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Title: How It's Done
Pairing: Jimmy Palmer/Tim McGee
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Jimmy Palmer or Tim McGee, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***Tim leaned back on the couch, sighing contentedly and tightening his arm around Jimmy's waist. This had been a wonderful way to end the work week, spending Friday night with his boyfriend, watching an old black and white movie that they both enjoyed.
He still hadn't mentioned his idea about going to a bookshop and searching for books about how gay men made love; he didn't want Jimmy to think that he was being ridiculous. He'd even written off the idea as being stupid, something that they didn't even need to consider.
But was it such a bad idea? Tim asked himself for what felt like the hundredth time. Neither of them had ever made love to a man before; maybe it was a good idea for them to have some kind of guide to help them along the way.
At the moment, he felt that they were both literal babes in the woods, stumbling along in the dark. And even though he had a few gay male friends, he certainly wasn't going to ask them for tips on how to make love to his boyfriend! No, he drew the line at that.
He and Jimmy both knew where everything went, of course. They both had a working knowledge of what they would be doing -- but neither of them had ever tried it with anyone before. And Tim knew that first times, no matter who they were with, were always awkward.
He didn't want any awkwardness with Jimmy. He knew that there would inevitably be a little of that; after all, they had to get used to being intimate with each other. But he wanted that awkwardness to be put behind them quickly so that they could enjoy each other.
It wasn't that he had any doubts about being with Jimmy in the physical sense, or that he didn't want them to make love. Of course he did, Tim told himself with an inward sigh. He wanted that more than anything. He just wasn't sure how to break the ice.
"Okay, Tim, what's bothering you?" Jimmy's voice broke into his thoughts; he turned his head to see that his boyfriend was regarding him with a slightly worried expression, a frown marring his brow. "I can tell when something's on your mind. Spill."
Tim sighed audibly this time, wondering how he was going to bring this subject up with Jimmy. It wasn't the easiest thing he'd ever tried to talk to his boyfriend about, but there had to be a way. Jimmy wasn't one to think that anything he wanted to talk about was silly.
"Jimmy, I ...." Tim's voice trailed off as he tried to think of a good way to phrase the idea he had in mind. "I thought it might be a good idea for us to go out to a bookstore," he began, hoping that would be a way for him to start telling Jimmy what he thought they should go there for.
"That's not exactly what you wanted to say, is it?" Jimmy asked with a laugh, the frown clearing away from his handsome face. "Come on, Tim. There's more to it than that. You know I like browsing in bookstores, so there's got to be more to this."
"I-I thought it might be a good idea for us to go to a gay bookshop and look for some books on .... on how to make love to a guy," Tim blurted, almost relieved once the words were out. Whatever Jimmy thought of the idea, it was out in the open now.
It didn't seem like such a lame idea now that he'd said it to Jimmy; maybe his boyfriend would agree with him and think that it was something they might want to do. But he wasn't sure of what Jimmy would think; Tim could only hold his breath and wait for his lover's reaction.
"I think that's an awesome idea!" Jimmy enthused, turning to Tim with a smile. "It's bound to be kind of awkward the first few times, because neither of us has ever been with a guy before. A how-to guide might help us a lot, at least while we're getting over the first rough spots."
"Really? You think it's a good idea?" Tim blinked, feeling a wave lf relief rush over him. Jimmy didn't think the idea was lame; he agreed with it. He should have known that his boyfriend would feel that way; Jimmy wasn't the kind of guy to reject a slightly unorthodox idea outright.
"I think it's a terrific idea," Jimmy told him, his voice soft and loving. "Tim, we might know where all the parts are supposed to go, but there's a big difference between knowing and actually doing it. I've been kind of nervous about it, to be really honest."
"Why would you be nervous?" Tim asked before he could stop himself. "Okay, stupid question." He raised his hands in front of him as though to ward off a question, shaking his head. "Never mind, I know why. I'm nervous, too. But that doesn't mean that I don't want to."
"So do I," Jimmy said softly, resting his head against Tim's shoulder. "And I want it to be perfect -- even though I know that's probably way too much to ask. It's not going to be perfect. No first time ever is. But I think that getting a kind of how-to book might help us to not be so nervous."
"A book isn't going to make all the fears suddenly go away," Tim said with a sigh. "But I think it might give us some ideas on what to do -- and it'll help us to know what not to do. I don't want to accidentally do anything that might hurt you, Jimmy."
"You'd never do that," Jimmy protested, shaking his head. "Not on purpose, I know. But you're right. We probably could use a guide, just to show us how it's done. But I've got to admit, I'm looking forward to doing a little experimenting. I don't want everything spelled out for me."
"Neither do I," Tim agreed, realizing with a little jolt that the words were absolutely true. He didn't want some step-by-step guide that told him exactly what he should be doing -- he wanted to find out what Jimmy liked by experimenting, by touching him and loving him.
Yes, a guide would be a good thing, but they didn't need a road map and directions. And there was no need to be so nervous about the first time they made love, he told himself firmly. They loved each other; they would discover what they both liked. Together.
"So, when do you want to go out and shop for a .... field guide?" Jimmy asked with a soft laugh, his arms sliding around his boyfriend's waist. "I bet there are some gay bookshops around here. They can't be too hard to find. We've just never looked for them before."
"What about tomorrow?" Tim asked, his heart starting to pound in his chest. Tomorrow they would find a few books, and then they'd come home and leaf through them -- preferably in bed. That ought to give both of them some ideas about what they wanted.
And how to get started, too. He smiled at the thought; maybe tomorrow night at this time, he and Jimmy would be much more physically intimate than they already were. And hopefully, they'd be more comfortable with that intimacy, and they'd be past the initial awkwardness.
Yes, finding a book -- or a few books -- to show them how it was done, to give them a little push, was going to be a good thing, Tim decided. He shouldn't have worried so much about sharing that idea with Jimmy; he should have known that his boyfriend would understand -- and agree.
"Tomorrow sounds great to me," Jimmy replied, raising his head to whisper in Tim's ear, his breath warm against the other man's skin. "And then tomorrow night, we can put some of what we learn into practice. I've been waiting a long time for that."
"So have I," Tim murmured, shifting his position slightly to wrap both arms around Jimmy's waist and pull him close. "I don't think I'm going to be nearly as nervous about it as I thought I'd be," he added, his lips brushing over Jimmy's in a soft, gentle kiss. "I can't wait."
"Neither can I," Jimmy told him, his dark eyes sparking as he gazed at Tim. "I think we'll be able to figure out how it's done without too much trouble. And you know what they say about trying new things -- practice makes perfect. We can get in a lot of practice."
"I'm looking forward to all of that practicing," Tim whispered before he captured Jimmy's mouth with his own for a long, satisfying kiss. He was definitely eager to find a few books and start experimenting -- and he was sure that they would both be pleased with the results.