Title: Disappear Fear
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Brendan Block
Fandom: Doctor Who/Secret Smile
Rating: NC-17
Table: 5, 10_hurt_comfort
Prompt: 10, Fear
Warning: past non-con.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Brendan Block, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***


The Doctor turned to Brendan as they entered the bedroom, squeezing his lover's hand. "There's nothing to be nervous about, Brendan," he said softly, dropping the other man's hand and slipping his arms around Brendan's waist. "Just relax."

Brendan nodded, wishing that he could take the Doctor's advice. There was no reason for him to be nervous about making love to this man, he told himself. The Doctor wanted him; it wasn't as though he was taking the Time Lord against his will.

This was completely different from what had been done to him. There was no resistance, no turning away. The Doctor was offering himself, obviously wanting to be in Brendan's arms. He had nothing to be afraid of, no reason to think that the Doctor didn't want this.

He couldn't hold back a gasp as the Time Lord untied the loose knot that held the towel around his hips; the fabric covering him fell away, exposing his body to the Doctor's touch. Those gentle, warm hands slid down his back to cup his bottom, eliciting another gasp from his throat.

"Make love to me," the Doctor whispered into his ear, his breath warm against Brendan's skin. "Please, Brendan. I need to be close to you. I know you aren't ready for me to make love to you, and I respect that. But don't let him destroy what we have together."

Brendan nodded, closing his eyes and wrapping his arms around the Doctor's slender waist. He did want the Doctor. He missed their physical closeness, the ecstasy that making love to this man always brought him.

"You're a little overdressed, aren't you?" he murmured, tugging at the hem of the Doctor's t-shirt to lift the garment over the Time Lord's head. He pulled it off, tossing it aside and reaching for the buckle of the other man's belt, suddenly wanting to see the Doctor naked.

But the Time Lord was already loosening his belt, then unzipping his jeans and pushing them down over his narrow hips. He stepped out of them as they pooled on the floor around his ankles, his intense gaze meeting Brendan's, those eyes riveted on his face.

They both moved toward the bed at the same time, the Doctor lying down and reaching up to pull Brendan down for a heated kiss that took both mens' breath away. When Brendan finally pulled back for air, his senses were reeling, his body aching for the Doctor.

He didn't even stop to think of what he was doing as he reached for the tube of lubricant that he knew was in the drawer of the bedside table; it only took a few seconds of fumbling before his fingers closed around it, already popping the cap as he moved between the Time Lord's thighs.

The Doctor shifted his position slightly, spreading his legs further and reaching for Brendan again. He was once more pulled down for a kiss, but this time, the touch of their lips was feather-light, their lips barely brushing, softer than the warmest spring breeze.

"I love you," the Doctor whispered against Brendan's mouth, the words a mere breath of sound in the quiet stillness of the room. Brendan echoed them, his voice equally as soft, knowing that he meant them with every fiber of his being.

Brendan knew that he didn't have to answer; he was sure that his feelings were evident just from the look on his face. He leaned down to kiss the Doctor again, capturing the Time Lord's lips with his own, their tongues feinting and dancing with each other.

Without thinking of what he was doing, Brendan squeezed a generous amount of lube onto his fingers, moving his hand between the Doctor's spread thighs. A shiver went through him; it seemed like forever since they had done this, the anticipation rising higher with each passing moment.

One finger slid inside the Doctor, quickly followed by a second. In just a few moments, he was scissoring his fingers inside the other man, stretching and opening him, his mouth still raining kisses on the Time Lord's parted lips as his fingers worked to prepare him.

Brendan experienced a momentary pang of fear as he let his fingers slide out of the Doctor; what if this hurt the Time Lord in some way? He could remember all too clearly the pain he'd felt when the Master had taken him; could that possibly be what the Doctor felt?

No, of course not, he told himself, pushing that fear away. He was being silly. If making love hurt the Doctor in any way, then he wouldn't be so eager for it; he wouldn't want Brendan to make love to him, welcoming him into that beautiful body.

It only took another few seconds for him to position himself; then, closing his eyes and taking a breath, he pressed his hips forward, sliding into the Doctor in one quick, smooth movement. The sudden heat that engulfed him brought a gasp to his lips, his eyes flying open.

He was sure that he'd never felt such intense heat before, in all the times that he'd ever made love to the Doctor. He was being seared from the inside out, falling so deeply into a pool of molten lava that he was melting into the man beneath him.

But there was no pain -- only a deep, glowing pleasure that was spreading along every nerve of his body, from the core of his being out to all of his limbs, along his arms and legs, pleasure filling every fiber of him until he thought he could faint from the sensual overload.

His hips drove into the Doctor again and again, each movement drawing a soft gasp from the Time Lord and a moan from himself. He couldn't keep this up for much longer; he could already feel his orgasm starting to uncoil in the pit of his stomach.

Brendan didn't want to stop, didn't want this pleasure to ever end. How could he have felt that making love to the Doctor was something to fear? There was no way that he could ever hurt this man. There was too much love between them to ever consider doing that.

There was no pain, no fear, nothing but the ecstasy of their bodies cresting a wave that broke over both of them at the same moment. Just as his own climax rushed through his body, igniting all of his nerve endings and setting them on fire, Brendan felt the Doctor's muscles tighten around him.

The two men clutched each other close, their cries of pleasure mingling in the still air of the room, their bodies spiraling down from a dizzying height that neither of them had known they could reach. Brendan collapsed on top of the Doctor, panting, his arms wrapping around the other man's waist.

It seemed like a very long time before the Time Lord finally raised a trembling hand, threading his slender fingers through Brendan's hair. "That was .... incredible, love," he managed to say, his breath catching in his throat. "You outdid yourself."

"Nothing has ever felt like that before," Brendan murmured, amazed at the way their bodies had fused together during their lovemaking. "Even the first time we made love wasn't that intense. I ...." He left his voice trail off, not quite knowing what to say.

The Doctor spoke softly, his breath warm against Brendan's cheek. "I hope that's made any fears you had disappear, Brendan. Believe me, nothing that you did to me hurt at all. It only hurts when you're taken against your will. You never have to be afraid of that with me."

"I know," Brendan whispered, struggling to hold back tears that wanted to come rushing to the surface. No, he told himself firmly, blinking rapidly to keep them at bay. He wasn't going to cry. There was nothing to cry about. Not now.

Their lovemaking had been incredible; it was the most pleasurable experience he'd ever had with anyone. The ice was broken; the wall that had been building up between them had crumbled to the ground, and Brendan was sure that it would never come back.

All he wanted to do now was to lie here with the Doctor beside him, to sink into a deep, dreamless sleep -- and then awaken to make love to the Time Lord again. He wanted to reassure himself that there would be no pain, no fear -- nothing but exquisite pleasure for them both.

"I'll never be afraid to make love to you again," he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss against the softness of the Time Lord's mouth. "Though I don't know about letting you do the same to me." He closed his eyes, a ragged sigh leaving his throat. "That's a whole other can of worms."

"We don't have to think about that now," the Doctor told him, his voice soft and gentle. "One step at a time, Brendan. I understand that you're not ready for that now. But when you are, you know that I'll be here. And you know that I'd never do anything to hurt you."

"I know you wouldn't," Brendan told him, his tone of voice conveying his sincerity. "But I think it's going to be a while before I'm ready for that, Doctor. I know that I will be someday, but .... let's be happy with what we have for the moment. It's a start."

"I'm more than happy," the Doctor told him, his voice soft and husky as Brendan's lips met his own again. The kiss took away the need for any more words, and within moments, the two of them were lost in their own private world, free from any thoughts but their feelings for each other.

***