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Title: To Serve and Protect
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: gen
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: Beta 1, challenge_the
Prompt: 7, Protection
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

That had been another job well done, the Doctor told himself as he headed back to the Tardis, barely glancing around him at the people walking down the street. None of them knew who he was, and he didn't care to talk to anyone at the moment.

He didn't even glance around to let any memories he might have of this particular street in London come back to him; he rarely did that any more. Some of those memories were too bittersweet; he'd rather let them stay hidden in the back of his mind.

When had he become so jaded? he wondered as he approached the blue box and laid his hand on the door. He used to feel elation when he'd managed to avert some sort of crisis. Now, he merely felt that he'd done his job, without the satisfaction that usually gave him.

No, that wasn't entirely true. He could still feel a glow of satisfaction with the knowledge that he'd done something good for the world. That wasn't entirely gone. It was just that at times, he felt empty without having anyone to share that satisfaction with.

It had been a while since he'd had a companion, but he wasn't really in the market for one. He'd stopped looking, deciding that he preferred to travel alone.

As he'd told someone not long ago, his companions always eventually left him -- usually of their own accord, to go back to the lives they'd left temporarily when they'd accepted his offer to travel with him. In the end, they did break his hearts.

He couldn't live with that sort of heartbreak any more. It had been easier when he was younger, when he'd felt that he had so much ahead of him. Though he was nowhere near being "old" in Time Lord terms, he still felt the weight of centuries bearing down on him.

Maybe he was feeling this way because he'd gotten tired of looking for the companion who would fill not only a companion's space in his life, but who would mean something more to him. Up until this point, no one had, and he was disillusioned with the search.

Of course, Jack had filled the role of companion and lover -- but he hadn't wanted to stay, any more than the other humans who had been a part of his life had wanted to be a permanent fixture. A wry smile twisted his life at the thought of his former lover.

There was something ironic about that, wasn't there? The one who could stay forever had been the one who was the most adamant about not doing so.

But Jack had been motivated to leave for the same reasons that the Doctor had for being a Time Lord, he reminded himself with a soft sigh as he pushed the door of the Tardis open and entered the ship. He wanted to protect the world.

Jack would have probably been a good Time Lord, he thought with another wry smile as he closed the door behind him and walked up the three steps that led to the control room. He had the right sort of motivation, and that counted for a lot.

The immortal was willing to put his personal needs and desires on a back burner for the good of the world around him, unlike many other people. Even if he did slip at times and turn his back on his principles, they were still usually in the right place.

That was what being a Time Lord was all about -- protecting and serving, much like the human police. Though he didn't much like to think of himself as an intergalatic police officer, in a way, that was exactly what he was. He protected and served the people of the universe.

It might be a strange way to think of himself, but then again, he'd always been rather fascinated with that peculiarly human way of looking at the world.

He'd never thought of himself as a policeman, really. It wasn't his job to keep any sort of wrongdoing from happening; it would be impossible for even someone as powerful as a Time Lord to do that. And at any rate, he wasn't allowed to interfere with history.

Not that he paid much attention to that decree, he told himself as he bent over the console of his ship. He'd spent his life getting into trouble with the higher powers of his world for not obeying all of their strict rules, but he certainly didn't regret that.

He wasn't going to stand by and not interfere when he knew that something had to be done to save a lot of innocent people. Though there had been times when he'd had to do so, and it had torn his hearts out to know that he couldn't do what he felt was right.

His experience in Pompeii just before the city's destruction had been hard to bear. He'd done the right thing by saving that one family -- but if only it had been possible to save the other inhabitants of that once-great city.

That hadn't been within his power. He didn't have the right to alter history in such a dramatic way; he'd had to sacrifice those people for the sake of the future.

He hadn't been able to extend his protection to them, and that had hurt. How many times throughout his lifetime had he been in the same position, desperately wanting to protect people he knew would perish needlessly and being constricted from doing so?

Too many times to count, he thought wearily as he ran a hand over his face. That was one of the aspects of what he was that had a difficult time facing -- the knowledge that in spite of all the power a Time Lord could wield, he coudn't save everyone.

Still, he could serve all the different races of the galaxy as best he could, and do whatever he could for them when he was needed. That was what he was, what he'd always wanted to be ever since he was a child. He wouldn't change what he was, not for any reason.

He tried his best to protect those people, to make sure that they came to no harm, but he couldn't always succeed in that goal. There were times when he had to let them fend for themselves, to step back and let history take its cours.

It was hard for him to do; he always wanted to help. But there was a line drawn that he couldn't cross, a line that kept him from being the protector he wanted to be.

But he did the best he could with what he was allowed. He couldn't really do more than that, could he? He couldn't hold himself up to impossible expectations; that would only discourage him and make him feel that he couldn't accomplish things that were possible.

Companion or no companion, he would continue to protect and serve the galaxy and all its inhabitants to the best of his ability. He was, after all, a Time Lord. That was the responsibility he'd taken on when he was very young, and he'd never abandon it.

That was his job, what he'd always wanted to do in life. He couldn't ask for more than that, really, he reflected, a small smile beginning to form on his lips. This time, it was a smile that reached his eyes and warmed his soul, not merely a self-deprecating expression.

It didn't really matter that there was no companion -- or lover -- in his life at the moment. There was an infinite future stretching ahead of him -- and those people were out there. Someday, he would find them. He wasn't going to give up looking. Not as long as there was a future.

The Doctor pushed a button on the console, bracing himself slightly as he felt the familiar displacement of time and space. He raised a hand to his forehead, saluting himself as his thoughts turned to where he was headed next.

***