't sure they could defeat.
Aiden concentrated on keeping his hands steady as he reached for the coffeepot and poured the dark liquid into the mug, trying to keep his voice steady when he spoke. "You didn't have to make breakfast, you know. I'm a fairly decent cook. You're spoiling me."
Will shook his head, a soft smile curving his lips as he flipped the last pancake onto the stack, then carried the plate to the table and set it down carefully.
"I want to," he said, simply. "You've been through a lot. You need some pampering."
And those words almost undid him. Aiden could only stand there, blinking back a sudden onrush of tears that he hadn't expected, the words going directly to his heart.
Will cared. Even if it was just in a friendly way, it was more than he'd had in so long that Aiden felt as though he was suddenly wrapped in warmth and understanding.
He silently slipped into one of the chairs that sat around the table, unable to speak for a few moments. When he did, his voice was choked, clogged, and he had to clear his throat before he could get any words out. "Thanks, Will. But you don't have to do this. I'm not a victim."
He didn't want Will to take on that mentality about him, especially not now that his feelings for this man had become more clear to him. He didn't want to be protected.
He wanted Will to see him as an equal, someone who would stand by his side, someone who would be right there with him, through thick and thin, a partner in all ways.
Somehow, he had the feeling that Will had never had anyone like that in his life.
Well, he himself hadn't had it, either. And suddenly, he wanted that, more than he'd ever wanted anything. He wanted a partner, a lover, an equal.
That thought was yet another head-on collision with something he'd never considered before. He had thought that he'd been in a relationship of equals in the past, but that had been a lie. Vivian had never been his equal. She had always thought of herself as his master.
And in a way, he'd thought of their relationship in that light, as well. He had never been a partner. He'd been a supplicant. Which was, in the end, one of the main reasons he had left.
Well, that relationship was over. It was his past. And Will was his future.
At least, that was what he hoped. He desperately wanted this man to be his future. He wanted to become one with Will, to know a togetherness that he'd never experienced before.
The thought startled Aiden, made him look up with wide eyes -- directly into Will's curious gaze. The other man had sat down as well, and he was watching Aiden.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Will asked, his tone curious, his gaze searching Aiden's face. He lifted his coffee mug to his lips, taking a sip, and Aiden could see that his hand was shaking a bit, too. Was Will feeling the same things that he himself was?
Was Will just as nervous about their future as he was? Did Will want the same things that he did? And was now the time to talk about it, before all of this went any further?
Aiden desperately wanted to talk about it now, while he felt that he could get the words out, but his tongue seemed to be stuck to the roof of his mouth.
No, those words wouldn't come out. Not now. Not yet.
Instead, he sat there and sipped at his coffee, then, with a smile at Will, ladled some scrambled eggs and bacon onto his plate, then took three pancakes.
He had to eat. Will had made this wonderful breakfast for the two of them, and Aiden intended to show him that such care and courtesy was much appreciated.
After the first few bites, he looked cautiously at Will, to see that the other man was also eating, as though there was nothing important on his mind. And it suddenly occurred to Aiden that this silence wasn't uncomfortable at all. Rather, it was companionable.
He felt as though he fit in here, in this house, at this table. As though he had already become an integral part of Will's life. As though he belonged in Will's life.
Another head-on collision that he hadn't realized he would have today. And surprisingly, this collision didn't shock him. It just made him feel comfortable. Warm. Happy.
He was right where he had always been meant to be.
It surprised him to think that, but it was the truth. He had never felt completely comfortable in Romania, or in any other place he had lived. Certainly not in his parents' home.
Here, he felt as thought he was accepted. As though he belonged. Somehow, without any words being said, he knew that there would always be a place for him here.
There was a place for him in Will's home, in Will's life. And he also hoped that there was a place for him in Will's heart. The thought almost took his breath away, to the point where he had to put his fork down and take a sip of his coffee to keep from coughing.
It still wasn't the time to talk to Will about that. He didn't know when that time would come. But something told him that it would be soon -- before they confronted their enemies.
He needed to know that they had a future together before it came down to the decisive fight that could take away any future that either of them would ever have.
It wasn't the right time yet. But soon, he would have the answers that he needed.
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