Title: Phoenix From the Flames
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Ten.5
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1
Prompt: 56, Phoenix
Author's Note: The human version of the Doctor is being referred to as John Smith in this fic, since it's the Doctor's human alias and his clone needed a name.
Author's Note: Spoilers for Journey's End, somewhat. This is an completely alternate take on the ending of Season Four.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor, or his human clone. Please do not sue.

***

John surveyed the control room of the Tardis, a slight frown on his face. Not that he didn't feel at home here, but he'd been feeling more and more restless lately, as though he needed to get out more, to explore places he'd never seen.

That was the influence of the Doctor in him, he told himself, sighing and leaning against the console. It was inevitable that he would feel that way; after all, he had the Doctor's memories, and so much of what made the other man who he was had transferred to him.

He'd wanted to stay close to the Tardis for quite a while after his experience with John Hart, but that was understandable. The Doctor had actually wanted him to do that; John thought that the Time Lord might even have been a bit overprotective.

Again, that was understandable. He'd have felt the same way if the tables had been turned and it was the Doctor who'd been kidnapped.

But it hadn't been. And for that, he was unutterably grateful. It had been the worst experience of his life -- not in his memories, of course, but in the life he was leading now -- to be in that position, but he was sure that it would have been far worse for him if it had been the Doctor.

Strange how they could have grown so connected in so short a time. Their connection really didn't have much to do with the fact that they were a part of each other, he mused. No, that connection sprang from their physical and emotional involvement and their commitment to each other.

He hadn't expected that when he'd first begun his life. He'd thought that he would be relegated to being an afterthought in the Doctor's life, that he would be sent off to some faraway parallel world where they would never see each other again.

It still amazed him that the Doctor hadn't done that. The Time Lord could so easily have written him off as a mistake, as something that shouldn't exist. But he hadn't -- no, he'd embraced John completely and wholeheartedly.

He'd risen like a phoenix from a part of the Doctor; it was something of a miracle, really. In some ways, it was hard for him to wrap his mind around how he'd come to be.

John raised one hand, studying it, flexing his fingers and staring at them. Was this the hand that had been severed from the Doctor's body? Or had that hand somehow metamorphosed into what he was, becoming atoms of his body and not represented in his physical self?

Hmmm. He was sure that this was the Doctor's hand. There was something about it, a strength, a sense of being not quite him, almost a tingling feeling when he held it up in front of his face and looked at it.

That should probably bother him, but it didn't. Was it odd that feeling there was so much of the Doctor in him could give him a comforting feeling? Most people would probably be repulsed by the relationshp the two of them shared.

He didn't care what other people thought. They didn't matter. They were together, they had each other; that was the most important thing.

If people couldn't accept them, then they'd have to learn to deal with that fact. John knew that the Doctor wanted his friends to come to terms with their relationship, but if they couldn't .... John sighed again, running a hand through his hair.

The Doctor had risked so much to be with him. Not only the friendships that meant so much to him, but even his life when he'd come after John Hart to rescue him. He not only owed the Doctor his existence -- but he was in debt to the Time Lord for saving his life.

Could he ever repay that? He didn't know, but he was determined to try. That was only one of the myriad of reasons that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with the Doctor. He would spend that life paying back that debt, and do it willingly.

He felt rather than heard the Doctor coming into the control room, moving close behind him. John closed his eyes when he felt the other man's arms slide around his waist, the Doctor's warm breath brushing against his cheek.

"You look terribly reflective," the Time Lord murmured in his ear. "Something bothering you that I should know about?"

John shook his head, smiling, trying to shake off his melancholy. "No, not really. I was just thinking that you and I have a strange relationship -- that I'm something like a phoenix rising from the ashes. And that I've done it twice now, thanks to you."

The Doctor shook his head, his arms tightening around John's waist. "No thanks to me, not the second time. That was due to your own strength, John. I only came to find you. You're the one who survived that, not me."

"But if I hadn't had something of you within myself, I'd never have been able to survive," John pointed out, twisting his head slightly to look at his lover over his shoulder. "That's a strength that you gave me. It's not mine alone."

The Doctor nodded slowly, a thoughtful look on his face. "Yes, that might be a part of me in you," he conceded, his voice soft as he spoke. "But the courage it took to hold up under that sort of pressure -- that came from you, John. Not from me."

"Like a phoenix from the flames," John murmured, his cheeks coloring slightly. "But then, I suppose that's what you are each time you regenerate."

The Doctor shivered convulsively; John could hear the slight intake of the Time Lord's breath. "Let's not talk about that," the other man told him, a barely detectable tremor in his voice. "It won't be something I have to deal with for a long time, I hope."

Privately, John agreed with him. He didn't want to think about the Doctor regenerating, having some body other than the one he was used to. Maybe it was strange to be in love with the man who was his double -- but he couldn't bring himself to believe that it was wrong.

"I hope that's going to be far, far in the future," he said aloud, inwardly thinking that he probably wouldn't be alive to see it happen. After all, he was human; he had a short life span compared to the Doctor, and part of it was already gone.

"It will be," the Doctor assured him, but John could feel those arms around his waist tighten almost imperceptibly, as though the Time Lord was clinging to him. He placed his own hands over the Doctor's, twining their fingers together as they stood there.

What would he do if the Doctor had to regenerate? He didn't know -- it seemed unfathomable to him, in spite of the fact that he had the other man's memories.

But if it did happen while they were together, he'd find a way to cope with it. The Doctor would need him, probably more than ever. And if the Time Lord didn't want him around any more -- well, he would deal with that when it happened.

It wouldn't, he told himself sternly, pushing down the fear that was threatening to wash over him in a gigantic wave that he wanted to cower away from. They would be careful. The Doctor wouldn't be put in that kind of a dangerous situation. He wouldn't allow it to happen.

They'd both been in the position of being the phoenix rising, taking on a new life and adapting themselves to it. The Doctor would more than likely have to do it again -- but John hoped that it wouldn't be in his lifetime.

As for himself .... he was coping with this life he'd fallen into as well as could be expected, thanks to the Doctor helping him along with it. He'd been afraid of it at first, but he was learning more about being human with each day that passed.

Maybe there would come a time when he wouldn't feel comfortable with his human life. But so far, he was fitting into it with hardly any trouble.

True, it wouldn't always be easy. And he couldn't simply choose to regenerate into another body when something happened to this one. But, all in all, he was happy with who and what he was -- and curious about what the future held, for both himself and the Doctor.

***