Title: Light At the End of the Tunnel
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Ten.5
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: Epsilon, challenge_the
Prompt: 1, Light
Author's Note: The human version of the Doctor is being referred to as John Smith in this fic, since it's the Doctor's human alias and his clone needed a name.
Author's Note: Spoilers for Journey's End, somewhat. This is an completely alternate take on the ending of Season Four.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor, or his human clone. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor sighed contentedly as he looked across the Tardis' console at Jamie; the other man was studying the readouts intently, as though he was trying to make up his mind where they were going to go next, what planet they would explore.

He loved seeing Jamie so interested in discovering new planets and new experiences, in finding out more about the world around him. Of course, he shouldn't have been surprised at that -- Jamie was, after all, himself in a human body.

He knew that his lover still had problems with being human; Jamie was probably never going to completely adjust to that state of being, and the Doctor didn't blame him. It had to be difficult to have a body with such limitations, while still retaining a Time Lord mind.

But at least Jamie was here with him, and not in some faraway alternate universe with someone who only wanted him because of the way he looked. That would have been the proverbial fate worse than death, one that he couldn't have subjected Jamie to.

He wouldn't have wanted to live that sort of life -- and he had been the one that spoilt brat had been after! Living out a lifetime with her and her whining ways would be a horrible life for anyone, let alone the man who was literally a part of himself.

And when Jamie had started to get older, what then? It didn't take a genius to know that she would have pushed him aside, annoyed with the fact that Jamie no longer looked like the Doctor she remembered, the man she had an unhealthy fixation with.

No, that was no sort of life for any person to have to lead. The Doctor had no regrets whatsoever about saving his Jamie from that life, keeping him here on the Tardis where they could be together for the rest of the other man's human life span.

It was hard for him to believe that when Jamie had first come into being, he'd been absolutely certain that he would let the other man go into that alternate universe, to be parted from him forever. At the time, he'd thought it was the only choice he could possibly have.

But after they'd made love, he'd known that he couldn't let this man go, even though he'd tried to hold on to that decision at first. Still, if he was honest with himself, he had to admit that he'd known from the first time they'd kissed that Jamie belonged with him.

After that, he should have known that he would never be able to let this man go. If he did, he would be losing the light of his life, the best part of himself. He couldn't have let that happen, any more than he could let any of his enemies destroy the Earth.

Jamie was the brightest life that had ever shone into his life; there was no way that he would let anyone take this man away from him now that he'd discovered how good they were together. No one else could love Jamie the way he did, appreciate him in the same way.

And what was more, Jamie wanted to be with him. His human counterpart loved him back just as fiercely as he was loved -- perhaps even more so, the Doctor thought as his gaze rested on the other man, unwilling to look away.

As though he felt the Doctor's gaze on him, Jamie looked up, a smile crossing his face as his eyes locked with his lover's. "Something wrong, Doctor?" he asked, his tone making it obvious that he knew nothing was wrong, and that the question was just a formality.

The Doctor shook his head, smiling himself in answer to Jamie. "No, of course nothing's wrong, love," he answered, his voice husky. "I was just thinking about us -- about you, and how you're the light of my life. How lost I'd be if you weren't here with me."

"That doesn't sound like a very pleasant train of thought, in some ways." Jamie straightened up to his full height, a slight frown marring his brow. "Some of it sounds good, but why in the world would you think that I might not be here with you?"

"I wasn't thinking that," the Doctor hastened to assure him. "I don't want to think about that. I just .... well, it was on my mind how well you fit into my life, and how well you're adapting to having a human body, and .... I couldn't help but think that it could have been different, that's all."

"Thank goodness it wasn't different!" Jamie exclaimed, his voice hoarse. "If I'd had to go away with her, and never see you again, I think I would have killed myself. She's a child, nothing but a spoilt child who only wanted me as some way to hold on to you."

The Doctor nodded slowly, agreeing with his lover. "You're exactly right, Jamie," he said, his voice soft. "And that's only one of the reasons why I couldn't let you go with her. I know that I seemed to want to, at first -- but you changed my mind."

"What would you have done if I hadn't been able to change your mind, and you'd let me go?" Jamie asked him, his tone curious. "I can't imagine you being alone. You'd have found another companion, wouldn't you, even if they weren't your lover as well?"

"I-I don't know," the Doctor stammered, caught off-guard by Jamie's query. "I hadn't really thought about it." That was true enough; he hadn't let himself think about what he might have done if the light of his life had gone away to a life he'd known nothing about.

"I know what I'd have done," Jamie said, his voice barely audible, his gaze dropping from the Doctor's to fixate on the floor. "I would have died. I'd have taken my own life at some point, especially if I had known that there was no way I could be with you again."

"I don't want you to think like that, Jamie," the Doctor gasped, his eyes widening at his lover's words. He knew that Jamie loved him, of course; he'd never doubted that. But he hadn't known that Jamie felt he couldn't live without being by his side.

"How can I not?" Jamie burst out, finally looking up at the Doctor again. "Every day I think of how lucky I am to be here -- and how easy it would have been for you to let her take me. I still have nightmares that you did -- and I wake up wondering how long it's going to be before --"

His words stopped abruptly, his face working as though he was trying to keep back tears. Without another word, the Doctor stepped forward, pulling Jamie into his embrace and burying his face against the other man's soft hair, holding him close.

"That's never going to happen, my love," he whispered, closing his eyes as he felt Jamie tremble in his arms. "I'm never going to let anyone take you away from me, Jamie. You're the light of my life, the love of my life. You're here with me for the rest of your life."

He gently raised Jamie's face to his, wiping the other man's tears away with soft fingertips. "Do you really think I would let anyone part us, now that we've been together for so long?" he said softly, his gaze locking on Jamie's. "Never, Jamie. Never. You belong with me. Always."

"You've always been the light at the end of the tunnel for me," Jamie said, his voice muffled against the Doctor's shoulder as he bowed his head again. "I might be the light of your life -- but you're the sun that my life revolves around. You always will be."

"Nobody's going to take your light away from me -- or mine away from you," the Doctor told him, keeping his voice low and soothing. "I can promise you that, Jamie. I'll fight to keep you by my side. You'll never have to leave if you don't want to."

"What do you say that we take that light to bed?" Jamie whispered, sniffling and raising a hand to wipe away the last of his tears. "I want to show you just how much I love you -- and how much light you bring into my life. And how much I hope I can bring into yours."

The Doctor knew that no words were needed to answer his lover's question; all he had to do was bow his head to press a kiss against Jamie's parted lips. All he had to do was lead his lover down the corridor towards their bedroom, and into the bright light of their rising passion.

***