Title: Built For the Future
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Giacomo Casanova
Fandom: Doctor Who/Casanova (Masterpiece Theater)
Rating: NC-17
Table: 4
Prompt: 42, Destiny
Author's Note: The character of Giacomo Casanova is based on the BBC version of Casanova starring David Tennant. Continuation of Not Only Human.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Giacomo Casanova. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor stirred, opening his eyes and letting his sight slowly adjust to the dim light of his bedroom in the Tardis. His mind seemed fuzzy, not quite focused. He'd certainly been sleeping very heavily, to have such a hard time waking up .... and there was someone beside him, which was unusual.

Giac. The name came back to him in a rush, along with the memories of everything they'd done in the past few hours. A small smile curved his lips, devoid of the embarrassment that he might have expected to feel at any other time. He'd been with Casanova. The Casanova. The world's greatest lover.

How could he manage to feel embarrassed about that? It was something to be proud of, not embarrassed about. And not only had he been with Casanova -- but it had been incredible. Fantastic. Sublime.

And now .... he had to leave. Leave Giac behind, possibly forever, with only memories of the very brief time they'd spent together to sustain him. He bit savagely into his lower lip, looking down at the young Italian sleeping peacefully beside him. It wasn't fair. He shouldn't have to leave.

No, he told himself sternly, trying to shake off his melancholy. He had to go. Giac had a far different destiny than to fall in love with him, a Time Lord from another planet who didn't belong here. If he stayed, if he allowed Giac to fall harder for him than he already had, he would disrupt history.

He'd found out from bitter experience just how big of a mistake it could be to do that. He wasn't going to do it this time; besides, he had no right to hold Giac back from a future that was written in the history books. He had to console him with the thought that he would always be a marvelous memory for this young man.

Just as Giac would always be a treasured memory for him. The Doctor couldn't keep himself from reaching out to stroke his fingertips down Giac's chest, aching to touch more, push the covers back and let his mouth follow the path of his hand .... no. He wasn't going to. It was too close to the time he'd have to depart.

Still, they could have at least a while longer together; if he was correct, the dawn wasn't far off. He would have to leave then, before he spent another day here and made it all the harder to tear himself away.

Why was it so hard to leave Giac? The Doctor snorted inwardly, knowing the answer to that question even before his mind voiced it. Because he'd let himself fall head over heels in love with the young man. Because he desperately wanted a life -- and a love -- that he couldn't have.

One small hand curled into a fist, and he had to hold back a soft sob that threatened to wrench itself from his throat no matter how hard he struggled to keep quiet. It wasn't fair. It wasn't. He was always denied the right to have someone love him. He shouldn't have to go through his lives -- all of them -- without that kind of comfort.

Why did it seem that everyone else in the world, no matter what time they lived in, had the right to be loved and have someone by their side, someone who would be there for them and never leave? He was the only being who seemed to constantly be denied that one thing, the one thing that he wanted above all else.

The Doctor sighed, sitting up and leaning forward to wrap his arms around his knees, drawing his legs up to his chest. Even if that was something that fate had allowed him to have in his life, it wouldn't be with Giac. It couldn't be. The other man was destined to live an illustrious life, one that didn't include him.

He was surprised that his movements hadn't woken Giac; he rested his chin on his knees and studied the Italian, still slumbering beside him. This would be the last time he'd be able to study this beautiful man up close, but it was an opportunity that he was grateful for. He'd be able to imprint those features on his mind.

His eyes roamed over Giac's face, taking in the porcelain-pale skin, full lips, high cheekbones, long dark lashes. Reaching out a hand, he brushed back a few strands of tawny hair, running his fingers through the long, tumbled locks.

Strange, how much Giac looked like him -- a younger version of him, with longer hair and blue eyes instead of brown. Was that one reason he was so attracted to this young man -- an odd kind of vanity? No, that couldn't be it, he told himself. He was so attracted to Giac because .... well, because he was Giac.

As if he somehow felt the Doctor's eyes on him, Giacomo stirred, opening his eyes and smiling up at the Doctor. The Time Lord had to hold back tears at the sight of that smile; he wanted to be able to see it every day, and he knew that this was the last time he would see Giac wake like this.

His own smile was wavering, he knew, but he tried to paste a cheerful expression on his face, even though he wanted nothing so much as to break down and cry in Giac's arms. He wouldn't let the last brief time they had together be sullied by tears or unhappiness; he owed Giac that much.

Giac immediately noticed that something was wrong; he sat up, his smile changing to a look of concern. "Why do you look so unhappy, sweet one?" he asked softly, reaching for the Doctor and gathering the other man into his arms, stroking a hand through his hair. "There is no reason to be sad."

