Title: Just Been Born
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Michael Cutter
Fandom: Doctor Who/Law & Order
Rating: PG-13
Table: 100_tales
Prompt: 35, Birth
Warning: ongoing story, past non-con
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Michael Cutter, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***

Michael stood on the beach looking out over the waves to where the sea met the horizon, squinting slightly as the sunlight bounced off the sparkling water. It was a beautiful sight, he reflected -- and one guaranteed to make him feel small and insignificant.

It didn't matter that this sight was on another planet; this place was surprisingly like Earth, and he'd been fascinated by it. The green forest that the Tardis had landed close to, the clean white sand of the beach, the shimmering waves -- it was all so familiar, and yet so different.

Yes, the vegetation was green, just like Earth. Even the sky was a gorgeous cerulean blue, just as he was used to seeing on his own planet. But the deep purple waves of the sea and the lavender foam that now swirled around his ankles was definitely a change.

Still, it was a beautiful, pastoral scene -- and one that he wouldn't mind seeing more of. Being here felt like a rebirth of sorts, after the serious talk that he and the Doctor had been through the last time they were on Earth. This place made him feel as though he'd just been born.

He'd never believed in religion, Mike thought with a wry smile, yet that phrase sounded like a religious slant on the feeling that this place gave him. Being born again .... though his rebirth was something vastly different from the religious sense.

Everything that he'd had on Earth was behind him now. Yes, he still went back to New York to visit his friends occasionally. That was why they'd been there the last time; he'd wanted to see Jack McCoy and some other people he knew, and the Doctor had agreed.

In fact, he'd even said that it was probably a good idea to keep up appearances, though the two of them had to be careful not to slip up and give away the fact that they didn't actually live in England. It hadn't been as hard to be secretive as Mike had thought it would be.

Lying about where he was living and what he was doing came far too easily to him, he thought with a frown. It wasn't something he liked doing; but if he wanted to keep going back to the city to see friends, he'd have to learn to live with it.

It was yet another thing about him that had been reborn -- though the lying was something he didn't particularly like. If only he didn't have to, Mike thought wistfully, then shook his head. There were always things about life that weren't pleasant to deal with.

Places like this always gave him a sense of peace -- and this one was no different. He didn't want to let any unpleasant thoughts steal into his reverie; he wanted to enjoy this place, the beauty and peace of his surroundings.

And he wanted to share that beauty with the Doctor. Mike half-turned to look for the Time Lord, smiling when he saw his lover appear in the doorway of the Tardis. The Doctor had changed his clothes, looking much more relaxed in a t-shirt and jeans than in his pinstriped suit.

Michael had talked him into not wearing that suit so much; he could understand that the other man felt comfortable in it, that it was almost a kind of uniform, just as Mike's suits that he wore in court had grown to be. But it was out of place here.

Not that he didn't think his boyfriend looked fantastic in whatever he was wearing, Mike told himself with a smile as he held out a hand to the Doctor. The other man made his way across the sand to stand next to him, raising a hand to shield his eyes as he looked out over the waves.

"It's beautiful here," Michael said softly, squeezing the Doctor's hand gently. "It looks kind of like any beach on Earth -- except for the colors, of course. And there's such a sense of calm and peace about it. I was just thinking that I feel reborn here."

"It's easy to have that sort of feeling about quiet places like this," the Doctor agreed, turning his head to smile at his lover. "Every time I go through an experience that takes something out of me, I try to come to a place that will replenish me in some way."

"I can see how this one would do it," Mike told him, moving a few feet back to sit down on drier sand, away from the surf. "There's something about this place that makes me feel as though the whole world is opening up to me."

"That's the same sort of feeling I get," the Time Lord murmured, sitting down beside him and pulling his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on them as he stared out at the glimmering water. "And it makes you feel a bit small, doesn't it? The magnificence of it all."

"Don't you feel the same way when you look at the viewscreens on the Tardis and see the universe?" Mike asked him, his tone curious. "I do. I feel so small and insignificant in the world, like I'm just this tiny little organism that doesn't really matter."

"But you do matter, Mike," the Doctor said, turning to him, his tone earnest. "Every person in the entire universe matters. All life is tied to each other in some ways. One little thing that one so-called small and insignificant person does can lead to a chain reaction of events."

"I used to tell myself all the time when I was an ADA that I made a difference," Michael said, shrugging his shoulders. "But there were so many times when I felt that I didn't. Especially when I lost a case. And that was hard for me to deal with."

"You did make a difference," the Doctor told him softly, reaching out a hand to wrap long, slender fingers around his lover's wrist. "You put a lot of criminals away, Mike. But I'm glad that you decided not to spend all of your life doing that."

"I don't think I could," Mike said slowly, shaking his head. "I needed to leave that life sooner or later. It was starting to get to me and change me, in ways that I didn't like. I was becoming harder, less in tune with my emotions. I wouldn't have wanted to end up like that."

"And now?" the Doctor asked, his voice soft and husky. "Do you feel that you can still do some good in the world by being with me? I hope so, because I feel that you can. Maybe it's only in a small way, but there's a ripple effect, you know."

"I hope that I can," Michael said, looking out over the expanse of purple sea again. "In some ways, I feel like I've just been born since I've found out who you really are and started this new life with you. Like I have a chance at a new life, a life that I can make a difference with."

"You make a difference for me just by being here," the Doctor whispered, reaching out a hand to cup Michael's cheek. "Just knowing that you love me makes all the difference in my life, Michael. It might not seem like a lot -- but to me, it is. I hope that's enough."

"It is," the other man said softly, placing his hand over the Doctor's. Their eyes met, their gazes holding for several long moments before Michael leaned forward and placed his lips against the Time Lord's, sliding his arms around the Gallifreyan's waist.

The kiss didn't break for quite a while; when the two men came up for air, they were both panting softly, their gazes slightly unfocused. Mike rested his forehead against the Doctor's, closing his eyes, letting the peace and calm of their surroundings seep into him.

"We're both just a small part of a very large galaxy," the Doctor said at last, his voice barely audible even in the quiet atmosphere of the deserted beach. "But you're the largest part of my life, Michael. You always will be, until I cease to exist."

"I was wrong about feeling like I'd just been born since I found out who you really are," Mike told him, his own voice almost cracking as he spoke. "I was reborn the second I first saw you. I knew even then that you were going to be the most important part of my life."

"The first time I saw you, something inside me reached out to you," the Time Lord said, raising his head to gaze into Mike's eyes. "I think I felt as though I'd just been born in that moment. I didn't know your name, but I knew that I wanted to be with you."

"I knew I loved you. The second I looked into those eyes." Michael smiled, his gaze not leaving the other man's. "I might not have known it consciously, but my heart knew. And a part of me knew that it was a rebirth, even if it took me a while to realize it."

As he bent his head to press his lips against the Doctor's soft mouth again, Michael told himself that this rebirth, this new life, was something that he was incredibly lucky to have. And that he intended to enjoy every moment of it to the fullest -- right by the side of the man he loved.

***