Title: Living on the Edge
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Brendan Block
Fandom: Doctor Who/Secret Smile
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1
Prompt: 14, Restless
Warning: ongoing story
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Michael Cutter, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor glanced up from the book he was reading, watching as Brendan prowled around the sitting room of the Tardis like some kind of jungle cat, picking up a book and then putting it down, clasping his hands behind his back as he paced.

He bit his lip, wondering if he should ask his lover what was wrong, but having the feeling that he already knew without voicing the question. Brendan was restless, wanting to get out of the Tardis, to do something other than travel aimlessly.

He'd been like that himself once in a while when he'd been in his first few bodies; it had seemed like a waste of his time to be here in the Tardis, doing things that he could do when he was at home on Gallifrey, instead of being out there searching for a new adventure.

As he'd grown older, he'd grown out of that attitude; now, he appreciated the quiet times in his life, just as much as he enjoyed stumbling into something that required him to solve a particularly knotty problem.

But Brendan was young, really. If not that young in human years, he was by the Doctor's standards -- though most humans seemed like an infinitesimal blink of an eye to him, if he was honest. Their short life spans still amazed him.

He sighed softly, wishing he knew how to combat Brendan's restlessness, or at least stop it. He knew one way -- but that wasn't something he could always use.

Putting down his book, he watched Brendan pace silently, until the other man looked over at him and came to sit down on the couch next to him, propping one arm on the couch arm and leaning his cheek on his hand as he stared at the Doctor.

"Well?" Brendan prompted, sounding resigned. "I can tell when you want to say something to me. I know that look on your face, Doctor. And I know why you're wearing it. I'm driving you crazy with the pacing, aren't I? I'm sorry."

"I know what's wrong," the Doctor sighed, turning towards Brendan and reaching for his free hand. "I've been there myself, Brendan. You feel that you're wasting time here, that there's no sense in traveling through time and space if you're not really doing anything."

"Bingo." Brendan looked down at their entwined hands, his long fingers curling around the Time Lord's. "Look, it's not that I don't appreciate being here with you. There's nowhere else that I'd rather be -- you know that. But I'm .... bored."

The Doctor nodded, almost wincing at the word that Brendan had used. He hated to hear that; he hated thinking that the man he was falling in love with was tired of being with him. He almost held his breath, waiting for the inevitable words that he knew were coming.

Brendan would want to leave. He'd already said that he was bored, and it was obvious that his restlessness wasn't going to be assuaged easily. The next step was him deciding that this had been a wonderful lark, but that it was time for him to go back to Earth.

And then .... he would disappear out of the Doctor's life, taking with him any chance of the two of them developing a deeper bond and being more than just lovers. He wanted more than that; he had since the day he'd met Brendan.

They were physical lovers, but they hadn't reached a point where they'd trusted each other with everything that was in their hearts. Not yet. But he wanted to get there.

If Brendan left him, that chance would be gone. This intriguing man would walk out of his life for good, and even though he was sure that Brendan would have fond memories of him, the two of them would, in all likelihood, be parted forever.

He didn't want that. He wanted to be able to do something, anything, that would keep Brendan here with him -- something that would appease that wild restlessness and make this man happy, make him want to stay, if not forever, then at least for a long time.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked, his voice trembling a little. Dammit, he'd wanted to sound strong, as though he could take the situation in hand and make things better -- even though he had no idea if he could do that or not.

"I don't know what the problem is myself." Brendan sighed, shaking his head, sounding annoyed -- but not with the Doctor. "It's nothing you've done. I don't want to leave you. I don't think I'd be happy if I wasn't with you. I just .... I need something more than this. Than being idle."

"I'd offer you sex, but somehow I think that would just be a temporary solution to the problem," the Doctor said with a slight smile, wishing that he could lighten the mood. "Though it would certainly be a pleasant way to spend a few hours."

"Hours?" Brendan arched a brow, a smile curving his lips. "I think it's more likely that we'd be in bed for a few days. You're the most incredible man I've ever met in that department, Doctor. I've got no complaints there."

"Nor do I." The Doctor was relieved that at least that side of their life together wasn't causing his lover to be restless. So it was something else, then -- something that was apparently outside of the Doctor's ability to remedy.

"I wish I could say why I feel like this." Brendan sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I feel like I'm .... living on the edge of something that's about to happen, and it's driving me insane. As if I need to break out, to run, to .... I don't know."

He'd spread his hands out in front of him with his last words; shaking his head; to the Doctor, he looked like some sort of wild animal preparing for battle.

"Whatever it is, I hope it doesn't make you leave," he said softly, keeping his eyes fixed on the other man's face. Even though he knew that Brendan hadn't shared everything about his past life, he knew that his lover couldn't lie to him.

Brendan had told him more than once that his eyes were compelling; there was something about the way they looked at each other that made it impossible for either of them to hold back what they were feeling when their gazes locked. Maybe that would work now.

The Doctor kept his eyes locked on Brendan's; after a few moments, the other man sighed and looked down, shaking his head again. "I'm not going to leave. You know I'm not. I couldn't stand to leave you. Not now, not as close as we've become."

"Then we'll have to work together to get this restlessness out of your system," the Time Lord said softly, leaning toward Brendan and reaching out to touch his lover's cheek. "I don't want to lose you, Brendan. I know it's going to happen eventually -- but I'm not ready for that yet."

"You won't lose me." Brendan's eyes met his, those deep brown depths mesmerizing him, making him want to surrender himself to anything that this man wanted from him. "I'm staying with you, Doctor. I just might be a little restless at times, that's all."

"We should go somewhere to help you take the edge off that restlessness, then," the Doctor told him, getting to his feet. "Let's go to the control room and see what place and time we can come up with that might be interesting for us both, hmmm?"

Brendan was right behind him as he left the sitting room, heading for the center of the ship. "I think that's a marvelous idea," the other man breathed into his ear, sending shivers of anticipation down his spine and bringing a smile to his face.

He could hardly wait to get to the control room, find a place and time that would keep them occupied, and get there as quickly as they could. It was past time they'd had a little adventure -- and he was starting to feel just as restless as Brendan.

The Doctor led his lover into the control room, turning back to Brendan to voice a question. Within seconds, he found himself gathered into the other man's arms -- and he realized that it might be a while before they actually left the ship once they reached their destination.

***