"Yes, there is!" The Doctor couldn't keep the bitter words from bursting out; never had it seemed so unfair that he couldn't be with someone he loved. "I may never see you again. I don't want you to be just a memory. I want to stay with you -- but I know that isn't possible, and it also isn't fair."

Giac sighed, closing his eyes and placing a gentle kiss on the top of the Doctor's head, his arms tightening around the Time Lord. "Life isn't always fair, beautiful one. There are always choices to be made, and they aren't always pleasant."

"I don't want to make a choice," the Doctor sobbed, unable to hold back the tears now that he was in Giac's arms. How humiliating, he thought, crying like this. This wasn't the way that he wanted Giac to remember him, sobbing and broken. That wasn't what the other man should have left of him.

"I wish you didn't have to make that choice," Giac whispered, his lips soft and warm against the Doctor's cheek. "But this was inevitable from the moment we met, my sweet. You knew that you would have to leave, and we both must accept that. We will have a beautiful memory of each other, one that can never age or be taken away."

The Doctor nodded, still feeling miserable but knowing that Giac was speaking the truth. He couldn't stay, no matter how much he wanted to throw caution to the winds and do as he pleased for once. He couldn't disrupt Giac's life, and therefore disrupt history. He wasn't a part of this world, and he never could be.

"I would give a great deal for you to be able to stay with me, sweet one," Giacomo murmured, his voice sounding husky and choked. "But you say that I have a great destiny ahead of me, one that doesn't include you. And sometimes we must sacrifice what we want most for what will come to be."

"I'm sorry," the Doctor managed to whisper, raising a hand to his face to wipe away his tears. "You shouldn't have to deal with this. I'm just ...." He shrugged, not wanting to tell Giac of his loneliness.

Giac placed his hands on either side of the Doctor's face, tilting his head up and meeting the other man's eyes. "You will find someone to fill your heart, my beautiful Doctor," he said softly, his blue gaze never leaving the Time Lord's face. "Loneliness doesn't last forever. Especially not for one as glorious as you."

The Doctor's eyes widened, his jaw dropping. How had Giac known how he was feeling? How had the other man managed to divine his loneliness, guess the reason that he was clinging so tightly now that the time had come for him to go? It was uncanny, the way that Giac seemed to almost read his mind.

Giac laughed softly, leaning forward to kiss the Doctor's forehead. "Anyone can tell that you're lonely, my sweet," he said, pulling the Doctor close and letting the Time Lord rest against him. "I'm familiar with that emotion myself, and it's quite easy for me to see it in other people when I'm close to them."

"It isn't just because of loneliness that I want to stay with you," the Doctor told him, wishing that his voice didn't sound so weak and shaky. "It's because ...." He swallowed, wanting to say the words, but at the same time feeling a little afraid of having them out there in the open. "-- because I think I've fallen for you."

"You only think?" Giac smiled, brushing his lips against the Doctor's cheek. "I take that as a compliment, sweet one. I know that I've fallen for you -- which is what makes it so hard to let you go, even though I know I must."

"All right, I know," the Doctor sighed, relaxing into Giac's embrace. All he could think of was how quickly time was passing, taking away their last moments with each other. If only he could stop the passage of time, make it slow down, at least, so that he could have longer to be with this fascinating man ....

"We can always have one last wonderful memory to keep with us before you go," Giac whispered, shifting his position and pushing the Doctor back against the pillows. The Time Lord let his lover lay him down, reaching up for the other man, pulling Giac down to him and pressing their bodies close.

"Yes," he murmured, the single word turning into a groan of pleasure as Giac's hands moved down his sides, stopping at his hips, those slightly calloused fingertips stroking over his sensitive skin. He wanted this, wanted one last time with this man; this memory would have to last him a very, very long time.

Giac's hand was between his legs now, spreading his thighs, stroking over his entrance before pressing a finger inside him. The Doctor arched his back, moaning Giac's name, craving more of that touch. No one had ever made him feel like this; Giac seemed to literally have exquisite sensations at his fingertips.

Another finger slipped inside him, probing, stroking. He was already breathing hard, wanting more of Giac than the other man was giving him. He was unaware of the soft sounds coming from his throat; all he could focus on was Giac leaning over him, those soft lips on his, those long fingers moving inside him.

After a few moments, those gentle fingers were gone; the Doctor almost moaned in protest, arching his hips upwards. But within seconds, Giac's cock was pressing into him, filling him slowly, his lover's eyes on his face, their gazes locking.

