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Title: This Is No Dream
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham
Fandom: Hannibal
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1drabble
Prompt: 21, Dream
Author's Note: Sequel to "Always in the Dark."
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Hannibal Lecter or Will Graham, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

How did he explain all of this to Will?

Hannibal ran a hand over his face and through his hair, feeling completely disconcerted. He had a let an entire day go by without thinking about this problem.

Of course, it had been there throughout the day, trapped in the back of his mind, beating at the cage that he was trying to keep it in, demanding its freedom. He had to decide what he was going to do, how he was going to tell Will the truth.

Could he tell the truth? He knew that it would damage his relationship with Will irredeemably; it might even tear them apart forever.

Hannibal sighed, closing his eyes and shaking his head.

There was no "might" about it. This would tear them apart. Even though he had no memory of what he'd done, Will would never be able to forgive him.

He had flashes here and there, but it all seemed like some kind of hallucination, a dream that his subconscious was placing within his mind. Nothing seemed real from those brief moments of memory. It couldn't be real, could it? It had to be a dream.

But the mud on his shoes, coupled with the memory, the surety, of having seen Will, of being close to him, was proof that this was no dream.

He was the one who had attacked Will. He was sure of that. His own confused half-memories proved it, and he had no doubts that it was the truth.

That truth was something he couldn't bring himself to tell Will. He couldn't bear to see the hurt that he knew would be in those extraordinary blue eyes -- and then, after the hurt, the anger that was sure to follow. Seeing that would break his heart.

He couldn't bear to have Will turn away from him.

It was sure to happen. He knew that as surely as he knew that night would follow day, and the passing of one day would lead into the next.

This was no dream -- it was a nightmare. One that he wanted to awaken from, but knew that he wouldn't. He would have to think of some sort of explanation to give Will; he certainly couldn't tell the young man the truth. It was too much to ask of himself.

He would simply have to keep this knowledge to himself, Hannibal thought with a sigh. His world could be torn apart if he ever dared to confess what he had done.

But it wasn't going to be easy to live with that knowledge.

If only this was a dream, he thought with another soft sigh. He would give anything to be able to wake up from it, to know that none of it was real.

This was his life, not a dream, and it seemed that he was managing to make a royal mess of it -- even if he had no complete memory of all that he'd done.

***