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Title: Surrender To the Devil
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham
Fandom: Hannibal
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Hannibal Lecter or Will Graham, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Will swallowed hard, wishing that he hadn't said those words. There was no turning back now, and he wasn't sure that he was ready for what he'd just asked Hannibal to do. If only he could take the words back, swallow them whole, pretend that they hadn't been uttered.

But it was far too late now. There was no do-over.

He had no choice but to surrender to this man; it was what he wanted, really, even if it was frightening at the same time. He had dreamed of this moment, dreamed of giving himself to Hannibal, dreamed of the freedom he would feel, the culmination of so many desires.

This was a dream come true for him. It had to be. There was no other way to describe it. This was what he had wanted for so long, and now it was happening.

But if it was a dream come true, then why did it feel like a nightmare?

This wasn't the way he'd wanted to come together for the first time .Not with him half-lying on a kitchen counter, his jeans around his ankles, with Hannibal standing behind him, still fully clothed, his hands playing Will's body like a violin.

He was surrendering to Hannibal in every way, giving himself completely, Will told himself. This was how it should be, how it had to be if he wanted any kind of an honest relationship with this man. Hannibal would expect nothing less from him.

The man he'd chosen as his lover would demand everything from him, and he was willing to give it. He'd made that decision before he came here today. He had gone over what he had to do in his mind so many times that he knew neither of them would settle for less than total surrender.

Hannibal deserved that from him. If he was going to give himself, body and soul, then he couldn't do it by halves. It was all or nothing.

That was what Hannibal expected. But was it really what he expected of himself?

Of course it was, Will told himself fiercely. He couldn't go into any relationship and hold even a small part of himself back; he wasn't the sort of person who made any kind of commitment lightly. He'd always been like that -- and he had usually leaped before he looked.

He hadn't done that this time. He'd examined every angle, though of every possibility. And this was still what he wanted. He had to surrender himself completely, give over everything that he was, or he didn't deserve to have all of his desires fulfilled.

He had come here today knowing exactly what would be expected of him, and what he would do. He'd had his eyes wide open, knowing what he was getting himself into.

Or did he?

"There will be some pain," Hannibal whispered into his ear, pulling him out of his thoughts and back into the present moment. With a shock, he realized that the other man was now naked, the tip of his penis pressing against Will's bottom, hot and hard.

For one searing moment, he almost broke away, all of his senses on the alert. He had the feeling that he was taking his life into his own hands, forcing himself to surrender to the devil, baring his throat for a knife that would slice into his flesh when he least expected it.

But the moment passed; Will forced his muscles to relax, though he tensed again when he felt Hannibal's breath warm against his throat. His surrender was inevitable, but his body wasn't going to simply capitulate and make this easier for him.

"I know," he answered, nodding, trying to exude some semblance of calm acceptance even as his hands gripped the edge of the counter so hard that his knuckles were white.

He tensed even more when Hannibal reached for a small jar of olive oil on the counter; he obviously intended for it to be used as lube, and though Will had no objection to that, it still reminded him all too vividly of the pain that would come in just a few moments.

Maybe it wouldn't be that bad. Hannibal wouldn't deliberately hurt him. Would he?

Will gasped when he felt Hannibal's fingers spreading him; even as much as he thought he wanted this, the first time being with another man felt strange, as though he was stepping outside of himself, outside of some boundaries he didn't even know that he'd set.

But those boundaries were slipping away, the pleasure of being touched by a man he'd wanted for what felt like forever stripping them away. He could think of nothing but that touch, how much he wanted and needed it, how much he wanted to sink into it.

Hannibal's warm, oiled fingers stroked over his entrance, making his muscles tighten, then relax. Will could feel himself opening, his body alternately relaxing and tensing, waiting for the moment when those fingers would push inside him and break down another boundary.

When they did, he could only gasp again, his body arching into that touch. The pleasure was indescribable; it almost felt as though his body was melting into Hannibal's touch, letting the other man become a part of him, inviting Hannibal to take all that he wanted.

If this was what complete and utter surrender was like, then he was more than willing to give himself over, no matter what the consequences might be.

This was all that he'd expected, and so much more.

Within seconds, his hips were rocking back against Hannibal's fingers, his body demanding more than his mind was ready for at the moment. It was as if he had no control over his movements; he had surrendered to Hannibal's touch utterly and completely.

He hadn't expected this, hadn't expected it to feel this good, this right. But still, that little voice kept whispering insinuations into his ear, telling him that he was surrendering to the devil, giving himself over to a darkness that would eventually eat away at him.

Will pushed that voice out of his head, concentrating on what he felt. Now that he had finally leapt that abyss and placed himself in Hannibal's hands, there was no turning back. He could only look at the path that was laid out ahead of him, leaving everything else behind.

No, it wasn't safe. No, it wasn't what he'd planned. But he was here, and the only thing he could do was live in the moment, forge ahead, and surrender himself to his destiny.

"Are you ready for this?" Hannibal asked, his voice soft in Will's ear.

He might as well have screamed the words; Will wasn't quite sure how to answer the question. A part of him wanted this more than he'd ever wanted anything in his life, but a part of him was cringing, terrified of how it would feel, and what this final surrender would mean.

Once he'd crossed this line, he would belong to Hannibal. There was no doubt about that; he would have given not only his body to this man, but his soul as well. Yet, there was only one answer he could give, one word that he could say. There was no turning back.

"Yes," he whispered, closing his eyes and surrendering all that he was.

***