The Doctor wrapped his long legs around Giac's waist, trying to pull his lover further into himself; the thought crossed his mind that maybe if he wrapped himself around Giac, he could keep the other man here, that he wouldn't have to leave. Ridiculous, of course, but at the moment, he was clinging to any idea that would keep Giac with him.

Giac didn't begin to thrust in and out of him; instead, those strong arms wrapped around him, holding him as close as was possible, until their heartbeats seemed to merge with each other. The Doctor was surprised when Giac spoke, the soft words burning into his consciousness.

"I will carry this memory with me for the rest of my life, beautiful one. A memory that I will always cherish, that I will look back on with affection, and be grateful that I had the chance to love you." When Giac's eyes met his, there were tears shimmering in those blue depths.

The Doctor swallowed hard, nodding, unable to speak. He couldn't stop the tears from coursing down his face, sobs welling up in his chest. He could feel Giac's hand on his face, wiping his tears away, hear the soft voice whispering in Italian. He turned his face to the side, pressing his lips against Giac's palm, trying to stop his tears.

Giac was thrusting into him now, slowly; pulling back, then pressing his hips forward, never taking his eyes from the Doctor's face. The Time Lord was moving in rhythm with him, their bodies synchronized, locked in an embrace as though they were holding on to each other for dear life.

Those soft lips were on his; he could taste the saltiness of Giac's tears mingling with his own, hear the other man's soft moans and gasps. If he were to die at this moment, the Doctor thought, he could die happy. Nothing that could come to him in the future could possibly be better than this.

If only this could last for the rest of his life; if only time could stop, and he would never have to leave Giac. If only he could stay here in this embrace forever, never have to think about leaving and being alone again.

It wasn't possible, and the Doctor knew it. But he would have the memory of this, a memory that he could relive as much as he wanted to. A memory that would be with him through all the long, empty nights of the future. It would have to be enough; this would have to last him for the rest of his life.

Giac's thrusts were becoming more erratic; it was obvious that he was on the verge of coming, but that he wasn't going to let himself go until he knew that the Doctor was sated. The Time Lord tightened his legs around his lover's waist, just as Giac thrust into him again, their gasps of pleasure mingling in the still air.

The Doctor came in a burst of pleasure, literally seeing stars explode behind his closed eyes. His muscles tightened around Giac, his body shuddering in the other man's arms. Giac's climax followed a few moments later, the two of them locked together as their bodies slowly spiraled down from a dizzying height.

They lay there together for what felt like a long time to them both, each listening to the other's breathing and not wanting to break the silence. Finally, Giac sighed softly, one hand smoothing through the Doctor's hair, lips pressing against the Time Lord's brow.

"I must go, my sweet," he whispered, his voice breaking on the words. "It will be more difficult for you to leave for wherever you must go if I delay any longer."

"I don't want you to go." The Doctor's voice was muffled against Giac's shoulder, his words shaky. This was it, then. This was the inevitable parting that they had been heading for ever since their eyes had first met in that ballroom.

Giac pulled back slightly, taking the Doctor's face between his hands, looking into the other man's eyes as though he was studying his features before he leaned forward and kissed the Time Lord, his lips soft and gentle. "I don't want to go," he murmured against the Doctor's mouth, "but we both know that I must."

Reluctantly, Giac sat up, getting out of bed and reaching for his clothes. The Doctor lay there, watching him, feeling tears well up in his throat again. He couldn't cry, not now; he didn't want Giac to remember him that way. He wanted the two of them to part as lovers, with good memories, not sad ones.

Picking up his shirt, Giac studied it before frowning, glancing towards the small pile of clothes that the Doctor had worn when he'd gone out. He leaned down to pick up the shirt from the top of the pile, looking at the Doctor with his brows raised in a silent question.

"Do you mind if I take this?" he asked, tilting his head to the side and giving the Doctor a winning smile. The Time Lord wasn't sure why the young Italian would want his shirt; was there something particularly special about it? But he wasn't going to deny Giac anything, not now, not when he was so close to leaving.

"Of course not," he murmured, managing to keep the urge to sob at bay. The tears were starting to recede; maybe he could get through this with a modicum of dignity. He had to try for that. The last thing he wanted was for Giac to look back on their time together and think he had been overly emotional.

Giac shrugged into the shirt, fastening the row of buttons up the front and then sitting down on the bed next to the Doctor. He handed his own discarded shirt to the Time Lord, leaning down to press a kiss to the other man's lips.

"Keep this," he whispered, caressing the curve of the Doctor's lower lip with the pad of his thumb. "Something to remember me by. I wish that I could leave you with more, my beautiful one -- but alas, this is all I have to offer. Except --" he took the Time Lord's hand and laid it against his heart. ".... My heart, which you already have."

