Title: Mysterious Ways
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Ten.5
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: VRD challenge - Purple, 5_prompts
Prompt: Lightning in a purple sky (picture)
Author's Note: Slight spoilers for Daleks in Manhattan.
Author's Note: The human version of the Doctor is being referred to as John Smith in this fic, since it's the Doctor's human alias and his clone needed a name.
Author's Note: Spoilers for Journey's End, somewhat. This is an completely alternate take on the ending of Season Four.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor, or his human clone. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor shuddered as he stared out at the storm that was beating down on the city of Cardiff, his gaze focused on the lightning as it streaked through the sky. He winced when a boom of thunder split the silence and the lightning sizzled.

Jamie came to stand beside him in the doorway of the Tardis, careful not to emerge too far from the shelter that was formed by the slight overhang above the doorway. He could sense the Doctor's uneasiness, and he knew why the Time Lord was jumpy.

Ever since that encounter with the Daleks in the early twentieth century, when he'd been clinging to a pole that was struck by lightning, the Doctor had been wary of that particular natural phenomenon. Jamie certainly didn't blame him for that.

He had all of the Doctor's memories; he could close his eyes and let that feeing of being struck by the haphazard lightning course through him. He could remember the Doctor's terror, and the physical pain the lightning strike had caused him.

But in spite of that pain and his own fear, the Doctor had held on to that pole. He'd known what was at stake; he hadn't been willing to let go and make a sacrifice that might have allowed the Daleks to win. He had been willing to risk his own life for the sake of others.

Jamie sighed at the thought, wondering if he himself could ever be that selfless. He was a part of the Time Lord and always would be, but they were two separate and distinct people. He was human; he would never actually be the Doctor.

He hated lightning for the same reasons the Doctor did; he could still feel the pain of that lightning strike just as intensely as the Time Lord could. It was one of the few bad things about having all of the Doctor's memories; he could remember all of the pain the other man had suffered.

Still, that was one more thing that tied him to his lover, wasn't it? And it wasn't something that he would want to give up. Jamie shivered at the idea of losing those memories; if he did, there would be no part of him that was physically connected to the Doctor.

Well, there would be his looks; but they would change, too. He would age much more quickly than the Time Lord would; when he was old and grey, the Doctor would still be young and beautiful. And that was one of the things about his existence that frightened him the most.

He didn't want to age. He didn't want to grow old and be subject to all of the illnesses a human body could succumb to. He didn't want to think of how soon he would be at the brink of death -- or how his inevitable early death would affect his lover.

The Doctor was terrified of being alone again; he didn't want to go through his life with that loneliness he'd always known nipping at his heels. That was why he'd always taken companions; even if they weren't lovers, they still held back the loneliness.

And once he was gone, the Doctor would not only lose his lover, but his companion. He might be able to replace Jamie in the companion sense, but there would be a gaping hole in the other man's life, and Jamie ached to think that he would be the cause of that.

Maybe it would be better if he had never existed, he thought with a sigh. The Doctor would obviously have regenerated when he didn't want to, but wouldn't that be better than the situation he now found himself in, facing the loss of yet another loved one?

No. Jamie pushed that thought away from him, locking it away in the back of his mind and refusing to let it overtake him. It was better for him to be here, for them to be together, even if they might not have all the time in the world.

What was that old Earth saying? It was better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. The Doctor would rather have had their love in his life than not have ever experienced it. Jamie couldn't deny him that love, even if they would eventually be parted.

"Do you remember what that lightning felt like?" the Doctor murmured, his eyes on the streak of silver as it flashed through the purple sky again. "I almost let go of that pole. But I couldn't. Something kept me hanging on, even though I thought I was going to die."

"That's because you always put others before yourself," Jamie told him, his voice soft. He couldn't resist moving closer to the Time Lord and sliding an arm around his waist; somehow, he felt that they both needed the physical contact.

"I have to," the Doctor replied, his voice faraway, as though he wasn't quite in the present moment. "If I didn't, then I wouldn't be living up to my responsibilities as a Time Lord. I can't interfere with history -- but I have an obligation to not let people be victimized."

Jamie kept silent, knowing that what the Doctor was saying wasn't strictly true. Interfering in any way with what happened in the universe went against the Gallifreyans' policies -- but the Doctor had always been a rebel, choosing to step outside the box.

"If you didn't, then the world would be a much darker place," Jamie finally said, his tone carrying a quiet pride. The Doctor might not be what most Gallifreyans would have expected of him -- but he was ten times the man any of them could have claimed to be.

Jamie was proud to be a part of this man. He was proud to be able to call the Doctor his lover. No matter what anyone else in the universe might think of the man he stood beside, he would always support the Doctor in every way -- and always love him.

One of the few times that the Doctor hadn't been selfless, he had been created. If the Time Lord hadn't reached out to preserve his own life, then Jamie wouldn't exist. He owed his life to the Doctor; and he would give his life for the man he loved, if he had to make that sacrifice.

Together, they stood there watching the lightning strike at the city again. They were both surprised that it hadn't hit anything of importance and caused a blackout -- but as they both knew, nature could work in mysterious ways at times.

As the rain began to pelt down harder, the Doctor sighed and turned away from the sight they had been witnessing, closing the Tardis' door. Within moments, the blue police box had shimmered into thin air, taking them into the timestream on their way to a new destination.

***