Title: Break of Hearts
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: gen
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: Amnesty in January, 5_prompts
Prompt: Cadenza Challenge, Title section -- Maybe this time.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Tenth Doctor, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor sighed as he walked along the pavement, putting one foot in front of the other, careful not to step on any cracks. He certainly didn't want to break anyone's back, least of all his mother's -- even though she had been dead for centuries.

Why had he come back to Earth so soon? He'd told himself that he was going to spend some time traveling alone, that he didn't feel drawn to any particular place -- but yet, this was the planet he always came back to when he wanted to do some serious thinking.

There had been too much happening in his life as of late, too much that he didn't particularly want to deal with. It would be so easy to turn his back on all of it, throw his responsibilities to the ground, and declare that he'd had enough of being alone.

He wanted a more stable life. A life with someone who cared for him, someone who wanted to share that life. But that posed a problem, considering that he'd never been able to find anyone who wanted to give up the life they already had to be with him.

Oh, people had said in the past that they'd wanted to do so. And he'd believed them, for a while. Maybe they had even believed those rash words themselves -- until they had realized just what traveling with him meant, and just how much they would have to give up.

He couldn't blame any of his companions for changing their minds. They'd all had lives before they had met him, and those lives would continue once he was out of the picture. He couldn't expect anyone to be willing to give up everything just for his sake.

Even the companions who had seemed sincere in that statement had ended up feeling differently after a while. And that was all right, he told himself. Everyone had the right to change their mind, especially when they didn't know what they were getting into.

And of course, there had been the few who had become obsessed with him to a frightening point, the Time Lord thought with a shudder. Fortunately, there had only been one of those since he'd been in this body, and that one was in a place where she could do no more harm.

Why was it that every time he came to Earth, he felt a lift to his spirits, a hope dawning in his soul that hadn't been there before? Was it because this seemed to be the planet where most of his companions had found him, the place where he made the most connections?

Or was it simply because it made him feel good to be on Earth? He had no idea why; maybe it was simply because of his own half-human heritage, courtesy of his mother. This planet always seemed to welcome him, no matter how long he'd been away.

Maybe this would be the time when he'd find a companion who would stay with him, someone who wouldn't turn their back on him and walk away, going back to the life they'd led without him and being perfectly content in that life.

Or maybe he would simply wander around the city, looking for .... what? He didn't really have a reason to be here; he'd just felt that for some reason, he needed to be on Earth. He hadn't been drawn here by any feeling of imminent trouble; just that he'd wanted to think.

He always came to Earth when his problems seemed to be pressing down on him, to think them through and try to come to some solution. More often than not, that didn't happen, but at least he had a place to go to sort out his thoughts.

Walking around the streets of London seemed to help, for some strange reason. This city was teeming with life, with hope -- with everything that he needed to lift his spirits at the moment. And maybe, just maybe, something good would happen here today.

Maybe this would be the day that he'd find a new companion, someone who wanted to start a new life and who would be happy to stay with him. Maybe this time would be the one when he could toss all of those worries about never having someone stay with him aside, at long last.

And if it wasn't .... the Doctor sighed, his steps slowing down as he turned a corner into the park and continued down the pavement, still being careful to avoid the cracks. He had no idea why he did that; but for some reason, that old rhyme stuck in his mind.

Step on a crack, break your mother's back, he thought as he looked down at his feet in their worn trainers. Why was that phrase replaying in his head again and again? He hadn't though of it in ages; and he didn't usually pay such attention to not stepping on cracks.

Did other people do the same thing? He lifted his head, looking around him and watching how other people were walking along. No one else seemed to be avoiding the cracks on the pavement; he must be the only one who paid any attention to that rhyme.

Would this be the day that he'd be walking along, seemingly without a care in the world, and bump into someone who was looking for some new direction in their life? Maybe this time, he'd find someone whose needs and desires fit right into place with his own.

And maybe he wouldn't. That was the marvelous thing about life, wasn't it? he thought, taking a deep breath of the crisp air. It was so unpredictable. He never knew what would happen next, no matter where he might happen to be at the moment.

Why was he worrying about what could happen? If he did that, then he could very well pass right over the very opportunity he was looking for, the right person to invite onto his ship as his next companion. If he looked for them too anxiously, he wouldn't find them.

One thing he'd found out in all of his long years was when he looked too closely, the very thing that he was searching for never materialized. It was always easier to let things come to him as they would, without trying to force them out into the open.

What if he happened to cross paths with the very person who would be willing to leave Earth and never look back, and didn't realize that they were the perfect companion because he'd been looking too hard for someone completely different? That could easily happen.

No, the best thing for him to do was not to look at all. If he didn't, then he would be pleasantly surprised when he did happen to find the person who would be his next companion -- and he wouldn't be gutted when and if that never happened.

Maybe this would be the day that he would sit down on a park bench, and someone would sit down next to him and start talking. Maybe this time, he would discover that the person he was talking to was perfect as a companion -- and maybe they would feel the same.

He couldn't help searching the faces of the people he passed by, wondering if this one or that one could be the person who might be his next companion. But no one looked right; no one seemed to even notice him for more than a fleeting moment in time.

And maybe this would be yet another time when he was here on Earth, alone, wishing that he could find a companion but not coming across anyone, either because of searching for them or accidentally, who would possibly want to come away with him into the stars.

His footsteps slowed until he was standing still, his hands thrust into the pockets of his long coat, staring down at the toes of his trainers. He should give up and go back to the Tardis, take a trip to another planet, and forget about being here on Earth for a while.

This obviously wasn't the time that he was going to find a companion. That sort of thing only happened when he didn't expect it; someone would come along sooner or later, he hoped, but if they didn't .... well, then he would just have to get used to being alone.

Turning slowly, the Doctor began to retrace his steps -- but this time, he wasn't so careful about stepping on the cracks. It didn't really seem to matter much if he broke anyone's back -- not when it felt that his hearts might be close to the breaking point themselves.

***