"And you have mine," the Doctor replied, blinking back the tears that had welled up behind his eyes again at Giac's words. "Both of them," he added, taking Giac's free hand and pressing it against his own chest, letting the Italian feel the beating of his dual heartbeats.

"We will both find love again," Giac said softly, his eyes never leaving the Doctor's face. "But there will always be something special between the two of us, something that no one else will ever touch. I will never know anyone quite like you again, my Doctor. You will always hold a special place in my heart."

He couldn't speak, couldn't do anything but nod. Giac was pulling him up, out of the bed, the two of them standing up, Giac's hands moving down his body, touching him one last time. It was almost painful when the other man stepped away so that he could put on his clothes. He didn't want to lose that touch. Not yet.

But it was already gone. The magic of their time together was over; he had to go back to his world, his time. He had no choice; he'd known that from the moment he'd come here. But he was leaving this time with much more than he'd arrived with.

It only took him a few minutes to get dressed, fumbling a little with his clothes as Giac watched him silently. When he was fully dressed, Giac drew him close again, embracing him for one final time without words. They didn't need words. The gentle touch said everything that they needed to hear.

The Doctor was the first to pull away from their embrace this time, taking Giac's hand and leading him down the corridor to the main room of the Tardis. Giac looked around him, taking everything in, before he looked back at the Doctor with a smile, shaking his head and sounding amused when he spoke.

"I am never going to learn all about this fascinating place, am I?" he asked, his eyes moving around the room again. "This .... ship that carries you through time and space. It seems amazing that it could be possible -- but I've learned to believe that there are no impossibilities. We are limited only by our imaginations."

"What a very human thing to say," the Doctor murmured, smiling in spite of himself. It was nearly time; when he opened the door of the Tardis, Giac would leave, and they would more than likely never see each other again. If only he could hold back time, keep it from happening, keep this moment in place forever ....

No. Giac had a future ahead of him, a place in the history books. That future didn't include him. He should be grateful that he'd had the chance to love Giac, that he'd been one of the people who'd been lucky enough to know him. It was an experience that he would never forget, one that he would always hold dear.

"I should go," Giac said softly, taking the Doctor's hand in his once more, threading their fingers together as they walked slowly towards the door of the Tardis. They didn't speak, not until Giac was at the door and the Doctor was reaching for it with a shaky hand, still wishing he could delay the inevitable.

"Doctor." Giac's voice was husky, that seductive tone he'd already come to know so well. The Doctor turned to him, eyes questioning, the words he'd been about to say dying on his lips when he saw the expression on Giac's face.

"Perhaps we will meet again, my sweet. Who is to say? The future is infinite -- and it stretches before both of us." Giac smiled, leaning forward to take the Doctor into his arms and kiss him again. This time, it wasn't a kiss of passion, but rather, gentle and sweet. A kiss that tasted more of love than physical desire.

"I hope we will," the Doctor whispered, pushing the door open and letting the pale light of dawn stream into the Tardis. Giac stepped through the door, turning to look at the Time Lord and raising a hand. The Doctor raised his own hand, managing a smile. "Goodbye, Giac. Until we meet again."

"Goodbye, my sweet one. We will, never fear." Giac smiled, then turned away and began to walk along the street, turning to look back and wave once before he turned a corner and was lost in the early-morning fog of Venice. The Doctor stood there for what seemed like a long time before he could bring himself to close the door.

Moving back to the console of the Tardis with slow, heavy footsteps, he scanned the controls, pushing a few buttons without really seeing what he was doing. He was nearly blinded by tears; maybe he could hold them back long enough for him to return to his bedroom after he'd set the Tardis on her way.

He could feel the slight displacement of time and space; he knew that the Tardis had disappeared from sight in 18th-century Venice. He was gone from Giac's life -- but not from his memories. At least he had the consolation of knowing that he'd touched the young Italian's life as much as Giac had touched his own.

Making his way down the hallway to his bedroom, he sat down on the bed, his gaze lighting on Giac's shirt. Picking it up, he lifted it to his face, closing his eyes and only then letting himself give way to tears again. Silly to feel like this. Silly to feel that he'd just given up the love of his life.

But what had Giac said? That it was possible they could meet again. He was right; the future was infinite, and there was nothing to keep him from coming back to this time at some point. He could do it. He could see Giac again. It was only a matter of time. And he was, after all, a Time Lord.

The Doctor laid down on the bed, holding Giac's shirt against his face, breathing in the musky scent that seemed to cling to the fabric. This would have to do until he could come back again. It wasn't much, but it was something. And somehow, he had the feeling that he would be back here sooner than he thought.

***